A/N: This is the last day and then the epilogue. I'LL EDIT AFTER THIS STORY IS OVER. Thank-you to all the people who liked this story, I actually thought about trashing it...
Your dead longer than you are alive.
Think about it.
You spend about eighty years breathing, laughing...being loved by and then, for eternity you are dead. I never really thought about it like that. I never thought that in reality you are alive for a single second within time.
You let it all brush by, not really looking forward but facing behind. You don't show the people you love the love that they show you. And when it's all over your faced with a scary fear. A fear of remembering all the things you hadn't remembered.
Like tellling Mom that you loved her instead of asking her to drop you off around the block so your friends don't see her. Or telling your best friend when you accidently sprained her wrist that you were sorry instead of denying it. Or worse, not telling that special someone that you love them more than they love you.
I used to think like that. I always had my head in the game, too busy with Sibuna, too busy with school, too busy crying myself to sleep on the anniversary of my parent's death.
I was just too busy. But in the last moment when I swear that deer looked straight into my eyes. I saw something. I saw a secluded lake that growing flowers wrrapped around and the sun shining down on it. I saw myself lying in the fresh green grass, a smile on my face as I enhaled it all in.
Then darkness surrounded me. I held on for an hour after that. Listening to noise after noise until it seemed pointless. The big tall door was about to close for me and I didn't want to be stuck in the middle.
So I let it happen.
I embraced death.
DAY THREE
"Did Jerome steal my clothes again." Amber groaned. I blinked twice taking in the bittersweet smell of blueberry muffins. It dawned on me that I had never noticed the smell before.
I sprang from my bed and ran over to hug Amber. I pulled away to stare at her shocked face.
"Yes. Yes Jerome did steal your clothes." I smiled widely and ran out of our shared room more excited than I had ever been in my life. "Nina...?" Amber called. I ignored her and ran through the hallway running into Fabian.
Fabian opened his mouth to say something but I interupted with my lips on his. For a second he was shocked but he loosened as I smiled. I had to stand on the tip of my toes. I felt loose and my heart was beating fast
"Whoa-," He blushed as I pulled away. "Umm, you and Amber are going-." He started.
"I know. Me and Amber are going to be late." I finished for him.
"Wait for me downstairs." I ask playing with his fingers.
He gave an unsure smile. I leaned in to kiss him softly on the cheek. "Great." I smile and run downstairs to the boys' hall. The floor is cold against my bare feet and I can't restrain a giggle as I am doing all this. I mean, I must be crazy; waking up and giving suprise hugs, kissing my boyfriend oh so bubbly and runnning through Anubis House barefooted.
But I had a mission. The whole world felt weird yet I had to enjoy this. I was glad that I knew that now. I ran down the hallway, once I reach Jerome's room I swing it open with great force.
"Jerome." I growl. Jerome's back is faced to me and he is putting on his school tie.
He turns around suprised to see me. "Martin, what are you doing?" He asks, his shocked expression slowly being replaced with a cocky one. One of his eyebrow arched and his hand drop to his sides.
"You stole Amber's entire wardrobe." I say, now it's my time to arch my eyebrow. "So give them back Jerome." I feel power surging through my body.
"OK, if I did steal Amber's clothes, why should I give them back?" He retorted, continuing to tie his tie.
"I wonder what Mara would say?" I say innocently.
Jerome stares out of the door into the kitchen where Patricia and Mara are. For the first time ever I see Jerome seriously thinking.
"Fine." He surrenders and my hands find themselves on my hips. Jerome bends over and pulls five big, cardboard boxes from under his bed.
"Here." He huffs as he struggles to pick up all the boxes and put them on his bed. I let out a chuckle.
"As if I am going to carry those boxes all the way upstairs."
Watching Jerome carry the boxes upstairs was so funny I kept laughing. Even Alfie joined in with me as he came from the kitchen,with three blueberry muffins in each hand.
"Now, remember Jerome; apologize to Amber-!" I say but Jerome cuts me off with a deadly glare and I stiffle a laugh.
As Jerome carries the last box upstairs, Fabian descends down the steps in his freshly pressed uniform.
"Hey." He gives that oh so handsome shy smile.
Alfie looks between the two of us and takes a bite out of a muffin. I hold a gentle stare with Fabian. "Hey guys guess what," When we don't respond, Alfie continues. "It's my Birthday."
A small smile plays on Fabian's lips as we break apart. He is just so cute. "Oh really Alfie? Happy Birthday." I say and now turn my smile on Alfie who is now eating his Blueberry muffin.
"Yeah, Alfie maybe us Sibuna's can celebrate later." Fabian says but Alfie quickly adds; "No need, Trudy is making pasta." He licks his lips and me and Fabian laugh.
"The only thing that sucks about my birthday is that we have that big Bio test with Mr. Sweet." Alfie groans but I don't know if he is groaning about the test or the fact that he just finished his muffin.
The Bio Test! I hadn't even remembered the test and I hadn't even realised it was Alfie's birthday.
Fabian smiles as Alfie goes up to me and Amber's room. I return the smile and close the space inbetween us by offering yet another sweet kiss. His hands find my face and this time it's his turn to smile.
"I have to get ready stay here." I say against his lips and pull away.
Before he can reply I spin around and skip to my bedroom.
I've never felt this good.
After everyone in Anubis House leaves except for me and Fabes I find myself tearing through my draws looking for that white dress.
