Author's Note: this really is my longest chapter ever…mostly because Rachel holds lots of speeches in this one…
Count To Ten
Chapter 11
Quinn had never before been so glad to be part of a friendship that was called The Unholy Trinity by the majority of McKinley's students before. It was an ominous, daunting title with a negative connotation. It inspired fear. It kept people at an arm's length. It was exactly what she needed. Because people may dare to insult her when she was just Quinn; people may talk down to Brittany when she was on her own; some may even try to get fresh with Santana when she found herself without the company of the two blondes. But no one was dumb enough to try their luck with the joined force of The Unholy Trinity. And everyone knew that extended to their friends. Surprising as it may be to everyone else, that now included Rachel Berry.
Rachel, of course, hadn't wanted to hear any of it. The day before, they'd had dinner with her dads before retreating up to her room and watching a movie. Quinn had still wanted answers that Rachel hadn't seemed inclined to give, making it perfectly clear that the topics of slaps, forgiveness and parental inattentiveness weren't up for discussion any longer. Thinking it was maybe fear that made Rachel close off, Quinn had tried to reassure Rachel by declaring her protected by the powerful union she and Brittana formed. That had prompted a lecture on independence and fighting one's own battles from the energetic brunette and a slap on the arm when she thought Quinn wasn't listening. But Quinn had been listening – she just didn't know what to make of all the things she learned about Rachel recently. You have an opinion on everything, yet you tell me only half of it, she had said then. Rachel had opened and closed her mouth a few times before hugging Quinn close and snuggling into her in lieu of an answer. Talking was over-rated, anyway. Some might call what Rachel did giving mixed signals, but Quinn understood it for what it was: it was one step from heart after the other, and Rachel took the steps that revolved around confessions slowly.
Quinn was fine with that, really. She didn't need Rachel to make it easy on her. But her mind was still reeling from the past day's events, and she knew that Rachel was affected, too. She may have explained her behavior and her reactions, she may have opened herself up to Quinn on many levels, but there was still a lot that went unsaid. What was it that Rachel had said about forgiving Grant? I need to find it in myself to forgive him, because if I can't do that…
If she couldn't do it, then what? The brunette was one of the most kind-hearted people she had ever met, despite her sometimes egotistical tendencies. It certainly wouldn't cost her any karma points if she never forgave Grant. But then, that wasn't what Rachel was concerned about, was it? Rachel had always forgiven easily, and Quinn didn't think it was because she wanted to make things easier for herself or anyone else or because she expected acceptance and friendship for being so understanding. No, Rachel's forgiveness came from an honest and caring place in her heart, that much Quinn was sure of. Grant wasn't an easy case, but Rachel would absolve him just like she always did with everyone. But no one ever absolved her, did they? Rachel was always blamed, then ignored. And after a while, things would go back to the way they were before. All was forgiven and forgotten. Except - had anyone ever really told her that she was forgiven? It may have been implied in the way they treated her, but it was never said out loud. And Quinn knew that some things didn't mean a damn thing if you never said them out loud.
So where did that leave her? I need to find it in myself to forgive him, too… Did Rachel think it would belittle the forgiveness she had granted her friends if she didn't offer the same to Grant? Did she feel the need to treat a guy she barely knew, who had deliberately caused her physical and emotional pain, the same way she treated friends who had carelessly hurt her? Why? Because she believed in equality and hated the caste system that prevailed at their school? Or because she believed everyone deserved a second chance? A third chance? A hundred chances?
Why did she offer forgiveness to someone who never even asked for it? Or someone who never realized how much they really hurt her? Or someone making the same mistake again and again? Why why why?
Quinn didn't know and from the looks of it, she wouldn't figure it out until Rachel told her, but that was another thing Rachel had stonewalled her on.
It frustrated her, and she'd never handled frustration well. Refusing to let the frustrating fester in her, but also not wanting to let it out on Rachel, Quinn did the only thing she knew would work: she let it out on someone else. It was a good thing no one expected the queen bitch of The Unholy Trinity to be nice.
