Wow, so many of you approve of my first non-Marvel/DC crossover fic! Thanks for that!

Disclaimer: I own only the plot and several OCs, Naruto and Rosario+Vampire belong to two guys that are old and slightly (See 'VERY') perverted. Perverted old men...Stop it! Bad Pervy Old Guys! Bad! Leave Perving to the next generation!

Swamp Sage of the Demon School

Case 2: Wet Feet

I rolled out of bed the next morning wearing only my boxers. What? They're flimsy, somewhat warm, and do their job. Plus, like dear ole Dad, anything else just seems too...restraining...not to mention my species like the humid swamps, as in my family name, and my room is often kept at high temperatures. Hey, Era and EJ weren't complaining...if that's what their names were...

I stood and stretched; my left hand extending up before going to the back of my head and scratching while my right arm remained in the air as I yawned. However, I paused during mid-stretch as a tired feminine moan echoed through my room. Snapping my head over to the left, and there sitting in my satellite chair I had received from Granny Tsunade for passing the Rites of Adulthood, was the Succubus from the day before. Kurono Kurumu, her name I think.

With an annoyed growl (what do I look like a damn charity case? No free rooms!) I went over to the blue haired girl and shook her by the shoulder. Her purple eyes snapped open and locked onto my own irritated blue ones. Standing upright, completely forgetting how I tended to sleep, I glared down at the unrestrained girl now staring at my chest (which made me a little uncomfortable).

"Why'd you try to hypnotize the entire male student body?" I asked, getting her attention immediately. She smiled, in what I believe was to be a sultry attempt, and stood up, causing me to step back cautiously. Kurumu took another step towards me and pressed her chest against mine. Being in complete control of my hormones (as expected by the heir to the Numanokenja line), I ignored the pleasant softness of her twin pillows flattening against my chest and stared defiantly down at her. That wasn't to say I didn't take notice of the DD cups pressing against me, I may be a clan heir, but I'm not an idiot. My grandfather saw to that.

"Now why would you go and accuse me of such a thing, handsome?" the succubus asked, her arms wrapping around my neck. I could feel the tingling of a seduction charm starting in the back of my head and I willed it away, all the while not breaking my eye contact with my convict.

"Because unlike Aono," I lowly growled back as I grabbed her wrists and slowly placed her arms back at her sides, "I can break out of your charms without a girl's help."

Kurumu blinked up at me with awe before smirking, "Nice try. I've heard that before, believe it or not, and those boys still come chasing me."

"Which makes you that much more despicable," I snarled, making her scowl instantly, "Where's the Golem?"

"Who?"

"Don't start with me, Kurono," I growled, pushing her away from me with restrained anger, "I'm not the type of being to play games with."

"Aw, but I like games..." the succubus playfully pouted. I simply crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes.

"Golem. Location. Now."

"Well since you asked so nicely," Kurumu purred, making me scoff. Only one girl so far had been able to affect me with that type of voice, and I haven't seen her since I've returned to Yokai Academy. Angered that this...this mockery of a female had managed to remind me of her, I grabbed the succubus by her shoulders and channeled my energy to reveal a fraction of my full form. My eyes grew larger while they turned yellow and became toad-like, my hair grew half-an-inch and darkened from the neon sun-color that it was into an even darker, duller yellow.

"Listen slut," I growled, making the girl's eyes widen in fear as I slipped some of my youkai into my killer intent, "Now you've gone and ticked me off. I said I want the location of the Golem, and I meant it. Now tell me what I wanna know or I'm going to show you just why my family is offered truces before a war breaks out!"

Obviously shaken, Kurumu spoke, "R-R-room 231...he left me for a member of the swimming club..."

I scowled and released her as I went to my bedside table, picking up my packet of smokes and the matches I snatched off the science teacher. Pulling a nicotine stick out of the pack, I placed it in my mouth. I broke a match off, dragged it across the back of the match packet, lighting the stick, and lit the end of my cig. After lighting my death stick, I took an intake of it and relished in the feeling of nicotine rushing through my veins and soothing my nerves.

Looking back at a wide-eyed, big breasted, still dressed (I can stress the importance of that), blue haired teenage girl, I blinked in confusion before, with my cigarette in my mouth, I asked her, "What the fuck are you lookin' at?"

