Disclaimer : SM owns Edward & Twilight, not me (sadly!)

20th June 2010

As I lay in bed the very early hours of the morning of my birthday, I still hadn't been able to sleep. My brain wouldn't shut off as I replayed again and again her presence, her words and her… eyes. Nothing could have prepared me to look into her eyes again. They say eyes are the window to the soul. When I looked at hers after ten long years, she looked as lost as I did.

Which came back to the question I'd been asking myself all night; do I want to see her again? Fuck! Does she want to see me again? Was she here for a visit? Seeing her last night, for the first time in ten years, I couldn't even process my feelings. It was like every emotion she made me feel over that time was just brimming at the surface, ready to overwhelm me once again. But I was a different person now so with a lot of self discipline, my emotions stayed just under the surface. Hence the no-sleeping state.

Looking across my room to the dresser drawers where I hid the envelope she… Bee had given me. Could I open it? I knew the answer but it worried me. I had to open it. I couldn't remember the last time I want to do something so bad it hurt. But there was no way I could open that envelope without some time beforehand to prepare for the hurt that could, would come with reading it. It was my only link to her. I had to read it when I was completely alone.

I moved slightly to turn and face Tanya who was sleeping sounding by my side. I know I needed to tell her about my history with Bee but I just wasn't ready yet. Turning to stare at the ceiling, again, I closed my eyes. Dark, rich chocolate eyes. I opened my eyes quickly again after a sharp intake of breath. Tanya stirred a little next to me so before I could disturb her anymore, I quietly got up and headed for our couch.

A few hours later, I was woken by the sound of water running in the kitchen and the sun glaring through the window. I opened my eyes and was immediately in pain, stupid fucking uncomfortable couch.

I sat up slowly rubbing the back of my neck. It was tired and sore and oh it was my birthday, great another year older.

"Morning birthday boy."

I slowly turned to look towards the kitchen doorway to see Tanya casually leaning against it in a small green baby doll nightie. She looked hot.

But I groaned; I really wasn't in the mood to be playful.

"Hey."

Tanya walked towards me and stood in front of me. Still with my hand on the back of my neck, I tried to look up at her but my neck and back protested as a sharp shooting pain took my breath again.

"Fucking hell! Bastard neck!"

"Oh Edward. Why were you on the couch anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep."

I'm sure Tanya would have rolled her eyes at me if I could actually see her face.

"You'll have to have your second present first then and your best present later."

Tanya shoved a box in front of my face, wrapped in gold paper. Taking it from her, I tried to straighten up again. After a few more 'fucking hells', I managed to sit rigidly with my back and neck resting against the couch. I took the paper off to reveal my birthday present, a watch.

"I couldn't think of what to get you this year and then I realised you never wear a watch so here. It's an Omega"

I hesitated as I took the watch from the box. It was heavy. I automatically looked at the back plate. Nothing.

"It's great babe. Thank you." I smiled at her. She smiled back and leaned in for a kiss. I followed her lead but before our lips touched, the shooting pains began again.

"Fucking shit!"

Tanya huffed and straightened up.

"Your coffee's in the kitchen. I'm going to get a shower and get ready."

"Hmmm." I replied while trying desperately to rub the pain away in my neck and shoulders.

The shower helped loosen the stiff muscles in my neck and back. Once we were both ready, we drove to my parent's house. As I approached the house, yesterday's encounter was brought back to the front of my mind. I wonder what she's doing right now.

"Edward? You coming in or are you going to sit daydreaming in the car all day?" I shook my head slowly to bring me back.

"Yes"

As we walked in the house, my mom rushed to greet us as she grabbed me and squeezed hard.

"Happy birthday honey! I can't believe my baby is twenty seven today!"

"Thanks Mom. Oh don't cry." I hated seeing Mom cry; I always had.

"I'm okay, I'm okay" she repeated as she got herself together and gave me a sad smile.

