Disclaimer : SM owns Edward & Twilight, not me (sadly!)
27th June 2010
I sat on my Mom and Dad's couch nervously playing with the television remote in my hand. I had come over to have a final family meal with everyone before Alice and Jasper where going on their honeymoon to London. I really needed to talk to Alice about Bella before she jetted off.
I heard the front door open as I eagerly looked in that direction. Sure enough, Alice and Jasper walked in the house with smiles as they walked into the living room. As soon as my eye caught Alice's, she scowled.
"Shorty? Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone."
Jasper had a confused look on his face as he exchanged glances between the two of us, obliviously feeling the tension in the room.
"I'll give you a minute"
Jasper kissed Alice on the cheek then turned to go join my mom and dad outside. Alice watched him leave the house before turning back to me.
"So?"
"Did you tell anyone?" I whispered as I kept watch on the door.
"What do you think, Edward?" she whispered back. I could hear the tension in her voice. "Of course I didn't! I don't want to be the one to deliver that news to Mom. She'll be worried and on edge again!"
I looked her in the eye and saw the truth.
"Yeah I need to be the one that tells her … but not yet. I need to get my own head around the situation first." I thought of how Mom would react and I could only imagine tears and worry. Alice's next question caught me off guard.
"What about Tanya? You gonna tell her?"
Frowning, I thought about this for a moment.
"No. Not yet."
"Edward. As much as I... as much as Tanya and I don't see eye to eye, I think you need to tell her. You and Bella have so much history."
I sighed.
"Shorty, Tanya doesn't even know Bee exists." I said with a shrug. "I've never talked to her in detail about my childhood."
Alice looked a little sad as she slowly shook her head.
"Well, you'll need to tell her soon. I have a feeling you'll be spending a lot of time with Bella in the immediate future. How long is she in town?"
A hint of a smile played on my lips as I replied. "She's moved back. She's been here since April."
Alice was shaking her head again, "And she chose the fundraiser to show herself again? She had two months!"
"Well, no." Do I tell her? I struggled with the inner turmoil. Alice raised one eyebrow.
"No? You did see her before?"
I bit my lip and nodded. My actions immediately reminded me of Bella. Again I couldn't help the corner of my mouth turning up. Alice's initial look of confusion suddenly turned to anger as I could see the cogs turning inside her head.
"Oh no! No, no, no! Please tell me she wasn't at my wedding! Tanya was prattling on about the fact you seemed distracted after seeing an old friend that night. Oh Edward, why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew you'd have this reaction Alice!" My reply sounded more aggressive than I wanted it to. I let out a long breath. I didn't want to fight with my big sister especially as she was about to leave for three weeks, the three weeks I would probably need her most.
"Sorry I didn't mean to shout at you Shorty but I got this. I love the tough big sister act but I promise it's not needed. I can do this. I'm just going to talk to Bee and I'm hoping, over time, I can build my trust in her again so we can be friends."
Alice's eyes searched mine for a long minute before she spoke. "Okay. I'm sorry for going all protective on you but I have good reason to be wary and so should you. But I shouldn't have shouted at you either… or at Bella." She started to sound regretful.
"Can you tell her I said sorry. Tell her it was the shock of seeing her after all this time."
"Thank you Shorty. And I will."
"When are you going to see her again?" Alice whispered.
"I'm not sure. I need some time to process everything before we meet up. I need to be fully ready for whatever she's going to tell me. It ain't gonna be pretty I bet."
"Come here." Alice enveloped me in a warm hug which I returned with a sigh, picking her up so her toes were only just touching the floor.
"Thanks Shorty." I whispered in her ear and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
28th June 2010
I sat in my living room watching some television after my first shift back at the hospital. I wasn't too bad to go back after my week's vacation.
I jumped as my cell began to ring. Looking at the display, I saw Tanya's name. She'd called me a few times since she'd been away and as she was due back the next day, I expected this call was to arrange me meeting her in the airport the next day, but it wasn't.
"Hey Edward. I'm calling to let you know I'm stopping in New York until the weekend now. Irina, she's the New York magazine editor I've been working with over the last week? Well, she has some people coming from London she wants me to meet so I'm going stay until Saturday."
"Okay." I was surprised on how much this change to her schedule didn't piss me off. Probably cause I'm tired after going back to work.