Rachel was pissed off, and she was sure it showed. Where was the Quinn from Monday or the week before? This Quinn was nothing like her. No, the Quinn she had the questionable joy of spending most of her Tuesday with was a bully; an unrelenting, havoc-wrecking, mean bitch. If someone even looked at her the wrong way, Quinn would go off on them. If someone bumped into her – hello? crowded hallway? – she would give them a push. And if anyone else than the Glee kids tried to talk to her, she would fix them with a stare, poke them in the chest and threaten them with bodily harm if they didn't think about their words carefully.
Santana didn't act much better, though she was a less scary version of Quinn (and when had that ever happened?) and Brittany was…well, she was Brittany, but all in all, they were all horrible. The Unholy Trinity. It was like they were trying to live up to the title, and five hours into the school day, Rachel decided they really were deserving of it.
"Watch it", Quinn said to an unsuspecting freshman.
The boy looked confused and then irritated, simply having bypassed the girls on his way to his locker.
"Go anything to say?", Santana snapped, stepping closer to him.
The freshman looked from Santana to Quinn, then at Brittany, who scowled at him. Finally, his gaze settled on Rachel.
"Leave her alone or I'll make you suffer", Quinn threatened.
"Yeah", Brittany added.
The freshman hurried off.
"What's gotten into you?", Rachel asked, anger making her voice rise. "He hasn't done anything!"
"He looked like trouble", Quinn explained, but even Santana looked doubtful at that.
"That's it", Rachel said. "I've had enough of this!" Fuming, she pushed past her self-proclaimed protectors and through the sea of students. Quinn wanted to behave like a jerk? Well she could do that all on her own. She wasn't going to be part of this any longer. Who did she even think she was? Not that long ago, the blonde herself had been one of her greatest enemies, and now she thought she could have a go at others? What even for? Not one single person had done or said anything even remotely hurtful to her the whole day. Granted, The Unholy Trinity may have played a part in that, but was it really necessary to threaten the whole student body? Hadn't Quinn listened to Rachel when she had told her that she was perfectly able to fight her own battles? Sure, she hadn't expected Quinn to not do anything. But this? This was a bad joke.
And why were Santana and Brittany even going along with this? The Latina had never been her greatest fan, even with the truce they had going at the moment. And she may mostly go along with what Brittany wanted, but Rachel couldn't believe that the friendly, bubbly girl would've asked her to do something like this. Brittany's form of protection was a much more peaceful kind. No, it was Quinn who had put them up to this, but it seemed strange that they would just follow her lead.
Stopping in her tracks Rachel realized that she was now on the other end of the school building, close to the auditorium. Maybe this was her chance to let off some steam by singing her heart out. Maybe then she'd be able to wrap her mind around Quinn's attitude and Santana and Brittany's motives.
"We lost her", Santana noted.
"Sorry, Quinn", Brittany said, hanging her head.
"I'm an ass", Quinn admitted.
"You kind of are, but Rachel's gonna get over it", Santana shrugged. "I mean, I was all for putting the fear of god into these idiot's heads, but even I realize we went a bit too far. It was fun, though."
"You were really into it", Quinn pointed out.
"What can I say? The dwarf has grown on me. You're my friend. And jocks like Grant piss me the hell off. All very good reasons to go a little overboard."
"I'm still an ass", Quinn sighed.
"Rachel knows you only behave like that because you care about her", Brittany reassured.
"And because you're repressed and unable to deal with your feelings in a healthy way", Santana interjected.
"That, too", Brittany nodded. "But she's going to forgive you. She always forgives everyone."
"Yeah", Quinn agreed, unsure as to why that knowledge didn't really ease her mind.
"Rachel will be back in your arms in not time", Santana said. "I mean, that girl practically invented forgiven and forgotten." With that, she linked pinkies with Brittany and walked off, leaving Quinn alone with her thoughts. She had fucked up, but her friends were right – Rachel really was all about forgiving and forgetting. And that was what it all came down to, wasn't it? She was no closer to figuring the girl out, and this whole forgiving business was the core of her confusion.
