I felt a shock run over me, how could this happen? I didn't even know the doctor had the right to tell people of such personal details, I mean my immediate family maybe but my cousins? I felt like being sick. What must Ruka think of me now? She was one of the people that I didn't want to find out the most.
"It's ok Akatsuki, I want to help you" Ruka stated, attempting to bring peace to my mind, but it's not going to help. Crazy thought and possibilities were running through my head now, Crazy conclusions that are going to leave me nothing but distress.
"Does anyone else no?" I manage to say
"No, just Aido and I were told"
"Good, keep it that way"
"Are you ok?"
"Fine" I answer abruptly, I don't need any more humiliation as to admit that I'm not fine. I've lost enough pride.
"Fine, really?" Ruka asked, obviously not believing me. "Well will you at least tell me who did it?"
"The doctor couldn't tell you that too?" I asked meanly
"He said you must have had a bath or shower, there was no DNA left, however that was obvious considering you were soaking wet and in Takuma's Bath robe, which I wanted to ask you about, why were you in Takuma's shower?"
"Aido had taken ours" I say quickly
"That's not the way Takuma tells it"
"Well then he is wrong"
"Will you just tell me who did it?" Ruka pleads "or at least something, you can trust me"
"No"
That's just it, I don't know who I can trust anymore, not after what happened.
"Akatsuki I know this sucks, it really does, but you have to stop being so childish, you need to talk about it, you can't just keep it bottled up, it will destroy you" Exclaimed Ruka
At this moment I wanted to tell her, I wanted to tell her everything, but I can't. To admit to her what happened I would need to admit it to myself. Tell myself that two people that I called my friends raped me, that I can't trust them, that they broke my body, broke me… And I have to go back to that place and face them, knowing what they did to me. I just can't do that; I just can't handle that just yet. Maybe I can go on pretending that nothing happened, just for a while, until I'm ready. Is that too much to ask?
I start walking again ignoring Ruka who is clearly upset that I ignored her. She doesn't know how it feels, she knows nothing. As much as she would like to she could never truly understand what it feels like to be where I am. I eventually make it to the opening and jog up to the moon dorm entrance. I need to be quick because there are usually day class girls sneaking around at night and the last thing I need right now it to bump in to them. I look around for Ruka, however I can't see her. I must have been walking too fast.
Pushing the door to the moon dorm open slowly, I noticed that the inner group was in the lounge room. Rima and Shiki were sitting on the couch with Takuma sitting on the arm rest, Aido was sitting on a lounge chair and Kaname was approaching the other one. Everyone's eyes turned to me as I walked inside. I felt Aido's gaze burning in to me, and I just looked down trying to avoid it. Everyone was extremely quiet, making the situation much more awkward than necessary.
The silence was broken when Takuma broke in to a smile and run up to me.
"Akatsuki, how are you?"
He embraced me in a deep hug, crushing my injured body against him, I was careful not to wince in front of people this time, I held my breath as I pushed Takuma back.
"Personal space thanks"
"Right, sorry" Takuma said, backing away a bit.
"I'm glad you could make it Akatsuki" Kaname spoke out "We were just about to discuss what we would like to do for the long weekend"
Oh of course, I forgot it was a long weekend, I guess it means more time to be away from class and the more the better.
"Well my holiday house is open, the one near the beach." Takuma noted
"Excellent, that will do just fine. Are there any complaints?" Kaname asked, looking around at everyone, although his eyes did seem to linger over me for a bit longer than everyone else. "Alright, everyone start packing, we leave tomorrow."
Everyone gets up and makes a move to the door. I guess getting away would be a good idea, but I really don't want to be in a holiday house with Senri and Hanabusa for the whole weekend, in-fact now I think about it, I don't think I want to be with anyone this weekend. I guess I have stupid ways of coping with things…
"Actually, I don't think I will be coming this weekend…" I point out softly.
"No you can't stay here by yourself!" Takuma pointed out "You have to come with us, come on, it will be fun"
"No I don't really want…"
"Is there a reason you can't come?" Takuma looks at me thoughtfully
"Yes Akatsuki, is there a reason?"
I look up to see Aido leaning on the stair case looking down at me with a smirk on his face, saying 'Tell them I dare you'. I take a deep breath in, I can't let them know that something is wrong, and I guess I either get asked questions when I'm there or I get asked them when they come back, Either way I have to tell them something, and I guess that going to the holiday house as though everything is normal will eliminate suspicion.
"No, not really, I guess I can come"
"Yay, the whole group will be together, it will be lovely! Speaking of the whole group where is Ruka, we must inform her of the plans" Takuma noted with a big smile casted across his face.
Just as he finished speaking Ruka walked through the front door, accompanied by Zero.
