Disclaimer : SM owns Edward & Twilight, not me (sadly!)
10th September 2010.
Bella broke the silence with words that will be forever etched on my memory.
"I can't take it anymore!" she screamed. "I… I…" She took hold of my shoulders and met my gaze.
"Edward. I want you."
"What?" I whispered. I couldn't even beginning to wrap my head around those four small words. Those words I'd felt like I'd been waiting a lifetime to hear… again.
Bella's confident pose started to fall apart. I could literally see the doubt and panic creep in as she looked at me with wide eyes. She dropped her hands and gazed at her lap as she started to chew on her lower lip again.
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have... forget it."
I sat there staring at her, her words going round and round in my mind. Edward, I want you. Edward, I want you. Edward, I want you.
"Bee?" She didn't respond. "Bee, look at me." Still nothing.
"Please look at me. I need you to look at me Bella." I needed confirmation that this wasn't just some fantastic dream; that it was real. And I knew that one look into her eyes after calling her by her real name would give me that.
She kept her head down but lifted her eyes to look up at me through her eyelashes. She was the most breathing taking person I'd ever laid eyes on. And her eyes, so open, so honest, so full of conflicting emotions, so... terrified. I'm sure my eyes reflected the same message; terrified. Terrified of losing her again. I couldn't live through her not being part of my life. Not again, no. I can't. I love her.
Realisation hit me. I love her. I still love Bee. All those side glances, honest touches, awkward moments since she'd crashed back into my life just three short months ago; they were all telling me that Bee… that Bella was the one. After all these years of longing, it was plain to see, she was right in front of me.
My body was catching up with her words, their meaning. I felt myself starting to slowly lean towards her as I'd done so many times over the past months but this time, I didn't stop. As she saw my intentions, her eyes widen slightly but she didn't move. My fingers found her chin which I gasped lightly to tip her face up to fully look at me straight on. Her name left my lips again in just a whisper before they hovered over hers for a few seconds. She still hadn't moved; her eyes fluttered closed as I heard the faint sound of her breath hitch.
And then, it happened. Closing my eyes, I leaned in to close the gap so my lips connected with hers. A soft, light as a feather kiss on her lips which lingered but not for too long. I pulled back just a fraction to make sure she was okay before kissing her again for a little long and it was a little firmer and this time, I could feel Bella kissing me back. Again I pulled back as a small smile played on my lips. I leaned in again quickly realising that the distance had been reduced; Bella was leaning towards me at the same time. Bella started to shift on the couch to her knees as I felt her hands that were resting in her own lap, move on to my shoulders before sliding their way around my neck and into the short hair at the back of my head. My hands moved on their own accord after I moved to a more comfortable position, to rest on Bella's hips. Our lips connected again with more force. Our lips started to move in sync with one another's and this time I didn't pull back and neither did she. Instead, my grip on her hips tightened as she parted her lips and glided her tongue along my bottom lip. A low groan came from the back of my throat as I opened my mouth to give her the access she desired. I'd give her anything she wanted. As our mouths parted and our tongues touched for the first time in over ten years, I felt desire course through me as my groin tightened. Our kisses deepened and our breathing became loud in her small living room. We broke away from each other in order to breath. Her eyes looked hooded and full of emotion as I lunged forward to kiss her, knocking her off balance. My hands instantly cradled the back of her head as she lay down on the couch, my body covering her.
We continued our battle with each other's lips and tongues. The swell in my pants matched the swell in my chest as it tightened. I'd never felt like this with a woman, ever. She completely consumed me and I welcomed it. Just to feel; it felt so right. I felt Bella's hands started to glide over my shoulders and down my chest eventually resting where I was pressing against her. Her fingers skimmed the bottom of my hoodie before tugging at it. I sat up, only wanting to break our connection for a few seconds to help her remove it. Once over my head, she grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled that off too. Her fingers and eyes traced my now bare chest and stomach as I sat back on my heels between her parted ankles. I saw her bottom lip tuck into her teeth as she looked up at me. She reached up and stripped off her own top leaving her sat in a pale blue bra and small grey shorts.
Tentatively, I pushed my head down to her shoulder, placing wet open mouth kisses there. Bella moaned softly, dropping her head back exposing her throat to me. Wasting no time, I trailed those kisses to the column of her throat towards her ear, gently sucking at the soft skin there. Bella gasped as her hands found her way into my hair again tugging and pulling to the point of pain. But this pain was different. This pain made my eyes roll in the back of my head as I pulled against her to lay down beneath me again, kissing her with more passion than I'd ever felt. Needing to feel her under me.
