"I've heard of Eve's." Bonnie acknowledged, her mind racing. "It has quite a reputation." As a hook-up joint. It was a perfectly logical place for Joss to go to find 'some fun'. And yet, it wasn't where she'd met Reba: that much was obvious from the younger woman's suddenly tense body language. Why would she lie about where they met? Bonnie opened her mouth to ask exactly that, then closed it again. Does it matter? There was obviously something Joss didn't feel comfortable sharing. Bonnie would respect that. Joss is a friend, not one of my High School victims. Let her have her secret. I'm keeping enough of them from her.
"It's ... quite lively." Joss agreed.
"So who made the first move?" Bonnie didn't really want to know the details, but the topic was like a scab: she couldn't help picking at it.
"I did." Joss rested her chin on her hand, looking relaxed again as the conversation moved away from the topic of where she and Reba had met. "I noticed her straight away. She stood out 'cause of how she was dressed."
"Oh? Something sexy?" The older woman just about managed to keep the hostility out of her voice.
The younger woman chuckled. "Nope. Like I said ... Eve's -" there was the moment of discomfort about the location, again. "- is pretty lively. There's always a lot of flesh on display. I noticed Reba because she was wearin' a business suit. She'd been at dinner for the conference she was at, then she'd come straight to the club."
"A conference? Something for her work?"
"She's a dentist, so I didn't ask too many questions about what the conference was about." Joss wrinkled her nose. "It was probably for somethin' like gum disease. Not really 'first date' conversation material."
"I guess not." Bonnie managed a chuckle of her own, even as she felt her heart sink at the word 'date'. "So you approached her?"
Joss nodded. "Yeah. We got to talking ... hung out together at the club for a few hours ... then went back to her hotel and talked some more."
"Just talked? I thought ..." You were after 'some fun'.
"Well, there was some ... cuddlin'." Joss glanced down, looking almost bashful. "But nothing more ... not yet, anyway. I ... I just feel that if ya want more'n a fling, y'should take things a little more slowly. It's like with bikes ... going full throttle from the start makes for a fun ride, but it can also make for a short one."
Despite herself, Bonnie laughed. "Tell me you didn't just compare romance to riding a motorbike?"
The younger woman grinned. "I'm a scientist, not a poet."
"I can see why." The former cheerleader couldn't resist the gentle barb, but her mind was already turning to less playful topics. "So ... uh, is this the first time you've been interested in more than just a fling?"
Joss shook her head. "No ... if things with Reba work out, it'll be the third time I've been serious about someone."
"Third?" At your age?
The younger woman gave a soft chuckle at Bonnie's surprise. "Don't worry, I don't fall as fast or as often as that makes it sound." She paused and drummed her fingers on the table for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't wanna bore you with this stuff -"
"I'm not bored." Bonnie waved away the suggestion. Even if we didn't say a word, I wouldn't be bored. "So ... numbers one and two ... high school sweetheart and college romance?"
Joss gave another soft snort of laughter. "Somethin' like that." She admitted. "I met my first girlfriend when I was seven ... not that she was my girlfriend then, o' course ... that came later."
"I guessed as much." Bonnie let her lips curl up into a playful smile. "Seven years old seemed a little precocious, even for you."
"Thanks ... I think." Joss's tone was dry. "Her folks bought the old Parker place next to our ranch. Some kind of mid-life crisis, 'back to the earth' kinda deal. I met Saffy when they came over to ask my dad to help them home school her -"
"Saffy?"
"Short for Saffron. Saffron Ruby Clough. Her parents picked the names because she was so precious to them -" Joss caught Bonnie's raised eyebrows and grinned. "- yeah, the Cloughs were ..."
"Hippies?"
Joss cocked her head to one side and grinned. "I was gonna say 'new age', but 'hippies' is probably close enough."
"So you guys were home-schooled together."
"We pretty much did everything together. Apart from a couple of summers where her folks dragged her off on these 'experience the real America' road-trips, Saffy and I were pretty much inseparable for ..." Joss quickly counted off on her fingers. "... close to nine years."
"Wow ... that's a long time."
"Well, we weren't a couple for most of that." Joss gave a teasing grin. "Not until the coupla years or so ... I mean ... I knew by the time I was eleven that I liked Saffy in a different way than any of my other friends ... but ..."
"But?" Bonnie prompted, her curiosity piqued.
"... well, I was scared." Joss admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "What if Saffy didn't feel how I felt? What if she thought it was disgusting?" There was a vehemence to that last word that took Bonnie by surprise. What's that about? "I was petrified of losing what we had."
"So how did you get over it?"
Joss chuckled, and took a sip of water. "I didn't. It was Saffy who made the first move ... she was a year older ... maybe a little wiser, a little more sure of herself ... or maybe the fact that I was making goo-goo eyes at her all the time gave her a hint." The Montanan chuckled and shook her head ruefully. "I was never much good at hidin' my feelings."
Funny. I'm an expert at it.
"So when did this happen?"
"My thirteenth birthday." Joss waggled her eyebrows. "You could say I gotta bit more than a peck on the cheek for my birthday kiss."
"So I guess you weren't ever 'sweet sixteen and never been kissed'?"
"... I'd done a lot more than kissin' by the time I was sixteen." The younger woman gave a cheeky grin. Then the smile faded, and she shook her head. "Saffy and I ... it was your classic first love, I guess ... we were convinced we'd be together forever."
"We don't have to talk about this ..." Bonnie offered again. "I don't want to dredge up painful -"
"It's okay." Joss waved the offer away, then gave a soft sigh. "Saffy and me ... it's in the past. I just ... still feel a bit guilty about the way things ended between us."
"Oh." Bonnie wasn't sure what to say. She knew what she wanted to ask. But do I want to hear the answer?
