Hey people!
Hikari Kame, Wyntirsno, ItsASuiteLife, SofterThanMagic: I'm so glad you liked the first chapter and I hope you won't be disappointed with this one!
I think this chapter will show you how much, or little, Cody knows. Yet, anyway.
If you want to know: This story will probably have about 10 chapters plus epilogue. Some of the chapters are already written, but I don't write them in the right order and I don't write complete chapters, so the updates won't be at quite regular intervals. But I'll try not to keep you guys waiting for too long, I promise!
The next two chapters are already written and I only have to re-read them a little.
Apropos the next chapters. The first two chaps are rather soft-written. They are mostly meant to show the reader how Zack feels, without anything actually happening. Chapter 4 and 5 will be dedicated to one event and its implications, and they will be a little less everyday-life-like. This story will have a generous amount of drama in the later chapters, but don't worry, I don't want to reduce my characters to miserable Gary-Stus whose only characteristic is how they can suffer, and I'll go for a sort of drama that is realistic and not too overused. I don't want you to fall asleep while reading my story! ^^
Now read and enjoy!
***************************************CPOV******************************************
„Zackary Martin! Get your lazy butt over here and clean this mess up! "
Mom was furious. She only used our full names once in a half year. Well, actually, I couldn't remember the last time she had called me 'Cody Martin'. Not that she was never mad at me, although far less often than at Zack. It just didn't sound as good.
"If you aren't here in-"
"Alright alright I'm coming!"
The door to our room was opened and Zack entered, looking extremely cool.
Mom glared at him with poisonous eyes, which caused him to shield his eyes with one hand and walk to the couch as quickly as possible. The couch was covered in little pieces of some snack I didn't even want to know what it was called.
As a loving, helpful, and obliging twin, I tossed him a wet towel. Unfortunately, it landed on his head. He attempted to glare at me, but to do so, he had to look at Mom's direction, so he turned away and started cleaning.
"You are supposed to clean it up, not eat it!"
I grimaced. He ate everything he could lay his hands on. Once, he ate a gum that was sticking to a school desk. He could even tell that, once upon a time, it had been mint flavor. I got nightmares after that, and I never ate bubble gum again.
"Uh-uh, you're not done, my friend! There is still pretty much left on the floor!"
Zack made a small whimpering sound and got down on his knees to clean the floor, too. Mom didn't take her eyes off him. She stood there, a few steps from me, with her hands on her hips, and supervised his every move. You could almost feel sorry for him.
After a while and a few more comments, he was actually done and walked to the trash can, still avoiding meeting Mom's gaze.
"And now, we are going to check inside your shelves, and under your bed, and in your socks!" She announced, already heading towards the bedroom door.
"Er… You might wonna leave out the…"
"Zip it, mister!"
Zack gave me a terrified look before bucking his head and following her into the room. She started pulling everything out of his closet and throwing it to the floor. It wasn't long until I heard a shriek.
"Now is that a piece of pizza…?" Zack's voice said in an attempt to sound surprised.
"Yes. And it's moving!" Mom's voice was a whole octave higher than usual. I jumped towards the sink in case I had to puke. I had already wondered where that smell came from. "Get rid of all this stuff NOW! I am going to get some bacteria killer spray and by the time I'm back, I don't want to have to use it!"
She made her way back to the living room. Then something seemed to occur to her. "And don't eat that pizza!"
"I wasn't going to!" Zack seemed honestly offended. "It has tuna fish on it!"
Mom snorted. She came over to me, hugged me, and buried her nose in my hair.
"Uh… Mom? Everything OK with you?"
She let go of me and hurried towards the door. "I just needed to get rid of the smell of those socks," she explained, "Love you!"
"Love you too!" I called.
"Love you too!" Zack's voice came from the bedroom.
Mom hesitated in the door. "Yeah, you, too," she finally said, "But only if your room is clean when I come back!" Then she left.
"Oh boy," Zack said.
After a little thinking, I decided to ask him what the matter was.
"I just found your homework," He answered.
"Aaaaand…???" He didn't ruin it, he didn't ruin it, he didn't ruin it! , I thought desperately.
"Uh… It's kinda covered in tomato soup…"
"You ruined it!" I shouted angrily and rushed into the room.
My five-paged essay on the correct feeding of a baby chipmunk had a big, fat splotch of tomato soup on it. There was absolutely no way I could give it to our biology teacher like that. I'd have to re-write it.
I looked up at Zack's face and for one brief moment, I thought I saw real contrition on it. But while I was still staring at him, he put on a grin. It was the sort of grin I hated on him because he always grinned it right before getting very annoying.
"You know," He suggested, "If you don't want it anymore, I wouldn't mind the soup!"
I loved my brother. I really did. But it was moments like this that I wanted nothing more than to be an only-child.
***************************************ZPOV******************************************
I couldn't sleep. I didn't know what it was – maybe it was too warm or too cold or too tidy or I was just too much awake.
Silently, I rolled over to my other side. I did it silently because I didn't want to wake Cody. I liked listening to his quiet, soft breathing. I liked looking at his sleeping face. When he was sleeping, he looked even more angelic than usual, if that was possible.
