A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. Here's the next chapter, which I was going to post later so I can post it with a pezberry fanart for this fic (which would have been on my tumblr) , but it's not finished yet and I don't want to keep everyone waiting for an update, so here it is.
Santana sighed as she laid in bed, starting at the ceiling. She had woken up a while ago, from a dream again. A dream about her. Sighing, she turned to her side and closed her eyes, remembering it.
Santana slowly walked up to the petite girl in front of her, who was busy playing in the dirt. She grinned as she came up from behind and wrapped her arms around her. The other girl squeaked and dropped the stick she was using, making Santana giggle and hug her harder.
"You're so soft," Santana said and looked down at the ground, where there was a stick-figure drawing of two girls. "Is that us?" Santana felt the other girl nod and Santana smiled. "Cool." Santana unwrapped her arms from the girl and moved to sit in front of her, mindful of the picture. She looked at the picture, then started to look up.
Santana groaned, she had another dream about the girl she left behind at the orphanage again, and still couldn't remember a name or face. No matter how many weeks went by, the dreams never ended, nor did the feeling of frustration after. She got up and as she got ready she cursed at herself. Despite the fact that she said she was going to forget the girl, the memories still came back. Just then her phone went off and she answered it angrily.
"What?" She snapped.
"Good morning to you too." Quinn said and Santana sighed, she hadn't even checked who it was.
"Sorry, Q, what's up?"
"Me and B are coming to pick you up."
"Cool, thanks." Santana hung up the phone and continued to get ready. When she heard Quinn's car horn, she walked to the door. Just as she was going to leave, she saw the free Breadstix tickets on her desk and grinned. She quickly grabbed them and walked to Quinn's car.
"Hey guys," She said as she took her place in the backseat and Quinn nodded at her and Brittany smiled brightly. Santana leaned forward in her seat as Quinn drove them and got as close to Quinn and Brittany as she could.
"No, why?"
"Cuz I feel like getting my eats on at Breadstix." Santana pulled out the tickets and waved them as far as she could between the two girls.
"You haven't gone yet?" Quinn asked, surprised. Usually Santana jumped at the chance to go to Breadstix and would eat there all the time if everyone let her.
"Nope, I'm gonna convince Rachel to go with me today and you two are coming with." Santana said, intent on Quinn and Rachel getting to know each other more.
"So we all get to hang out with Rachy today?" Santana nodded and Brittany jumped up and down in her seat happily. "Let's go, Quinn." Quinn sighed and nodded, making Brittany more happy and Santana grinned and leaned back in her seat.
Rachel sighed as she went through her locker. She had gotten closer to Santana, so much that she was sure Santana considered her a friend too. But Rachel wondered if Santana remembered anything from their past at all.
She was broken out of her thoughts when she felt someone put their hands in her hair and mess it up. Rachel turned around and saw Puck.
"Hello Noah," She greeted as she closed her locker and started walking with him down the hall. "How are you?"
"Fine," Puck said with a shrug. "What about you? You and Santana are getting pretty close," Rachel shrugged and Puck pulled to the side of the hallway. "You think she remembers?"
"I don't know, she hasn't said anything," Rachel said sadly and Puck gave her an sympathetic smile. "What if…what if I just tell her?"
"Do you want to?" Puck asked, knowing all the hardship Rachel was going through all this time, choosing not to tell Santana.
"I don't know what to do anymore."
"Hey, cheer up, you'll think of something." Rachel smiled up at Puck and the two walked to class. When they walked to their seats, they stopped in front of their desks, confused.
"Uh, dude." Puck said, and Santana looked up. She was sitting in Puck's seat and leaned back with her arms folded and a smirk on her face.
"I'm sitting here today," Santana reached over and patted Rachel's desk. "Next to Rachel."
"Puck!" They all looked at Brittany, who was sitting in her seat waving widely at Puck. Puck sighed and waved back as he walked to her. Rachel sat down in her seat and Santana leaned towards her.
"Hey, Rachel, let's go to Breadstix with Britt and Q."
"You haven't gone already?" Rachel asked and Santana shook her head.
"Nope, cuz you would've gone with."
"Oh." Rachel thought Santana would have gone with either Quinn or Brittany instead of her, and she mentally scolded herself for thinking that. Despite how close the two had gotten, a part of her still thought that Quinn and Brittany would come first before her.
"So today I'm picking you up after practice." Santana leaned back in her seat and Rachel nodded. Mr. Schuester walked in and stared at Santana and Puck, a little confused before starting class. As Mr. Schuester was talking, Santana leaned her head against her hand and looked at Rachel.