Forgiven and forgotten only went so far. What did that even mean? It wasn't like one could erase their mistakes. Save for a serious case of amnesia, it wasn't likely that one would ever truly forget the pain inflicted on them. Forgiven and forgotten. Forgiven, maybe; but forgotten only in the sense that past mistakes would not be held against you in the future. And Rachel – trusting, caring, understanding Rachel – may forgive and forget, but every time someone hurt her it did something to her. Her heart, her soul, didn't forget. And for Quinn, that was simply unacceptable.
Nothing she knew about the brunette told her why she always forgave. There was her big heart and her belief in people. There was the fact that some people desperately needed to be forgiven whether they realized it or not. There was the fact that Rachel herself needed closure to move on. But the puzzle was still not complete. Because from Quinn's point of view, it seemed like Rachel was simply unable to not forgive. It was one of the most inspiring and saddening thoughts she had ever had.
"I'm gonna push the clouds away, push so I can see the way, gonna push until I find my way home…"
"That was awesome", Brittany said, startling Rachel. "I thought I would find you here."
"Thank you", the diva said, taking a bow from the stage. "The auditorium is kind of my safe haven." Sitting down on the edge of the stage, she waited for the blonde to reveal why she was here, and why she was here alone.
"Don't stop singing on my account", Brittany hurried to say. "I love listening to you sing."
"I was done anyway", Rachel explained. "So, did Quinn send you?"
"No."
"Santana?"
"Really?", the blonde asked.
"My bad", Rachel smiled. "So, is there something you needed, or…?" She let the question hang in the air, hoping Brittany wasn't here to reason with her. Knowing the girl, rainbows and ducks would be fundamental parts of her argumentation.
"The girls are looking for you. I had a hunch and wanted to catch you alone. I just wanted to say sorry for our behavior."
"I appreciate that", Rachel nodded.
"Quinn just really worries about you", Brittany said, sitting down next to Rachel.
"I understand that. I just wish she'd find a different way to express it", Rachel sighed.
Brittany leaned back, her eyes on the ceiling. "She's trying. I think she hasn't yet realized that you don't need her to protect you." Glancing at the brunette, her entire expression turned serious. "You can lean on her and let her support you, but you don't need her to fight you battles."
"Exactly", Rachel said, glad that at least one person understood where she was coming from.
"And anyway, as the hero, it's your job to protect her", the blonde continued, her gaze fixed on the ceiling again.
"I…what?" That wasn't what Rachel had expected.
"Santana told me not to tell you because your head's already big enough, but I don't think you have a big head. Your nose is a little bit big, but your head? And anyway, I wanted to tell you. You're kind of my hero."
"Brittany, I'm nobody's hero", Rachel objected, slightly unnerved by the fact that the blonde wasn't looking at her.
"Sure you are. You're proud of yourself. You're sure of yourself. You don't change for anyone, and I admire that."
"It's not that easy."
"Isn't it?", Brittany asked. Suddenly, her eyes were on Rachel again, and the brunette decided it was better when she had looked at the ceiling. At least this way, she didn't feel like her soul was inspected. "Everything can be easy, Rachel. The world doesn't need to be complicated. People put you down, but you stay strong. That's kind of your power, you know? You're super strong. Not like, with lifting weights or anything, but character-wise."
Rachel shook her head, breaking the ridiculously strong hold Brittany's eyes had on her. "Sometimes, I'm tired of being strong."
"Heroes can be tired, too", the blonde said matter-of-factly.
"Please don't call me that."
"Why not?"
"Because I am proud of who I am. And I do refuse to change for anyone else. But I'm definitely no poster child. There have been times when I considered changing to the likings of my peers, betraying who I am; just to be liked, just to fit in."
"But you didn't. That's strength", Brittany concluded.