There were many reasons why I liked sleeping and this was one of them. When lying in bed awake, I always got too damn sappy. Okay, I got that about every time I saw Cody. Which was, naturally, often. And yes, it made me sappy, but happy, too. Being around him made me feel all different. The feeling could not be compared to anything else. I dared to call it love.
It was a good thing that I had never been a good boy. If I was, I couldn't have been okay with myself. I was aware that I was breaking a law. I was aware that a love like this was a social taboo. But I didn't care as long as I could wake up in the morning to face another day full of Cody.
I didn't remember the day when I realized I was in love with my twin brother. I guessed that was because there had never been such a day. But I did remember the day when I had first thought about it rationally. I had been shocked, and I had been overwhelmed, but I hadn't been repulsed or disgusted. It was too great.
Of course I knew there was no way Cody and I could ever be together, even if he wanted to, which was close to impossible. Cody was a good boy. He would never become gay, let alone fall in love with me. Strangely, I wasn't sad about it. I was happy with my situation like it was. Sometimes I'd dream about what we could have, but I didn't really hope for anything. I may be dumb, but not that dumb.
My worst nightmare, however, was much more realistic: That someone could see the way I felt about my twin brother. I couldn't say how many times I had seen the reactions in my sleep – Mom and Dad's faces, Bob's, Jake's. And Cody's beautiful face, a grimace of shock and disgust.
At that point, I'd wake up and find that I was lying somewhere on the floor, feeling cold, uncomfortable, and horrified. I'd climb back onto my bed, shivering, and stare up at the blanket just like I did now, until, in the early morning, I'd finally fall asleep again.
I couldn't let this happen. That was why I had to be very careful. I had to treat him the way I had always treated him. I had to play pranks on him and act like I thought I was better than him. I had to pick on him and trick him into doing things, like earlier that day. I had to keep myself from staring at him, except for when he was sleeping, and being too happy about his kindness.
But the real problem, and the only one I felt really embarrassed by, was that my heart wasn't the only part of me that belonged, and reacted, to Cody. I think you know what I am talking about. There was a reason why I never showered in the mornings, always dressed while my brother was in the bathroom, and for a couple of other necessities.
At first, I had wished for it to stop, but not anymore. This love was complicated, it was hopeless, and it brought many problems. But still, I had never felt so good before. I had never loved anyone so hard, and somehow I knew that it would never go away. I was glad about that, even if it meant I had to spend my whole life single.
***************************************CPOV******************************************
I couldn't say why I woke up. I couldn't say that I woke up at all. At some point, I just realized that I wasn't asleep anymore. That was strange, because I usually fell asleep in the evening right after I laid down and woke up seconds before my alarm clock rang.
So I started wondering why I was awake. My brain was feeling weird, like somebody had turned it halfway into a cloud, and the wondering took quite a while. After a few minutes – or hours, I couldn't tell – I realized that I didn't know.
The next thing I remember is that I suddenly was aware that Zack wasn't sleeping, either. Now, there was a lot to think about: How did I know that? Had he woken me up? Why was he not asleep? I still didn't find any answers. After a while, it occurred to me that I could just ask him.
"Zack?"
He made a funny sound. Obviously, he had been engrossed in thought.
"Cody! You awake?"
"Yes," I said. A voice inside my head told me that this was a stupid answer, and that I should think of something else to say, but I didn't pay attention.
Both Zack and I were silent for a little while. All you could hear was the sound of our breathing.
"Did I wake you?" Zack finally asked. His tone was apologetic. Something in me was bothered by this tone, but I couldn't figure out what it was or why it was alarmed.
"No," I said. Then, I realized that an explanation would probably be nice. I just didn't have one. "I don't know why I woke up." On some lower level, I was relieved that I could form complete sentences.
Suddenly, I noticed that I was lying with my back to my brother. Somehow I knew that was impolite, so I rolled over to face him. He was resting on his elbows, eyeing me with a funny look. The something twisted, making me feel slightly nauseous.
"Cody?"
"Mmm?"
"You should get back to sleep."
"Mmm…"
He was right, no doubt. I closed my eyes and pulled my blanket closer around my body. The little something kept telling me that there was something very important I needed to think through, but I was too tired for any more thinking. Thinking was exhausting. Sleeping was easy… So wonderfully easy… I would save thinking for tomorrow…
I was almost asleep – or actually, I had been almost sure I was already asleep – when I heard I soft whisper flying across the room.
"Sweet dreams, sleeping beauty," The whisper whispered. The something twisted and turned inside of me, constantly telling me something was very, very wrong here, but I was already drifting away, to a place where it couldn't reach me.
****************************************ZPOV*****************************************
"Sweet dreams, sleeping beauty…"
Slowly, I lay down again. Why had Cody woken up? He never did, and I should know. Did something bother him? Would he wake up again?
If he did, I'd have to be careful at night, too. I couldn't take the risk of him waking up and having me stare at him. On the other hand, I doubted that he would have minded being stared at by me tonight. He had been half asleep.
The memory made me smile. He was so cute when he was sleepy. Usually, he was fully awake the moment he opened his eyes in the morning. Maybe I should wake him more often. I was still wondering about that when sleep finally caught up with me.