We continued to talk for a while before we said our goodbyes. I scrolled to my calendar in my phone to check my shifts. I was working every day this week apart from Friday. What can I do to pass the time? My thoughts immediately drifted to Bella and our talk. It was oblivious my subconscious was screaming at me to call her.
2nd July 2010
I woke after my Thursday night shift in a really good mood which surprised the hell out of me after the night I'd had. I'd spent my night in ER at Cherry Hill. Thursday night's aren't usually bad in the ER but we had a three-car accident that was horrid.
After sorting myself a late breakfast, I sat on my couch and scrolled through my phone book on my cell. I'd talked myself into making contact with Bella today as I wasn't working and had no other distractions. I'd decided to text her instead of call.
Hi Bee it's Edward. I'm txt'ing u hoping we can meet up?
I received a response within a minute.
Hey Edward. So good to hear from u. Defo yes on meeting. When's best for u?
I paused with my fingers hovering over the keys. When would be the best time? Tanya would be back tomorrow. Did Bella work weekdays? I didn't know what she even does for a living.
Would a weekend be best for u? I'm not working til 8pm on Sunday if u want to meet before? Say 1pm?
Again, I received a quick response.
Sunday at 1 is great for me :) Where shall we meet? I'll be honest; I don't really wanna be in a crowd. Somewhere quiet?
I completely agreed with her. If we were going to have an honest heart to heart, I didn't want other people overhearing.
How about the park? The bench near the sandbox? And I promise Shorty won't show up all guns blazing lol
Bella's reply took a little longer this time.
Okay. That's fine. Sunday, 1pm, by our sandbox. See u there. Bee x
I smiled as I saw the words 'our sandbox'. I let my eyes close as I remembered the many times we had a kids there each year at my dad's fundraisers. I hoped we would be making some new happier memories near that little sandbox soon.
3rd July 2010
I walked in my home to a different smell that had been lingering over the past two weeks, perfume. Tanya was here. I placed my keys by the door as I proceeded through to my living room where she was perched on the end, filing her nails.
"Hey" I said softly.
"Hey back" she smiled.
"I've missed you" As soon as those words left my mouth, they didn't feel right. I had missed her but not in the way I thought I would. It was difficult to explain. And I immediately felt guilty even though I had don't nothing wrong.
She smiled again, a shy smile, "I've missed you too." This was new.
I sat on the couch next to her and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.
"So did you have a good time?" I placed my arm around her on the back on the couch. Tanya turned her body to face me.
"Oh Edward. It was amazing. Irina and I clicked straight away, like long lost sisters or something. And New York is fantastic..." She stared through the window with a smile still playing on her lips. She obliviously loved every minute of her trip.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself babe." I said as I cuddled her shoulder lightly. "Did you meet the people from London?"
"London? Oh yeah, they were great. I meet so many people over the two weeks. So what did you get up to while I was away?"
I struggled, "Work"
"Didn't you take the first week as vacation?"
"Oh yeah, I forgot. When I got back to work, it felt like I'd never been away." I knew I should have told Tanya about Bella when she asked about my vacation week but I couldn't. I promised myself I would tell her before the night was out.
4th July 2010
"I'm off out Edward. Going to work for a few hours to catch up."
I frowned as I looked from the couch at Tanya trying to find her keys in the kitchen.
"On a Sunday?"
"Yeah. Being away for two weeks will mean I have so much on. I wanna get on top of it." She giggled as she found her keys.
"Okay. Erm babe?"
"Yeah?" Tanya answered from the door.
"I'm going out in a bit too. I'm going to meet… an old friend."
Tanya was mostly out of the door when she replied with a quick okay.
I heard the door close loudly behind her. She seemed to be in a hurry to get to work. This didn't surprise me at all. She loved what she did and being away from it for so long will have meant she had a lot to do. And yeah, I once again managed to not really tell Tanya what I was doing.
I checked my watch to see it was 11.30am so I hopped into the shower, getting ready quickly in casual jeans, a black t-shirt and my leather jacket in my arms. I decided to walk to the park. It would take me thirty minutes but the fresh air and time to think would be good. I needed to mentally prepare myself with what Bella may or may not tell me today.