"I counted to ten, didn't I? I took Santana's advice and counted to ten whenever I wanted to say something so people would be more receptive. So people wouldn't get a headache from talking to me. So people would like me more."
Brittany's eyes went wide. "But you're still you. You're still Rachel."
"And most people wouldn't call that a good thing", Rachel said. "I'm not popular. Far from it. It's always been like this, and a part of me is afraid that that won't change, even if I changed. A part of me is afraid that even if I try to fit in, it still won't be enough. I still won't be enough. That's not strength. It's a lot of things, but it's nothing one should admire."
Unable to stand Brittany's piercing look any longer, Rachel almost turned away, but couldn't ignore that the girl looked like she would burst into tears any minute. She raised her hand to lay it on the girl's shoulder and suddenly found herself with an arm full of crying blonde.
"It's okay", she reassured. She needed to believe it as much as Brittany needed to hear it.
"Can we go back to Q and San now?", Brittany asked, her voice small.
"Of course", Rachel answered, willing to do anything to make her friend happy again.
Walking out of the room arm in arm, neither of the two noticed the figure hidden between back-row seats watching them leave with a triumphant grin.
"What's all the commotion about?", Mercedes asked no one in particular.
Lunch break was almost over, but a large part of the students was rushing to the lunch room instead of their lockers.
Kurt turned to Mercedes and rubbed his hands together. "Let's find out."
Making their way to the large room, they stopped dead in their tracks when they reached the entrance. The room was bursting with students, all of them assembled around a group of people flashing their red and white uniforms. Cheerleaders and footballers. One of them, a thin redhead with a positively evil expression on her face, was standing on a table.
"This cannot be good", Kurt said.
"That's Stacey", they heard Noah, who had come up behind Kurt and Mercedes and was watching the girl on the table.
"What are you doing here?"
"The same as you – satisfying curiosity", he smirked. "I heard something was going to go down here, so I called the troops", he said, gesturing around him. Most of the Glee club had come with him, safe for Quinn, Rachel, Brittany and Santana.
"How do you know Stacey?", Tina asked.
"Well, we once had an encounter in-"
"Forget I asked", she quickly interrupted him, having a feeling this story was going to end in sex, like most things did with Noah.
"What do you think she's up to?", Mercedes wanted to know.
"Something bad", Artie predicted.
"It could be something totally innocent", Sam argued, ever the optimist.
"She's a cheerleader", Noah snorted.
"And she's Grant's girlfriend", Finn added.
That alarmed all of them. "Where's Rachel?", Tina asked worriedly.
"I don't see her."
"Hopefully not here."
"Maybe she's in the band room."
"Should we tell her?"
"There's Quinn and Santana", Finn said, pointing to the other side of the room where he had spotted the two girls.
"Wave them over here, big guy", Kurt instructed.
A few minutes later, only Rachel and Brittany were missing from their group, and the sea of students had grown even more. Apparently, no one wanted to miss out on whatever the cheerleader had planned.
"If this has something to do with Rachel, I'm going to seriously hurt her", Quinn said.
"I think it's starting", Mike whispered.
Stacey was still standing on the table, but now she was waving her pompons in the air to signal everyone to be silent. "I'm here because I have something to say to you", her voice boomed. "As you all know, my boyfriend Grant was suspended for hitting Rachel Berry – something I'm sure each and every one of you has wanted to do once or twice."
"She's dead", Quinn growled, already starting forward, but strong hands held her back.
"Rachel Berry thinks she's better than us. She thinks she's something special. She thinks she can agitate everyone around her and get away with it."
"Being slapped is not getting away with it", someone shouted.
"Violence is not the answer", another voice was heard.
"It's her own fault, really", Stacey continued unfazed.
"If she says she had it coming, I'm helping you kill her, Q", Santana spit out.
"She had it coming" Stacey said.
"That's it", Noah and Finn both exclaimed, trying to make their way over to Stacey's table with Quinn and Santana at their heels. But they didn't make it far – the lunch room was just too full with students, and they were literally trapped.