My dad joined then so I got more 'happy birthday' wishes before being ushered into the living room to be join Emmett, Rose and Benjamin.

Benjamin was sat on the floor playing with some toys. As soon as I saw him, I bent over to grab him and give him a big hug. I didn't spend as much time with him as I would like. He squealed in delight at seeing his favourite uncle and hugged me back in his own little way which meant I got hit over the head with his little fist.

"Hey little man! It's your Uncle E's birthday. I want some cuddles... and some tickles."

As I tickled his little side, he laughed so hard he almost threw himself out of my arms.

"Hey, be careful little man" I chuckled. Tanya caught my eye; she was on the phone in the corner of the room rolling her eyes at the affection I was showing. Tanya always thought I was a little over the top with Benjamin but I didn't get to see him as much as I liked. So when I got to spend some time with him, I loved every second.

Putting Benjamin back down on the floor, I continued the tickling until Rose piped up.

"Okay Edward, I don't want his dinner coming back. He only had it half an hour ago."

"Sorry Rose. Em." I nodded in their direction and gave a last tickle to his feet.

"Mom mom mom mom" Benjamin said as he looked at Rose holding his little arms out for him to be picked up again. Rose grabbed him and perched him on her knee.

"Happy birthday bro" Emmett moved to stand next to me and slapped me on the back, "You're getting old"

I snorted, "Twenty seven is not old, I'm in my prime" I puff out my chest to make a point. Tanya rolled her eyes at me for a second time as Emmett laughed out loud.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that" he playfully elbowed me in the ribs and winked.

"Okay, okay"

We continued to chat and soon enough, Alice and Jasper's wedding the day before was brought up. Tanya had moved to stand in the kitchen as she was still on the phone. And it was starting to get on my nerves.

"It was a beautiful day" Rose sighed. "I was hoping it would give your brother the hint … but no" she laughed.

"You love me baby. We don't need a piece of paper to confirm it." Emmett then looked at me, "Er sorry man, I didn't mean … that you and Tanya..."

I stopped him before he could say anymore, "Don't worry Em. I know what you mean." I glanced towards the kitchen where Tanya was, yeah still on the phone.

Everyone continued to chat about the wedding. Staring out of the window, I could see a few clouds in the sky; it was a lovely warm summer's day. I closed my eyes briefly. Yesterday and Bee immediately sprang to the forefront of my mind. She was starting to invade my thoughts again but this time it was different. The pain wasn't as vivid as it had been in the past. I wondered why this was. Maybe because I knew she was okay. After she left, I had no idea where she was and her safety had always been important to me. I focused back on the conversation and from the corner of my eye, I saw my mom looking at me with a puzzled expression. I gave her a little smile to let her know I was okay which she returned.

Tanya joined us then after being on the phone for almost an hour. She had a huge smile on her face so I knew the call was work related.

Later that night at home, Tanya told me about her exciting phone call. New York magazine had been shown the piece about Tanya in the Seattle Times a few months back. They had requested the opportunity to talk with her as soon as possible so Tanya had already booked herself on a flight. She was flying out to New York on Tuesday and she would be there a week.

"But that means you're going to miss my dad's twenty one year anniversary for the fundraiser. You know how important that is to me and my family."

"I'm sorry Edward, I am but I can't miss this opportunity. There's a real chance I could get offered a job, at New York Magazine!"

I could hear the excitement in her voice so I accepted the situation. This was obliviously important to her too. But all my family would be at the fundraiser including Alice and Jasper who had postponed the start of their honeymoon. I felt disappointed I would be there on my own.

22nd June 2010

I took Tanya to the airport early Tuesday morning as her flight was at 5am. Lucky for me I was on vacation from work this week. After she promised to call me once she arrived safely, I waved Tanya off.

Arriving back at the house, I sat on my bed staring holes in my top dresser drawer. Bella's envelope was still nestled in the drawer where I had placed it on Saturday night.