My hands squeezing her hips before I placed my right one by the side of her head to try and not crush her, sliding the other slowly up to her waist then onto her rib cage before coming to rest at the sides of her breast. I lifted my frame from her just enough for my hand to fit between us, guiding it over the swell of her breast before squeezing over the fabric of her bra. She gasped and moaned, her back strained against my chest as her back arched off the couch slightly. Encouraged by her sounds, I continued to squeeze and knead as I felt her nipple harden under my touch. Grasping the material between my thumb and forefinger, I tucked slightly and was yet again met with the now, my favourite sound in the world, Bella's moan.
"Bella, baby ... I need to touch you... so bad .." I saw Bella nod before I scrambled to my knees and yanked the material barrier of her bra to the side, exposing her breast to me for the first time. I dipped my head quickly to take her nipple in my mouth.
"Edward!" Bella cried out as I lightly bit down, her hands gripping my hair again. My name spilling from her lips with force urged me forward. I used my other hand to expose her other breast, pinching and rolling her nipple between my fingers.
"Edward." she said again, practically purring between me. Slipping my hands behind her feeling her smooth skin, I exposed of her bra before attacking any part of her I could get my lips on. Her hands left my hair skimming down toward my pants. She lightly stroked my dick through the denim as I groaned into her skin. Following her lead, my own hand slipping lower to her hip, skimming down her thigh to wrap around her knee. I dug my face into her shoulder, our chests flush as I pulled her knee up sharply and wrapping her leg to hitch around my hip, the new angle gave me access to where I needed to be. My hand slipped back down her thigh between us, brushing against her own hand. Gently tracing a line from her hip down to her centre, I could feel the heat as I cupped her. She moaned again, her touch on me getting firmer with each stroke.
I pulled back my head to look at her. She was beautiful, her cheeks flushed with desire as her eyes told the same story. In a flash, we were kissing again as my centre finger began to circle firmly against her covered clit. Bella's hands were a frenzy of movements as she struggled to move them to my sides and start to slide my pants and boxers down my legs. Realising her intentions, I fumbled to hook my fingers into her shorts and panties to do the same.
Seconds later, we were both naked, sprawled over her couch. I continued to assault her neck as her fingers dug into my shoulders, sending delicious tremors back my spine. My hardened dick was pressing into her hip and I knew with a small movement, I could be inside her. Home. The urge to take her was so strong; we needed to get to her bed, now.
"Bedroom." I rasped. She nodded as her lips found mine again. Scooping her up in my arms, I practically sprinted towards her bedroom. Kicking the door open and booting it closed again with my heel, we made it to the bed without incident. Laying her down on her bed, I stood for a moment to gaze down at her. She moved her arm to try and cover herself before I stopped her.
"Bella? Don't hide yourself from me … please? You're so beautiful."
She looked at me shyly before I knelt down at her feet. Grabbing her left one, I placed a kiss on her toes before moving, inch by inch from her foot to her ankle. Settling between her legs, I continued my path to her calf and her knee, to her thigh then to her hip. I resisted temptation being so close to the place I wanted to be so continued to her waist, skimming the outside of her breast to her collarbone to her neck and finishing at her lips. My urges still so strong but I wanted to feel her, memorise her skin, cherish her, love her. I wanted to make love to Bella.
My hands reached down to seek out her warmth as I felt my fingers guide along her slick folds. Bella arched her back effectively pressing her lower body into my waiting hand. I edged a finger towards her entrance, making small circles as I went. Slowly, I dipped a finger into her warmth. She was so warm and wet already. Oh my God. Please God, don't let me come before I'm even inside her. I tried to control my breathing as I heard Bella's moans fill the room, her hips moving to meet my moving finger. My dick was so hard against her hip, I tried to find some friction. I added a second finger before Bella grabbed my junk in her small hand and squeezed. That was the final act; I was going to go mad if I didn't get inside this woman now.
"Bella. I want you." I repeated her words from early. Those four words that made me realise that I was in love with this beautiful creature and nothing was going to get in the way.
"Edward. I need you inside me, please?"