"Zero, how nice of you to drop by" Kaname said, with a hidden smirk under his stone expression "What brings you here?"
"I found one of your stupid vampires walking around the woods, I'm sure you will apply appropriate punishment right?" Zero spat.
"Of course, I will be sure to do so" Kaname said in almost a mocking term
Zero grunted in response about to say something else then he just walked out the door slamming it behind him. Ruka immediately walked over to Kaname and gave a small courtesy bow.
"I am terribly sorry Kaname, I was searching for Akatsuki and I got lost"
"I'm sure, well I will let you off this time due to the fact that you have a legitimate reason however you must remember to stay within our dorm area or I will be not quite so easy going next time understood?"
"Yes Kaname-sama, thank you" Ruka bowed down again and walked off towards the stairs looking me in the eyes with a mixture of annoyance and pity. I don't want her pity, I can handle myself.
"Akatsuki, considering your disappearance is the reason, I will let you off with a warning as well, and usually I would be harsher but in light of the circumstances…"
"In light of the circumstances? What circumstances?" I asked a bit more panicky than I would have liked.
"Never mind, I have more important things to attend to. You need to go and pack, and get some rest." And with that Kaname was out of sight. I sighed and took off to my room, taking my time up the stairs. I considered going out for another walk, avoiding going in to my room to find Hanabusa, but I do need to pack, and I'm still half asleep from the last time I dozed off, so I guess going in and ignoring him it is…
I knock on the door; I hear a shuffling and things knocking over before the door is pulled open to reveal Aido, clearly in frenzy from trying to find his things from the random junk spilled across the floor.
"Ah Akatsuki, I have been expecting you" He says smugly
"Doesn't look like it" I mutter while pushing past him. I walk over to my side of the room, noting how obviously different our ideas of 'neat' were, with half the room littered with random objects and my half has everything in their place. I pull a dark red suitcase out from under my bed and start piling clothes and toiletries in, ignoring the annoyed cries coming from Aido as he struggles to find anything in that mess.
Eventually I am finished packing and Aido has given up trying. I let my eyes drift close as I lay on my bed, but no matter what I can't fall asleep knowing Aido was right next to me. I feel chills run up my spine, as I turn over to find Aido dressed in his Pyjamas, sitting on his bed and staring at me, emotionless. I would have expected a smirk or maybe some form of taunting, but he was just sitting there, staring at me.
"What?" I ask harshly. In any other situation, under other circumstances it would have been rude of me, but in this situation he deserves worse than that. He deserves to be punished, as does Senri, but that would involve me telling someone, which I can't do.
"I'm just thinking" Aido said, his eyes not wavering
"Well can you think looking away from me?"
"No, you see I am thinking about you, which involves me looking at you" Aido said cocking his head to the side, eyes burning in to me. I hate it, it's unsettling.
"You haven't told anyone" Aido said "As I expected, however Ruka does now know"
"Why are you scared someone will find out?"
"No, I don't think that will happen, you see you and I are similar…"
"Similar?" I exclaim "There is nothing similar about us, you're nothing like me, I would never do to someone what you have done to me."
Aido chuckles "So I have affected you quite deeply I see. However that is not what I am talking about, you and I are similar in the sense that we both have overwhelming senses of pride. You will not talk, because that will injure it further am I correct?"
"Leave me alone Aido" I mutter, what he said has infuriated me. He doesn't even care what he has done. I wouldn't have expected him to care that much I guess but he is at the point where he laughs at my pain. I just don't understand this, nothing makes sense. I want everything to go back to normal; I wish none of this ever happened.
I turn over on my side and ignore him again. I hear shuffling of sheets behind me and walking. I sit up just as Aido reaches my bed. I backed against the headboard, instantly regretting it when I see the glint of amusement in Aido's eyes.
"What do you want?" I ask staring in to his glassy blue eyes.
"Nothing I'm just…" He pushes a loose strand of my hair behind my ear, making me flinch. "Testing something" He leans forward and brushing his lips against mine.
"No" I scream, backing away so far that I manage to fall off the bed, landing on my arm in an awkward position. I pick myself off the ground rubbing my arm and backing until I hit a wall. My eyes a wide and as much as I hate to admit it, watering as though I'm about to cry.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I cry out, my voice cracking under the pressure. Aido smirks and crawls off my bed
"Sleep well Akatsuki" Aido say's and with that he turns the light off and goes to bed. I try to calm my nerves but it doesn't seem to be working. I look at the clock; it's about 5 hours until we are expected to be up. I grab my blanket and pillow and make my way to the arm chair in our study. I'm not that much further away from Aido but it makes me feel a bit better. I close my eyes and drift to sleep.