A/N: I just noticed that I wanted to make clear the changes I made to the timeline of the game in this story. I realized, while typing this chapter, that it would seem a little confusing to someone who has not broken open my skull and peeked at the thoughts therein.
The beginning is pretty much from the game, where they flee and Bethany dies, since Hawke is a mage. However, Carver became the friendly one through a series of events that will come up later. They also go through their year of servitude, in this case to Meeran. Hawke sort of 'betrays' Meeran like in the quest you get and so Leandra dies early and also Gamlen is killed. Before they leave for the Deep Roads, Carver leaves for Lothering/Denerim instead of dying/becoming a warden/becoming a templar. Sebastian's quest also came before they left, so he joined the merry band of Hawke, but did not go with them. Varric, Fenris, and Anders were in the group. So technically, this story is a bit before the Deep Roads and skips around in the time after, currently five months after in this chapter. The next few chapters will probably happen during the three years that are not played before the year of the Qunari problems. When the main time frame changes, I'll let you know. And the thing with Anders is kinda… Weird, I know, but I just can't explain it. Think of some mushy reason, like… "There is justice in love." Or something.
I've been worrying about how 'rushed' the relationship between everyone seems, but I think it is because in fanfiction, unless it is the point of the plot, you cannot walk through every day of someone's life, else it take forever. So if you feel like it is rushed, I guess you can think of it as the game, where there are these big pieces of time where you have no idea what people did. Hopefully it will grow on me, else I'll be writing a whole lot more…
Also, I realize that I have been posting the chapters pretty quickly. If it makes anyone queasy, it's because I had about 17 Microsoft Word pages typed up before I began posting here, and each chapter is roughly 7 pages long. It also helps that sometimes I can't help to type.
T.I.M- Sorry about the punctuation issue, I keep forgetting to edit the blasted thing when I put it up on the site (It eats them like candy it seems). I appreciate comments, whether they are fangirly and sleep-deprived or not, since I sometimes do that myself. I wasn't sure how people would feel about this plot, so I'm happy at least someone does (or at least does enough to comment).
Thanks to you who are reading, please comment if you like/hate/are confused about anything!
Chapter 4
Life in the company rolled on in a relative calmness and only slightly different than before. The Chantry brother was rarely seen in her presence and refused to answer questions pertaining to that fact. Isabela would hardly say a word to the mage, claiming to only stay in Kirkwall because she was down one ship and she was already paid for a year at the Blooming Rose. Merrill and Lucy once again became friends, though a disappointed look on the elder mage's face proved to wither the blood mage at times. The elf learned never to mention it ever again when she made the mistake of purposing using the forbidden magic to restore the leader's voice.
However, as the months ran by, Hawke became more distant. She was more emotional it seemed and she spent a lot of time in her room. While visiting one day, Anders was the victim of Bodahn's complaints as he rattled off the strange foods that the lady of the house would request for meals at all hours of the day. He also noted that she was eating much more and seemed to look a little different. Intrigue peaked, the healer prodded the woman. She became quite fussy about it, as the dwarf had said, and all but threw him bodily from her room. He was thankful she couldn't scream, for she looked angered enough to blow the Keep down with a bellow.
Suspicion filled his mind as he walked to Lowtown, towards the Hanged Man. Ever since whatever it was left him; Justice had not bothered him about fulfilling his need for a good drink. Though he became tired more often when healing those less fortunate in Darktown, he had felt lighter and more like his old self. All he was missing was Ser Pounce-A-Lot and it would be the perfect nostalgia. When he sat down with Varric and Isabela, he brought the issue up in passing, though he was very vague about it. Isabela suggested the simple female alternative to the myriad of serious situations Anders had been considering. Varric was more serious as he put forth the response that had been on all their minds. The mage looked blankly into his mug of ale as he mulled over the reaction he should be having. Unless something had happened while they were not looking, her ailment could not be at the hand of a Templar. And if she hadn't visited some unknown third party, that left only him to be her carcinogen.
