Chapter Twenty-Five: Hopeless

So she loved him. He supposed he'd known that, but hearing her say it meant something more. It made his whole body warm. They had stayed up all night that night, mostly talking (although not the whole time). It felt like forever before they finally returned to Shiz. He hated watching her around the castle when she had to serve him. And only being able to sneak into her room sometimes, and only for an hour or two was just not enough for him. He wanted her beside him in his bed. He wanted that every night. Sarima would never warm his bed the way Elphaba did.

The minute they got to the hotel on the way back, Fiyero pulled her into his bed. He didn't even want to make love, he just wanted her there. She had made it clear to him that she wouldn't be able to make love that night, anyway.

Fiyero was so grateful to return to Shiz. So many students complained that break had ended, but Fiyero was not one of them. Neither was Elphaba. "Fiyero?" They were alone in their life sciences classroom, having both gotten there early.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was thinking. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my classes start a little later this semester. Maybe on Monday or Wednesday nights I could stay the night one of those nights during the week. So long as you allow me to get some studying and work done." She would not look him in the eyes.

He grinned. This was proof that she loved him, more so even than her saying it. Staying the night on a school night? "You could stay both nights."

"I knew you'd say that. But no, Fiyero. I need my space."

She had seemed to need less and less space lately. Again, she'd stayed in his arms all night the night in the hotel before they returned. But he'd let her keep whatever semblance of independence she had. "I understand. How about Wednesday nights, then? That's in the middle of the week."

"That works for this week. I might change it depending on the week and the workload."

"I will be looking forward to it."

"You don't have to tell me that, Fiyero. I know you." Elphaba smiled at him and then bit her lip to hide it as other students began to enter the classroom. Even Dr. Dillamond was early.

"Miss Elphaba, may I see you at my desk, please?" The Goat asked.

Fiyero gave Elphaba a curious glance, but she seemed to have no idea what the Goat wanted with her, either. She approached his desk. Fiyero watched eagerly, trying to get an idea of what was going on, but couldn't seem to hear anything. It wasn't long, though. He saw Elphaba nod enthusiastically and then she returned to her seat beside him, smiling. "What happened?" Fiyero was more than a little curious.

"Dr. Dillamond is so impressed with me that he wants me to be his lab assistant. He's been doing research pertaining to the difference between Animals and animals, also between Animals and humans. I'm to work with him on Sunday afternoons."

He smiled back at her. "That's great." Fiyero knew how serious Elphaba had gotten about life sciences. That and sorcery were the classes she worked the hardest at, though she wasn't nearly as fond of her sorcery professor (Headmistress Morrible) as she was of Dr. Dillamond. He supposed she had more in common with Dr. Dillamond, shunned and stared at in the best of cases, teased and tormented in the worst. She also seemed to think Madame Morrible had it out for the Animals. Since getting to Shiz, she'd been much more passionate about the whole Animal thing. Fiyero understood it, though he wasn't nearly as invested as she was.

Elphaba allowed Fiyero to study with her more, as well. Sometimes he even studied with her in her dorm room. Galinda seemed to enjoy watching the two of them interact.

"You two are so cute!" Galinda exclaimed one afternoon when they'd gotten into a heated discussion about the biology of animals versus Animals.

"Did you really just say that?" Elphaba cackled. "I don't know what rose-colored glasses you're wearing, Galinda. Have you forgotten our situation?"

"I haven't. And that's why it's cute. Because you are together despite that."

"I'm sure it'll be really cute when Fiyero's married."

Fiyero sighed and took Elphaba's hand. "Fae…"

"What? I'm telling the truth, am I not?"

"I'll figure something out," he insisted. "I will."

"Fiyero, there is nothing you can do. We've accepted that. At least I thought we had."

But Fiyero didn't want to accept it. He loved her too much to accept it. And maybe she thought she accepted it, but he knew it was more like she was trying to forget about it. It became clear she couldn't accept it the night after Sarima had visited. He didn't bring that up now, though. Still she was right. What exactly could he do? He thought day and night what he could do. Nothing worked, not if he wanted to keep his family. All he could do was remember he had two more years to figure it out. "We've got time. Something will change, even if I have to change it myself."

Elphaba's face softened. "Yero my hero, you are hopeless."

"Hopelessly in love with you," he countered.

Galinda giggled.

"That is beyond cliché, Fiyero." Elphaba shook her head, but she was smiling.

"But I love you, Fae."

She looked up into his eyes. "I love you, too. You know I do." They both heard Galinda gasp at this. Elphaba turned to her. "Yes, I said it. Happy?"

Galinda smiled. "Took you long enough."

Elphaba laughed. "Maybe I could've come to the conclusion on my own sooner if I hadn't been trying so hard to ignore everyone pushing it on me," she gave Galinda a look.

"It was for your own good."

"My own good? So I can get exiled or killed? I really don't see how that's good."

"Fae…" Fiyero frowned.

"Would you stop living in denial, Yero?"

"We just have to keep hiding until I'm king, then it'll be okay."

"And then you'll be married." Elphaba folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes, unfortunately." Was Fiyero mistaken or had Elphaba suddenly become much more against the idea of him getting married? What she had shrugged off as a mere formality that didn't mean anything was now something she clearly put a lot of emphasis upon.

Elphaba buried her face in his chest and closed her eyes. Fiyero wanted to hold her there forever. After a moment, though, she pulled back at looked at him. "This isn't a conversation we need to be having right now." She gave a sideways look at Galinda.

"You're right."

"I don't mind!" Galinda chimed in.

Both of them laughed. Fiyero kissed Elphaba's cheek. "It's about time you come over to my apartment, anyway."

"You can stay here a little longer, it's not too late!" Galinda insisted.

Elphaba snorted. "Believe me, you won't want us here. We're leaving."

"You two have fun," Galinda said knowingly.

Elphaba grabbed her bag and followed Fiyero out the door, turning to Galinda. "I will. But you won't be hearing about any of it."

The last thing Fiyero saw as they closed the door was Galinda pouting. He looked back at Elphaba. "Look, I know we avoid talking about the future. But I do want you to know I'm trying my best to figure something out. I will never stop loving you, Fae."

He wasn't sure if he was mistaken when he saw tears glistening in her eyes. She blinked too quickly for him to be sure. "Let's forget about it, Fiyero. What we should be focusing on is making sure we don't get caught before then."