Without missing a beat, the fear left her face and a sultry, slightly seductive smirk crossed her face. Pointing at my body, Kurumu purred out, "I'm looking at a fucking sexy son-of-a-bitch...that maybe wants to let me go?"

The embarrassment of still being naked in front of the damn freshman having left at the rest of her purr, if you could call it that, I scowled and went to my door, opened it, and snarled, "Get the fuck out of my room!"

And thus began the hell known as being Kurumu's Chosen One.

Nearly as bad as being my old sensei's "Rival"...Yeah, nearly as bad.

I yawned as I listened to Shizuka-sensei drone on and on about the Newspaper club. Apparently, I've got a new problem concerning the missing Golem. Joining a human swim club is fun and dandy when you're technically a false human living a lie, but when you're in Yokai Academy; it's a whole 'nother ball-park. I should know...As it is today, only two boys made it through the "inauguration" of the Swimming Club.

My grandfather and my father are both of them.

Today, I'm becoming the Third.

"I just hope everyone keeps to the rules and remember to sign up for the Newspaper Club!" Shizuka-sensei said with a smile, her cat tail swishing from side to side eagerly as the bell rang. I stayed behind again; watching the class file out of the room when I blinked in surprise at seeing the pink haired vampire Akashiya Moka, heir to the Alucard bloodline on her mother's side while her father is one of 'The Big Three', stop just outside of the door along with her lost puppy of a human Aono Tsukune. The crowded room emptied to just myself and the teacher, and then Moka walked back in, the nervous Tsukune following shortly afterwards.

"Oh, hello Akashiya-san, Aono-san! Have you decided to sign up for the Newspaper Club?" Shizuka-sensei asked with a smile. Tsukune nervously scratched the back of his head and Moka politely shook hers in the negative. I growled to myself, knowing what they, or rather, what Moka wanted.

"Maybe later, Shizuka-sensei," the pink haired girl politely said with a smile before looking at me, "I...wanted to speak to Naruto-kun."

"Of course you did," I muttered, scowling as I looked to the door to make sure no one stayed behind. Grunting as I stood, I shucked the spell-covered school-jacket from my body and stuffed it into the desk's 'secret' storage unit. A unit I added, mind you. That's aside from the point however.

Tsukune, the cowardly shit-stain of a human that he is, jumped six feet in the air when I suddenly changed clothes. My normal white blouse changed into a form-fitting blue shirt with the Numanokenja kanji for Oil on the front of it in a bright orange, a homage to my grandfather Jiraiya, Sage Elder of the Toads, the tie seen around my neck was changed into the necklace handed down from my grandmother Tsunade, Princess of the Slugs, to me on my birth. My brown khakis and shoes were replaced with tan cargos and open-toe, battle-ready combat sandals.

Don't judge me; it's a family thing to wear the combat sandals...well, aside from Baachan and Ero-jiji, or Ma and Pa...or Elder-sama...Never mind.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and tilted my head to the right, studying the surprised form of Moka. Her emerald eyes nearly as wide as saucers. Her mouth popped open and shut as I pulled out a packet of smokes, pulling a stick from the pack, putting it in my mouth and...

"Son of a bitch!" I yowled as the back of my head was struck hard with a meter stick. Tears welled at the corners of my eyes and I stared questioningly at Shizuka-sensei.

"Language!" Shizuka-sensei scolded me, smacking me again with the meter stick. I yelped again and held my head, my cigarette miraculously remaining in my mouth. When I looked at her again, she had a fire in her eyes and continued, "And that first one was for trying to smoke!"

"Aw, c'mon, Shizuka-sensei!" I whined, pulling the stick from my mouth with my left hand, "Can't ya just let me do it once-YEOW! OK, OK!"

I put my sticks away, grumbling as I did so, before walking towards the door. I heard, rather than saw, Moka and Tsukune follow me as I left the classroom, bee-lining for the exit out onto the school grounds.

And that's when it struck.

"Naruto-kun!" cried a familiar (and highly unwanted) voice as the owner leapt onto my back, flattening her obscenely large assets against my spine. I grunted as her arms wrapped around my neck and her face appeared on the left of mine. She smiled seductively and said, "I missed you!"

