A/N: I was going to split this chapter into two, but then I decided I might as well get the first arc done right away so I can focus completely on the second one. Ah, this chapter might not be what you were expecting, though. I mean, if you were expecting any great acts of badassery or some really epic fight... I'm sorry.
Still, I am very grateful for the reviews! Many thanks also to those who have faved this story!
– CHAPTER 9 –
Fall and Rise
"So, who do you want killed, Mr. Vargas?"
The air was impregnated with tobacco smoke, the atmosphere dark and dangerous just like the two men on the other side of the desk. The dim light reflected eerily on their stony faces as they stared intently at him right in the eyes. All in all, it made Lovino feel as though he had been arrested and brought in for a third-degree interrogation. Even that question had sounded like a threat.
He had to remind himself for the umpteenth time that he wasn't the one who was going to get killed – not today, at least – and that these men had not come after him. Rather, he had come after them. He made an effort to swallow his nervousness. It wouldn't do to show weakness in front of these people. Their sort didn't take kindly to weakness, and they could smell it a mile away.
"Natalia Russo, the youngest daughter of Count Russo," he spoke with a perfectly steady voice and watched as the two men sitting before him exchanged subtly puzzled, yet clearly suspicious, looks.
From what Lovino had heard, this was one of the most powerful, most influential families around these parts, though deeply involved in the affairs of the underworld. The head of the family, Mr. Gianturco, more commonly known as "Il Sadico", practically owned this entire city. Most likely, he wasn't used to not recognising names of people who were supposed to be remotely important, such as the daughter of a count.
"I know of the Russos, of course," he said, his eyes as cold and calculating as his voice. "And I know the count has a daughter called Caterina. But I have never heard of a second daughter by the name of Natalia."
"I'm not surprised you haven't," said Lovino, once again managing to keep his tone matter-of-fact even though he felt more than a little unnerved. "The count wouldn't want to expose someone who belongs in a mental asylum. That woman is a sadistic, bloodthirsty witch. I'm surprised he never disowned her." Carefully, very carefully so as to show he wasn't about to pull a gun or anything of the sort, he reached inside his pocked and pulled out a sketchy drawing he had made before coming here, then handed it out to Il Sadico. "That's why I drew this portrait of her, so there will be no mistake." It wasn't as good as if, say, Feliciano had been the one to draw it, but it would do.
"She looks like a cute little doll," remarked Il Sadico's right-hand man rather prosaically, earning unimpressed stares from both his boss and Lovino. He coughed and lowered his head sheepishly. "I just meant she doesn't look like the sadistic, bloodthirsty witch that Mr. Vargas was telling us about..." he mumbled.
The awkward silence extended for a minute longer, until Lovino finally broke it by taking a bag with some of the money he had stolen from Ludwig and setting it on the table between him and Il Sadico.
"As agreed, I'll pay half now and the other half after the job is done."
"Very well, Mr. Vargas."
"This isn't nearly enough," said his right-hand man after a brief inspection of the contents of the bag.
Lovino scowled at him. He still had some money with him, but he didn't want to give it all away at once. He thoughtfully touched the wedding ring that he still wore even after all this time. Many times since that fateful day, he had fought the urge to throw it away, for he knew it was worth quite a fortune; it had been bought by Count Russo himself. Now was the perfect opportunity to finally get rid of it while giving it some actual use. He had no reason to be reluctant to part from it.
Resolutely, he took it off and slapped it down on the table. After the right-hand man examined it and deemed it genuine and quite valuable, the ring and the money were put away and the three men rose.
"A pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Vargas," said Il Sadico as they shook hands. "We will begin the preparations for this job right away."
Lovino muttered a word of thanks and quickly excused himself, anxious to get away from those two dangerous men and this stifling, smoke-stinking room. One of Il Sadico's underlings escorted him outside. Lovino felt as though he were exiting the back door of Hell.
Once left alone outside, he took a few breaths of fresh air and mounted his – formerly Ludwig's – horse, pondering what to do next.
He thought of Antonio and Bella as he recalled their conversation at the cathedral. Embarrassment at being caught singing in such earnest might have clouded his judgement a little at the time and got him into a bad, defensive mood. However, now that he was alone and had calmed down considerably, he wondered about what they had said to him back then about what had happened in Pontebianco.
"It was all a misunderstanding," Antonio had said. Damn right it had been a misunderstanding! Lovino knew he had anger issues and often said a lot of things he didn't mean in the heat of the moment, but he was sure he hadn't been overly rude or insulting towards Bella, especially not so as to warrant a beating from an enraged Antonio. Moreover, if he thought about it carefully, it wasn't like Bella to make up those lies just to get back at someone she supposedly loved, no matter how hurt she felt.
Now seemed as good a time as any to clear this up with Bella herself. The fact that both Antonio and Ludwig were absent only made it more convenient. Besides, with both Antonio and Feliciano in danger, and Bella left behind, all alone, she must be beside herself with worry. She was probably crying, too, sensitive girl that she was. If all went well, Lovino could offer her some comfort, if nothing else.
After asking around for directions, he soon found what was supposed to be his brother's manor. Contrary to his expectations, the building actually looked quite tasteful and discreet, while still maintaining an air of ostentatious wealth and elegance. Just like its former owner, he supposed.
He hesitated a little in front of the door before he knocked. A young, charming maid opened it and looked very pleasantly surprised to see him. Lovino smiled, equally pleased and surprised that the mere sight of him had such an effect on her.
"Oh, Lord Vargas! Welcome back! We were all so worried about you! Miss Giannini told me you'd been kidnapped! Thank God you're all right!"
