Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters, etc.
Thanks for the responses everyone! That really makes me happy! Please keep reviewing - it will make me happier and motivate me to update sooner :) (Even though those of you who know me know I update fast because I'm impatient for people to read this haha). I have something really interesting planned for the next few chapters, so stay tuned. :)
Brittany looks at the letter Kurt had helped her write and sighs. She's at home now, in her room, and she's been debating for over half-an-hour whether she should send the letter or not.
Finally, she decides. She stands over her trashcan and rips the letter into little pieces.
"I'm sorry, San. It's just too late. There's no point."
The miniscule pieces float into the trashcan like shredded confetti: remnants of Brittany's dreams ripped to pieces by the effects of time and space.
Brittany moves over to her bed and sits next to Mr. Tubbington.
"Mr. Tubbington, do you think she'll forgive me? I really love San but I just don't think this is going to work out. She's so far away. Like, you couldn't even get there, Mr. Tubbington. Unless maybe you drove, which you are not allowed to do. Remember what happened last time?"
The fat cat looks at her curiously and mews quietly.
Brittany smiles and flips her blonde hair over her shoulder. "That's right. We don't want you driving anymore because you-"
And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before...
Brittany jumps up and grabs her phone from her dresser in excitement. The ringtone Santana assigned to herself (Brittany doesn't understand how to do stuff like that, but Santana helped her) is ringing.
She listens to the sound of Santana's beautiful voice singing for a moment longer as "Songbird" plays. Then, she remembers she has to pick up the phone. Sometimes she forgets to do that because she just wants to listen to Santana sing.
"Hello, San?"
"Hey, Britt-Britt... How are you?"
"I'm good." Brittany lies back down on her bed and stares up at the ceiling, which is dotted with glow-in-the-dark stars. It reminds her of space. She thought they were real stars when Santana first put them up, but Santana told her they weren't.
"Brittany... um... you never called me. Is everything okay?"
"It's fine. I was just... doing homework, that's all."
On the other end of the line, Santana raises her eyebrow. Brittany's an awful liar.
"Britt... I'm sorry if my letter offended you or anything.. I didn't-"
"You didn't offend me, Santana! How could you think that? I'm fine with who you are...but, other than saying that, I don't want to talk about it, okay? I just want to know about how you're doing."
"Okay. Um. I'm doing all right. I've just been going to school, doing homework, and looking for a job I can do on the weekends."
Brittany sighs. She knows Santana, and Santana's voice is telling her that she's not doing all right. She knows better than to pry though, because Santana will shut her out. Again.
"That's good, San. I miss you."
"I miss you too, Brittany."
"When are you going to visit?"
"Brittany! It's only been a week!" Santana's smile can be heard in her voice.
"But it feels like forever..." She's whining, but Brittany doesn't care. Where Santana used to be in her life, there's only an empty ache. There's no one walking beside her to class anymore; no one to stand up for her when someone calls her stupid; no one to watch movies and giggle with; no one to cuddle with and hold when she feels sad. She tries to cuddle with Mr. Tubbington, but he hisses at her too much and he smells like tuna. As much as she loves tuna, that's not Santana. Santana smells like cinnamon, not tuna.
"Do you want to get on Skype, Britt? I need to see you." The longing in Santana's voice is evident.
"Okay." Brittany moves over to her computer and sings in to Skype. She soon gets a phone call from Santana and accepts it.
"Hi." Santana is staring back at her and her beautiful face fills the screen, taking Brittany's breath away.
"Hi."
Brittany hesitates and then decides to ask Santana, "How are you really doing, San?" It's harder for Santana to lie to her when they're talking face-to-face since Brittany can read her every expression.
Santana sighs and rubs her eyes. "Let's see... the people here are an absolute joke. They're all nerds. No one does anything fun in this town. There isn't even a bar. I have no one to watch movies with and the cheer-leading team at this school is so bad that they make Finn's clumsy moves look good. And this random dorky kid with a million zits and unwashed hair keeps asking me out every day. So, it sucks." Santana feels immediate regret after her tirade. She shouldn't have said all that. She hates to burden Brittany and she clearly made Brittany sad as evident by Brittany's expression.