"Yeah, I'll just bet you did," I replied with distain. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gay or anything (multiple girls around the school can atone to that), but this chick is so damn hell-bent on getting in my pants, it's kind of a turn-off. Weird, right?

"K-Kurono-san!" Tsukune gasped, getting the bluenette's attention and allowing me to see, yet again, a wide-eyed, sweating Aono Tsukune as well as a...Huh, look at that. Seems that whole 'Power turns on Vamps' is true. Poor Moka-san seems unsure whether to scowl at the bluenette or frown in jealousy...then again, what do I know?

"Hm? Oh, hey Aono-san, Akashiya-san," the succubus greeted nonchalantly, making me sigh in dismay. She's definitely decided I'm her "Chosen One"...fuck...

"U-Uh...Huh? Y-You mean...you're not going to try to...seduce me?"

Is it wrong that I take pride in making that chicken-shit of a meat-sack feel bad about not getting the attention of a Succubus? Cuz if it is, I don't give a flying fuck. Best. Year. Ever.

"You? What do you have going for you?" Kurumu snorted, releasing me as she went to walk around the now terrified (I wonder if this fucktard is into BDSM...on the receiving end) Tsukune. She hummed disapprovingly and began speaking again, "I mean, you do have a cute face...a nice scent, which helps, I guess. But you're not special. You're scrawny, thin, cowardly, submissive, and to be blunt-" Yeah, because none of those earlier adjectives are blunt enough... "You're just so...dull."

Seeing Tsukune hang his head in depression, I rolled my eyes. Grow some balls, smack the bitch, and then cry to yourself while eating chocolate...fucking pansy-ass human. A familiar weight wrapped around my neck and I growled in annoyance. Don't bring me into this, don't bring me into this while there's a swarm of girls yet to be tainted, a few guys that are curious, and even some of them hidden amongst the crowd.

"Naruto-kun is strong," Kurumu purred, rubbing my chest and making me growl in irritation. She seriously does not know ANYTHING about putting someone down! You do it in private, make their minds believe you, and then in public, they'll fuck themselves over by brushing off any attempt for help. I nearly smacked myself when her next sentence left her mouth, "Not to mention...he's very forceful when he wants something. Not a submissive pansy. Now that's hot!"

"Dear Kami, why do you hate me so?" I asked the sky, looking up at the roof with a pleading face, "I say my prayers, I do my katas...Did I fuck the wrong being in a past life?"

My words went unnoticed as Kurumu continued with a smirk, "You can keep hanging onto him, Akashiya-san. Aono-san is as useful to me as a dildo is to a straight guy."

I rolled my eyes as the gathered crowd laughed and decided that I've had enough. Walking past Kurumu and standing before Tsukune, I said, "Grow a set, tell her to fuck off, and give me a Lincoln bill. I've got shit to do, and while hearing you get stomped on every other minute is 'fun', I would rather find the swim club booth so I can find a retarded mud-man and get him back to his girl so he can sleep on the couch for leaving her."

A gasp echoed through the crowd and whispers soon followed. I ignored the whispers and began walking through the halls, looking this way and that for the swimming clubs' podium. Unfortunately, I managed to gather the wrong people's attention at the worst times. Mostly female attention...it's the most probable attention one can obtain.

"Hey, isn't that...?"

"Holy crap!"

"Aw! How'd that slut get him?"

"Shut up, you know what they say he does to annoyances, right?"

"Eep!"

I sighed and ignored the massive group forming behind me as I walked towards the Mermaids, locking eyes with the recruiter as she donned a blush. I blinked in confusion before I recalled our last meeting nearly four months into our first year together. Oh yes, that night was one she'll never forget.

"Tamao-chan," I greeted with a smile as I neared the recruiter's table, her face now becoming a bright pink as her long sea-blue hair framed it nicely.

"N-Naruto-kun...?" she stuttered back. Inwardly I smirked, thanking my Grandfather for teaching me how to use my Pheromones on specific targets. As she succumbed to my pheromone's effects, I looked her over for the slightest bit of information.