Lovino's smile fell right off his face, and he could feel a twitch in his eye. He had forgotten how utterly infuriating it felt to be mistaken for his brother. Honestly, was everyone blind? Sure, they did look alike – after all, they were brothers – but they weren't completely identical! Were they?
Because this was a woman, he refrained from attacking her, either physically or even verbally, and forced the smile to revive, though he wasn't entirely successful.
"I am not Feliciano," he said through gritted teeth, hands itching to break something. "I am his twin brother Lovino."
"Oh, Mr. Lovino Vargas!" the maid gasped, blushing in embarrassment. "I am so sorry, sir! A thousand apologies! It's just that—you look just like Lord Vargas! I'd heard that you were twins, but I never thought it was possible for two people to look so absolutely identical! Come in, sir, come in!"
"Thank you," he said, stepping inside and fuming. "Incidentally, I don't look just like Feliciano; he is the one who looks like me. And we are not identical! I trust you will learn to see the many differences between us with time."
"Actually, I think I can already see two major differences, sir."
"Oh?"
"Your fashion sense and personality are completely different from Lord Vargas'!"
This woman—! Lovino dropped all pretence of cordiality and glowered openly at the maid. One would expect a servant to know how to hold her tongue in front of her betters. Only someone as soft as Feliciano would keep her around.
"Er... W-would you like something to drink, sir?" asked the maid, wringing her hands nervously under his smouldering glare.
"No, thank you. I want to see Bella, I mean, Isabella Giannini. I heard she was brought here."
"Ah, indeed, sir," said the maid with a nod, although she suddenly looked even more nervous. "But I'm afraid she's not here any more. She just left."
"What?" he burst out, with a cold feeling in his stomach. "And... when is she coming back?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"She said she was going to help save Lord Vargas. I-I'm sorry, sir, I tried to stop her, I really did, but she wouldn't listen to me!"
His heart sank. Just as he had feared, then. Why did Bella keep doing this? First to save him, now to save Feliciano. What was she thinking? Well, obviously, she wasn't thinking at all, or she would have known better than to risk her life like that. She was as bad as Antonio, if not worse. At least Antonio was male and strong and could hold his own in a fight, but Bella would definitely get killed before she even saw it coming. Was she trying to prove something? That she was brave, maybe? Well, this wasn't bravery; it was stupidity, plain and simple!
He had to stop her. He had to go after her, stop her, and drag her back to the manor, where it was safe. If he hurried up now, maybe he could still catch up with her before she trod on dangerous territory. Without another word to the maid, Lovino ran out of the house, shouting a stream of vile epithets, mounted his horse again, and galloped out of the city.
oOo
"My master's brother did raise a valid point about us being outnumbered. We should make use of stealth in this task."
Antonio was disappointed. Sure, he was the type of guy that everyone thought was nice and peace-loving, gullible, slow to anger, never held grudges, liked to help people, etc. But, in reality, he rather liked some action now and then. He had become quite adept at fighting after having to stand up for the Vargas brothers against bullies so many times in their childhood, and then joining Lovino in brawls against jealous boyfriends and suitors – when Lovino flirted with all the girls in the town and then was blatantly rude to men who perceived him as a rival, blood was guaranteed to be spilled. And Antonio had found he actually enjoyed fighting. Not because he took pleasure in hurting others, not at all, but unless things got too far, it could be rather fun, invigorating, just like any other sport. If he could help a friend in the process, all the better! Also, it impressed the girls when he came out victorious.
Aside from those occasional brawls, however, he didn't get the opportunity to fight very often. For that reason, he had been rather looking forward to beating up some thugs in order to save Feliciano. What nobler cause was there to fight for? It had sounded really exciting, so that even the normally friendly, cool-tempered Antonio had felt his blood boil in anticipation.
And now, he was being told they needed to use stealth. Definitely not his cup of tea. Antonio just couldn't do stealth, even if he tried. Even Lovino, who was so very clumsy, was far better at it than him.
"Yeah. Sure. Okay. I'll do my best," he mumbled, more to himself than to Ludwig. Then, addressing Ludwig more clearly, he said, "Let's try going in through the back door. They're probably guarding only the front door."
"That would be imprudent of them," said Ludwig, with a frown. "Why wouldn't they guard the back door?"
"Only servants use it! No one else remembers it's there. I bet neither Natalia nor Lovino even know where it is."
"If you say so. Lead the way, then."
Antonio tried to mimic Ludwig's stealthy movements, but it was a little difficult when he had to lead the way.
"Maybe we should wait for nightfall?" he suggested. Ludwig shushed him sharply, because, apparently, Antonio had spoken too loudly. He rested his case.
"There is no time," Ludwig whispered to him. "From what I understand, Lady Russo plans to torture Lord Vargas. She might start it any minute now. She could be doing it as we speak, in fact! It'll still be a couple of hours till nightfall. We cannot afford to wait; it is too great a risk."
"Okay, okay, you do have a point," Antonio said and was again berated for being too loud. He took a deep, calming breath and made a great effort to be quieter. "I'm as anxious to save Feliciano as you are. But this would be so much easier if it were dark outside."
"It can't be helped, so there is no point in dwelling on it. Now, where is the back door?"
"Almost there."
Despite his belief that no one would remember to guard the back door, Antonio was still quite surprised to find that it was indeed completely deserted in the back and they probably didn't even need to try being inconspicuous. Antonio was happy with this turn of events, because it meant he didn't have to worry about attracting unwanted attention and botching up this rescue mission. Ludwig, on the other hand, was forever tense and his frown had deepened in a rather frightening way, though he offered no further comment.