I moved to line the tip of my dick to her entrance before I paused. Shit! I don't have anything with me. No condom. Shit, shit, shit! As if Bella read my mind, she reached to her drawer and after a second of searching, she found one. I grabbed it, ripping the packet with my teeth and rolled in on my length before settling back down to nestle once again between her legs. I poised brushing my tip across her entrance a couple of times but before we took this step, I needed to let Bella know my feelings for her. I knew she cared for me too.
"Bella, I love you."
The words that she whispered back to me made my heart swell as it pound against my ribcage. "I love you too Edward. It's always been you."
I kissed her softly as my tip entered her. We both held our breath, forehead touching as I inched into her allowing time for us both to adjust. She was so tight around me, I needed a few seconds myself not to explode. I need to calm the fuck down. I wanted this to be special. Bella let out a long breath acknowledging she was ready. And so was I. My movement was slow at first. I continued to kiss Bella anywhere my lips could reach. Bella's eyes fluttered close as she bit her lip, groaning a little before I increased my pace. Soon, the small noises became louder as my thrusts became stronger. I pulled her legs up to wrap around my waist which alter the angle of my thrusts, going deeper than before. The pressure was quickly building in my groin as I gritted my teeth to take and stay in control.
"Bella… baby… I'm close..."
"Oh God Edward... me too… mmmmm, oh oh God …"
Not wanting to take any chances, I snaked my hand between us as I franticly rubbed circles on her throbbing nub.
"Ohhhhh … goooooodddddd ..." Bella moaned before digging her fingers in my hair.
"That's it baby … so goooood … yes"
My movements became jerky and uneven as I felt Bella's walls clamp down on my dick before I came, fast and hard. I felt light headed as I slowed my pace to a stop before collapsing on top of her, trying to keep most of my weight off her with shaking hands.
"I love you." Bella whispered, her voice out of breath in my ear as she pulled me down towards her. A smile on my lips broke out through the haze of dizziness and heavy breathing as I allowed myself to melt into her embrace, "I love you too, Bella." I held her close before pulling away slightly to pull out of her and dispose of the condom. We settled back on our sides, just looking at each other giving each other the reassurance with gentle touches, innocent kisses and whispered declarations of love.
We could have been there minutes or hours, I'm not sure before I heard a loud bang at her apartment front door. Bella frowned as she sat up on her elbow, her head turned towards her bedroom door.
"Who the ..."
Bella didn't need to finish the sentence. "Bella! I know you're there. Open this door!" Jake shouted through the wood.
Bella groaned as she flopped back down to the bed and pushed her face into my chest. "I'm not here!" she shouted though it was muffled. What the fuck is he doing here? I tipped my finger under her chin so she would look at me trying to leave the anger out of my voice, "You want me to tell him to get lost?"
Bella gave a heavy sigh, "No. I better go show him I'm okay."
"Not fucking like that you're not!" I snarled and curled my arms around her form possessively. Bella chuckled into my chest again, raising her head to look at me again.
"I'll grab my clothes from the living room. Don't worry; he's not got a key. He can't just walk in." This small piece of information instantly calmed me. I felt better knowing he didn't have a key and didn't just come wandering into my girl's apartment.
"Two minutes Jake!" Bella huffed again then leaned down to give me a soft, lingering kiss before dashing out of her room to get dressed and get rid of Jake. I listened to Bella moving around before unlocking the door.
"Bella? You okay?"
"Yes Jake, I'm fine… well better than fine..."
"Bella? What have you done? Please tell me… no..."
I was on my feet within a second striding towards the door before I realised I was naked and all my clothes where in the living room. Shit! Before I could think, I heard Bella speaking again.
"Jake, don't. You know what Edward means to me. You know this! You've seen me, in tears because I couldn't have him and now... now I can."
She sounded so confident, so sure of what she wanted. I flopped back to the bed as her words swirled around my mind. Other words were being exchanged but I couldn't concentrate on them. She's cried over me, over... another woman being with me. I couldn't think her name; it made me feel sick to the stomach. Why has she even been bothered to wait? I was pulled out of my musing by the door slamming shut and Bella appearing in the doorway. Frozen to the spot, I stared at her. She had put on my black hoodie that stopped on her mid thigh. My eyes roamed her long, slender legs.
After a few seconds of her eyes exploring my naked form, her smile slipped into a worried expression. "Edward? Edward, what's wrong?" Bella voice held a hint of panic as she crossed the room to sit next to me. I followed her movement with my eyes as she came eye to eye with me.
