Chapter Eighteen: Having Fun

She was so angry with him. All week, as much as she had tried to pay attention in classes, she hadn't been really focused. Compared to the other students, she was overly focused, but for her, it was not nearly enough. Instead, thoughts danced through her head of Fiyero, of his hands, of his eyes. He was the most frustrating person she had ever met.

As much as she wanted to study the moment she got back to her room, she knew she'd never really be herself again until she could get him out of her system… or into her system? Maybe once it was over with, she'd be the same student she knew she had been before. So she grabbed her bag, threw some clothes in it and headed towards the door. "I'm staying at Fiyero's tonight."

"Elphaba…" Her roommate's voice was quiet, but intense.

"What is it?"

"Be careful." Galinda lowered her eyes.

She didn't understand what exactly that meant, but she nodded and walked out the door. Elphaba had her hood pulled up over her head already. In the past week or so, she'd realized it was the best way to avoid staring. People had stared in the City, but she had been out so rarely that she didn't notice. Now it was obvious. She kept her head down as she strode towards the apartment building.

The look in his eyes when he opened the door made it clear that he was waiting eagerly for the same thing she was. But she wasn't going to just declare that was the reason she was there! "Do you want to go over the homework for life sciences?"

"Um, sure. Let's do that." She followed him to the bedroom, where she pulled up a chair and sat beside him at his desk. He looked at her. "What did you think of class?"

"It was very informative. He got right to the point. Every other teacher babbled on about themselves or dealt with administrative things all day."

"I don't think everyone agreed with you."

"They just don't like him because he's an Animal and they've been fed propaganda against Animals for years."

"It's surprising he's even working here, with the state of things."

"He's intelligent. I don't mind learning from him. The only thing I care about is if my professors know what they're talking about."

"Well, I'm starting to think we're the only people who care about anything that matters out here." Fiyero put his hand on hers.

She looked at him. It was clear in his face what was about to happen. But she still always found herself catching her breath when he kissed her. Elphaba dropped the pencil that was in her hand and wrapped both arms around his neck. Finally.

He pulled her hand and got her to stand up and dragged her, still kissing, towards the bed. She found herself pressed against it and he leaned her down onto it. "I have been thinking about this all week," he breathed.

She didn't tell him that she had been, too. This time she was wearing a dress, and he began to unzip it slowly. He kissed his way down her back as he did so. When he'd fully unzipped her, he helped her pull her hands out of her sleeves and tug the dress over her head. "I think you need to lose some clothes, too." And so she unbuttoned his shirt.

This time he got the clasps right. She hadn't even finished taking his shirt off when his mouth reached the base of her neck, nipping at the skin. When his mouth moved down, she dropped her hands and arched her back, moaning lightly. He finished removing his shirt as he kissed his way down her body. When he reached her navel, he smiled up at her.

She shivered as he finished undressing her. And when his mouth moved even lower, she gasped. He only stayed there a moment, but that moment made her writhe beneath his mouth in ecstasy. Sweet Oz, if this was even a hint at what was to come… Elphaba sat up and grabbed at his pants, pulling them off of him eagerly. He helped her and kissed her gently when she blushed.

And then he was above her. Elphaba lifted her hips as he entered her, hissing at the mix of pleasure and pain. The pain only lasted a moment, and he stopped. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I am now." Elphaba felt him thrust slowly inside of her and she mewled. This is what the nuns had warned her against daily for so many years? Clearly they'd never actually experienced it. She hid her face in his chest and cried out against one of the many beautiful diamonds tattooed on him. Her body began to tingle.

Fiyero buried himself within her time and time again and the tingling got more and more intense. If he stopped now, she'd never forgive him. She met each thrust eagerly. She knew that some sort of explosion of pleasure was coming. It built within her. Her heart pounded. And finally, that burning, tingling sensation reached its peak. Elphaba's fists clenched. Her toes flexed. Her body trembled. Every muscle in her body tightened. And she screamed. She practically collapsed a moment later, as Fiyero groaned and pulled her against him. "Sweet Oz, Fae."