With varying degrees of wariness, they sneaked up to the door, which Ludwig carefully creaked open. After making sure that there was no one around, he opened it fully and beckoned at Antonio to follow after him. Ludwig made a few more gestures to him and gave him meaningful looks, and after a moment of confusion, Antonio finally understood that he was supposed to be take the lead again. He was quite familiar with this part of the house, after all, whereas Ludwig had never even set foot in it before.
Even after they left the servants' area, the house still appeared to be deserted. Slowly, Antonio began to relax.
"This will be easier than I thought!" he said, loud and clear.
Click! Click! Click! Click! Click!
"Oh, shit," he grumbled, his shoulders slumping.
"I knew it!" Ludwig said through gritted teeth, his whole body rigid as a ramrod.
"Hands up, gentleman," came Natalia's sickly sweet voice from behind.
They obeyed, not resisting at all when two men came to strip them of their weapons.
"Wait a minute," said Antonio as Natalia finally walked around them and into their field of vision, pointing a gun at him. "I was sure this room was empty! Did you materialize out of thin air or something?"
She gave him a smug smile. "Unlike uncouth peasants such as yourself, Mr. Carriedo, this family has mastered the noble art of subtlety."
"Call me what you like. At least I'm not a snake like you," he retorted.
"Mr. Carriedo, I really don't think you are in any position to be throwing insults at me. You have no eyes on the back of your head, so perhaps you fail to understand your current situation. Let me help you, then. There are seven guns pointing at your head right now, including this one I am holding. If you so much as twitch or glance at your friend over there, your brain will be decorating the walls of this room the next instant."
Antonio resisted the sudden, almost overwhelming urge to twitch or glance at Ludwig. He also dearly wished to look back to see if there were really all those guns pointing at him, because he was sure he hadn't heard that many clicks. However, looking back like that would be worse than twitching, and he knew for a fact that there was at least one gun pointing at him, so he decided he really should just stand still and breathe quietly for now.
"So, where is Mr. Vargas? I thought I had left explicit instructions for my letter to be delivered to him and only him."
"He's not coming," said Antonio with an air of defiance. He had been disheartened when Lovino had refused so adamantly to join them in this mission, but now he was very glad that Lovino had stayed behind, or else he would have been caught along with Antonio and Ludwig. Just as he had predicted. "I guess he was right. Maybe we should have thought this through."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Mr. Carriedo. Even if you had tried to think this through, the result would have still been the same. You actually spared yourselves the trouble." Natalia frowned and tightened her hold on the gun, shifting a little restlessly. "I am quite disappointed, though. I actually expected Mr. Vargas to show up to save his brother. I suppose I underestimated his cowardice. Why come here himself when he could just send you two buffoons, right? But no matter! Now I have his brother and his dear friend. Surely he will show his face now! And if he doesn't—" her features suddenly twisted into an expression of wicked delight, her eyes glinting with madness "—I can just pretend that his twin brother is him to satisfy myself for the moment. Perhaps I could experiment on him, so that when I get my hands on the real Lovino Vargas, I will know exactly how to inflict the most excruciating, agonizing punishment on him."
"Over my dead body!" Ludwig burst out and began to charge at Natalia, but froze in this tracks when she pointed the gun at him instead and at least four more clicks were heard echoing around the room. Where had all those snipers come from and why could he see not a single one?
"That can be easily arranged, so I suggest you think carefully before you decide to do anything funny," Natalia told him. "I assume you are Ludwig? I have nothing against you, but neither will I hesitate to shoot you should you threaten me again." She snapped her fingers and a moment later two huge men were holding both Antonio and Ludwig from behind, restraining them.
"Get them out of my sight," she ordered them. "I will give Mr. Vargas one more day. If he doesn't show up by sunset tomorrow, his brother and his friend will be the ones to pay the price."
oOo
Lovino cursed under his breath. Then cursed again. And again. And one more time for good measure. He was dead. So very, very dead. He had been so desperate to stop Bella from running to her death, so focused on catching up with her, that by the time he remembered to mind his surroundings, he was already back in Monterosso. He had no illusions about there being the most remote possibility of him getting away again. No, he had been lucky enough to escape the first time around, and considering his history, he could safely say that he wasn't the luckiest person in the world, so he certainly wouldn't be as lucky a second time.
"I can't believe you made me come back to this place!" he snapped once he finally caught up with Bella, though that was only possible because she had stopped for the first time since she had left Terraverde. "Are you trying to get us all killed?"
"Lovino? What are you doing here?" Bella blinked, visibly surprised to see him. Honestly, sometimes she was so much like Antonio that it frightened Lovino. He had been following her for the past couple of hours and she hadn't noticed it at all?
"We weren't supposed to have got this far! I meant to drag you back to Terraverde before it was too late, but now, guess what, it's too late!"
Bella stared at him for a while, as if unable to comprehend what he was saying. Then, a bright grin graced her face, and she said, "Oh, Lovino, I'm so happy you changed your mind and decided to come and join us!"
"I didn't come here for that!" he spluttered. "Didn't you listen to a single word I just said, damn it?"
"Of course I did, and that was really sweet of you. Coming all the way here, despite all the dangers, just to make sure I'd be all right..." she said shyly, her cheeks tinted rosy pink. She looked so cute and innocent right then that Lovino almost forgave her for being an idiot. However, she broke the spell when her grin turned a little devious and she said, "And since you're already here, you might as well join us in helping your brother, right?"