"I'm sorry..." my voice sounded hoarse to my own ears as I looked at her. She was my everything, I realised that now but I stopped with… because she was the easy option. I felt safe in that situation, one I'd been in for the last three years. Oh my God … she was like my security blanket … I'm going to be sick. My eyes frantically sought out her bathroom door in case I needed to bolt.
I looked back at Bella. Her eyes searched mine before she reached up and held my cheeks between her small hands. "Edward, talk to me… please, just talk to me." She leaned in to kiss me on the lips before pulling back, resting her forehead against mine, still holding my face.
I squeezed my eyes shut trying to find the words needed to apologise for being such an idiot for the past couple of months. I knew I'd been scared of stepping out into the unknown... and of losing Bella again. She deserves so much better than a coward like me. My brain tried to formulate words but all I came up with was another 'Sorry' which just wasn't good enough for her.
"I don't deserve you." I whispered, realising quickly that I'd said that out loud instead of in my head.
"Oh Edward… you silly, silly Edward …" she sighed as she shook her head slightly against mine, the pads of her finger tips pressed into my cheeks.
I opened my eyes to see a rich, warm chocolate pair looking straight back at me, so close, so passionate. They say your eyes are the windows in your soul and looking into Bella's eyes at that moment, I knew why. Bella's soul was beautiful, honest and truthful.
"Edward …." her voice so quiet, so soft to my ears but so confident and strong, "You're everything to me… everything..." And I believed her because she was my everything too.
"I love you Bee. So much." My lips sought hers as we reunited in a chaste kiss that remained that way. I tucked my head into her chest as her arms circled my head and held me close. She moved her legs to drape over my side as I clutched her waist.
"I love you, Edward. More than you'll ever know." We laid in her bed all night, talking a little and kissing often until we both fell asleep in each other's arms. Comfortable, warm and together.
The next day …. 11th September 2010.
I woke the next morning to feeling warm and fuzzy. I could see the sunlight streaming from the window behind my closed eye lids. Something in front of me moved slightly before I realised where I was. In Bella's bed with the woman I love. I smiled. I couldn't help it; I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt this happy. I knew we needed to talk properly about everything, about when I could tell everyone, no scratch that… anyone who would listen to me that Bella Marie Swan is mine. My smile grew even wider as I could see the scene pan out with my family; they'll be so happy for us. I knew they never really liked Tanya much... Tanya… shit... Just her name made my skin crawl... No… NO! She will not dampen the feeling I have that this moment. I shook my head a little to clear it before smiling again, gathering Bella in my arms and pulling her back to be flush to my chest. I buried my face into her shoulder as I opened my eyes slowly. The sun flooded her small bedroom from the window at our right. The light was laid around Bella's sleeping form, bathing her skin in soft yellow tones. She had pulled off my hoodie in the night and now the sheet on her bed was not doing a great job of covering her up. My wide grin returned as I started to lay open mouth kisses to her shoulders.
Bella stirred in my arms. "Mmmmm morning."
"Morning sunshine." It seemed appropriate looking down at her at the time. She turned in my arms and snuggled to my chest. My arms automatically drew around her, holding her to me.
"Urgh morning breath. Edward let me go. I need to use the bathroom."
My grip only tightened, "Never. I'll never let you go. Never ever."
Bella's face tipped up to see mine and arched her brow. "Has anyone told you you're silly Edward?"
I laughed. "Yes I do remember someone calling me that from time to time." I brushed her nose with mine with my grin still in place.
"Come on Edward. I need to use the bathroom. Unless you want me to pee on you, I suggest you get me go."
"Okay... okay." I grumbled reluctantly letting her go and she dashed to the bathroom. I sat up in her bed and stretched her arms above my head.
A couple of minutes later, Bella emerged in a tank top and a pair of boy shorts.
"Oh no fair!" I pointed and pouted at the same time. Bella just giggled at me before wandering over close enough to me so I could pull her into my lap. She squealed as I pulled her down on the bed, quickly changing positions so she was on her back and I was hovering over her. I grabbed her wrists in one hand, laying them above her head.
"Now who's not being fair." she smirked at me then bit her lip. I just smirked back, lowering my head to place butterfly kisses over her face, moving to her neck, shoulder and collarbone.
"Edward... we need to talk. About us, this..."
"I know we do," I answered between kisses, "but not now. Later."
