The usual disclaimers apply.

This chapter gives us insight into a situation that existed during Sarek's pursuit of Amanda. It has been explored in length in other stories, but Sarek chooses this time to reveal this matter to his son.

Botsey

When You Wish Upon A Star

Chapter Twelve

Beyond Understanding…

After class was over several students had approached Spock at the front of the classroom to make a comment or asks advice from their instructor. After they had been dispersed, Nyota followed Spock back to his office and by his gesture he indicated that she should be seated.

He stood in front of his desk with his hands clasped in front of him.

"Nyota, again Captain Pike has made demands on my time, and I in turn am going to make the same request of much of your free hours. If I could have processed this information on my own, I would not have infringed on your already limited free time. What I am unable to supply to the development of this program is the expected Terran emotional reactions to certain stimuli. My interpretation of these will allow me to create a special program for Star Fleet. My inability to express such responses makes your interaction with me primary to the completion of this assignment. I am afraid that I will probably need to have many sessions with you. Is that agreeable?"

"Spock, anything I can do to help you is perfectly alright. When do you want me to start?"

"I will need the preliminaries before the Board within thirty days. This coming month might mean long nights, would it be acceptable to you if we did some of this work inside my living quarters? I believe it would be more comfortable seating and would allow for periods of relaxation and refreshment."

"Sir, that is suitable."

"Perhaps we could walk over to the Computer Lab and examine the setup there. Some of our actual input will probably require the use of this area during the time it is not in use."

Nyota picked up her bag and he followed behind her as they walked toward the door. He observed the seductive swing of her hair as he admired her form and grace.. He would make sure that the door always remained open when he was with her. He realized he had thrown all caution to the wind by the moves he had made and was about to make. He wondered if there were any similarities that played out in his father's courtship of his mother.

The Computer Lab was unoccupied, Spock used his passkey to open the door. He fully understood that they would be alone, totally alone. so he propped the door open and turned on the lights.

Captain Pike had issued the order for a dedicated machine to be made available for his use. He located it in a far corner, isolated from the rest of the consoles. He entered his code and the machine sprang to life.

Nyota put down her bag, and brought one of the computer chairs over and placed it by his.

Immediately he sensed the danger of that close proximity, he requested,

"Nyota, would you place your chair so that you are facing me. The program is highly sensitive and I only wish to document your reactions so I will need to view your face and then note changes, to your voice, facial expression and body language.

She moved her chair and he raised his eyes from the keyboard to take in the view. He strengthened his shields and started his input.

"Cadet, what is your view of death?"

"I believe it is the end of life, the opposite of life and it is inevitable."

He observed her face, she had paused, looked about the room and after a sigh had made her statement.

She then continued, "I have had very little experience in this area. My family has longevity in their DNA.

All of my great-parents are alive and active. They all live independently. Besides accidents, there does not seem to be a foreseeable death in our immediate future.

Questions asked included, "What is a Captain's responsibility in the face of possible destruction of his ship? Would it be proper to deny the seriousness of a situation? How does training at Star Fleet prepare its graduates for any situation? These questions propounded were not prepared by Captain Pike, but were of Spock's creation. He listened and watched intently to note facial, and body changes and how these could be interpreted. Was there any fear expressed at all. Noting that there was not, Spock would have to acknowledge that Nyota should be part of the Command Track during her second year.

By the time they had finished the first session, it was quite late. As Spock started shutting down the lab he made this request,

"Nyota, if it is agreeable, could we stop and have an 'end day meal?'

"That would be most agreeable, Spockh."

`0`0`0`0`0`0`

The events being played out in his life required Spock to make a call to Vulcan, actually to his father's office.

"Father, I have a query."

"Speak My Son."

"What was it that first attracted you to mother. All would have to acknowledge her beauty, but that quality can fade or be lost because of unforeseen occurrences. Logic would detect a more lasting quality to attach oneself to."

"Spockh, are you making veiled references to Cadet Nyota?"

"Father, you were not deceived and that was not my purpose. I find myself so conflicted. Outside of her presence I find my thoughts turning to her constantly. When I am with her it is like a balm to me, a comfort, a calm. I know that time must pass, I realize I cannot infringe on her right to choose her path, but I am so much in fear of loosing her. Did the thought of such a loss ever cloud your vision after you had found Mother?"

"Spockh, I will make these things known to you to allow you to understand two old Terran thoughts your mother told me, 'love means never having to say you are sorry and second, the road to true love can be very difficult, with many problems in its path.

"Your mother and I met under very trying circumstances. While I admired her intellect, I very much disliked her attitude. Unfortunately, she felt the same way about me. Her mental alacrity challenged me. Eventually I was at the same state you described, never outside her influence. Her image was constantly in my mind. Under some circumstances what we two have experienced would be coupled with Shon'ha-lock (Love at first sight). But that has not been the case with either one of us-what we have experienced was a growing attachment, an evolution of powerful involuntary emotions.

"Because you are a Vulcan/Human hybrid, I am more apt understand yours. But even after all these years with you mother, I still have not been able to fully comprehend mine, I find it beyond the realm of understanding or comprehension. But, be assured, my need for her became and continues to be overwhelming.

"I challenged all to deny her to me, The High Council, your grandmother, your uncle and my advisors all tried. There was even talk of sending me to a healer, for they doubted my mental stability. I allowed them this one concession. I would wait six months. My son, it did not go away. Time did not lessen the attachment, but increased it. The Council had me traveling and meeting persons of all rank at many locations. Some assignments were diplomatic, others having to do with commerce. They even placed me in situations involving Vulcan females. But always shimmering in my mind was Amanda's face. She was aware that I would be absent, but I had not informed her of the Council's real intent.

"At the end of six months away from your mother I dared anyone, human or Vulcan to refuse my bonding with her. I had mentally claimed her and now would physically do so.

"What I have experienced should help you see in the case of yeht ashau (true love) time does not lessen the attachment but strengthens it.

"I have observed this young female Terran, and there is no doubt of her physical beauty. Her intellect I am sure challenges you. These feelings developed when, physically, she was unknown to you and have increased many fold since your true acquaintance. She is probably not aware of certain workings inside her.

Be assured My Son, your mental claim on her has affected her, she just does not know what it is all about, she is still quite young.

Let her grow, let your attachment grow, do not try to hurry it because you want its roots to be powerfully strong, to last forever.

Need I say you have my blessing?"

"Thank you, My Father.