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A Burden Halved
Minerva considered her reflection. The witch in the mirror looked back at her critically, as if the only thing on her mind was her appearance. Minerva shifted her robes and frowned, smoothing her hair out of her face.
She had not dressed up. Really. Her robes were casual, comfortable. They were warm and practical. There was nothing at all remarkable about them, unless one accounted for the fact that they were not teaching robes. She rolled her shoulders and looked at herself again.
She was wearing dark maroon robes and her black dragonskin gloves, with her soft black cloak ready and waiting by the door. Her hair, to her own surprise, was in a simple, thick plait down her back. She wore no more make-up than usual, nor had she applied any glamour charms.
This was not a date.
'Very nice,' her old mirror wheezed approvingly. Minerva hated the thing, but she had never bothered to change it to one that was not enchanted. The wizened female voice talked to Minerva like she was her grandmother – and Minerva could very well attest to the fact that her own grandmother had been nothinglike that.
Minerva extinguished the flames in the fireplace and shut the curtains with a wave of her wand just as there was a knock at the door. She opened it with a flick of her wand before stowing it in her robes and picking up her cloak. She met Dumbledore at the door.
'You look lovely, Minerva,' he greeted her lavishly, dressed in midnight blue robes and a smile. She returned the smile and stepped out into the corridor, the door closing behind her automatically.
'Thank you,' she replied. Albus had told her nothing of what he had planned for the evening except to tell her that muggle clothes would not be necessary.
Once they had reached Hogsmeade, which was unusually empty for a Friday night, Dumbledore offered Minerva his arm. She raised her eyebrows in question.
'I wish our location to remain secret for as long as possible,' he explained, eyes twinkling. 'If you have a strong aversion to Side-Along Apparition that I am of as of yet unaware of, then I shall of course disclose the surprise.'
'Don't be ridiculous,' Minerva said sternly, taking his arm, but the small smile on her face betrayed her amusement. Albus laughed outright and tucked her hand more firmly in his arm.
'Here we go, then,' he said, and turned. Minerva closed her eyes and focused on stepping into the crushing darkness, now very familiar, hoping to aid him but trusting that she would arrive intact.
Minerva opened her eyes when the pressure had lifted and looked around. She did not recognize the location but thought that they must still be in Scotland, for long-distance Apparition was tricky at the best of times, but with a companion nearly impossible.
Minerva noticed some lights not far off and narrowed her eyes. The sun was just setting and the violent red and orange colours seemed to be reflecting off something. Then she really looked, and shapes jumped out at her as a building came into her view.
Minerva had just opened her mouth to ask Albus where they were when she caught sight of a sign above the door of the window. With a quiet non-verbal spell, she was able to bring the indiscernible letters into focus. When she saw what they spelled, she laughed out loud.
Dumbledore smiled to hear Minerva laugh. He had thought she might enjoy this place in particular, due to her connection to it – and his.
It was a small, quiet restaurant that his friend Elphias Doge's aunt had once owned. Albus had met Minerva here once, purely by accident, some fifty years ago before she worked at Hogwarts. It hadn't been entirely coincidental in that Minerva's Grandmother Leitis and Elphias' Aunt Ethyl had been good friends before their peaceful demise. Minerva's grandmother had recommended the place to her granddaughter, and so she had come with her brother.
'I was thinking about my grandmother just before you arrived, actually,' Minerva said as they began the short trek to the restaurant.
Albus chuckled. 'She was quite the woman, wasn't she?' Minerva had yet to release his arm, but he certainly wasn't complaining.
'That's certainly one way to put it,' Minerva replied. 'Grandmother was revolutionary for her time.'
If Minerva hadn't noticed the fact that her hand had slid down to his, Albus was more than happy to allow that oversight. 'Will you order fish?' he enquired, changing the subject.
Minerva scowled at him. 'As a matter of fact, no,' she said, elbowing him in the side. 'Simply because I happened to be eating that particular dish at this particular restaurant when I told you of my Animagus transformation…' she let the sentence trail off.
