This chapter is kinda a filler that I tried posting a couple times. Sorry so long since I updated last, my life has been really hectic. I have a lot more written, I just have to type it. I promise to have more up by Tuesday!
Kurt
It's hard to get out of bed these days, but I think today is the hardest day I've had to deal with yet. Today is the day of his funeral. Just thinking the word is making me tear up. My alarm has already gone off three times, and my Dad came in to tell me I have one hour to get ready, and be at the funeral home. I know I need to get up, but all I can seem to do is stare at his picture sitting on the nightstand. I know I shouldn't torture myself like this, but I cling to his memory, still not completely grasping that I'll never see him again.
I let myself cry once more, knowing I can cry like a baby in my room and not care who is there to judge me. Finally prying myself up, I shuffle to the shower, turn the knob to the hottest setting it has, strip my night clothes off, steam already taking over the bathroom.
I don't let myself cry while I'm in the shower today, I know I need to try to go more than five minutes without crying. But how am I supposed to be happy when everything around me reminds me of him, and every single happy memory I have involves him too?
Luckily Finn stayed behind to drive me to the funeral home, knowing that I probably wasn't in the best shape to drive myself. I was happy that he knew I didn't really feel like talking, he just let me sit in the passenger seat, tears streaming down my silent face. Driving by the park where we got caught in the rain while sitting on the swings, kissing passionately, almost made me go hysterical. There isn't a thing in this town that doesn't remind me of him.
Lost in my grief, Finn taps my shoulder to tell me we have arrived, he startles me and I nearly jump through the roof. "Sorry." he pauses, he gently rests his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. "We'll all be inside." He withdraws his hand and leaves without another word.
People are all filing into the place where I have been to scared to think of. I see people that I recognize from Dalton, and McKinley. There are also some relatives that I'd seen pictures of in his house. All of them look to joyful to me. Why are they not sobbing? I watch as people walk into the building that I imagine to be a giant black hole, cursed and unforgivable. It's as if this is the place that took him from me forever.
Then it hits me. He's inside of there. This will be the last time I will see his beautiful face. The last time I'll see the boy who changed my life. A new wave of tears streak my face, and I don't care who sees me now. I lose track of how long I sit there, crying. And then I stop. My phone beeps. I have received a text from a blocked number. When I open it I see that it contains just one word. Courage. Somehow I pull myself out of the car, and walk into the place where I wish I'd never have to be.
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