"Look!", Mercedes suddenly shouted, her gaze fixed on something to their left.
"Rachel", Quinn breathed.
A murmur went through the crowd as more and more people realized that Rachel and Brittany were standing among them, silently listening to Stacey. Stacey realized it too, and her expression grew even more grim. "You had it coming", she emphasized, directing her words at the diva.
With their fists balled up at their sides, the Glee kids couldn't do anything but watch. They felt for their friend, for the embarrassment she was going through. But the only way they could move was out the door, and if they did, they'd never get back in with dozens of students blocking the way; and they'd be even farther away from her than they already were. Anger was clearly visible on their faces; none of them had ever done helplessness well, and this was one of their own who was hurting. There wasn't really anything they could say, either, except "Stop it you stupid bitch", but that probably wasn't too advisable in their current position. If anything, it would only cause a shouting match resulting in a riot. Not a good idea when you were stuck between a few hundred teenagers.
"And you know it, too", Stacey continued. "You know it's your own damn fault nobody likes you, and that's why just take it, right?"
Nobody even moved or made a sound, and Rachel's voice was heard clearly through the room. "Maybe I'm just trying to be the bigger person. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe I believe in turning the other cheek, Stacey."
"That's not what you told Brittany, is it?", Stacey asked.
A sharp intake of breath and a shocked look was enough to hold the attention of the onlookers on Rachel, and when they turned back to the cheerleader, she held something in her hands that looked like a recorder. Smiling triumphantly, she pressed a button, and Rachel's voice filled the room.
"I counted to ten, didn't I? I took Santana's advice and counted to ten whenever I wanted to say something so people would be more receptive. So people wouldn't get a headache from talking to me. So people would like me more."
"But you're still you. You're still Rachel", Brittany's voice sounded.
"And most people wouldn't call that a good thing. I'm not popular. Far from it. It's always been like this, and a part of me is afraid that that won't change, even if I changed. A part of me is afraid that even if I try to fit in, it still won't be enough. I still won't be enough. That's not strength. It's a lot of things, but it's nothing one should admire."
Pressing another button, Stacey set the recorder down on the table and turned to Rachel. "You're not being the bigger person. You're just a sad, insignificant small town girl who likes to show off. You know people don't like you, you don't even like yourself, and you take whatever people throw at you because you know that it's exactly what someone like you deserves."
"Someone like me?", Rachel asked. "Someone who tries to get out of this town? Someone who doesn't bend to the rules of this school's fucked up version of a caste system? Someone who talks too loud and has no fashion style? Someone who speaks from the heart? Someone who doesn't worship the ground you walk on because you're a cheerleader? What about someone like you? Someone who takes pleasure in other people's misery, someone who publicly humiliates others; someone who needs attention so badly, who needs to defend their status so desperately, that they sanction a violent act committed against another person; what does someone like you deserve? What are you willing to take?"
"I can take whatever you dish out", Stacey shrugged.
"I can, too", Rachel promised. "The difference is, I can do it with my consciousness intact." Looking around, she tried to gauge the predominant mood in the room. Many were against her, she knew. Some rooted for her, she knew that, too. But as she caught Quinn's eyes, she knew that for some the outcome of this situation was as important as it was for her. She needed to decide what she wanted to do now – stay true to herself and just say what was on her mind; or ensure her victory over Stacey by saying what she knew would work. In the end, there really wasn't a decision to be made. She was Rachel Berry. She may play to win where her Broadway career was concerned, but she didn't play with emotions.
"Make no mistake, I'm not depressive and I don't hate myself. I love myself. It's difficult to like me, right? That's what I've been told and that's what everyone shows me. Well, tough. I could change every single thing about myself and you still wouldn't like me. Right now I'm unique and you laugh at me for it. Next week I'll be just like you and you'll resent and disrespect me for it. I won't be able to do right by you, will I? So why try? Why make the effort? Who knows, maybe some of you would like a different me. But why should I care? You couldn't like me before? You want me to play pretend? Sorry, I can't do that. Going down that path, that would make me depressive. That would make me hate myself. Because I am who I am and you're not worth changing for."