She was rather excited for Breadstix, but mostly because it was a chance for Rachel and Quinn to get to know each other, since the two hardly talked at all during school. Santana looked at Brittany and smiled, glad that she liked Rachel so much. Santana looked back at Rachel and noticed she was staring at her paper. Looking more closely, Santana saw Rachel drawing something and raised an eyebrow, curious of what she was drawing.
Santana kept staring at Rachel, watching her draw, and then started focusing on the movement of her hand. She looked at Rachel's hand, and noticed how soft they looked. Suddenly, she had an impulse to reach out and touch them, to see how soft they really were. As Santana looked at them, she thought of one of her old nicknames for Rachel, Manhands, and she mentally kicked herself because they weren't manly at all. If anything, they were one of the most feminine and soft-looking hands she had seen.
"Um, Santana?" Santana jumped a little in her seat and looked up at Rachel.
"H-huh?" Rachel smiled and nodded towards the person in front of Santana, who was holding out a paper waiting for Santana to take. Giving Rachel an embarrassed smile, she quickly grabbed the papers and almost forgot to grab one, before handing the rest back to the person behind her.
"Alright class, you can work in partners." Mr. Schuester said and the class quickly started filling up with everyone talking with their class partner.
"Would you like to work together, Santana?" Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"You don't have to ask, you know I would anyway."
"Right, sorry." Rachel said with a small smile and looked down at her paper again. Santana followed her gaze and saw Rachel crossing off what she had been drawing. Santana frowned, wondering what it was, but didn't say anything and looked away before she could stare again.
Breadstix couldn't come soon enough and Rachel was waiting for Santana to pick her up. She was in her room, staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything that had happened at school when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Rachel said and heard the door open. She didn't need to look up, after all, thre was only one other person living in the house with her. Rachel felt the bed dip and Shelby ran her fingers through Rachel's hair. Rachel frowned and looked up at Shelby. "What's wrong?"
"What, there needs to be something wrong to spend quality time with my daughter?" Shelby chuckled and Rachel sat up.
"No, guess not." Rachel smiled at Shelby and looked down uncomfortably. "So, how's work?"
"Good," Shelby said. "How's school?"
"Good." Rachel replied and the two sat in uncomfortable silence, unsure of what to say next. Rachel, still conscious of Shelby's fingers running through her hair, shifted a little bit away. Shelby moved her hand to her lap, a little hurt, but didn't say anything.
"I'm glad you have friends here." Shelby said honestly and Rachel nodded.
"Me too." More importantly, she was glad she had Santana. Rachel couldn't help but smile at the thought for a little bit and Shelby noticed.
"You look like you have a lot on your mind." Rachel looked at Shelby and then back down. She bit her lip, wondering what to tell Shelby. Luckily, she didn't have to think any longer, because her phone went off and she looked at it.
"It's Santana, I should get it." Shelby nodded and Rachel answered the phone.
"Yo, we're here." Santana said.
"Kay, I'm heading out right now," Rachel hung up and turned back to Shelby, who was still sitting on her bed. "They're here, so…."
"Have." Rachel nodded and waved to Shelby as she made her way out the room. Shelby sighed and stayed in Rachel's room long after Rachel had walked out the front door before getting up and going to her own bedroom. She walked to the dresser and pulled out an old box from one of the drawers, taking it to the bed and laying down with it.
She opened it and started taking out its contents, old papers and photographs. One of the first papers she pulled out was of the map she used to get to the orphanage for the first time to pick Rachel up. She laughed lightly remembering all the times she got lost and pulled out the old receipt with the cost of gas she had to refill into her car.
She pulled out the rest of the papers until all of them were spread out around her and all that was left was photographs of her and Rachel though the years. She smiled at each one and she finally reached the last one. It was of her and Rachel on the first day Rachel stepped into Shelby's home. Rachel hadn't even changed for the picture, she was still in the worn out clothes from the orphanage.
Shelby ran her finger over Rachel in the picture and studied her face. Shelby had to admit, even at eight years old, the girl looked so sad. Shelby knew it then and knew it now, and part of her wondered if he was the reason for Rachel's sadness. Shelby closed her eyes and wondered what her life would have been like without Rachel and all of the times she had with her as she drifted off to sleep.
Rachel slid into the seats of the table they had gotten, with Santana sliding next to her. In front of her was Quinn, and Brittany was next to her. Rachel looked up and smiled at Quinn, who gave her a tight smile back. Sighing, Rachel opened her menu and was looking through it when she heard Santana next to her.
"Psst, Rachel, hey, Rachel," Rachel looked over to see Santana hunched over the table and themenu standing upward in front of her, hiding her from Quinn and Brittany.