Once I find it, I put it on and stare at the reflection in my mirror. The sleeves are laced and are a quartre inch length while the simple skirt part went just a little above my knees. I found my green converse and let my hair down.
I grab my messanger bag and return to the front hall of Anubis House. Fabian most be outside so I quickly sneek into the kitchen and grab some fruit and muffins and place them gently into my empty bag, I even grab the picnic blanket from the laundry room and fold it up.
I smile as I am doing all of this. I feel like such a rebel, today I have no intention of going to school. It's really hard to believe that the first day I had ignored the loop hole and then yesterday I had excepted death and today I saw it as a gift.
Once I am ready I leave Anubis House and see Fabian waiting patiently for me.
He really is sweet.
"Hey..." He falters when he sees me out of my uniform. "Nina, where is your uniform?" He asks and I give a frown.
"Don't like?"
He blushes and nearly trips over his words trying to fix them but only making them worse. "No-no-I mean, um,".
I smile. "It's OK. I was joking." I take my hand in his.
"You look beautiful." He says and this time he isn't stuttering in fact he sounds so sure of his words it's scary. Butterflies fill my stomach and my cheeks turned red like his.
"Thank-you. And I am not wearing my uniform 'cause we are not going to school." He looks shocked for a moment but instead of waiting for consent, with my other hand I grab his wrist and drag him in the direction towards the forest.
As we walk, I know I am following instinct as I guide him with my hands over his eyes.
After I died all I could remember was that lake I saw, the flowers and the gleaming sun. I was so determined to find it again.
"Where are we going?" He asks for the fifth time and for the fifth time I tickle his ear with my breath by saying; "trust me".
The sticks and dirt beneath us don't bother me, but make Fabian a little uncomfortable so I quicken my pace.
"We are here." I say as I reach the open medow. The grass is a fresh green and the sun is reflecting so clearly of the lake. The flowers are still blooming and I even gasp like Fabian.
"Wow, this place...it's beautiful." He observes and bringing me with him he pulls me closer to the lake. The lake is huge and continues into the depths of the forest but what really suprises me is that we never found it before. I mean we had been in the forest so many times before, how had we never seen it?
I pull the blanket from my bag and Fabian laughs. "Your just full of suprises. Aren't you." I wiggle my eyebrows and we both take a seat once I spread the blanket out.
"I am."
By the afternoon our legs are numb from lying on the blanket all morning. Fabian is lying on his back with his head curved so he can see me and I am propped up against an elbow.
"Your hair looks like gold in the sun." He says and I blush while smiling.
"Hmm, really 'cause it looks like a mess to me." I look down and Fabian smiles.
"You really doubt yourself don't you." He comments and I force myself to look at him. This was it. This moment seemed perfect.
"I love you."
His expression didn't change which kept my heart beat steady.
I look around nervously hoping he would reply...and he did. Fabian strained his head up to greet me with a kiss. "I know." He says against my lips. He has said it to me before, he has told me he loved me thousands of times...but right now, was my first time saying it.
"Good," I say and pull away.
"What?" His expression is puzzled as I grab a banana from my bag.
"You hungry?"
When the day is over and twilight approuches me and Fabian find our way back to the house. Our hands are wrapped in each others and I feel safe at his touch. I can't believe, I managed to forget.
I guess that was something love did to you. As we reached the house it dawned on me that, I never would be able to continue this love or go deeper because I would just repeat this day over and over. A part me was just fine with that.
"Yum, Trudy this is good." Alfie says as he devours the pasta. I smile as this is the third time he has said that and everytime he has been right.
Me and Fabes hold hands beneath the table and a warm feeling sinks into my skin. This is where I want to be, this is where I want to stay forever.
I can't help it, but by every passing hour I grow more selfish by not wanting the day to end.
I look at Jerome and Mara where Jerome is bearing Mara's continuous chatters about the 'big Bio test'-he must really care about her. Amber who is giving Alfie a disgusted look as he so rudely eats. Eddie and Patricia are play arguing while Joy sits there sharing the same look with Amber. With these people by my side it felt so right.
"Nina, the phone." Trudy says, walking into the dining room.
My heart drops a thousand feet...this is it.
After hanging up the phone with Gran I expect the whole house to be sad but they are not. In fact they are the exact opposite. It's not their fault but I can't help but feel angry.
While waiting for Gran to arrive at the house I slowly say goodbye to everyone. I hug Amber tightly telling her that 'Amfie' is worth every second, I punch Jerome's arm for fun and tell him to take care of Mara 'cause girls like that don't come around easily, I joke with Alfie and Eddie give hugs to Patricia and Mara, and even say a goodbye to Joy.
Fabian is last. A tear rolls down my face and I kiss him wrapping my arms around his neck. I don't want this to end, I want this to be forever, to never let go. But when Trudy lets Gran in, I know I have to let go.
"I'll see you tommorow." He whispers.
"Yes. Yes you will."
Death is not a warm brace in which we gladly welcome. But for me, it was. I had spent my day with Fabian and not forgotten to do everything right. When I saw the deer in the middle of the road I didn't scream but closed my eyes and pictured Fabian and I by the lake.
I expected to wake up the next morning but I didn't. Instead I finally understood what it meant by 'your dead longer then your alive'.
When you die, they say you will remember the things that you didn't remember. It wasn't like that for me...why, 'cause I didn't forget anything.
A/N: Now I just have to write the epilogue...writing the last day was sad for me but I tried to make it happy.