Before I could change my mind, I got the envelope and sat back down. My finger hovered over the writing of my name on the front. I took a deep breath and carefully opened it. My fingers slid inside and pulled out a card; a birthday card. Looking at the front I smiled. A genuine smile. It was a simple design, pale blue background, Happy Birthday written in the middle with two dandelions. Not yellow ones but when they are full of seeds. Dandelions, she remembers.

I shook my head trying not to get carried away. As I opened the card, a folded piece of paper fell on my lap. Frowning, I picked it up and placed it next to me. Inside the card was Bella's unmistakable handwriting, I still recognised it now.

Happy birthday Edward. I know this card won't make up for the last ten I've missed but I'm hoping you'll give me a chance to explain.

And I wanted to give you the letter I've enclosed. I've wanted to give you this for such a long time.

I'm hoping, no praying you'll give me that chance. Please.

Bee x

Her cell number was written at the bottom. I read it and reread it. The words started to get blurry as the tears in my eye clouded my vision. As they slowly ran down my cheeks I could see better. My eyes found the letter next to me, I've wanted to give you this for such a long time. Fresh tears started to come and I knew I wasn't ready to read the letter so soon after reading the card.

I shoved the letter back in the envelope then back in my drawer. I kept the card, placing it on my bedside table. I got back in bed and stared at those dandelions until I drifted back to sleep.

24th June 2010

I paced the house from top to bottom. I couldn't stay still. I'd been thinking about doing this for the past couple of days but now the time was right and here; I was struggling. Struggling with the inner turmoil that threatened to tear me in two. Could I take bad news? Did I want good news? What the hell did I want from this? An explanation? So many questions had been left unanswered for ten years.

I marched back into my room and roughly pulled the letter out of the top drawer. Moving my socks so I could pick up the letter that had filled every waking thought I had had since the day it was given to me. Sitting on my bed, with shaking fingers, it was time.

It was time to open Bella's letter. Taking one last glance at the birthday card, I unfolded the letter and gasped where I saw the date written in Bella's handwriting at the top right, 9th July 1999; I've wanted to give you this for such a long time.

My Edward,

I've got to write this letter before I go mad. Or maybe I've already gone mad, I'm not sure anymore. It's been nineteen days since I last saw you and it feels like eternity. I miss you so much; it's killing me. I've tried to leave; sneak out to come get you but dad is watching me 24/7.

He won't tell me why we had to left, just that we did and we had to do it fast. He says we're in danger, something about a case he's been working on for some time now.

Edward, I'm scared. Scared that you're not with me. Scared I'll never see you again. I keep begging dad to let me call you but he says I can't. We can't risk you and your family getting involved. So this is the reason why I now know I have to stay away, for your safety. If anything was to happen to you or your family because of me, I would never forgive myself.

So I'm writing this letter in the hope I'll be able to give it to you someday real soon. I love you Edward. Please don't ever forget that. It's always been you.

Sending you all my love, always and forever,

Your Bumble Bee x

Like the card, I read those words written by the sixteen year old Bella who I knew and loved over and over. I felt good. Good to know that Bella didn't leave because she wanted to; though deep down inside I had always known it was about Charlie, not Bella. It was this that pissed me off. If they had to leave because of Charlie's work, why couldn't he at least let dad know they were okay instead of just disappearing like they were never here.

I shook my head. I re-read the last line, 'It's always been you." I stood up and made my way to my closet. I found what I was looking for instantly. A small white shoe box of memories; memories I had been running from for ten years. Opening the lid, I took out the blue Timex box and opened it. Inside laid a broken watch. I carefully turned it over to read the inscription, "It's always been you. Love, your Bumble Bee". I looked down at my wrist at my new watch; the one Tanya had given me only days ago. Looking between the two, my wrist and my heart felt heavy.

