A/N Hello again :) Here's another update for you. Please leave some love if you can, or anything else you'd like to say.

Thanks to my beta, Breath-of-Twilight. She is awesomesause :) I'm also participating in her Countdown to 2012, Farewell to 2011. You should definitely check it out. It starts October 1st. The link is as follows:

http:/www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/7348457/1/Countdown_to_2012_Farewell_to_2011

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is a goddess and she owns all of the Twilight universe. I own the story line. Please do not steal what isn't yours. No copyright infringement intended.

All the Loves of Our Lives

11. Questions

Later that night, Edward held me while I cried. He had already helped me throw away the cat box. We stowed the bag of fresh food and litter in case I decided I'd want another cat at some point. That little revelation had sent me into another fit of hysterical crying. My cat was barely gone and we were already discussing the option to get another one. Truthfully, I didn't think I had enough time to devote to another animal. Jakey had kept me company for so long while Riley was doing his own thing that I had totally relied on my relationship with Jakey for companionship. Now that I had Edward, I didn't feel like I would be in need of any other form of companionship. It was a sad way to think. However, I was going to grieve Jakey's loss for awhile so I wasn't even ready to start thinking about replacing him.

The next day, we lazed around the house in the morning. My head felt like it was in a fog, and I just felt kind of lost inside. I just moved about the house trying to get some semblance of normalcy for myself and get into a new routine.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" Edward asked, bringing me back to reality.

"Sure, I just want to get the clothes in the dryer before we leave."

I turned away from him and made my way into the laundry room. From the window on the side door, I could see a car pull into Edward's driveway. The windows were tinted but I knew who drove that car.

Felix stepped out of the car wearing a pressed suit and looking quite foreboding. I stood and watched him from the window hoping that he wouldn't see me inside. As he walked up the front porch and knocked on Edward's door, I could see his shoulder's tense as he waited for Edward to answer. Since Edward was still here, I wondered how long it would be before he decided to come and check for him here.

"What are you looking at?" Edward whispered into my ear, nearly causing me to jump out of my skin.

"You scared the crap out of me. Jeez, make a little noise next time."

Edward laughed and moved behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest.

"So what is it that you're looking at?"

His gazed followed my own, and his features hardened when his eyes landed on Felix. Before I could even register what was happening, Edward had yanked open the side door, slamming it behind him and stalking towards Felix. If it hadn't been for my dislike and weird feelings that Felix instilled in me, I would have followed; but instead, I found myself completely frozen in my spot.

I could hear raised voices as Edward's presence finally became known to Felix. Both men were equally tall, however Felix a much larger stature. Edward held firm and they appeared to argue heatedly for a few minutes. Edward wouldn't look in my direction, and I could only hope that he didn't alert Felix to my presence.

Finally, Felix seemed to give up and move towards his car. Edward followed closely behind him and waited for Felix to get in the car. He stood stoically as he watched Felix back out of the driveway and speed off down the street. Once he was out of sight, I yanked the door open and ran to Edward.

"What was that all about? Are you okay?"

"Yes, everything's fine. It's just Felix." He sighed, leaving it at that, without another word on the subject, and reached for me. I took comfort in his embrace, and then he slowly walked us back towards the laundry room. With the door closed behind us, Edward swiftly wheeled around and pressed me against the washing machine. All I could hear was our labored breaths, the hum of the dryer, and the agitating of the washer.

With his mouth on my neck and my hands in his hair, he grabbed for the backs of my legs, hoisting me up on the machine. I could feel his chest pressed against me and his hands squeezing my thighs. All I could think about was how much I wanted him to consume me, but there was a nagging thought at the back of my brain that there was something wrong. It wasn't that Edward wasn't affectionate, he was, but he just wasn't ever this aggressive. I loved it, but it just wasn't how he was with me, or at least, he hadn't ever been that way with me before.

His hands went to his shirt, jerking it over his head and throwing it somewhere behind him. My hands tore at my own shirt trying to disentangle myself so I could feel his skin on my own. Everywhere that his mouth made contact on my body caused my skin to feel like it was on fire, and I was crazy with my need for him. Quickly shedding the rest of our clothes, I cried out as he slammed into me suddenly. As he thrust wildly into me, I was overcome with sensation and was literally clawing at his back to hold tight to him. Thrust after thrust sent me spiraling into space as I saw stars behind my eyes, screaming as I shuddered against him, wave after wave of pleasure completely overcoming me.

Edward, though, was disconnected from our coupling, still slamming into me over and over again until his muscles tensed and he crushed me in his embrace.