"Like hell I'm going to do that! I don't want to die just yet!"
"Well, all right..." She heaved a disappointed sigh. "If you're too scared, I understand. I'll go ahead, then, and you can go back to Terraverde and wait for us there."
"I'm not scared!" he yelled when she turned her back to him and proceeded to the Russo manor. He hesitated another second, considering how contradicting he must seem if he claimed he wasn't scared but couldn't even bring himself to follow a lady to stop her from running into danger. "God fucking damn it!" he grumbled and ran after her. "I'm not scared. I'm not. I'm not afraid of a woman," he kept repeating, as if it might become true if he said it enough times. "Even if that woman happens to have a gun and a vast collection of knives and whips and thugs and no sanity to speak of..." he added, his voice dying along with his determination when they entered the manor.
"You tell them, Lovino!" said Bella. Unlike him, she appeared to be quite excited about diving head-first into her doom. "I know you are a very brave man deep down, and you will show them that they can't scare us! We're stronger than them!"
"Yeah, sure. Sure. Okay. They'll be here any time now, anyway. She won't kill me right away, so there'll be time. Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. Everything will be all right," he told himself, his speech as jittery as he felt. He had the sudden urge to curl up in a corner and cry. "This is so stupid. Those idiots are not worth my life, damn it..."
"Did you say something?"
"No, nothing! Just thinking out loud!"
"Oh, okay. Say, don't you think it's kind of quiet in here? I thought you said this manor was heavily guarded?"
Lovino had become eerily aware of that fact when he had crossed the open gate and then entered the manor and, a few minutes later, had still found himself conscious, breathing, and free of pain. On the one hand, it was a good thing that he was still alive and well, but on the other hand, he kept expecting someone to jump up from the next corner or piece of furniture just like last time, and the suspense was killing him more slowly than Natalia could ever hope to do. It was almost bad enough for him to wish that someone would show up already.
"Well, this is a little disappointing," commented Bella. "But I guess it makes our lives easier, so I won't complain. Let's go and find—oh, hello there!" she waved to the figure who had just seemed to materialize out of the shadows. Lovino almost died on the spot at the sight. "What's your name? Do you work here?"
"Shit, it's Natalia!" Lovino shouted and grabbed Bella's arm to shake her and try to get her marbles to rearrange themselves back into good sense.
"Oh, dear. I never did take a good look at her face. Is that really her? She's so cute! A lot cuter than me. No wonder you married her," Bella babbled in a rather sullen tone, staring at the statuesque Natalia from head to toe before looking down at herself. She pouted. "Her clothes are really pretty, too..."
"Y-you're much prettier than she could ever hope to be!" Lovino tried to reassure her, speaking mostly out of instinct. He really couldn't help it; it was an automatic response to jealous females with low self-esteem fishing for compliments. Then, as soon the words were out of his mouth, he blushed and felt like hitting his head repeatedly on the wall. This was so not the time to talk about this, and it certainly didn't help his situation with Natalia at all. He could tell by the twitch in her eye and the derisive curl of her lip as she gave Bella the sort of look normally reserved for cockroaches and rats. "Listen, just shut up, okay? You're getting her mad!"
"Are you sure that's her? No one who looks that cute could be as vicious as you say—"
"Of course I'm sure, damn it!"
"I see. So you've got a new girlfriend," Natalia said, her voice soft and void of inflection. "You really are a manslut, aren't you? You cheated on me a few weeks after our marriage, and now, a few days after I swore to kill you in revenge, you're already traipsing around with yet another woman? Have you no shame at all?"
"Okay, I take back what I said," whispered Bella, holding onto Lovino for dear life. "She does look pretty scary all of a sudden!"
"I told you!" he whispered back, also holding onto her for dear life.
"There is only one cure for your problem, you know," Natalia went on, a sickly, perverse smile making its slow way into her face. She held up a knife that had also appeared seemingly out of thin air and turned it around, its blade glowing momentarily in the light of the setting sun. "I'll go through with my promise to you from our honeymoon. I'll cut them off so that you will never be interested in another woman again. Not that you will live much longer after that to feel bitter about it." She let out a quiet, dissonant laugh that sent shivers down Lovino's spine.
"You're sick!" Bella cried. "Lovino, do something! She's getting closer!"
"And then I will kill your brother, and your friend, and finally your girlfriend, all in front of your eyes, so you can die tormented by guilt from knowing that their lives were sacrificed because of you," Bella went on, her eyes almost completely glazed as she lost herself in some twisted, bloody fantasy. "Too bad dear Valentina will not be able to join us. I suppose I was a little hasty in killing her so quickly."
Lovino froze, tightening his hold on Bella without quite realising it.
"You did what?" he asked in a whisper, unwilling to accept what he had just heard. He hadn't thought about Valentina in a very long time; it just had never occurred to him that she might also have been targeted because of this affair. In retrospect, it seemed very naïve to think otherwise.
"You heard me," said Natalia. "Oh, I wish you had seen her. The poor thing, she didn't even know who I was or why she had to die! I was so angry that I pulled the trigger before I could say anything." That distorted, unnatural laugh again. "She never knew she was to die because of you!"
His heart clenched. Valentina... She'd been a whore and he had never felt anything for her – she had given him pleasure for one night and that had been it – but she'd still been a human being, a young girl with feelings like any other female. She hadn't deserved this fate, to have her life taken from her in such an abrupt manner for a reason she hadn't even been aware of. All because of him.
No. Not because of him. He had not killed her. It was Natalia's fault. Valentina had nothing to do with this; she had only been doing her job, scorned though it might be by society. Natalia had only gone after her because she was a vengeful monster.