I still had so many unanswered questions but I was proud of myself that I was able to read both the card and letter Bella had given me as well as bringing my box of lost memories out too. I felt like a part of my life, that empty void still needed to be closed fully before I could truly move on. I glanced back at the card knowing Bella's cell phone number was written there. I may have memorised it; yes I had read that number many times over the past couple of days. With Tanya away and not being at work, I found I had a lot of time to read that card and wonder. I wondered how long Bella was back and when I would next see her, but I suppose that last part was up to me.

26th June 2010

After having a whole week off work filled with doing literally nothing, I didn't think I was prepared for orders getting barked at me by my mom and big sister. There had me fetching, carrying, climbing up and down ladders, sorting tables, you name it I did it.

It the twenty first anniversary of my dad's annual fundraiser. Twenty-one years, wow! I took a moment to just look at my dad, clipboard in hand as he was ticking off the volunteers as they arrived. This event had definitely grown from the first one. I chuckled to myself as my eye wandered to the playground at the other side of the park.

"Edward! Come on! You need to put that over there... oh for God's sake, I'll do it." I felt the box I was holding leave me as I looked at a very annoyed Alice glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes, "I had it Shorty. So bloody impatient!"

"Well you looked like you were daydreaming and I have no time for that. The fundraiser will be opening in twenty minutes and we have loads still to do!"

I placed both my hands on Alice's tiny shoulders, "Shorty, relax. Everything will turn out great."

Alice just rolled her eyes at my laid back attitude and continued on her way. I smiled at her retreating form as my eyes once again found their way to the playground. I took a deep breath as I wandered over there. Each year until now I had avoided the playground but it was almost like I was being pulled towards it now. When I got close enough to see if anyone was there, I could see that it was empty apart from one lone figure sat on the edge of the sandbox; too big to be a child.

As I got closer, I could see the person was a woman. A woman with long brown hair that was tied back in a ponytail. My feet kept carrying me toward my destination as I felt the pull get even stronger. The woman had her head down but I knew who it was. There was no mistaking her small frame, the cream pale skin of her long legs in shorts that were inside the sandbox, her shoes to the side of her as she wiggled her toes in the sand. I stopped short suddenly terrified that I might blink and she would be gone again. Shoving my hands in my pockets to stop me from reaching out to touch her to ensure she was here, I saw her tense for a moment. She became very still, and then she raised her head to look at me. We just looked at each other for a long moment before she spoke.

"Hey"

"Hey" I replied automatically.

Her eyes widen as if she was shocked I had spoken to her. Then I realised that at the wedding, I didn't say anything. 'Hey' was the first word I'd spoken to her in ten years. That made a smile a little. Bella's face relaxed in a small smile too as she dropped her head again to look at her toes under the sand.

I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet not sure what I should do next. I feel like a sixteen year old again. As soon as that thought entered my head, I couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped me. Bella looked up at me again as her smile got a little bigger too.

"You wanna sit?"

"Yeah?" Wow two words now Cullen, man up!

"You opened the envelope?"

"Yeah" I shook my head, what's with the one word answers!

"Edward, are you going to sit down? You don't have to." Her words become no more than a whisper, "I'll understand if you don't want to."

"I'll sit." I hesitated a little before sitting next to her, mimicking her pose.

Bella raised her head to stare over at the fundraiser's activity.

"I've missed this."

I followed her stare to see tables of food, raffles, games, balloons, bouncy castles, even a small children's fun fair was here. I didn't reply; I just gave a slight nod.

"Edward, I..." I looked at her to see her looking at me, an intense look that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Edward I need… no I owe you an explanation… but only if you want it, which I hope you do." She took another deep breathe.

"I need you to know… well… oh this isn't how I wanted to say this." She sighed. "It's all coming out wrong."

I swallowed thickly "Bee..." God it feels good to say her name, out loud.

"Bee. I think I need some more time but I hear… you know." I feared the answer to my next question but I needed to know how much time I really had.

"How long are you in town?"

Bella's eyes looked down at her toes "Oh, I… well I'm back. I moved back to Seattle in April."