With that, she turned around and walked out of the room. She walked and walked, never once looking back. She didn't need to see Stacey's reaction. She didn't need to see anyone's reaction. What she needed was some peace and quiet. Some alone time. What she didn't need was an audience for what was surely going to be an epic breakdown. She didn't want anyone to see her like that, except maybe for-
"Quinn!", she shrieked, completely surprised by the blonde suddenly standing in front of her.
"That was…you were…" Quinn was trying to find words while catching her breath. Her hands were on her knees and her face was red.
"Are you okay?", Rachel asked concerned.
"I should be asking you that", Quinn frowned. At Rachel's stern look, she added "I'm okay. I just had to shove and push and run a little bit to catch up to you. Listen-"
"Wait", Rachel interrupted. She was glad that Quinn cared enough to go after her, but something had been on her mind ever since her talk with Brittany, and as she really didn't want to talk about Stacey, now seemed like the perfect time to bring it up. "Brittany said something to me today. About me being strong-"
"Yeah, and I heard your answer to that", Quinn interjected.
"No, before that. She said that I was strong and that it was my job to protect you. What did she mean?"
Quinn raised her eyebrows. Did Rachel really want to this now of all times? "She's in hero-worship mode. She knows you want to stand your own ground. She probably just tried to make you see you'd do the same thing for me that I was trying to do for you."
Rachel shook her head. "That's not what she meant, and you know that as well as I do. What do you need protection from, Quinn?"
Quinn thought about that question, about what her answer would be. She wanted Rachel to be open with her, to talk to her about her fears and problems. That meant she needed to put herself out there, too. It was scary, but she could do it. For Rachel, she could do it. "I think that maybe, I need someone to protect my heart", she finally admitted.
"Oh Quinn…" Rachel felt the need to take the blonde in her arms, but they were still on school grounds, and she still planned on getting home before letting her emotional side take over.
"You were amazing in there", Quinn said. "And I was such a jerk today. I understand if you don't want to, but I'd really like to take you home and…I don't know…get something to eat…watch a movie…forget this day ever happened…plan Stacey's unfortunate tumble from a flight of stairs…"
"Quinn."
"I just want to make sure you're alright. I can't…I realize I went about it the wrong way today, but I can make it up to you. Please let me make it up to you", the blonde implored.
"Quinn", Rachel said again. "Yes, you behaved like a jerk, but you did it because you care about me. Unlike Stacey, you didn't deliberately set out to hurt me."
"I did, before", Quinn whispered.
"We've already been through that", Rachel sighed. "I've forgiven you."
"But I hurt you again."
"Not intentionally."
"You forgive too easily."
"So you told me."
"Are you going to forgive Stacey?"
Rachel said nothing. She really didn't want to have this conversation at school, but she owed Quinn answers.
"She's not going to apologize", the blonde stated. "She's not going to even feel sorry. And given the chance, she'll hurt you again. Intentionally."
"And maybe someday she'll see the error of her ways, but I'm not going to wait until that day to find closure. Quinn, you have to understand that she hasn't yet done anything that I can't get over about. My forgiveness may not be important to her, but it's important for me."
"You make it too easy for her", Quinn insisted. "You're effectively giving her a free pass. You forgive her, and she'll take that, but she won't care. She'll hurt you again and you'll forgive her again. We're not talking about shampoo here, Rachel. Rinse and repeat should not apply to hurting someone. "
Something about the tone of Quinn's voice alerted Rachel to the fact that they weren't just talking about Stacey anymore. She knew she had not yet properly explained her feelings on forgiveness to the blonde, but she hadn't known how much it really bothered Quinn. "Like it did with you?"
"What?", Quinn asked. Yes, everything in her shouted.
"Look at where we are now", Rachel said. "It paid off, didn't it? It may have taken some time, but you finally took that forgiveness serious. We all learn, Quinn."