Natalia was only a step away now. Without really thinking, Lovino shoved Bella away from him with one shaking hand and with the other he took the gun he had stolen from Ludwig to point it between Natalia's eyes. It angered him even more that she didn't even flinch when the cold metal touched her skin. Her knife clattered to the floor when she dropped it, but other than that, she showed no sign of surprise at all.
"Damn you! God damn you to hell, you fucking bitch! You had no right! No right!" he ranted at her, pressing the gun more forcefully against her brow, hoping to get some kind of response, even the slightest hint of fear. However, she just stared at him impassively, until she finally blinked and tears ran down her pale cheeks. Her eyes were still glassy, lost in a haze of madness.
"Go ahead," she whispered, her voice very quiet, almost inaudible, yet so full of spite that it took even Lovino aback. "Aren't you going to shoot me? Bastard. I will see you in hell. You won't get rid of me so easily. I hate you. I hate you so much. I have hated you from the first moment I set my eyes on you. I have hated you since I first heard your name. You took my father from me. You took my pride from me. You took my life from me. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Hate you. Hate you. Hate you. Hate you."
She seemed to have broken some kind of limit to her madness, her mind imprisoned by that one thought that she kept repeating. Lovino wanted to pull the trigger to silence her once and for all, but that interminable, dull chanting was echoing in synchrony with the same words he had uttered so many times in his lifetime, those last words to his grandfather so long ago, and also to his own brother earlier that day.
For the first time, it occurred to him that perhaps he was partly to blame for his wife's fall into insanity. It was true that he had commited a horrible sin and done something very cruel to her. She had never wanted to marry him in the first place; all she had ever wanted was continue living with her beloved father, the one person she truly cared about. But even her father had rejected her, had attempted to get rid of her by arranging a marriage with someone she hated and forcing her to inherit property she had never wished for. Had their love always been so one-sided?
All of a sudden, Lovino could picture what her childhood must have been like. Little Natalia trying to get her father's attention, trying to make him proud of her, trying to make him love her. And failing. He wouldn't even look at her. She was too clingy. She was too obsessive. She was too unsociable. She was a burden to him. She had to be kept away. He would have put her into an asylum, but even he couldn't bring himself to do such a thing to his own daughter.
I know the count has a daughter called Caterina. But I have never heard of a second daughter by the name of Natalia.
He could imagine it all too well. Caterina must have been the favourite daughter, always used as a model to compare the two sisters. Caterina always being better at everything, a daughter to be truly proud of and boast about to the entire county, whereas her sister, her violent, unapproachable, eccentric sister, was never mentioned, was kept away at home, hidden from the public like some kind of freak of nature.
Wasn't that exactly what had happened to Lovino himself? Abandoned by his grandfather, whose attention and love he had failed to gain, constantly compared to his brother and coming out defeated every single time, kept away at home, at the orphanage, or at the monastery because he was either too unsociable, too inadequate, or too sickly to go out and mingle with people, being forced to sneak out in secret? Dominated by hatred and repeating those three despicable words – I hate you, I hate you, I hate you – all the time, to everyone who ever hurt him?
If he was going to shoot Natalia, he might as well shoot himself, because right now, as he gazed upon her, it felt like looking in a mirror, a mirror that showed his future. Was this what he would eventually become, once his mind was completely consumed by hatred and resentment?
He lowered the gun, unable to meet her gaze any more. Part of him screamed, he really was useless, he couldn't even shoot the person who had ruined his life and sworn to kill him as well as everyone he had ever cared about.
Taking advantage of his hesitation, Natalia quickly reached behind where she kept her own gun concealed and with one swift movement struck him with the handle, knocking him down. After kicking his gun out of his hand and well out of reach, she pinned him to the floor by stepping on his chest with her high-heeled boot and pointed her own gun at him.
"You really are a pathetic worm! Just die, damn you!"
"No! Leave him alone!" Bella screeched, throwing herself against Natalia.
The young Russo must have completely forgotten about Bella's presence amidst the madness in her mind, for she didn't even react to the sudden attack and fell back under Bella's weight, accidentally pulling the trigger in the process and shooting the ceiling. The two girls wrestled on the floor, and if it were a less dire situation, Lovino would have taken a moment to watch such an unusual and interesting display.
As it was, he didn't even have the time to do something about it himself. By the time he got back on his feet, Natalia had struck Bella on the head and appeared to knock her out. Lovino was halfway to his gun when Natalia turned to him with her own gun back in hand and pointed it at him. Some distance behind Natalia, two of her thugs had just come in carrying one gun in each hand.
Oh, shit, he thought. This was it. Even a miracle couldn't save him when it was one weapon-less man against three armed people. He was going to die now, along with poor Bella, his brother, Antonio, and even that foreign bastard.
A shot rang out. Lovino shut his eyes, waiting for the pain to hit him, but after a few seconds, he was still unharmed. He hesitantly opened his eyes and saw Natalia's wide eyes, clear of all insanity for the first time. The gun dropped from her trembling hands as her body collapsed, blood oozing from the hole in her chest and staining her pretty dress. Lovino watched as the awareness in her eyes, tragically short-lived, gave way to the dull gaze of death.
Tearing his eyes out of the disturbing sight, he turned to see where that bullet had come from. Not from one of her thugs, certainly. No, it was a newcomer by the door, already preparing to take his leave. It must be one of the assassins Lovino had hired. So, they had finally arrived, after taking their sweet time.