The sun beat down as I walked towards the park I had been to so many times. When I brought the house, I wanted it to be in walking distance so if I ever needed to escape for anything, I could. I took me a long time before the park felt like a safe haven, it was a place of nightmares and pain for a few years after Bella left but more recently, it's been a place of dreams. This made me smile as I entered the familiar gates at the end of the park. A few families scrolled along the grass but the playground was empty.
I glanced over to the playground where the bench in question was. Sat on the bench was a lone petite figure that I would recognise anywhere, Bee.
She had her back to me as I approached. Her long brown hair was blowing gently in the summer breeze by her shoulders. I could see she was wearing cropped jeans and a fitted green t shirt. She was looking down at her cell in her hands as I arrived.
"Hey" I spoke softly not wanting to scare her.
She turned her head slowly to look at me, smiling.
"Hey"
"Do you mind?" I nodded to the bench as she was sat in the middle.
A slight pink blush spread across her cheeks as she hurried to move to accommodate me.
"No, no please sit."
I sat to her left, near to her with around a foot gap between us. I heard her take a deep breath as she turned her body to face me. I mirrored her actions. She was playing with her fingers in her lap like the six year old Bella I once knew.
After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, Bella sighed.
"Edward? I'm not sure where to start. I... I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time and now it's here…"
"Bee..." I smiled as her childhood nickname still felt so right, "You don't need to tell me everything today if you want. I understand that this is as scary for you as it is me." My smiled faded. "I just want to… just…"
I struggled not to reach out to her as a wash of relief spread over me like quick sand. I placed my hands at either side of me on the bench. With my eyes on my own lap, my next comments were just a whisper in the breeze, so quiet "I'm so glad you're okay."
I looked up to see big brown eyes staring at me, one tear running down her cheek.
"I'm so sorry Edward." she whispered as her fingertips touched my right hand, still on the bench. She quickly realised what she had done and moved her hand to rest next to mine but now not touching. I immediately missed the warmth. My fingernails gripped the bench to stop my hand from moving. I wanted to wipe away her tears, to comfort her. The feeling was so strong it nearly won.
After a couple more minutes to compose myself I was about to speak but Bella started her story, her voice was quiet. I looked at her face in profile, she looked almost defeated.
"I'll never forget that night after I left you at your birthday party. I'd have such a good time even though Charlie had... interrupted making the evening shorter than it should have been. I remember him being in such a panic and not understanding why. I never got to go home that night. Charlie said he had a phone call to say Aunt Chloe had been taken into hospital and we needed to be with the family."
She turned her face towards mine and gave a sad smile as she continued.
"It wasn't 'til I woke up a couple of hours later that I realised we weren't going back to Folks. When I asked him, he said he would tell me when we arrived at our destination. He wouldn't tell me where we were going either. I didn't know what the hell was going on but Charlie insisted everything would be okay. He just kept saying it; over and over 'Everything will be okay'. We stopped for bathroom breaks and food but we had to travel for four days until we reached..."
I held my breath as I waited to hear where she had been all this time.
"...Anchorage."
"Anchorage? … as in Alaska? Canada?"
"Yeah."
"But another country…"
I was completely lost for words. As I continued to stare in her beautiful brown eyes, Wondering.
"Edward." she sucked in a deep breath. "Charlie was in a lot of shit. I mean, knee deep. He… he…"
Another silent tear ran down her cheek and this time I wasn't quick enough to stop my automatic reaction and want to comfort her. I reached out with my left hand holding her face while my thumb swept across her cheek to wipe away the traces of sadness.
Bella, shocked by my reaction to her sat upright, frozen to the spot for a couple of seconds before she relaxed a bit. But she didn't look completely comfortable with my hand holding her face gently so I let go.
"Sorry. I just..." I need to tell her. I need to be honest.
"I don't like to see you sad Bee."
Bella looked long into my eyes before replying, the smallest smile tugging at her lips.
"Silly Edward."
Two words. Those two words filled me with such happiness. Happiness that had long been forgotten.
We continued to shyly smile at each other before Bella continued her story, looking down at her feet.
"Charlie had rented a small place in the city. He told me after unpacking our things that it was a last minute decision; he needed to move us all safe. To keep me safe. To keep you and your family safe. I didn't believe him." She shook her head at the memories.