His head dropped to my shoulders, and I wondered what was going on.

I reached for his face, placing my hands on his cheeks. "Hey, where'd you go? You have to tell me what's going on for me to be able to do anything to help. I want to help, Edward. You just have to trust me and let me in." I had spoken so softly that I wondered if he had even heard what I had just said to him.

He kept his eyes downcast and was panting still from the exertion he had used with his thrusts. I hoped that he wasn't embarrassed or ashamed at what we'd done. I certainly wasn't. It was refreshing to feel so alive and wanted again, after being in such an emotional void. It had been far too long since I had completely been able to let go of all my inhibitions. Edward did that to me. He made me feel safe enough to be myself and just do what felt right with my body. I had quite a few major events happen to me in the short time that I'd known Edward. But it was the fact that Edward was with me that made me be able to get through those times.

He was my rock.

Ever since we came together that first time, I knew we had this undeniable connection that had bonded me to him permanently. I could feel the cords interweaving through our souls that connected to our hearts.

I knew that I loved him in that moment. It was crystal clear to me, and I wanted to bask in that love for as long as possible.

I couldn't explain it. I had never experienced that feeling in my whole life, to be that consumed by someone, to want to be completely owned by that person. Edward made me want to crawl into his arms and live in the safety of his embrace.

As the haze of lust lifted from my brain, I notice that Edward's face was streaked with tears. He still had yet to raise his eyes to mine, and his clear display of emotion made me shiver.

My body quivered for just a moment, causing Edward's head to snap up, his eyes meeting mine.

"Oh, Bella… I… what… what have I done?"

"What do you mean, Edward? You haven't done anything, honey? What's going on? What's the matter? I can't help you if you don't let me in."

He just stood there, softening but still inside me, with this vacant look in his eyes. It was like he was looking right through me.

"Edward? You're starting to scare me. Please… tell me what's going on? Does this have to do with Felix?"

When I mentioned Felix's name, it was like lighting a match. Edward instantly seemed to snap back to reality; quickly wiping the tears from his eyes, pulling out of me, and picking his pants up off the floor.

Once his clothes were back on, he started pacing back and forth, quietly talking to himself and yanking at his hair.

I couldn't make out what he was saying but he was clearly distressed.

I hopped off the machine, standing in his path. He bumped into me, making eye contact and then taking me into his arms again.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have been that rough with you. I can't believe you let me act that way. I promise I won't ever get carried away like that again."

I was so confused. Had he not realized how into our lovemaking I was? Did he not feel the affect he had on me?

"What you are you talking about? I don't know what's going on with you, but you need to tell me right now, Edward. You're starting to scare me. What did Felix say to you?"

Edward was quiet for a moment, and he looked like he was struggling to say something.

"You know you can tell me anything, anything at all. I know there's something going on. I don't know what's going on with you and Felix but you have to let me in a little if you want me to trust you."

He made eye contact with me, and I wanted so badly to comfort him but I wouldn't allow myself to do that until I got some answers. Edward had always seemed so mysterious. Since the moment he came into my life, he was like a locked vault. There were little answers for his behavior, and I had been content not asking for answers. But the time for answers was now. I wanted to know because I was letting him in my life. I wanted him to be a part of my life. The only way that we would ever be able to work would be to communicate.

Riley and I had a total lack of communication. In the end, we hardly spoke to each other at all. I wouldn't allow that to happen to us. I couldn't do it. I felt more for Edward in the short time that I had known him than I had in the entirety of my relationship with Riley.

"Edward?"

"I want to tell you, Bella," he said so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

"Then you should tell me."

"What if you don't believe me? What if you want me to leave? What if you think I'm crazy?"

He was scaring me with his questions, the unknown parts of his life that he hadn't shared with me. We hadn't known each other for very long; there were a million things we didn't know about each other. I cared enough that I was willing to look past the questions that we hadn't asked. Now though, I wanted answers, whatever they would be.

"Edward, I need answers. Please, you have to be honest with me. I promise, I won't question you until you've had a chance to explain yourself. I just want you to let me in.

"I feel this thing between you and me. This undeniable bond you and I seem to share. You can't deny that you've felt it, too. Now, that sounds crazy to me. I feel like I've lost myself when I'm with you. What scares me the most, though, I don't care. I just want to be with you, Edward. I just want to be a part of your life. I just can't do this alone, Edward. Please… talk to me."

His eyes were still wet and rimmed in red. Whatever was bothering him seemed to weigh him down. If I could bear some of his burden then I would.

He looked me directly in the eyes. "Let's go sit down. I think that would be a good idea for what I'm about to tell you."