A second shot rang out and the assassin grunted, falling to the floor. Fortunately, he quickly recovered and tried to shoot the thug that had got him. Next thing Lovino knew, there were ten men on one side and five on the other – where had all these people come from? – and bullets were whizzing back and forth over his head, some hitting a little too close to his person for comfort. He snatched his gun back, took cover, and began to shoot at Natalia's men until he ran out of bullets, which happened all too soon. At one point, he saw Bella, having recovered consciousness, crawling over to Natalia's gun and loading it with some difficulty to join in on the shoot-out.
Good grief, she would never learn, would she?
oOo
"I'm sorry I failed you, my lord," said Ludwig, his head lowered.
"Don't be so hard on yourself! You did your best!" said Feliciano, sounding a little too cheerful for someone who was tied up and at gunpoint. "Hey, you can still get us out of here! I can distract them while you get yourself free and strike them from behind! Huh? How does that sound? It's a great plan, isn't it?"
"Um. Feliciano. They can hear you, you know," Antonio pointed out, throwing the increasingly vexed thugs nervous glances. "They speak our language, so they understand every word you're saying."
"Are you sure? I didn't know trolls understood human language," said Feliciano. In response, the thug closest to him growled and poked him with his gun as if ready to shoot. Feliciano screamed and cried. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please don't shoot me! I have relatives in Monterosso! Well, one relative, but still—"
"Yes, and that relative just happens to be their worst enemy!" Ludwig snapped.
"Aw, Ludwig, why did you have to remind them of that!"
"You—You're such an idiot! I can't believe you're my master!"
Before things got out of control and took a tragic turn, the door was kicked open and a group of shady-looking men carrying several guns rushed in, hitting each thug with precise shots. Feliciano was near hysterical, but he calmed down when he realised that the strange newcomers were untying the prisoners and returning their confiscated swords.
"What? What?" asked Antonio in utter confusion. Now that the door was open, he could hear several screams and shots somewhere downstairs. "What?" he asked again, and he would keep asking until someone offered an explanation.
"We're done here! Let's go!" one of the men told his comrades and they filed out of the room in a rush. More shots were heard in the hallway they were in.
"I have a very bad feeling about this," murmured Ludwig.
Antonio took one look at his sword and the gun that had been handed to him. He could only assume he was supposed to use them.
"Sounds exciting!" he exclaimed.
oOo
The minutes – or maybe few hours – following the beginning of the shooting passed as a blur to Lovino. After he ran out of bullets, he tried to keep himself safe undercover, praying for it all to be over soon. Sometimes, curiosity would get the better of him and he could take a peek around the room to try to guess which side was winning. The third time he looked, Bella was nowhere to be seen, but at least he didn't see her bleeding body anywhere. He could only assume – or at least hope – that she had followed his example and taken cover after she had run out of bullets as well.
When it seemed as though it was going to be over soon, Antonio and Ludwig joined in and the battle resumed. Feliciano never showed up, or at least Lovino didn't see him, though he did hear the echo of his panicked wails. Would these thugs and those hired assassins never run out of bullets? Was this going to go on for ever and ever?
Eventually, all the noise became a distant buzz in his ears and he just felt too tired to deal with it any more, or maybe he had finally passed out from sheer terror, or had another attack, or got shot and died. All he knew was that one moment he had been surrounded by chaos, and then he must have lost consciousness for a while, because when he came to, all was silent and there were a pair of hands shaking him.
"Lovino? Lovino! Wake up! Are you hurt?" an annoying voice kept calling and asking him. Lovino groaned and made a half-hearted attempt at batting the hands away.
"Th' fuh' d'you wan', damn it..." he slurred.
"Lovino, come on, we've got to go home!"
Lovino had no idea where "home" was supposed to be, but with some effort and a little help from Antonio, he rose to his feet and took a look around. It was quite dark, a sign that the sun had fully set. There were some dead bodies around the room – though none of them were any of his friends, thank God – and the furniture was almost completely destroyed. Ludwig was nursing a few wounds, with Feliciano fussing over him until he saw his brother was awake and came over to talk to him.
"Hey, Lovino, I'm glad to see you're still alive! That was really crazy, huh? All those scary people shooting at each other and you and Bella were right in the middle of it! And then Ludwig and Antonio joined in, and I tried not to get too close, because it was so scary! But I found a gun and I tried to help a little! I'd never tried to shoot anyone before! It was so exciting! I only shot once, and I missed! I hit that vase over there! Impressive, huh? Um, you don't look so good, Lovino? Are you listening to me?"
Lovino opened his mouth to reply, but only a disoriented, wordless moan came out of it. He tried again after a few breaths.
"Is it over? Is—is Natalia dead?" he asked, not really willing to look at her body again to confirm it with his own eyes just yet.
"Hm, I don't know about her, but, um, yeah, it's over! We can go home now!"
Despite himself, Lovino glanced back over his shoulder to get a glimpse of Natalia's body as Antonio, supporting part of his weight, led him outside. He never had the chance to see anything, though, for Ludwig was the last to leave the house and blocked his sight, then quickly shut the door behind him. Lovino sighed. Maybe it was for the best. It was finally over and he could, at long last, leave all that behind. He couldn't pretend it had never happened, but he would damn well try his best.
"Are you all right, Bella?" he asked her when she came to walk next to him. Her entire body was shaking, but she had a small, tentative smile on her face.
"Th-that was—the scariest, most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me!" she said. Lovino was about to say something comforting to the poor traumatized girl, but then she added, "And also the most exciting! I-I'm still feeling a little... I don't know, a little euphoric! I almost wish I could do it again!"