Her left bang nearly hid a small speck of dirt just outside of her ear from my eyes. On her wrist was a mark that was faint. A cross imprint? No, doesn't fit with a mermaid profile. A net mark! Ah, she was nearly caught last summer; I'll have to check on her once I find the golem. Hmm, oh, her shell has been replaced with a conch on her necklace! She's officially in that feeding phase, then. Better play it careful.

"So, Tamao-chan," I started, snapping the mermaid from her thoughts, "I'd like to sign up for the Swimming Club."

"R-Really!-Um, er, I mean, really?" her enthusiastic response dropped into one of attempted sultry. Behind me, I felt a pair of glares whizz by my head and straight at Tamao. Intriguing...

"Yes, and I'd also bet that Aono-baka would like to too...unless of course, he'd rather join the Kay-rah-tae club," I said, dragging the puissant into my conversation. Tamao glanced past my shoulder uninterestedly at the boy, giving him a once over before looking back at me with (what appeared to be) lust in her eyes.

"I'm sure the other girls will enjoy his company, Naruto-kun," Tamao purred. I chuckled to myself at her seductive attempt. Although much more effective than Kurono's attempts, Tamao's still didn't leave enough of an impact to make me think, Hmm, maybe this mermaid will make a good mate?

Then again, a species that requires the mates to mate in the water, a dance that 98 percent of the time kills the male participant, might only know how to be mothers-in-mourning...Ah, well, a thought to stew on.

I picked the clipboard up and wrote my name down, followed by a number that I then tore from the sheet, giving to the blushing girl before me. As she took the paper from my hand, I pulled her closer and whispered harshly in her ear; "If I don't approach you before four, meet me in this room I've specified."

Walking away from a confused, concerned and aroused mermaid with a stern look on my face, I missed the harsh words traded between the Succubus and said fish-woman. I also missed the way that Akashiya had 'lost' Aono in a crowd as she tried to follow me.

Key word being tried.

It was fifteen minutes since I signed up for the swim club and I was investigating the swimming pools' nearby shacks. The first four, at a glance, were normal, neat, tidy, and clean of any foul play and/or evidence. The last was the one that got my immediate attention, however. The windows were filthy from the inside. Multiple footprints could be seen behind the building, and bodies of some male students were visible as their limbs stuck out from below the surface.

Yeah, I had a feeling this was where the Golem was.

"Tito," I called as I strolled towards the shack, "Oh, Tito~!"

Expectedly, a clump of rock, mud, and soil soared over my head. A warning. I felt the grin cross my face. This dirt man has no idea what he's dealing with. I feigned an apologetic sigh (inwardly, I was screaming in glee at the prospect of a proper fight), before shucking my jacket from my shoulders.

"Come out, Tito," I called again, before my voice hardened, "Come out...Golem!"

The door to the shack shot off its hinges as it was kicked away. I sidestepped the wooden craft, not removing my eyes from the shack's shadowed entrance, before returning to my previous position and crossing my arms.

"Tito...You've been a naughty, naughty boy..." I chastised, getting a guttural shriek for a response, "Well, now, that's just rude! You want to be that nasty, at least come out and say it to my face!"

"Hey, who are you?" a voice called, stopping another shriek in the middle of its cry. I turned to see a purple haired girl, possibly a year older than myself, step into the clearing. Her height was just a few inches shorter than my own, making it equal to that of Akashiya, but her chest was a little lacking in any attraction value however. She wore the standard Academy swimsuit with a floral skirt tied at her waist. She looked at the shack and scowled before glaring at me, "What are you doing to Ti-koi?"

I arched a brow, glancing to the shack before returning my attention to her, "I've been hired to find Tito-san and return him. You will order him out here and he will come with me. Understood?"

Now, had I been a complete imbecile, that sentence would have been much more vulgar, angry/frustrated, and threatening. But I am a professional, hence why I had used a dominant tone, stern wording, and a forceful release of yokai.

The girl swallowed heavily, "T-Ti-koi! Help me!"

I allowed the briefest of smirks to cross my face before turning to face my opponent-to-be and cracking my neck.

To Be Continued...

AN: Ah, to update a crossover relieves me like no one can believe...Please do review.

...No, seriously: REVIEW!