'Of course, dear,' Albus said, jokingly placating her, automatically squeezing her hand. He wondered if the blush that suffused her face in the next moment was because she'd realized they been holding hands, or because his term of endearment made them sound like Molly and Arthur Weasley – an old married couple. Either way, he was more than a little disappointed when she dropped his hand and her normal colouring returned.
Entering the restaurant found it to be sparsely populated with only three or four other couples – all of whom, Albus noticed, were of the romantic sort. Did he have an ulterior motive bringing Minerva here?
If Minerva objected, she said nothing, but looked around the warm room fondly. 'I'd forgotten about this place,' she said quietly.
'Welcome to Fairy Lights,' said a voice (in heavy accent rather like Hagrid's) behind them. Albus turned and faced an elderly woman with a kind face. 'Jus' the two o' you?' She did not comment on Albus' presence other than a customary smile for him and for Minerva.
'Yes, thank you,' Albus replied, and she led them to a small, circular booth on the second floor of the building.
'The view, it is simply the bes' from up 'ere,' she explained, as there had been more than enough tables on the floor below, pointing to a window. Albus thought that she had a rather knowing smile on her face as she ushered them into the comfortable booth, seating them next to each other around a circular table.
After assuring them that she would be back for drinks and orders, the woman left, her heels clicking as she went back downstairs. There was a moment of silence.
'Minerva?' Albus said, looking at her. She looked up at him. 'Thank you for coming.'
'The pleasure is mine,' she returned after a moment. There was another comfortable pause, and then they turned to their menus.
An hour later, Albus Dumbledore leaned back against the booth, laughing. Minerva had just finished off her meal, including appetizer, salad, steak and kidney pie, side dish, and was halfway through her serving of Scottish shortbread. However, she was still on her first glass of wine.
The evening had gone very well, in Albus' opinion. While they hadn't really gotten around to talking about Minerva yet, he knew that their light-hearted conversation had helped her to relax. Hopefully, she would talk to him – though he wasn't very worried. The conversation had been mainly about safe topics: Quidditch, the students, a new article in Transfiguration Today.
Finally, after Minerva took a sip of wine, Albus prepared to bring up the subject. Always capable of surprising him, Minerva beat him to it.
'You've been very patient, Albus,' she said, offering him a slight smile, which, naturally, made him feel horrible for having been about to bring it up. She sighed. 'What is it you want to know?'
Albus took her hands. The intimate movement felt natural, somehow. 'There is nothing I want to know, Minerva,' he said gently. 'I have only noticed how stressed you have been recently, and I had hoped you might allow me to help you. A burden shared is a burden halved.'
'I don't know,' Minerva said after a moment, pulling her hands from his to take a gulp of wine. She surprised him again by (seemingly) subconsciously offering her hands to him again. He took them. Then, she spoke, tartly and rapidly.
'I suppose it started with Connor,' she said, a frown creasing her face, not noticing that Albus' expression mirrored hers, 'when he first arrived, very confident and unchanged. I felt particularly uncomfortable knowing that he was working with me, knowing that he, at some point, would attempt to re-establish our relationship. I felt bad for Trudy, because I am fond of her, and I didn't wish to hurt Connor, because, by extension, I'd hurt her.'
'I will also admit,' Minerva continued, taking a deep breath, 'to having been very worried that Connor's arrival – and later confrontation – would have the effect of ruining…well, of ruining what we have,' she said quickly, turning her head to hide a flush of her skin. 'You and I, I mean. I never seem to be able to penetrate that through your head, Albus.' She looked at him, her sharp eyes focused on his. 'Do you realize now that nothing can jeopardize our relationship?'
Albus' heart constricted at the thought that he had been the cause of at least some of her anxiety. 'Yes, Minerva, of course. You mean very much to me, my dear.'
To his surprise, as it seemed to be a habit this evening, Minerva did not blush. She only nodded, looking satisfied. 'Good. I can then also tell you, seeing as I'm sure you noticed, that my Boggart had changed?'