"Miss, did you shoot anyone?" Feliciano asked her.
"Oh, Feliciano, I don't think we've ever been properly introduced before, though I've heard a lot about you! My name is Isabella Giannini, but you can call me Bella. All my friends do. And to answer your question, I don't know if I shot anyone. I wasn't really looking!" She and Feliciano laughed, and even Antonio joined in. Ludwig looked like he was trying to pretend he wasn't listening, and Lovino just hid his face with his palm. How had they got out of there alive with all these—these bumbling idiots?
"Lovino," Antonio called him in a quieter voice, and when Lovino looked at him, his expression was tired, but content. "You came to help us after all, and it was very brave of you. I'm proud of you. You're a true friend."
Lovino flushed and looked away, unable to take the compliment that deep down he had always wished for, but at the same time unable to refute it. He didn't deserve it. He didn't feel brave at all, in fact. He had only come this far by accident, because of Bella, and they had only won this fight thanks to the help he had hired. He, himself, had done nothing. He couldn't even shoot Natalia when he had the chance. He was still a useless coward.
"That's true, you were very brave to come here," he heard Bella say. Rather than sound like a swooning admirer, her tone was that of a gentle mother. "But to me, your bravest moment was when you chose not to shoot Natalia."
He looked up at that out of shock. He had just been thinking about how that had been his greatest moment of weakness, and here Bella was claiming the exact opposite?
Seeing his and the others' confusion, she smiled and explained, "It takes great courage and strength of spirit to have mercy on your worst enemy. You once told me what a bad person you are... But what you did today can only prove that you really are a good person, Lovino. If you were really as weak, spiteful, and selfish as you say, you'd have fallen into the temptation of killing her. And that would have sullied your soul. She was not worth that."
Beautiful words, but the didn't make him feel any better. If anything, they brought him even more shame. So what if he hadn't been the one to shoot Natalia? She was dead, anyway. Dead because he hired someone else to do the dirty job for him. What difference did it make? In a way, he was still the reason why she was dead. So much for his unsullied soul...
"I am grateful that we are all alive and that it is all over," said Ludwig, though the words didn't quite suit his monotone. "Even so, there is something I would like to know. Who were those people who saved us?"
"Yeah, I was also wondering about that..." mused Antonio, who, along with Feliciano and Bella, seemed to have not a clue. Ludwig, on the other hand, had pinned Lovino down with a hard stare.
"Just... just some friends I made in Terraverde," was all Lovino could bring himself to say, unable to look at any of them in the eyes.
"You make friends fast!" said Feliciano, impressed and still oblivious. Everyone but Ludwig accepted that answer and although Ludwig still threw Lovino suspicious, reproachful glares, the subject was completely dropped. While the other three chatted and recounted the recent events from their respective points of view, Lovino and Ludwig were tense and silent all the way home.
oOo
Much later that night, they finally arrived at Feliciano's manor, where they all had a meal – the first good meal that most of them had had in a very long time – and then taken a well-deserved rest. However, despite all the excitement, Lovino still woke up obscenely early in the morning, when the sky was still dark and decorated by thousands and thousands of stars. At least he hadn't had a nightmare – that he remembered – he just felt too agitated by the recent events to sleep for long.
Unable to fall back asleep and knowing it was pointless to stay in bed when he was like this, he got dressed and went to the balcony to watch the sky and the city of Terraverde, pondering that even the sky here looked more beautiful than in Monterosso. He tried to focus his thoughts on unimportant things like that; it was certainly better than thinking about what had happened last night, or the past few days. It was rather soothing, and he began to feel unusually relaxed.
After about an hour, he heard soft steps approaching him. From the corner of his eye, he saw his brother leaning over the balcony next to him, his fingers tapping on it in eagerness.
"Lovino! Lovino!" Feliciano called out after a few minutes of companionable silence, tugging at his brother's sleeve like an overexcited little child. "Um, I never really thought you'd come to help me from your kinky wife, but I'm glad you did, after all! You even brought help! I'm glad you don't hate me after all!" He tried to hug his brother, but Lovino pushed him away.
"Idiot! I didn't do it for you! I did it for myself. And for Bella. I was trying to stop her from going there."
"If you say so! I know that deep down you love me as much as I love you! We're family, after all!" To Lovino's mild horror, Feliciano's bottom lip began to quiver and tears pooled at the corners of his squinted eyes. "I was really so scared that I would never be able to see you again! I really, really missed you all these years, as much as I missed Grandpa."
Lovino scoffed, but a smile was tugging at his lips. He turned his face away to hide his traitorous face, but patted his twin's head affectionately.
"Don't get all sappy on me now, you jerk," was all he said, in grumbling tones, but Feliciano's grinned as though he had just heard a tearful profession of fraternal love. Taking advantage of the fact that Lovino had averted his gaze, he glomped and hugged him with all his might, almost causing the both of them to fall over.
"What the fuck, Feliciano? Let me go!"
"I'm glad you've forgiven me, whatever it is that I did wrong."
"What? What the hell are you talking about?"
Feliciano pulled away and wriggled his hands as if a little shy. "You seemed pretty mad at me when we saw each other for the first time in years... and you said some really hurtful things. But it's okay, because I know you didn't mean them. I think. Um... I don't know why you were so mad at me, but I'm sorry."
Lovino stared at him for a moment before turning his face away again, not in rejection, but because he still didn't know how to feel about his brother. The jealousy and the resentment were still there, probably would always be, but he didn't want to let them take him over. His brother didn't even know why Lovino saw him in such a negative light; he was so innocent and kind that hating him felt like a sin.
