Chapter 1: Lost
Izuku lost a lot of things in his short life. This one just happened to be the worst.
"You… you want me to give One for All to Mirio?"
His voice sounded wrecked to his own ears as he struggled to sit up in the hospital bed. His back and arms still ached from holding up that collapsed building and he knew that a few short minutes in the rubble guaranteed new scars across his shoulders. His hands shook as he pushed himself into an upright position, hoping to all hope that he had heard All Might incorrectly.
The look on his mentor's face only corroborated his dread. "My boy, I was thoughtless in my decision and I have been a careless teacher. I've made a mistake."
Izuku swallowed down the building tears. "W-what?"
All Might's eyes met his with a sad sort of seriousness. "I've put too much pressure on you all at once."
He grimaced, shaking his head. "All Might, I-,"
The former Number One held up a hand to silence him. His words were slow and pained, like it hurt him to say them. Izuku wondered if they were harming him as much as they were harming his successor. His heart was shattering again and all he could do was scramble to catch the pieces. "You have ended up in a hospital bed, on the brink of death, one too many times. My boy, I'm afraid that if we keep doing this you won't last very long. And…"
Izuku knew, deep down, that this had been a possibility. He had known that there was a chance he would not be enough. There was a chance he would not improve fast enough or gain enough strength or do the right thing and it would result in failure.
An old poison, festered from ten years of abuse and neglect, sparked anew inside his chest.
He was good at failure, it seemed.
"And One for All will die with you."
There it was.
Society had made it very clear from the moment he had been diagnosed as Quirkless that the power mattered more than the person. Without a Quirk, Izuku Midoriya was useless, weak, and a waste of space and oxygen. He was nothing more than something to be used for others to become better. He was a tool, a vessel of lessons and punching bags.
And One for All, apparently. He wondered if the past users thought he was a failure too. Were they eager to escape this form? Did they side with All Might?
He felt the power pulse within him. He breathed in the vibrant lightning, smelled the scent of victory and pride and power. How could his mentor think he could give that away?
"But I-,"
"Please understand, Young Midoriya." It helped that All Might looks so heartbroken. At least he was not tossing Izuku aside like he meant nothing. At least Izuku could convince himself that his hero was doing this for his good, so that he would be safe. Maybe then the poison would not kill him. "With the League of Villains on the rise, there is too much at stake. All for One may be locked away, but Shigaraki is not, and he grows more powerful by the day."
In other words: I can't trust you to be able to be the hero that can take him down.
"But it's my Quirk now. You said so yourself-!"
"Please forgive me, Midoriya," Blonde hair fell into the haggard man's eyes as he bowed his head.
Izuku did not talk back. He had learned very early on in life that talking back to anyone in authority was not an intelligent choice for him. But this was too much, too much to lose and concede. This was too important. His tongue loosened. "I've worked so hard! I broke my arms to get control of this Quirk and now you're telling me to just give it away?"
"I cannot guarantee your safety," Was the reply, hoarse and sad and logically, Izuku knew that All Might was still trying to be the hero.
Logic was something Izuku was good at. But now, with his heart becoming pieces within his aching chest, he could not bring himself to care. "I never asked you for that."
"I have a duty of care-,"
"No you don't!" Izuku was quick to cry; He would never disagree with anyone who said that. He was not quick to anger. He could remember, distantly, Todoroki making a poor joke about not wanting to see the green-eyed boy enraged, for he was afraid the world might end.
Well, it definitely felt a little bit like Izuku's world was ending.
"You have a duty to train me and prepare me and guide me. That's what Nana was for you!"
All Might flinched.
He huffed, hands fisting in the hospital blanket. His eyes drifted to the scars lining his arms. Were these not proof of all the hard work? Were those lines on his skin not evidence of how far he had come? "Would she have given up on you like you're giving up on me?"
"I am not giving up on you!" All Might's low tone began to rise in volume. Oh, was he angry?
"Yes, you are!" Izuku matched his cadence, forcing his throbbing back to straighten. He turned, facing his mentor head on. "You don't think that I can beat Shigaraki!"
"If you were to face him-,"
"I'd have help!" He slammed his fist onto the bed, and perhaps if he wasn't so upset, he would have felt the pain. "You've done this whole solo act hero gig for years, All Might, but I have friends who will help me!"
All Might growled. "As the Symbol of Peace-,"
"I'm not the Symbol of Peace," He interrupted venomously. "I'm Deku. I'm not you, I'll never be you. I have your Quirk, yes, but I'm not you. I plan on letting people help me with my problems."
The man stood, chair crashing to the ground. "I am trying to protect you!"
"I fought Muscular without you there," Izuku wished he could stand. He wished they were having this conversation in a week when he could stand on his own two feet and shout in his mentor's face. Did he not see how much this was hurting him? Could he not understand what he would be losing? Old insecurities and lies twisted in his lungs and made it difficult to breathe. "I went to save Kachaan without you there. I saved Eri without you there-!"