"Aww. San, I'm so sorry."
"I was exaggerating, Brittany. Don't worry. I'm going to be fine. I'm just crabby because I miss you."
"I miss you too. Are you dating that guy?"
Santana laughs, although a slight bit of fear is hiding in her eyes. "Nope. If you have haven't figured out that I'm not interested in guys by now..."
"Oh, right. That's cool." An awkward silence comes over them because Brittany knows Santana's referring to the letter.
They talk for almost an hour after that about Glee, and Santana helps Brittany with her mathematics homework.
Finally, they say goodnight.
"Night, San. I love..miss you."
"Miss you too. I'll call tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
Brittany ends the Skype conversation and sighs. She knows she should have just told Santana that she loves her too but the words wouldn't come. Why does the time never seem right? She wants to do it in person, not over Skype, with the love of her life so far away. She pauses a moment as she remembers the letter, and she glances over toward her trashcan... should she do it?
A few hours later, Santana is sitting in her room, contemplating whether she should work on her stupid physics homework or just sleep, when her mom walks into the room.
"Santana? Was that Brittany you were talking to before dinner?"
"Yeah, mom." Is she in trouble? Her mother doesn't usually ask about her Skype conversations.
"Santana, have you made any friends here yet?"
Santana resists the urge to roll her eyes. "No, mom, but I'm fine. I've met some people and I'm studying hard. I'm not doing drugs. I'm not going crazy, and I'm not drinking. " A lot, she adds silently in her head.
Her mother looks slightly hurt. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
Santana is so close to blowing up, because of course she's not okay, but her mom's had it hard with this move too and she knows that so she resorts to a semi-sarcastic remark instead. "I'm fine. I mean, I don't want to be in this shitty town, but I'm fine."
"Santana! Don't use that language!"
"Sorry."
"Well... maybe you'll meet a nice boy or something here." Her mom's hopeful look hurts Santana, but she doesn't let it show. 'I'll never find a boyfriend, mom. I don't want to.' That's what she wants to say.
Instead, she only asks, "What do you mean?"
"Well... it's just with Brittany around all the time you never really had a chance to have a boyfriend because she demanded so much of your attention. She's a nice girl, Santana, but you need the space to have your own life."
Santana feels like shouting again. Her mom just doesn't get it. Brittany is her life.
"I like Brittany, okay, mom? She has nothing to do with whether I date or not. The only thing keeping me from dating guys was..."
"What?"
Santana almost says it: that she's a lesbian, but she knows her mom won't accept her. Her family won't accept who she really is. They would rather she pretend to be someone she's not than be herself and happy. According to them, who she is - it's wrong.
"I just meant that the pickings were awful in Lima, mom. That's all."
"Oh. Well, there are plenty of nice boys here, Santana."
"Of course."
Her mother walks out of the room with a smile, clearly thinking the conversation went well, and Santana closes the door behind her. She misses Brittany so much. She misses the one person who understands her and seems to accept her for who she is, even if the letter made Brittany feel a little uncomfortable.
"How am I going to get through this?"
No one answers because no one is there.
Will anyone ever be there for her?
Her cell phone ringing interrupts her. It startles her because of the freakish timing. Santana Lopez is not superstitious but she can't help but wonder: Is this an answer to her question?
"Hello?"
"Is this Santana?"
The voice almost sounds like... "Mrs. Pierce?"
Mrs. Pierce's voice quivers. "We know you talked to Brittany earlier. Do you have any idea where she is?"
"What do you mean?" A bubble of fear rises up within her.
"We just got home from teacher conferences for her brother..."
Mrs. Pierce pauses and then admits, "Brittany's missing."
Review please. Gracias. De nada. Como estas? Muy bien, y tu? Bien. Quieras chocolate? Si! And, yes, I am talking to myself in Spanish. Because. I. Can.