She looked up at him, still gasping for air. He climbed off of her and fell onto the bed beside her. Elphaba's body felt empty without him.

He turned towards her and propped his head up on his elbow. "You feel amazing." Fiyero brought one hand to her ribs and traced along her stomach, grinning lazily. "If I had the energy, we'd be doing that again now."

"I don't think I could take it," she murmured, touching his chin.

He looked down. She followed his gaze. There was a little pinkish fluid between her thighs. Blood and fluid. "You didn't tell me it hurt like that."

"It didn't." It hadn't. It was like a pin prick. She hadn't even imagined it would make her bleed, although looking at him and then back at herself, it only made sense. And she was educated enough to know that girls often bled the first time. But she wasn't a normal girl.

"Are you sure?"

"Did it seem like I was in pain, Fiyero?"

He laughed, a stupid smile on his face. "I guess not."

"I am starving," Elphaba realized.

"I'm exhausted. I just want to fall asleep. There are some things in the kitchen."

Elphaba nodded. She grabbed Fiyero's shirt off the floor and threw it over her head and headed into the kitchen. She made herself a bowl of soup and ate quietly. So this was what it felt like. Was it only because it felt good that the maunts thought it to be so sinful? Well, it was sinful so long as you weren't married. She wasn't and that would never happen. This was temporary. But she knew it might be her only chance, and he'd been so good. She didn't regret it.

When she wandered back into the bedroom, he was still awake. He smiled at her. "Are you tired now?"

"No particularly. But I'll try to fall asleep with you." Elphaba climbed onto the bed beside him.

"Can I have my shirt back?"

"You're going to wear your normal shirt to bed?"

"No, I just want you naked."

Elphaba snorted and threw the shirt back onto the floor. "Happy?"

He grinned. "Of course. Now come here."

Elphaba lay beside him and he wrapped an arm around her. She rested her head on his chest and felt him breathe. For a moment, she didn't worry. She was peaceful and content.

"I love you."

Well, that ruined it. Elphaba tried not to jump up and run from him. Instead she swallowed heavily and yawned. "Good night, Fiyero."

"Good night, Fae."

It was twenty minutes later when he fell asleep. She snuck out of the bed and threw her clothes back on. She grabbed her bag and left. Maybe she would've stayed the night if he hadn't had to say… that. He couldn't love her. She couldn't love him. And so she ran instead.

When she got back into the room, Galinda (who had obviously been asleep) sat up. "Elphaba?"

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"I thought you were staying the night at Fiyero's."

"I changed my mind."

Galinda studied her for a moment. "Something happened. Something that upset you."

"Aren't you perceptive?" Elphaba snapped.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I'm pretty good with boys. Tell me what happened. I can help."

Elphaba stared at her. "You don't even know the whole story."

"I don't need to. What did he do?"

Elphaba turned away and looked out the window. "He said something. That's all."

"Oh, that's no big deal, Elphie!" Where had she come up with that nickname? "Men say stupid things all the time. If he insulted you or hurt your feelings, I'm sure he didn't mean to."

"Oh, he meant what he said. That's the problem."

"Just tell me what he said."

Elphaba sat back down on her bed. She might as well talk to someone. Fiyero was the only person she had to talk to and clearly talking to him about this was not an option. "He told me he loves me."

Galinda just gaped at her for a moment. "And the problem with that is…?"

"You don't understand! He can't love me. I can't love him."

"I certainly don't understand."

"Look, Galinda, I'll make it simple. They arrange marriages in the Vinkus. He's not arranged to be married to me. Is that easy enough to figure out?"

"Then why are you guys together in the first place?"

"Because I don't care. Marriage is just a formality out there. We're just having fun. That's it."

"I don't think so."

"No, you're right. It's not just having fun. Not now. He ruined it."

"I don't think it ever has been." Galinda sat next to Elphaba on the bed. "I've seen the way you look at him."

Elphaba shook her head. "No."

"You care about him, Elphaba."

"I can't."

"But you do."

Elphaba buried her face in her hands. "I can't. I'm just… I just can't."

Galinda rested a hand on Elphaba's shoulder. "It's too late for that now."

"And that's what I'm scared of."