Bella moaned, "Okay. Later. But Edward, you have to let go on my hands. I need to touch you. I've gone too long without." I couldn't deny her request. It had been too long… way too long.
We eventually got up but as it was a Saturday and neither of us were working, we took our time. We talked a little and both agreed that, for now, we would keep our relationship under wraps. I didn't want people to think Bella was a rebound after Tanya. That would be so wrong.
After more kisses, some more innocent than others, I left Bella to get cleaned up while I went back to my house to do the same. I was in desperate need for a shower and fresh clothes. But we did agree to meet in the park later as we did each and every Saturday.
Unlocking the door, I walked into my living room to find Tanya sat on my couch on her cell, talking.
"Yes, yes. He's here now. Yes, I'll see you next week." She hung up and stared at me. "Where the hell have you been Edward? I've been worried."
What. The. Fuck!
I tried to keep my voice level, calmed and controlled, "Tanya? What… what are you doing here?"
She flicked her wrist in a dismissive way as she spoke, "What do you think? I'm getting sorted ready for next week's move. Remember, New York?"
I ground my teeth in frustration, "No... I meant here, in my house. I told you last night, we're through."
Tanya snorted, yeah snorted, "Edward. I've known you for three years now. I know a hissy fit when I see one. You done now? Good cause we need to talk about New..." I didn't let her finish.
"Oh my God! You never listen to me! Tanya! We. Are. Done. Is that plain enough for you? You want me to make it any clearer? You want me to throw you out? Will the message get through then?"
My words hung in the air as I tried to level out my breathing. I was furious, almost shaking from anger.
"You're breaking up with me?"
I throw my head and hands up in the air. "Hallelujah! She's got it! Give her a fucking prize!" When I didn't get an immediate snarky remark, I looked down at her. She was seething with anger. The vain on her forehead looked like it was going to pop under the pressure.
"No you can't," she stated eerily calm.
I laughed on the boarder of hysteria. "I think you'll find I can and I have. Tanya, go to New York. Have a long and happy life with some other poor scmuck 'cause this one has finally had his eyes opened to what you really are."
Again my words were met with silence for a minute or so. I was getting impatient.
"Where were you last night?"
The sudden change of questioning knocked me sideways. "What?"
"You heard me," Tanya rose from her seat and stepped towards me, "Where?"
"I .. at a friends.."
"Liar. You were with her, that Bella. I knew it! I bloody knew it!" she screamed at me. "How long Edward? How long has it been going on? Hmmm! A week, a month? Answer me!"
"Nothing's been going on..."
"Oh I can't believe you! Look at you! You're a mess and you practically smell of sex… how… how dare you do this to me!" she jammed her polished finger nail into my chest.
I confidently matched her steel glare with my own. "Tanya. Nothing's been going on but yes, last night after we broke up, Bella and I shared something that we never had."
Tanya snapped out of her hatred stare to march around the living room to pick up her purse. "Well I hope she enjoyed my sloppy seconds."
"Get the fuck out of my house now before I say something you will definitely regret hearing." My voice dripped with anger and resentment.
"Choose your words carefully Edward..." she said egging me on.
"You're such a cold hearted, bitter person, you know that Tanya? You may be beautiful on the outside but you're one ugly bitch on the inside. I just can't believe I let it go on this long. I'm just so glad Bee came back into my life and opened my eyes before it was too late." I looked at her hand; her engagement ring was still in place. She can keep it; means nothing to me.
Tanya strode towards the door. She opened it before turning back to me, "You'll be sorry Edward Cullen." She threw me her most hateful look then marched out of the door, slamming it shut. And just like that, she was gone, out of my life, for good.
Firstly apologies for taking such a long time to update this chapter - RL has been busy, busy, busy ... what with meeting Rob a few weeks back *sigh* He's the sweetest! Hope the wait with worth it - Ding Dong the witch is dead? lol. A huge thank you to my beta and bb, SweetLovinCullen. She's taken time out of her busy schedule of revision to beta this one for me - thank you bb, you're the best! *mwah*
If you didn't already know, I've written a one shot for the Fandom Fights Tsunami Compilation called 'Window of Opportunity'. The compilcation is available now and donations will be taken up to 1st July - loads of fantastic stories from great authors on there! Visit www . fandomfightstsunami . blogspot . com for more information :)
I should be back to my 2 week updating schedule now so until then ... enjoy and as always, let me know what you think. I know I'm fail on review replies but I love to read each and every one :)