"He wouldn't give me any specific details. Why we were unsafe. I tried to run away in our first week but he never left me alone enough for me to get far. I wrote you that letter hoping I would be home soon."
She played with her fingers in her lap.
"But as you know, that never happened. After two weeks, I demanded to know what was going on. That's when he told me why. Why we couldn't go home. And I hated him for it."
Bella's words came in a rush like she needed to say it quick, to stop the pain. I was feeling that pain again.
"Charlie had been working on the case of James Johnson for months. He had murdered his stepson and was on the run. Charlie had been working flat out. I didn't realise at the time but all the hours he was working, he was trying to catch this James. The day of your birthday, Charlie had been sent an anonymous lead; he was in Tacoma so he went to take a look, off duty."
Bella swallowed hard as she continued.
"Charlie found him, in a local bar, called reinforcements but then tried to make the arrest on his own. And well… James had a knife..."
My shocked expression said it all.
"I know. It scared the shit out of me too when he told me. I'm glad that even though he wore plain clothes that day, he still wore a vest underneath his shirt. There was a scuffle; as Charlie wasn't technically on duty that day so he had his wallet on him."
I frowned as I struggled to understand why the wallet was important to the story. Bella saw I didn't understand so she explained.
"His wallet?"
I nodded.
"Charlie always had a picture of me in his wallet with his ID. He threatened my dad… with me. James took it and so he knew who he was and where we lived. He said he would take me away from him unless he let him walk free that day. He said he knew people who would do the job for him if he was locked up."
Bella voice was once again a whisper.
"Once back up arrived, it was too late. Charlie had made his decision. He chose to keep me safe instead of putting that … that man behind bars. Charlie left the force and ran away … to keep me safe"
"Did they catch up with him?"
"Yeah, three years ago..." She talked into her chest as she bent her knees, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them.
I put my head in my hands as I tried to process all this new information.
"He was on the run for seven years?"
Bella nodded, resting her forehead on the tops of her knees.
"How did you… Did you go to school?"
Bella nodded again. "I did but after we'd been there almost a year. Charlie wanted to make sure I was safe. I fell behind..."
"I know how that feels..."
My statement lingered in the air around us. Suddenly we were brought out of our little bubble by the sounds of children. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see that some kids had made their way over to the swings.
"I loved it here as a kid." I stated. "I have such great memories here."
I looked at Bella who was still had her arms wrapped around her legs.
"Remember when we were about seven and that big kid came over and stood on our masterpiece that had taken all day?"
"Yeah I remember."
"And how you told him he wasn't very nice doing that. And he pushed you."
Bella chuckled, laying her cheek on her knees to look at me, "Yeah, you punched that lad in the nose and was grounded for a week as I recall it."
"Yeah" I chuckled back. "Great times."
We continued to chat, leaving the heavy stuff for now. We talks for hours about our childhood memories. Bella reminded me of small things that had happened that I'd forgotten. Not just the memories from this park, but playing in our houses and backyards. We talked a little about work. She had graduated from college to be a kinder-garter teacher. Neither of us approached the subject of relationships which I felt a bit guilty about.
As I laughed, holding my stomach at yet another childhood memory, I glanced at my watch, realising we'd been talking for almost five hours in the warm summer sunshine.
"Oh shit. I have to get going. I need to get sorted for my shift. Can we do this again soon? You free next weekend?" I'd had such a great time after the heavy stuff, I needed to do it again.
Bella nodded as we both rose to stand. We faced each other, awkward, not knowing how to say goodbye. I knew I would see her again but I couldn't shake the feeling that I would lose her if I let her go now without confirmation of our next meet up. My chest tightened as I felt the familiar pains of a panic attack looming.
"Hey Edward. I'm not going anywhere. My home is here." Bella answered as if she could read my thoughts. If only it was that easy. "Just call me and I'll be there"
"Pinky promise?" I whispered holding my hand, little finger in the air.
Bella smiled widely as we linked little fingers, "Pinky promise".
Let me know what you thought of this chapter. I was really nervous about this one.
So the ice is broken? Will these two mend those broken bonds? *crosses fingers* ;)
Hoping to be back on track with my 2 week posting schedule but I suppose only time will tell. Thanks again to my beta and bb, SweetLovinCullen and thank you to each and every reader of Loved & Lost.
I love you all xx