To FanFiction Writers,
I will admit that I am touched by the fact that you seem to all like me quite a lot, but gee, the stuff you write isn't really very appropriate is it? For one, when I was a kid, I didn't even know what bi-sexual meant. I think that was quite obvious… please don't take it so literally.
Please do not pair me with Eric anymore. Not only am I straight, but Eric is a mean old boy. He's gotten me in trouble so many times. He's the reason for practically half of my groundings! God damn it. I know hate is strong word an all, but I hate him. If he ever tried anything dodgy on me like that (with me knowing that he was doing it – that one time where I was blind folded was uncalled for) I would tell him to go and suck on his own penis.
Also Kenny is a perfectly good friend but I only think of him as a friend.
How about you write stories about the adventures I get up to when I'm grounded? (Not as in masturbating, please stop your perverted thoughts) Such as me taking over the internet in my secret computer base in out basement (I know that I don't actually have a secret computer base but it would be pretty cool if I did, you know what I am saying?) and the whole world bows down to Professor Chaos to let them have the internet back… mwahahaha!
From Butters.
A/N: It's more funny when you imagine a Butters accent saying this. I am sooo sorry that I haven't updated my internet has been really crappy lately, and unless it stops working again I will try to update every day from now on! Yey. Review again and you can get an anime version of South Park made!