"Stacey won't", Quinn insisted. "Grant won't." Because they're not in love with you, she thought. But then, was that really important? She hadn't stopped hurting Rachel because she fell in love with her, had she? She had started feeling bad and trying to change before that, hadn't she? She had first acted like a decent human being around Rachel, going from enemies to tentative friends. Falling in love had come after that. And anyway, it wasn't like one needed to fall in love to feel bad for hurting someone.
"Maybe not", Rachel agreed. "I can live with that. Rinse and repeat brought me you, Quinn, and that's more than enough."
But what if Stacey was like Quinn? What if she just needed time and Rachel's influence to realize how wrong she'd been acting? What if she decided to apologize? What if she changed her attitude? Would Rachel then welcome her with open arms like she had with Quinn? What if Quinn wasn't special to Rachel at all?
"It's more than enough", Rachel stressed when Quinn didn't say anything.
What if she and Stacey were just the same? What if they were both just former enemies who finally got their act together and befriended Rachel?
"I think you feel threatened", Rachel said, reading the blonde's thoughts. "Because if I forgive Stacey and Grant, it's no wonder I've forgiven you, is it? What they did to me is worse than what you ever did to me, right? So comparing that, it would have been easy to forgive you, right? And if it's that easy, that means I don't care about what you did to me all that much; I don't care about you all that much – is that what you're thinking? Well, you're wrong. You may not want to hear it, and I'm not telling you this because I want you to feel bad, but the things you said and did to me hurt much worse than anything Grant or Stacey could ever do or say to me. Because I care about so much about you. I always have. And when you're hurt by someone, it's more about the who than the what. But that's also true for when you forgive someone. I may forgive their actions, but that doesn't mean I'll ever be friends with them. I care about you more, Quinn. And that makes all the difference."
Quinn didn't know what to say to that. It was more than she had expected; more of an explanation and more feelings; she felt blessed and happy that Rachel knew her so well, that she had opened herself up. But something in that declaration was off…"Good to know I rank higher than Stacey or Grant", she commented.
"I care about you more", Rachel repeated.
"I heard you."
"You hear me, but you don't understand. I care about you more. Not more than. There's no comparison. But if you really need one: I care about you more than almost anyone else."
Oh. "Almost?", she grinned.
"I do have parents whom I love very much, Quinn", Rachel smiled.
"You care about me more." Joy surged through her and the grin wouldn't leave her face.
"Yes. No matter how much of a jerk you can be", Rachel jokingly added.
"About that…I…I'm…" sorry, she wanted to say, because she was. But the words wouldn't come – they had repeated that cycle often enough. She wasn't going to apologize this time. This time, she wasn't going to use empty words. She was going to use words that meant more than that.
"Brittany was right. You are a hero. And you protect me. You protect my heart, sometimes without even trying to. And I'm going to protect yours, if you let me. You'll need to forgive me – I can't promise to never behave like a jerk again. But I can promise that I'll always try to be deserving of that forgiveness. Because I care about you more. Because I more than just like you. And I never meant anything more than that."
And then she took a step forward and pressed her lips against Rachel's. For a split second, before the brunette responded, she panicked, but then she let herself fall into the kiss. In that moment, there was only them. Only Rachel's lips on hers and her hips under her fingers and her scent in her nose and her own heart beating wildly. And when it was over, they stood with their foreheads pressed together, eyes fixed on each other, breathing heavily. "More", Rachel breathed out.
Quinn didn't know if Rachel referred to her earlier words or if it was a request for another kiss, but she decided that it didn't matter, claiming the brunette's lips once again.
They would deal with whatever the world had in store for them later. Grant, Stacey, parents, and the fact that they had stood there talking and kissing long enough for dozens of students to fill the hallway and gawk at them. At the moment, they didn't care. Because this, the two of them…it was more.
A/N: I have too many ideas and unresolved parts for this to end here…so what do you think? I can either do a little time jump or a sequel…Any preferences?