Chapter Twenty-One: Breaking

Maybe Elphaba was right. It had gone too far, hadn't it? When he'd suggested they start this, it had been a curiosity, a little emotion and, of course, quite a bit of lust. It had probably been the same for her. But it was way more than that now. It had been more than that for quite some time. He had known he cared for her when this had all begun, but he hadn't realized how much he'd come to care. The idea of marrying some other girl, of sleeping with her, of holding her, it just felt wrong. It made him gag a little. How could he go through with it?

But he had to. He knew it, and so did she. What else could he do? Yet he saw in her eyes that she wasn't as happy about it as she pretended to be. Fiyero wanted a future with Elphaba, but his parents would never allow it. He thought day after day, trying to find a way out. After all, he'd found a way to get her to Shiz. This wasn't that easy. Short of running away, they were stuck.

And he couldn't run away. It would break his parents' hearts. He certainly couldn't leave his little siblings alone. Despite the control they exercised over his life, Fiyero loved his parents. But he loved Elphaba, too. He tried to just enjoy it all for now, but his mind wouldn't let him. Every time he lay beside her, every time he held her, he would realize that it was only temporary. It wasn't fair. And Elphaba just accepted it. She was resigned to it. She didn't think she deserved it, anyway. He knew that. Part of him wished he could be like her and just live with it, but he couldn't.

Weeks went by, and they went by much too fast. If time went this fast, he would never have enough time with her. By the time he could even catch his breath, the fall holidays were upon them. They weren't going back to the Vinkus. Because of some sort of proclamation by the Wizard, the fall holidays were only a week long this year and that didn't give them enough time to get back and forth. While his parents were disappointed, Fiyero wasn't. He convinced Elphaba to spend the whole week in his apartment. No one knew, since Galinda was back at home for the fall holidays.

She had so much passion that sometimes it overwhelmed him. Elphaba was not ashamed of her sexuality. If she wanted him, she'd start something that would make it very clear. Somehow he doubted a lot of women were like that. He liked it. Knowing that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her made him happy. Lately she'd even been pretty direct in telling him exactly what she wanted. If she didn't want him to stop, she'd tell him. If she wanted him to put his hands somewhere, she'd put them there for him. He loved how bold she was. That week passed even more quickly than the previous weeks. Before long, they were back in class and he was back to longing for the weekends. She barely spent any time with him at all on weekdays.

That day in life sciences class, Boq inserted himself into the seat between Elphaba and Fiyero. They exchanged confused glances and Elphaba shrugged. "What's going on, Boq?"

"Not a lot. How were the holidays for you? There wasn't a lot of time to go back to the Vinkus, was there? I couldn't get home to Munchkinland. I don't understand why they had to cut the holidays short like that."

"I agree. The holidays were much too short. And my holidays were very good, thank you for asking." Elphaba gave Fiyero a sly smile and he had to redirect his thoughts before he got too distracted.

"I'm glad you had fun. I didn't see you around campus much. I went by your room once or twice."

Fiyero frowned. Why would Boq stop by Elphaba's room? He knew Galinda wasn't around. What did he want with Elphaba?

"I apologize. I was probably so absorbed in my reading that I didn't hear you knock." Elphaba lied. Fiyero knew she hadn't seen the inside of her room all break until she'd returned there the previous evening. She'd barely seen the outside of his apartment, either.

Boq put his hand on Elphaba's desk. "I wanted to see you."

Elphaba looked confused but nodded. "It did get a little lonely." She barely spent a moment alone, and she'd complained about that. At one point he'd gone out for two hours just because he realized she was about to snap if he didn't let her have some time to herself.

Fiyero was unsettled by this conversation and was about to shove himself into it when Dr. Dillamond entered and began lecturing. He wanted to talk to Elphaba about it after class, but she waved him away and insisted on going over her notes by herself during lunch. Boq caught up to him, however.

"Fiyero, I forgot to ask, how were your holidays?"

Of course he'd forgotten to ask. He'd been much too focused on talking to Elphaba. "They were great. I spent a lot of time in my room just relaxing."

"After all that work, I sure could use a break. Did you see Elphaba at all?"

"No," he lied. "Like she said, she basically stayed in her rom. And I basically stayed in mine." He didn't know why he suddenly felt the urge to give Boq a play-by-play on how his week had really gone, but he resisted it.

"Do you know if she's interested in anyone?"

"Interested how?" Fiyero did not like where this conversation was going.

"Interested how?" Boq laughed. "What, do they use different words in the Vinkus? Does she have feelings for anyone?"

Fiyero absolutely hated the fact that they were still hiding and he had to lie. "Not that I know of. She doesn't exactly tell me those things. She might tell Galinda. You could ask her."

"Oh, that's okay." Fiyero knew Boq was too afraid to even talk to Galinda. "Think she'd go to lunch with me some time?"

"I don't know. She really likes to study." At least that wasn't a lie.

"Well, maybe she'd study with me, then."

Fiyero bit his lip hard. "She likes to be alone."

"No harm in asking, right?"

"I guess not." Fiyero was mentally kicking Boq's ass.

On Wednesday when they had life sciences again, Boq did the same thing and sat between Elphaba and Fiyero. Damn Elphaba for always sitting in the corner. Fiyero felt his fists clench and wished he'd gotten to class slightly earlier. But Boq was already there, talking eagerly to Elphaba. And was Fiyero imagining things, or was Boq leaning in a little too close? He wanted to sit as far away from Boq as possible, but he was not leaving Elphaba alone with him, even in a crowded classroom.

"Hi, Fae." Fiyero said loudly.

She raised her eyebrows at him. He'd never called her "Fae" in public. "Hi, Fiyero."

Boq looked up. "Oh, hey, Fiyero. Elphie and I were just discussing the lecture we had on Monday."

So he was calling her "Elphie" now? Fiyero hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt. "Oh, about geology?" He was the one who had practically taught Elphaba geology. "It was a good lecture. I found the part about…"

"Anyway," Boq cut him off, turning back to Elphaba, "What did you think about the discussion he started at the end about the ruby mining in Quadling Country?"

"It's terrible! I had no idea that was going on. Those poor Quadlings. Do you think it's some big company doing it? Or do you think the Wizard has a hand in it?"

"Oh, I'm sure the Wizard has nothing to do with it."

Fiyero saw his in there. Elphaba knew the Wizard had something to do with just about everything. "I wouldn't be so sure. He'd have to at least given his approval, don't you think?"

"Maybe. Maybe some big company just bribed some of his delegates to tell him to allow them to mine. It might be he has no idea how bad it is down there."

"And a bunch of students know and he doesn't?" Fiyero argued.

"Maybe! From what I hear, the Wizard never leaves his palace. If someone is controlling what he hears, it might be that he has no idea!"

How was Elphaba not arguing with this? Fiyero wanted to smack some sense into this idiot little creature. "I doubt it."

"Have you ever been to the City?"

"No… not yet. My father has been meaning to take me."

"Well, I've been. The Wizard is an enigma. He doesn't let just anyone in to see him. It's very possible that he doesn't know."

Elphaba looked at Fiyero strangely and then back at Boq. "I'd never thought of that."

She was buying this junk? And why was she looking at him like that? Fiyero had to do something about this soon or he was going to snap in some not very nice ways…