"Mirai died!"
Izuku sobered immediately, anger falling to a scarier sort of rage. It simmered beneath his skin. Lava slowly crawling down the mountainside, setting flame to anything it comes across, inevitable and unstoppable. He had been so sure after hearing Sir Nighteye affirm his faith in Izuku that it was a turning page. "You're blaming me?"
"No!" All Might's face fell into his shaking hands. "No. But if there I someone more capable… someone who can save more lives."
The sixteen-year-old bit his tongue to stop the tears. No. All Might did not deserve his vulnerability. Not right now. "I did my best."
All Might raised his head. His eyes clearly told what his lips would not.
But that wasn't enough.
He swallowed. "Give me a little more time. Please."
I'll do better. I'll be better. Please.
"There is no time, my boy. Danger grows daily. The world needs a new Symbol."
He wished he could fight that. He wished that statement was just another villain he could defeat. Again, he focused on the feeling of the energy between his fingertips. He felt the electricity surge in his body. One for All came alive across his skin. Green lightning flitted across his arms and chest. The familiar feeling, warm and strong and grounding, pulled a small smile from his lips. This was a part of him. Just like Nana Shimura had bestowed the gift to Toshinori Yagi, now it was his.
He wanted to be a hero.
He jolted, and the energy around him ceased. He sagged in the bed, back thudding against his pillow.
"My boy-,"
Izuku flinched away from All Might's hand. Too ashamed to face up to that kind of embarrassment, he turned away, staring resolutely out the window. He closed his eyes and for a few short seconds, he cherished the feeling of One for All within him. He thought of all he predecessors, all the good they had done. All the evil they had fought.
Perhaps if he had been more like them…
Goodbye, he whispered, hoping they were listening.
"I understand," He breathed, reigning in his sadness and his anger. He flexed his fingers, the scars on his wrist. He thought of all his training, his hours running and lifting and practicing. He thought of his classmates and how they always pushed him forward and challenged him. He thought of Sensei and his bravery, his selflessness.
And thank you.
"This is for the best," All Might sighed, and Izuku heard him pick up the overturned chair. The door opened and Izuku glanced back.
Mirio stepped into the hospital room, gaze misty.
He had been waiting outside.
He had known before Izuku. He had been waiting, ready, to take his Quirk. He had been sitting out there, knowing that Izuku was about to give up something so precious to him. He had lost his dad, his ability to be a hero, his best friend, his future, and then suddenly, he had been given a chance to rectify all that. A Quirk, a mentor, the best hero school in the country. Hell, even his and Bakugou's friendship was beginning to mend.
Izuku did not even have any time to cry over what he was about to lose. All Might had already brought in his new successor, forging Izuku's signature on a document he had never even read.
Would it have mattered if he had ultimately refused? Or had All Might known Izuku so well that he could be certain he would agree? He had taken the time to understand him, hadn't he? Had taken the time to train him and laugh with him and care about him. He knew that the green-haired boy would give up his Quirk, something he had yearned for for years, if it meant others' lives were saved.
He knew that All Might thought this was saving Izuku's life too; there was no doubt in his mind that All Might was not doing this to hurt Izuku.
It was hurting anyway.
"I'm sorry, Midoriya," Mirio whispered, and at least he seemed genuine. "It's what Sir would want."
Of course. Because it was always about what other people wanted. "Yeah."
All Might reached towards Izuku's hair and he jerked backward. "Don't."
Both blondes looked away at the fierceness in his tone. He swallowed, breath shaky as he whispered, "Just… just let me do it."
His hands trembled as he tugged a hair from his head. He looked at it for a moment, green and bright. It caught the afternoon light, shining golden.
I'm sorry.
He held the hair out to the third year. He prayed that the next few seconds were the longest of his life. He focused on the last moments of being the ninth holder of One for All. He pushed his power to the surface and felt it envelop him.
One…
A deep breath. The entrance exam. He didn't even remember then pain anymore, just the feeling of arching through the air like a canon bawl, alive and grinning and finally feeling like he could be something. The Sports Festival. Watching Shoto's face as Izuku screamed those fateful words to him.
Two…
Feeling like he had not really lost because he had gained a friend and fought with everything he had. His internship with Gran Torino and how much progress he had made. The training camp, where he had faced Muscular and won with the help of the other holders. Rescuing Bakugou, flying across the sky to meet him.
One for All at one hundred percent, Eri at his back, as he taught Overhaul what it was to be a hero.
Three…
Even though he had been expecting it, the reality of feeling One for All disappear made him gasp. The lightning that had surrounded him vanished. In its place was an old friend of a feeling. Dark and empty, though he had not known it was so back then. He had never had a Quirk to miss before.
Now?
Now he understood what he had lost.