Albus nodded earnestly. 'I was admittedly very curious, but you seemed shaken at the moment, and later, I did not wish to pry.'
'It wouldn't have been prying,' Minerva reassured him. 'In any case, I can tell you what happened with the dog.' She breathed deeply for a moment.
'It is nothing particularly unique, I'll admit. It attacked me, then Bran. I killed it by binding it with ropes, and then choking it. I transfigured the body into a tree branch and threw it away. I managed to take Bran to the nearest hospital, and we both lived. I've certainly survived far more traumatic events.'
Albus felt his brow furrow. 'Forgive me, Minerva, but that is not the usual structure stories adhere to when discussing one's worst fears.'
'You are forgiven,' Minerva said briskly, making him laugh despite the seriousness of the situation. 'It took only an instant after I noticed the change to understand what had happened, what my worst fear is.' She took another sip of wine.
'My parents were killed when I was young, as I'm sure you know. I have no other family besides my brother. The thought, however fleeting, that he might die, was enough to seriously shock me. I cannot lose my brother, for he is all that I have left. That is what I thought.' Minerva raised her eyes to his.
'But that is not true, not in the least. Now I have Hogwarts. I have my students and my friends, and that is enough.' She took another deep breath. 'It is more than just enough, though. It is what I need. I cannot lose them any more than I can lose my brother…any more than I can lose you.'
Albus thought time had stopped.
'That dog is the embodiment of the threat of losing those I love,' Minerva said seriously. 'That is my greatest fear, and it impacted me so heavily I took longer than I should have to recover. My worst fear may take on an odd shape when I am confronted with a Boggart, but they are flawed, and that is how it happens.'
Albus swallowed, moving for the first time in minutes.
'I am a teacher,' Minerva said, 'first and foremost.'
There was a moment of silence before Minerva continued. 'After seeing that fear, which is never easy, the surprise of seeing Bran was almost funny in its irony.' Albus nodded again, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder. She smiled.
'Anyway, I apologize if I seem more tense than usual. I am not at all accustomed to having my life in constant chaos.' Minerva had absolutely no intention to share any concerns she may or may not have had about her feelings for him. One did not go around telling things like that to one's superior.
Minerva raised her wine glass and finished it in one go. Albus was still looking at her intently, his eyes seeming to slice straight through her – piercing her heart. She ignored this.
'I am very fond of you, Minerva,' Albus said after a moment. 'Leaving you was one of the hardest trials of faking my death.' Minerva swallowed, noticing he had used 'you' instead of 'everyone'.
Minerva clicked her fingers, and her wine glass refilled. 'Here's to never faking your death again,' she said, holding the glass aloft in a toast.
For a moment, she feared he might smile sadly and refuse the toast, but he smiled and clinked his glass to hers.
'To never truly leaving those we love,' Albus toasted back, blue eyes smouldering. They did not drop each other's gaze as they drank, placing their glasses on the table after taking a sip.
It was then that Albus felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her.
Never one to refuse impulses like those, Albus leaned forwards slightly, his eyes on hers, seeking not permission, but a lack of refusal. Minerva wet her lips, allowing the movement, and he leaned ever closer…
Footsteps echoed up the staircase, alerting Albus to unwanted company. Not willing to kiss Minerva in front of an audience, Albus leaned back, smiling happily at Minerva, who seemed strangely flustered.
A customer wandered up the stairs, looking around. 'Know where the loo is?' he called to Albus amicably.
'Downstairs by the kitchen,' Albus answered cheerfully.
'Thanks, mate,' the wizard called. Then, to Minerva's utter disbelief, he called, 'Sorry if I interrupted somethin',' and winked. Minerva's face flushed and she scowled, an expression Albus found strangely adorable – not at all a description one usually applied to his elegant deputy.
Albus, far from being irritated, was filled with anticipation. Sometime soon, he knew, he was going to kiss Minerva McGonagall.