"I'll see her tonight and solve this," he said to no one in particular. The two rogues nodded in agreement and a last drain of tankards was made in unison. Anders left after a quick game of Wicked Grace and the sun had begun to set. Making his way through Hightown he took note of the severe lack of children in the streets. There were no young boys chasing each other, no little girls chatting quickly with their friends in new dresses. Just merchants and the rich aristocracy clogged pathways otherwise lifeless. He figured it was better than Lowtown and Darktown, where orphans and sick children sat in the dirt.
He was surprised to see Sebastian skulking in front of Hawke's door when he rounded the corner. The man looked troubled with his eyebrows knitted and wringing his hands. Blue eyes locked onto brown ones for just a moment before the former looked away in what seemed to be embarrassment. Anders approached carefully as if walking up to an armed man. The prince hung his head, staring at the ground, as he stood motionless in front of the wooden portal.
"So… What brings you here?" the mage asked at last, curiosity getting the best of him. "You haven't seen Hawke in four months. Well, maybe you have, but you didn't talk to her, let alone look her in the eye."
"I… had heard that she was ill. I came to check on her," he offered weakly. It may have been somewhat true, but the blonde knew better. To get the answer from him, he feigned sarcasm, "yeah, with all her moaning and complaining, it sounds like she's having twins."
This startled Sebastian almost out of his armor. He gave Anders a wide-eyed look filled with horror. That wasn't exactly the reaction he was expecting, but it would do. "Oh, you act like you knew. So, what are you really here for?"
The brunette looked back at his feet and shuffled a stone with his boot. He appeared to be on the verge of tears. "It is as I said, I heard she was sick, and I was concerned for her health. Nothing more."
"I thought it was against your vows to take anyone to bed?" Anders asked nonchalantly. This seemed to hit an open nerve with his companion. In a flash he was slammed against the wall, the few people passing by staring at the altercation. The mage was so amused that he had to laugh. "I guess it was too much for a prince to remain chaste for the rest of his life."
"Princes aren't immune to mage tricks either!" Sebastian yelled into his face. He caught of glimpse of anger and sadness crossing his face before it was washed away by a calm façade. Slowly he was let go as the rogue reached the door. Before he opened it, he gave Anders a look that spoke volumes.
Inside no one could be seen. No dwarves to greet them, no Hawke wafting through the halls. The fireplace was unlit and only a few candles lit the front room. A light could be seen under her bedroom door. Suddenly, while the two men inspected the other rooms, Hawke busted through the door, her staff in hand. Thankfully for reflexes, they were saved a scorching as a fireball made contact with a magical shield. When the smoke cleared, the door was closed once more.
"Messeres! She is out of her mind, I swear it! I told her there was never any dragon's heart, or whatever in the blazes she was asking for, and she just threw magic everywhere before locking herself in her room. I took Sandal with me into the kitchen, since it seems the door is sturdy enough. You have no idea how glad I am to see you," Bodahn said from in front of the kitchen door. He appeared more concerned than usual and a little thinner. He carried with him a candle as if it was his only defense. Anders gave him a reassuring look and a pat on the shoulder before he started up the stairs. Sebastian followed slowly behind, his head hung low as if in shame. The mage paid him no heed as he knocked on the door.
"Hawke! It's just me and Sebastian. You don't need to be so violent. Come on, open the door."
"Lucienda," Sebastian said in a voice barely above a whisper. Anders wasn't sure if he was speaking to himself, him, or the woman in question. "It took a long time for me to sort out the regret I felt that day, but I want you to know that I bare no hard feelings. You have been through so much and at the time I had forgotten about that. It wasn't your fault…"
Anders felt a little shocked at the words coming from the royal's mouth. Possible situations rattled through his head while the door slowly opened. Her head, eyes dulled and hair disheveled, peaked through the crack. They were let inside, allowing them to take in her messy living quarters. Blank vellum pages were scattered around floor, some more with ink blotches littered a small corner by the bed. When he was done inspecting, her turned to Sebastian and noticed the concerned look on his face. Following his gaze, he was faced with the middle of Lucy's body. The finery she wore during her time at home made the need for concern very obvious.
