Chapter Twelve: Complicated

He had made one of her dreams come true. She was going to Shiz. As much as she hated him going out of his way to do something for her using his status, this was something she would not complain about. But she didn't know how to thank him. The furniture had been one thing, but this was something different. Sure, the details hadn't been ironed out, and they had to be extremely careful not to get caught in any… amorous activity. At the moment, that wasn't too concerning. Their kisses were usually (though not always) brief, although things were intensifying, albeit slowly (which was how she liked it). It was the part about being in his bedroom. But he locked the door. She could always hide. Maybe they shouldn't see each other like that until Shiz. Elphaba laughed at the thought. Fiyero would never stand for it. And a few months was a long time.

When Fiyero's parents sat her down after lessons in the schoolroom, she already knew what it was about. But she pretended otherwise.

"Miss Elphaba, our son has had an idea. Fiyero's ideas are sometimes a little ridiculous, but this idea of his makes a lot of sense to us. He has told us how well you've been doing tutoring him and helping him prepare for the entrance exams at Shiz." Fiyero's father began.

"Fiyero is a good student, sir. He studies very hard." Elphaba almost laughed when she thought about the way that sounded to her ears, knowing what she knew. But she bit her tongue.

"He does. But he might need some, ah, assistance at Shiz. And it would be beneficial to us for you to learn more, as well, to better teach our children. The mauntery you were sent from is sending a different maunt on a sort of, ah, mission. She mentioned you in her letter, how intelligent and well-mannered you are. Anyway, she'd fill in for you for the three years you'd be at Shiz, provided that both you and Fiyero pass the entrance exams. How does that sound to you?"

Elphaba smiled her sweetest smile. "Oh, sir, that sounds wonderful. But I couldn't possibly accept. It's too kind."

"We insist," Fiyero's mother said.

"If you think it would be helpful, of course, ma'am, I would have to do as you wish." The words tasted sour in her mouth, fake and empty.

"Please do. Now, we're sure you're going to want to study as well, so we'll let you get to your studying. Promise you will keep Fiyero in line and make sure he works hard."

"Oh, don't worry, ma'am, I will."

The moment they were out of the room, Elphaba's face changed completely and she shook her head. She had never sounded so polite in her entire life. And she had never lied to the extent that she and Fiyero were lying to his parents. Part of her liked it, she was surprised to discover. Sneaking around with Fiyero was exciting and fun.

Fiyero wrapped her in his arms when he snuck into her room that night, and she didn't push him away. She couldn't push him away again, not after everything he'd done for her. And it felt so nice in his arms, so good to be touched. So she stayed there for a while. Eventually she knew she had to tell him to go back to his room. "Fiyero, you know it's getting late," she said softly.

"I know." He looked at her. "You're acting sweet tonight."

"I'm just grateful. I've wished I could go to Shiz for years, Fiyero. I can't believe it actually worked. I can't believe you did it."

"I did it for you, Elphaba. And maybe a little for me, so I can keep you near me."

"You don't need to be near me at all times, you foolish boy. Don't you go thinking that just because I'm grateful you can follow me around everywhere. And don't think it's getting you anymore than I'm ready to give."

"I don't. I didn't do it to get anything from you, except maybe your company."

"I don't think I really care why you did it, Fiyero. I'm just happy to be going." But she did care why he did it. A month ago, Elphaba had thought that maybe this would only last a little while, that they would realize this wasn't right and give up. But it was going the opposite direction she had thought it would. And now they'd have more time to explore it. As much as she wanted him, as much as she liked talking to him, she didn't relish the thought of getting attached. Clearly, he already was. And she could feel herself getting there, too. But this couldn't go on forever. She didn't care that he was to be married, but as a servant, she knew she couldn't have the feelings for him that she could if she were a princess. Ha! Her a princess. Now that was an amusing thought. She pulled out of his arms. "You really should go, Fiyero."

"You're right." He kissed her again and left. She cursed herself for letting her heart sink just a little as he snuck back out the door. Now it really was getting complicated.

She did spend her spare time studying. And more of the time she and Fiyero spent together was dedicated to studying. Both of their futures relied on it. She didn't push him away when he kissed her, but she didn't necessarily encourage it, either. They needed to focus. They needed to be careful. "Things will be easier once we get to Shiz," she promised him. The idea scared her, though. But she couldn't let him see that.

"It will. There you won't be a servant. Yes, I'll still be a prince, but not a prince with any power."

"You'll still have power. People will listen to you because of your status."

"Not to the extent they do here. My point is that maybe at Shiz you'll feel more like my equal because you'll be treated as such. I know it's not exactly easy here."

He was right. There had been moments for both of them, she knew, where they had almost forgotten themselves. When she was serving dinner, he had almost forgotten to refer to her as "Miss," which wouldn't have been as big a deal as it would've been when she almost forgot to refer to him the right way in the library one afternoon. Luckily they had never slipped, but the risk was there. "We'll see, Fiyero. I'd like it if we were still somewhat discreet. You never know who is watching. I don't mean that we have to use the formalities, but maybe any affectionate gestures should be reserved for when we're alone. Just to be safe."

He looked a little disappointed, but he saw reason. "You have a good point."

"But why are we talking about it? We still have studying to do!"

"I was right when I told my parents you'd keep me focused at Shiz, that's for sure. You are relentless."

"So are you," she laughed, "just not about the same things."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "What am I relentless about?"

"Me."

"How?"

"You know how. Now stop it."

He put a hand under her chin and kissed her. "Stop what?"

"Fiyero!"

He just gave her a boyish grin.

"You are going to drive me completely insane if you behave this way at Shiz. There is a time for that. It's not now."

"Well, give me a time and I shall be glad to stop."

"Tonight. In my room. For five minutes. That's it."

"Five minutes is not nearly enough time."

"Really? What exactly are you planning on doing that's going to take so long?" She folded her arms across her chest.

"You know I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to."

That was the problem. She wanted him to. She just wouldn't. Not here. Not in this place with the constant reminders that they shouldn't be doing what they were. And just because she wanted something didn't mean she should do it. Besides, she still didn't know what was going to happen with this. Not that it really mattered. How many chances at any sort of relationship was she going to get with the position she held and her skin, anyway? "Five minutes."

"Make it ten."

As usual, she pretended to want to disagree. "Do you want to get us in trouble?"

"I've stayed longer."

"Fine."

He always won. And he knew it, too. She hated that. She told herself it was because, despite their relationship, he was still a prince and she was still a servant. It was a flimsy excuse, but it was something.

The entrance exams were four months away. Which meant, if all went as planned, Shiz was eight months away. It was too long to wait, and yet it was too soon. Why did things have to get so complicated?