Minerva accepted Albus' help with her cloak as she pulled it around herself. They'd been at the restaurant nearly four hours before their waitress had unwillingly told them that they were closing soon.
As the door closed behind them and they walked down the path, Minerva felt a strange reluctance to leave. There was a short path just ahead of them that she knew led in a circle, and suggested taking it.
'That's a lovely idea, Minerva,' Albus said with a smile that convinced her of his honesty. 'I confess I am somewhat unwilling to leave just yet.'
They were halfway around before Minerva realized that she hadn't told Albus part of what was bothering her. She fell silent for a moment in contemplation, but Albus made up her mind for her.
'My scrutiny of your behaviour of the past fifteen seconds has permitted me to observe that you are troubled, Minerva,' said Albus. Minerva half-laughed (Albus had never heard her laugh so much in one night) and shook her head.
'It's nothing, really,' she said. 'I'm simply being overprotective.' She frowned in thought. 'According to Connor,' she said, deciding to tell him, and not noticing Albus' slight stiffening as she said Connor's name, 'Trudy rather fancies my brother.'
Albus felt equal parts amused, empathetic, and incredulous. Was it possible for one witch to have so much to deal with? 'Oh dear,' he said, not quite knowing the appropriate reaction and deciding that it was the safest thing to say.
Minerva saw right through it and arched an eyebrow. '"Oh dear?"' she repeated. 'That's your observation? My, I feel so much better already. Albus Dumbledore has imparted some great wisdom today, indeed. The world may reach its end, and Albus Dumbledore, greatest wizard of the age, says 'Oh dear.'' Albus laughed, hard, and put his hand on her shoulder to steady himself. She regarded him, chin raised in mock severity, frowning; her sparkling eyes betrayed her.
'Minerva,' Albus said, nearly gasping with laughter, 'Minerva, whatever would I do without you?' She shook her head.
'Fall apart, I expect,' Minerva answered promptly. 'Go on, then. Do you have anything useful to say?'
Albus shrugged, still grinning. 'What would you like me to say, Minerva? When it comes to love, what does age matter, perhaps? Or, who are we to interfere with fate and destiny? Perhaps it is foreseen?' Minerva rolled her eyes.
'Don't start spouting that Divination nonsense,' she scolded him, 'or I am afraid you will find yourself lacking in company.'
'You wouldn't leave me, would you, Minerva?' Albus asked, doing his best to look pathetic. 'I would be helpless without my deputy's organizational genius, wit, and beauty.'
'Don't flatter, Albus,' Minerva said. 'It isn't at all productive.'
'Something useful,' Albus mused. 'Well, why don't you talk to Mr McGonagall about it? I am certain he can handle it masterfully.'
'You are allowed to call him Bran,' Minerva said, arching an eyebrow. 'And I do certainly not intend to interfere. There is quite enough drama already without me making it worse.'
'It is such fun though,' Albus said cheerfully.
'You are such a child,' Minerva replied.
'You are so grown up,' Albus countered.
'Some would say that is a good thing.' Not Albus, obviously.
'I would not,' Albus replied, his eyes twinkling. This was not, Minerva noticed, moonlight reflecting off his glasses; no, this was genuine, amused light in his eyes. 'And seeing, as you so eloquently phrased it earlier, as I am the 'greatest wizard of the age', my opinion counts for more.'
'You may be the greatest, but certainly not the most modest,' Minerva returned.
'It is simply the truth,' Albus said, putting on a superior expression and looking at her disdainfully. The two looked at each for a moment before breaking into gales of laughter.
It was a good ten minutes later before they had sobered enough to notice the time. 'Is it half past eleven already?' Minerva asked, genuinely surprised. 'I had no idea it was so late.'
Albus nodded. 'We'd best be getting back. Milady?' he offered, holding out his arm with a slight bow. She took it, and a moment later, they were back in Hogsmeade. Albus walked Minerva to her chambers and kissed her cheek good night, promising to see her in the morning.
This was dangerous, Minerva thought, later that night as she prepared for bed. She was playing a dangerous game.
TBC
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