"I guess I was at least partially correct…" he said in a low tone. He looked over the rest of her body, taking note of her flushed face and the slight layer of weight she had gained. Before he could say anything more, Sebastian had crossed the room and took Hawke gently into his arms. She looked lost but wrapped her arms around him nonetheless. It was touching, he supposed, but he was soon distracted by the faint sound of a familiar voice. "Justice! That's what was missing all this time. How could I not have noticed? But if he's not with me, then where…"
Hawke gave a sob, causing Sebastian to release his grip and look at her critically. What Anders was being told in his head felt like too much to believe. He had to get an answer from the source. "Sebastian, what was her magic trick?"
"She…" he paused and bit his lip sheepishly. Once again those blue eyes looked down at the ground in shame. "She paralyzed me, when I was taking care of her last. I was shocked, because she had started talking normally… She paralyzed me with a spell and…"
"It's okay, I get it," he cut him off before he had to watch the man cry. He sighed in defeat and tried to offer comfort to the breaking woman. She allowed him to and almost collapsed in his grip. The man gently sat her on the edge of the bed. Tears were in her eyes once more. Anders looked her in the eye, a silent request held between them, before he placed a soft hand on her abdomen. Without prompting, his hand came to life with blue magic. He guessed he wasn't hearing things after all.
"Normally I'd be happy for you two, but… Well, this is obviously a hard situation. I think I'll let you sort it out, however best you can," Anders said, as he walked away hesitantly. He left the rogue and the mage in what seemed to be a battle to burn the floor with their gazes. If it was not a joke, he knew that Hawke would win anyways. For now, he had to sort out his own head. Also, a strong drink was in order. Varric was sure to need company.
"Hawke, I am not sure what I can possibly say right now," the prince admitted, looking up only to realize she was crying and playing with the hem of her shirt in anxiety. He approached her carefully, a calloused hand gently removing the fabric from her grip while the other tilted her wilting head upwards. Sebastian smiled as best he could, hoping it offered some window through the barrier that seemed to separate them. She smiled back, though much more sadly, but it still gave him a chance. Before he could say any more, she brought him into a firm embrace.
Time seemed to move through a sifter that night. He could only remember silly little instances; them sitting beside each other on the bed, the way she fell asleep against his shoulder for just a minute, the bowing of Hawke's head as she apologized to her servants, and the delicious cake she had made in the middle of the night after his stomach had complained of hunger. Somewhere in between, they had a conversation that Sebastian had rehearsed for the past five months. It made him feel better that she offered no objections.
"I consulted the Grand Cleric, that day. At first she seemed worried for me, but Elthina saw something on my face, or heard it in more words. She became gentler and told me what I never wanted to hear since I took my vows," he said, stopping to take a sip of the warm tea she had just served him. The royal rogue looked lost in his thoughts, but she still listened. "She said I was in love, that this situation was meant to be by the Maker. I said that it had to be some fluke, that the Maker would purposefully allow a man to take vows and then just as quickly make him break them because of something trivial like love. But no, Elthina stood there and did her best to convince me that meeting you, watching you go through so much, and then be some sort of… saving grace for you, were all a learning experience that I needed. Lucy… I will always think of myself as a brother of the Chantry, I will always follow the Maker and his bride Andraste, but… you have taught me to be straight with myself. I am a religious man, but religion is not where I need to be, not anymore."
She looked at him curiously, emotion twinkling in those startling blue eyes of hers. He sighed, but not out of tiredness or defeat. It was a happy sigh, accompanied by a smile and a small laugh afterwards. His hands were becoming sweaty, so sweaty he had to put his tea cup down in fear of dropping it. The Prince of Starkhaven wringed his hands and felt his heart quicken. "Your courage and your trust in me have rekindled the pride inside of me, the pride that told me that I was a prince of a great city, a city that needs me now. I will remove the cross of the Chantry from my back and replace it with that of Starkhaven's people. Lucy, I want to live my life right this time, with someone I love, not going around through the taverns and brothels like I used to."
A hand touched his face. It was warm and had a soft touch. For a moment, he did not realize it was hers, nor did he remember where he was. All he could feel was the tingle of her magic as it wove into his skin; not malicious like before, but soothing and healing. Sebastian looked at her as if she might slap him and run away, but her expression smoothed the wrinkles from his brow and the questioning face became knowing. Before her angelic voice rung in his ears, he had already heard her words. In the corners of his mind he was sure he had heard some proverb about silent bells being the most beautiful when they finally ring. She had rung: "I love you, Sebastian."