The only words I heard were 'I'm back' as I struggled to stay calm and in control. I knew I couldn't get my hopes up. After a couple of deep breathes, I recovered. I didn't think she saw my struggle. I needed confirmation.

"You're back? For how long?"

Bella lifted her head again to look me in the eye as she spoke slowly and carefully.

"Edward. I know it must be a shock for me to just show up, twice in seven days and I know it'll be hard for you, me being here after all this time but I'm here for good. If you don't want to see me, I'll understand." It was Bella's turn to swallow thickly.

"But Edward, I would really like to explain to you, well explain everything that I know anyway. And who knows, we may be able to build our… friendship again. I would love to show you can trust me again. I know you have a great life now, being a doctor ..." she gave me a little smile as she sighed.

"Doctor Edward Cullen. It has a nice ring to it. I always knew you'd do it." she confirmed with a nod, her face becoming serious again. An unknown emotion flicked across her face but was soon gone again.

"So what you think? I know now's probably not the best time ..."

"You can say that again!"

Both Bella and I looked up in shock to see Alice stood in front of us with her hands on her hips, staring at Bella as she continued.

"Bella? What the hell? Why? Where? When?..."

It was the first time I've seen Alice literally lost for words but it didn't last very long. The oblivious initial shook of seeing me sat with Bella wore off and I knew where this was going. I knew that look in Alice's eyes all too well; protective big sister was here.

"How dare you just show up here of all places … after ten years of nothing!"

"Shorty, I've got this. It's okay."

"Okay? Okay? It's not fucking okay Edward. If you haven't noticed, the girl who broke your heart ten years ago in sat right next to you!"

We both flinched at Alice's harsh but true words.

"Alice please! Just let me deal with the situation myself. Please!" I answered after rubbing my forehead with my hand.

Alice looked between the two of us before rolling her eyes and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Okay but Bella, if you hurt my brother again it any way… and I mean ANY WAY, you'll have me to answer to." Without giving Bella a chance to respond, Alice turned on her heel and walked back towards everyone.

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Bee." I whispered in her direction.

Bella shook her head too as she looked at me, sadness filled her eyes.

"No need to apologise Edward. Alice is right. I shouldn't have come today. This day is special for you, your dad and your family." She continued in a whisper as she looked down at her toes again, "I shouldn't be here."

I turned my body to face her.

"Bee. Look at me."

She shook her head, still looking down.

"Bee. Please look at me." As she shook her head again, I sighed. I want to reach out and touch her face so she would look at me but I wasn't ready for that yet.

"Still so stubborn I see. Some things never change." That rewarded me to see a small smile on Bella's sad face as she slowly raised her head to look at me.

I glanced quickly over to the fundraiser to see that people had started to gather for my dad's opening speech. I had to go. Disappointment washed over me.

"Bee. I think we need to talk if… if you are serious about us being friends again."

"Edward. I've never been more serious." And her eyes confirmed to me that she spoke the truth.

"You have your cell?"

"Yeah" She reached into her short's pocket and retrieved it. I did the same with my own cell as I scrolled down to her name in my phonebook that I had programmed in just this morning and press call.

I let her cell ring a couple of times before hanging up.

"That's my cell number. I'll text you when I'm ready to meet up and talk, okay?"

She nodded, gripping onto her cell tightly.

"I hope its soon." she whispered.

"So do I."

So Bella's back – YAY! So what do you think of this chapter? Love it? Hate it? Let me know by using the review button below.

Just a couple of things; A huge thank you to my beta, friend and quite honestly awesome person, SweetLovinCullen :)

Also I'm currently writing a one-shot for the Fandoms Fight the Floods appeal. It's a minimum $5 donation to get your hands on the fan fiction compilation. For more info, please visit their site: www . fandomsfightthefloods . blogspot . com. Please support this cause.

So until next time (hopefully in 2 weeks) ….