"Santana, what are you-" Santana smirked and her finger to her lips, effectively making Rachel stop talking. Santana started gesturing Rachel towards her and Rachel looked uncertainly at Quinn and Brittany. Quinn looked at Santana as if she had just grown two heads while Brittany just looked curious.
Rachel looked back at Santana, who was still motioning her forward. Slowly, Rachel scooted toward Santana until the other girl stopped moving her hand. Rachel quickly realized she was also covered by the menu, and their faces were centimeters apart. Rachel swallowed harshly and tried to look anywhere but at Santana, who was staring right at her with that smug look Rachel had grown to love, all the while feeling herself blush.
"Listen, Rachel," Santana said, louder than a whisper, and definitely loud enough for Quinn and Brittany to hear. "Don't mind Q, she's just got a major stick up her ass, like usual. It's, like, jammed in there, but anyway," Rachel rolled her eyes at Santana's words and Santana just kept grinning. "Don't let it get to you, she's actually a softy, just ask Britt. Oh, and-"
"I can hear you, dumbass." Santana brought the menu down and looked at Quinn smugly, before wincing in pain.
"You fucking kicked me." Quinn rolled her eyes.
"You deserved it." Brittany looked at Quinn, then down at her bottom.
"Quinn, you have a stick in you? Isn't that painful?" Quinn looked at Brittany and followed her gaze. She shifted uncomfortably under Brittany's intense glare and smiled at her.
"No, I don't, it's just a figure of speech." Brittany looked up at Quinn and frowned.
"I don't understand them, they just confuse me more." Quinn smiled at Brittany and laughed a little at the blonde's innocence. While the two talked Rachel and Santana were still close and Santana was rubbing her leg while quietly cursing at Quinn.
"Really Santana, you have to stop putting yourself in compromising positions where you get kicked." Santana scoffed.
"Not my fault everyone's abusive to me," Santana wrapped her arm around Rachel and brought her closer. "See, Q, you should be like Rachel and Brittany, they're nice, unlike someone I know." Quinn rolled her eyes and waved her off. Santana laughed and looked back at the menu in front of her, forgetting that she still had her arm wrapped around Rachel. She didn't notice until Rachel shifted under her arm, and she looked at her.
Rachel was trying to read Santana's menu, since getting to hers was too much work. If she was honest, being under Santana's arm felt nice. It felt like before, when they were little, but there was something more to the feeling. Rachel wanted to just lean back into Santana's arm and be close to the girl. Rachel looked up at Santana, and froze when she saw the other girl staring back at her. The two stared at each other, and Rachel searched Santana's face, wondering what Santana was feeling. As her eyes searched her face, they fell on Santana's lips and she unconsciously licked her own. Santana looked down at Rachel's lips and tightened her arm around Rachel, bringing the shorter girl closer to her.
Suddenly, the sound of someone clearing their throat brought them back to reality and they both looked across of them to see Quinn and Brittany staring at them. Rachel pushed herself away and leaned against the divider as she looked at her own menu. Santana brought her hands to her lap and looked down. Quinn raised an eyebrow at them and looked at the menu, while Brittany smiled and tried to contain her giggling.
The four of them sat in silence until they ordered their food, where Brittany looked at Santana, Quinn, and Rachel. Santana and Rachel sat as far from each other as they could get and Quinn stared at the two, unsure of what to do.
"Hey, S, come with me to the bathroom." Brittany said and Santana gave her a questioning look but nodded and they both got up and left. Rachel slid down a little in her seat and Quinn spoke up before things could get awkward.
"So…" Quinn started and Rachel looked up and smiled politely at Quinn. "How's life?" Quinn mentally scolded herself. How's life? And she thought Santana was bad at conversation…
"It's good?" Rachel said back in more of a question than a statement and Quinn nodded. The two fell back in uncomfortable silence and Quinn started drumming her fingers on the table in an attempt to make things less silent and uncomfortable. "Well," Rachel said loudly, which Quinn hadn't been expecting, making her jump and hit her knee under the table. "Oh, I'm sorry." Rachel said guiltily and she stopped talking. Quinn laughed lightly, trying to brighten the mood and cheer Rachel up.
"It's fine, you were saying?" Rachel looked unsure but Quinn gave her an encouraging smile.
"As I was saying, things have been good since moving here. People here are nice, mostly." She added the last part as a second thought, thinking of Karofsky and Azimio, who had given her most of her slushy facials when she was just the new kid.
"Weren't people nice in your last place," Quinn said as she tried to remember where Rachel moved from.
"New York."
"Yeah, there," Quinn said with a nod. "There's a ton of people, right? Aren't there nice people there?" Rachel gave Quinn a sad smile and looked down.