Joss sighed again, and gave a rueful half-smile. "It's not as bad as I just made it sound. At least, I don't think it is. I didn't cheat on her, if that's what you're thinkin'."
"Oh." Bonnie said again, feeling a little foolish after she'd done so. "That's good. So ... what did happen?"
"I went away to college."
"The long-distance thing didn't work out?"
"Actually, we handled that stage of things pretty well." The younger woman drummed her fingers on the table, obviously considering how to explain herself. "It was when I came back home ... after finishin' my degree, but before startin' my doctorate ... that things had changed." She paused, then shook her head. "No, not 'things'. Me. I changed."
Joss was silent for a moment after saying that, and Bonnie almost prompted her to continue. No. Give her space. Instead of speaking, the older woman leaned forward and poured a small splash of wine into the Montanan's now-empty water glass.
"Thanks." The younger woman took a sip, then raised her eyebrows in silent question.
"Special occasion. You looked like you needed it." Bonnie waved a finger in mock admonition. "Don't expect this to be a regular thing, young lady."
"No ma'am." Joss stuck out her tongue, giving a slight chuckle and looking a little more relaxed. "You remember I talked about how Saffy and I thought we'd be together forever?" She waited for Bonnie's answering nod, then continued. "Well, before I'd gone away to college, we'd talked about our future ... we'd made plans ... about how I'd come home after I finished school, and we'd work together on my dad's ranch, and have a commitment ceremony, then kids -"
"Kids?" Bonnie blinked, "But ..." She trailed off. "That's a big step, isn't it? Especially so young."
"By the time I finished school, Saffy would have been eighteen. She would have had our first. A year or two later, I would have had our second."
"You were going to have one of the kids?"
Joss nodded emphatically. "Havin' a kid is definitely somethin' I wanted to do. I still want t'do it, one day."
"Really?" Bonnie considered this, then shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for that."
Joss's eyes widened. "Are you kiddin'? You'd make a great mom."
The older woman made a non-committal grunt, not wanting to argue about families. The less I think about mine, the happier I am.
"So ... what ..." Bonnie trailed off, unsure how to frame the question.
"What went wrong?" Joss sighed. "I changed my mind. My second year o' college was the first time I'd been away from home f'more than a few days. I'd just turned sixteen and suddenly realized how much was out there in the world. NASA had just talked to me to the first time, about what I might do once I'd finished my studies. I mean ... my ultimate plans were still the same ... one day I wanted t'go back to the ranch and raise some kids of my own ... it was just ... I felt like I'd had my eyes opened to how much else there was out there to see and do, first. I told Saffy that after my Doctorate, I wanted to spend a few years workin' and travelin', before we settled down."
"That seems reasonable enough ... Saffy didn't agree?"
"Saffy didn't want to travel ... she didn't want to wait for children. She wanted to do what we'd agreed."
Bonnie frowned. "That doesn't seem very fair of her."
"We'd made plans. Promises to one another. I was the one who was changin' things."
"You were sixteen!" Bonnie protested. "Change is natural at that age. Hell, I've definitely changed since I was sixteen, and that's a damn good thing."
"Maybe." Joss didn't look convinced, but then she shrugged. "She said that t'her, it felt like me sayin' 'I want to wait' meant 'I'm not sure about us'. Maybe wasn't ... I dunno. Anyway ... I knew I wasn't ready to settle down, and Saffy wasn't willin' to wait, so we ended up splittin'."
"Are you still in touch?"
"... kinda." Joss looked a little pensive. "Saffy's folks still live in the ranch next t' my dad, so he hears a bit about what she's doin' ... she's met someone new and they're expectin' their first child in a couple months. So, I guess in the end she got what she wanted ... just not with me."
"You weren't ready." Bonnie protested.
"Are you ever ready for kids?" The Montanan raised her eyebrows.
"I'm not the one to ask."
"I'm tellin' ya, you'll make a great mom one day."
"Maybe." The older woman decided to change the subject. "So that was your first big relationship ... what about your second?"
"Ah ..." Joss cleared her throat, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "I'm about tapped out f'talkin', t'be honest. Is it okay if I just say that I met someone while I was doin' my Doctorate, but that after six months together, it turned out we wanted different things?"
"Sure. This is a conversation, not an inquisition." Big red flag on that one. Definitely a bad break-up. The former cheerleader stood, gathering up the empty plates. Time to change the subject. "Are you full, or do you think you could squeeze in some pumpkin pie?"
"Oh man That sounds temptin'." Joss leaned back in her chair and pulled up her t-shirt far enough to slap her flat expanse of stomach. "Give me five minutes to let this settle and I think maybe I can squeeze in a small slice."
In the end, the Montanan found the room for not just one, but two decent-sized slices of pie, though the second came with the rueful remark that she might end up the same shape as the titular ingredient.
It was after ten by the time Joss finally left through the front door, the vast pot of chili once more in her arms. They'd just said their goodbyes, and Bonnie was about to close the door, when the younger woman turned back.
"Listen," she cocked her head to one side. "I meant what I said earlier about not f'getting' yer friends just 'cos ya got a new romance in yer life. I wanna make sure we keep some time aside to stay in touch. So ... do ya wanna make this a regular thing? Wednesday nights, I mean? We don't have to do dinner every week. We can catch a movie or somethin', instead. Whatever you like."
"Sure. That'd be good. I'll check the listings on the weekend and let you know if there's anything I want to see."
"Great." Joss grinned. "It's a date."
If only.
Author's Note: A little more information about Reba, and a bunch more about Joss's past. Plus I got to use my number one favorite pun name ever (at least for this week).
Off to Darwin next week, for a 5-day holiday. Not sure what impact, if any, this will have on my writing output. But it can't be any more adverse than buying new computer games has been, of late :)