Speaking of sins, Lovino supposed he was the one in the wrong, not Feliciano. Envy was a great sin. If anyone here should be apologising, it was him. And yet, here was his innocent brother, whose only crime had been to exist and excel at everything that Lovino couldn't.
Lovino still couldn't bring himself to apologise, though.
"Um..." Feliciano went on, fidgeting a little more. "I hope you can forgive Grandpa, too. Someday."
"What?" Lovino shifted irritably. Every time their grandfather was brought up, he felt ill at ease. Feliciano also looked nervous, but he was smiling sweetly, without a doubt recalling the days he had spent in the company of his beloved Grandpa.
"Do you know why he left you at the orphanage before he left me?"
Lovino immediately tensed, now pointedly avoiding Feliciano's eyes.
"Isn't it obvious?" he said through gritted teeth. "It's because he liked you better. I was a burden to him. A shame. I was never a talented artist like the both of you."
"Is that what you think? What you believed all this time?" Feliciano let out a sad sigh and rested a warm hand on Lovino's shoulder. "Do you still have the sickness?"
Lovino could feel the heat spreading all over his face, which he tried to hide even though it was too dark for his brother to notice it much anyway. Why was he bringing this up all of a sudden? Lovino hated talking about this. Hated with a passion. He didn't even say a word in response. Hopefully, his brother would get the hint and drop the subject. Alas, his hope was fruitless.
"I'll take that as a yes," said Feliciano. "That's too bad. That always made me really sad, you know. Not only because it gave you so much trouble, but also because it's what kept us apart when Grandpa grew too old."
Lovino perked up at that last part, though he still didn't look at his brother or say anything. What did he mean?
As if he could read his mind, Feliciano answered, "I think he always suspected there was something wrong with you. He once told me he had found you passed out a couple of times. He never caught you having an actual fit, but he suspected something. And he got really scared. He was really afraid that he couldn't help you. He really was too old and weak. He could barely take care of me." Feliciano sighed again. "He thought he was doing you a favour by leaving you in 'capable hands'. But I think he began to second-guess himself later on. I don't know what you said to him when he left you at the orphanage, but knowing you, I have a good idea... He was really hurt by it, you know."
That last sentence was like a dagger to Lovino's heart. As he would usually do when agitated, he responded with irritation.
"God damn it, Feliciano! How come I never heard anything about it at all? How long have you known that? Why did you never tell me? Why did he never tell me anything? Don't you think I had the right to know?"
"I do, Lovino! I do!" said Feliciano sadly. "But... I guess Grandpa thought we were too young to understand at the time. He only told me all this when he was near his death. He tended to ramble a lot about things he regretted."
Lovino grabbed his brother by the shoulders and shook him. "But why didn't you tell me? You and I lived under the same roof for years after the old man died, damn it!"
"You kept avoiding me!" said Feliciano, with the hint of a pout. "You didn't even want to acknowledge me as your brother most of the time! We were like complete strangers, and you didn't want to talk to me at all. You have no idea how much that hurt me."
Lovino stared into his brother's unusually serious, sorrowful eyes, looking eerily similar to his grandfather's eyes on that horrible day that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Again he felt compelled to apologise for hurting his brother, but he still couldn't do it. He just settled on letting go of him forcefully and turning away again, this time to hide the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. Now more than ever he felt so conflicted about grandfather...
"But I forgive you, because that's what family does," Feliciano went on. "What matters to me is that we're together again, and that you don't hate me any more. I can only hope you'll forgive Grandpa, too, and not hate him. We have to let go of the past and enjoy the present now that we're finally a family again."
"Are we?"
Feliciano gently coaxed Lovino to turn to face him again, bestowing upon him that angelic smile that could melt almost anyone's heart.
"Lovino, my brother, when I asked Ludwig to bring you here, I wanted to give you a nice surprise. I didn't want to gloat about my good fortune. I wanted to share it with you. I still do! My house is your house, my money is your money, my food is your food... This is now the Vargas estate, and you're a Vargas just like me, so you have the right to own this. I want us to live like a united family, just the way we are supposed to be."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Lovino burst out and pulled away from his brother. "We're two adults now. There's no reason why we should live together any more, and I don't need your fucking charity! We grew up apart, so it's only natural we go our separate ways now."
"Won't you please reconsider?" Feliciano beseeched. "This is what Grandpa always wished for the two of us. To be a united family, living the life of noblemen – and nobility is in our blood, remember? Living in this beautiful, cultured city... It was one of Grandpa's dreams, and now we can make it true."
"Why should I give a flying fuck about that old bastard's dreams? Shit..." He sniffled, but adamantly fought not to let any tears fall. He hated to be as much of a crybaby as Feliciano, especially when he was already a grown-up man.
"At least stay with me for a while! Just to see how you like it. If it really doesn't work out... then... you can go, and I won't bother you ever again. But please, give me just one little chance! Pleeeease!"
"Ugh! Fine, fine, I'll stay just for a little while, if only to make you stop begging like a pathetic idiot."
Feliciano made a noise between a hurray and a squeal and hugged his brother again. Lovino just sighed and bore with it for now. Sure, he would give this a chance. Who knew, maybe he would even sort of almost grow to like it?
If nothing else, at least he got to live like a lazy nobleman, just as planned from the very beginning.
A/N: And here we end the first arc. I'm still working on the second arc and I plan on posting the new chapters only when I've finished the whole story, so this fic will be on hiatus for a while. To all my readers, thank you for sticking with it so far!