Chap 4
He went to London to be with friends, the coronel stayed with him for a few days. The time in London was diverting, as it always was, and Bingley was excellent company, though still lovelorn.
The time went by as it always did in London; plays, paying calls, dinners, receiving calls, billiards with Charles, odious chats with Caroline, more tiresome calls to pay and receive. In the daytime he scarcely spared her a thought but in the nights, when he was all alone and had the dreadful inclinations of dwelling upon his mind he did think of her.
Different scenarios passed through his mind, scenes where she had accepted him, scenes where she had thrown herself in his arms after reading his letter, alas! They were all in his head.
At those lonely times he thought about his conduct towards her and her words still haunted his mind;
"You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner."
He shook his head at those times, trying to shake the words out of his mind, he determined himself to be a better man, to act more gentile if he was so lucky as to every see her again. He had a strong feeling he might never look upon her fair face, her fine dark eyes, those eyes who express so much feeling and says so much, usually after these excursions of his mind he fell asleep but in his dreams she still haunted him...