"Yes, but they're not to me." Quinn watched as Rachel kept looking down, looking vulnerable as she admitted to not having many friends in New York. Quinn looked down guiltily, realizing what Rachel was saying, and remembered almost ordering a jock to slushy Rachel if Santana didn't make up her mind about Rachel being her friend or not.
"I'm sorry," Rachel looked up and Quinn continued. "About New York, must have been hard." Rachel shrugged.
"I have friends now and it was the past, it doesn't matter now."
"The past does matter," Rachel smiled at the words. Even if Quinn didn't know it, the words gave her a little bit of confidence with getting Santana to remember their past together. Quinn watched the girl in front of her smile and knew if it wasn't for Santana, she would be making Rachel's life just as miserable as it was in New York. "Besides, they're loss because you seem all right to me." Rachel smiled brightly at Quinn, who smiled back. Maybe Santana was right, Rachel wasn't so bad.
Santana sighed as Brittany pulled her into the small bathroom meant for one person and locked the door. Santana leaned against the wall and crossed her arms as Brittany turned around and studied her.
"What?" Santana snapped but Brittany was unfazed and smiled at Santana.
"I saw you looking Rachy." Santana unconsciously shifted on her feet and shrugged.
"So?"
"So," Brittany said, walking to Santana and forcing her arms down to her side. "I saw that look. Like you're realizing something for the first time."
"Britt, I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're starting to like Rachel," Santana raised her eyebrows at Brittany using Rachel's full name for the first time. "Like, a lot."
"Well, she's my friend, so yeah." Brittany giggled, knowing Santana was starting to like Rachel more than a friend.
"Silly, I meant more than that, and you two get all awkward and weird when you get close. Plus, you stare." Santana gaped at her. She did not stare at Rachel. Santana closed her mouth and remembered the times she stared at Rachel that day and groaned in frustration. She did stare, but it wasn't like she meant to, she just always got distracted by how beautiful Rachel looked. Santana's eyes widened as she thought about it and shook her head. Rachel was just a friend, that's it.
"We're just friends." Santana said, but Brittany knew Santana was just trying to convince herself more than Brittany. Brittany had always been able to know what was going through Santana's head easily, and this was no exception. Santana walked to the door and unlocked it before going back to their table, with Brittany following right behind her. Santana saw Rachel and Quinn smiling and talking, and Santana smiled. She slid next to Rachel, much closer that time, and Rachel didn't move away like before.
"Hey," Santana said. "Looks like you two are getting to know each other pretty well." Rachel and Quinn smiled at each other and nodded.
"Quinn is actually really nice and caring." Rachel said and Santana smiled at her.
"I'm glad." Santana genuinely said.
"Yeah, Q's really great." Brittany said, hugging Quinn and rubbing her head against her like a cat, making Quinn blush.
"Brittany, that tickles…" Quinn said, trying not to laugh too hard.
"Anyway," Santana said loudly. "I wants to eat, now." Santana complained and they all laughed. About ten minutes later after the server had given them their food they were eating and talking. Rachel couldn't help but smile at the scene around her, and couldn't believe she was sitting in Breadstix, eating and talking with people willing to talk to her too, as a friend. She felt someone nudge her shoulder and she looked at Santana.
"You okay?"
"Perfect." Rachel said and Santana nodded before turning back to the conversation. Well, nearly perfect. Rachel looked at Santana, knowing what would make everything perfect. She quickly looked away and tried not to think about it.
They had dropped Rachel off at her house and after saying her goodbyes to them she walked in. The first thing she noticed was that the house was pitch dark. Rachel looked out the window to make sure Shelby was home, which, she figured she was when she saw Shelby's car parked outside.
Shrugging, she didn't think much of it and started walking through the house. She stopped when she noticed light coming from the bottom of Shelby's closed door. Rachel walked to it and pushed it open a little to peek inside and groaned at the sight.
"I thought you stopped that." Rachel said sadly as she looked at all the pictures and papers around Shelby. She slowly started to put them back in the box until there was only one left, still in Shelby's hand. Rachel didn't need to look to know which one it was, it was always the same one Shelby fell asleep with. Rachel grabbed the picture in her mother's hand and slowly started to pull it out, only pausing whenever Shelby stirred in her sleep. After a while, she finally gotten the picture out and looked at it.
Even though she knew what it was, she still felt like she needed to check if it was what she thought it was every time. Sure enough, it was a picture of her and Shelby in their new home, the first picture taken of them together. She put it and the box in its proper place and walked back to the bed. She kicked off her shoes and climbed in Shelby's bed. Getting under the covers, she looked at Shelby worriedly before closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep.