A/N: Here's the next chapter, and thank you for all the review you guys sent, it means a lot.
Santana was sitting on her bed, her head in her hands. She groaned as she thought of the dream she had, again, it was a part of her past with her. She had finally, finally, remembered the face that went with her friend. The big brown eyes that could always see right past her, and the long brown hair and the big smile she had. Santana could remember how she was so shy and fidgety, would barely smile at all, and by the time they had parted ways Santana could have her laughing at anything she said.
Santana groaned as she got off the bed and walked to the dresser. The last football game was yesterday, and Sue allowed them to wear their own clothes, finally. She used to have them wear it all year and Santana remembered how much she had hated it. Santana reached for the drawer, but paused, and her hand hovered in the air for a few seconds. Suddenly, she knelt down and opened the last drawer, where there was hardly anything at all.
Reaching in, she grabbed it and carefully pulled it out. Sighing, she ran her hand along the folded clothing, her old clothes from the orphanage. She hadn't looked at it since she put in there, and now the clothes had brought back more memories than she already had been remembering. Memories of her and the girl who's name started with an R.
"I broke it" Santana said quietly. "I broke my promise."
Rachel sat alone in the choir room, against the wall in the corner of the room. She had promised Santana she would tell her everything, which meant the orphanage, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She went through her backpack and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She quickly unfolded it and smiled.
It was the star Santana had drawn for her, and she giggled when she remembered how Santana got the boy that was picking on her in trouble. She turned the picture around and saw the S and R Santana had initialed in the back. She ran her finger along the letters, trying to find comfort in them.
"It will be fine, everything will be fine," Rachel said softly. "Santana will understand, she has to." The bell rang and Rachel looked at the picture one last time before putting it in the pocket of her jeans and getting up. She walked through the hall, barely too lost in her own world to notice everyone else, and walked to class.
She was one of the first people in class, and sat quietly, looking at the words students marked into the desk. Rachel felt someone sit next to her and looked up to see Santana sitting in Puck's seat. Santana reached over and grabbed one of Rachel's hands, which were resting on her lap, and looked at her worriedly.
"Are you okay?" Rachel forced a smile and nodded. Santana looked from her face down to her clothes and Rachel looked down, realizing she wasn't wearing the argyle sweaters, skirts, or knee high socks. Instead, she was wearing worn jeans, a black hoodie, and sneakers. She looked at Santana's clothes and smiled when she saw Santana wasn't wearing the Cheerios uniform anymore.
"Nice clothes." Rachel said and Santana looked down and laughed lightly.
"You too." Santana said back, smiling at her. Puck came over and watched the two, and Santana was the first to notice. Santana gave Rachel's hand a squeeze before getting up and walking to her own desk, where Brittany had just gotten to and was waiting patiently. Puck sat down and looked at Rachel, who was back to staring at her desk.
"What's wrong?" Puck asked quietly and he leaned closer to her as Mr. Schuester came in and started the lesson. Rachel reached out and took Puck lightly, making him jump in surprise.
"I'm going to tell her." Puck looked at Santana, who was busy writing something in her notebook, and let Rachel hold his hand. He knew she was going to need all the luck she could get. The rest of the class Rachel was quiet and once the bell rang, Santana was standing in front of Rachel.
"Hey," Santana said, unsure of where they stood after the kiss. "I'll walk you to class." Rachel nodded and stood up. Saying goodbye to Puck, she followed Santana out of the room and the two walked to Rachel's next class. They were silent as they walked and Santana walked closely to Rachel, with the back of her hand brushing against Rachel's. Santana wanted to hold Rachel's hand, she wanted to kiss Rachel again, but she wasn't sure if Rachel would let her. Last night she acted out of impulse, and didn't think about what she was doing, just that it felt so good. Santana suddenly stopped and grabbed Rachel's hand, pulling her towards her. Rachel gasped in surprise as she Santana yanked her towards her and Rachel fell into the taller girl's body.
"Santana?" Rachel said softly, looking up at her.
"You've been off today, and we need to talk, like you said yesterday." Rachel nodded and put her head on Santana's chest. Everything. That was what Rachel was afraid of. Santana frowned and wrapped her arms around Rachel.
"We'll talk after school." Rachel said and Santana nodded.
"Can I still walk you to your classes?" Rachel laughed and nodded, making Santana smile. They pulled apart and Santana grabbed Rachel's hand. When she reached Rachel's class she leaned in and kissed Rachel on the cheek. She leaned back and saw Rachel tracing her cheek with her finger and smiling shyly. Santana grinned at her before making her way to her own class.
Santana sat down in the back and didn't pay attention to anything the teacher was saying. Instead, she opened a notebook and began drawing on it. In the middle of the notebook, she wrote Sand R and drew a large star around it.
"R…" She muttered, frowning as she thought of what her name could be. She didn't know anyone whose name started with an R, well, that was a lie. There was one person. Which was Rachel. Her hand froze as she thought about it. Rachel also had the same brown hair and eyes. Her eyes widened at the coincidence, before scoffing and pushing the thought away. Brunette's were common, especially in Ohio, and a lot names started with an R. That's right, Santana thought as she went back to her drawing, it's just a coincidence.
As soon as the bell rang, she walked to Rachel's class just as the shorter girl walked out. Santana quickly walked up to Rachel and grabbed her hand, and Rachel smiled up at her, basking in the warmness of Santana's hand wrapped around hers. Santana ended up walking Rachel to every class, even if that meant being late to her own, and finally the only place left to go to was Glee Club and together they walked in hand in hand.
They sat in the back together and watched as everyone else started piling in. Soon enough, Mr. Schuester arrived and started talking about song selections, but the two girls weren't paying attention. All Rachel could think about was how to tell Santana about their past, about her, and Santana's reaction. Santana, on the other hand, was trying to figure out who the girl from her dream was, and all the other memories that came with her.
Before they knew it, Glee ended and everyone started getting up and leaving, except Rachel and Santana, who were still sitting in their chairs. Puck, Quinn, and Brittany shared a look as they stayed in the room and looked at the two girls worriedly.
"Bro?" Puck said and Rachel and Santana jumped. They both looked up, having been too lost in their thoughts to notice everyone leaving.
"Oh, right," Rachel got up and Santana quickly followed suit. The two looked at each other before Rachel turned back to Puck. "Well, um, me and Santana have to go now." They quickly walked out, leaving the other three behind. Quinn and Brittany looked at each other with confused looks while Puck looked at the doorway Rachel and Santana walked out of knowingly. He looked back to Quinn and Brittany and smiled at them.
"Well, later." He waved at them and Quinn sighed as she waved back. After Puck left Quinn grabbed Brittany's hand, making the taller girl giggle happily, and led them out of the room.
Rachel and Santana were at Rachel's locker, with Rachel leaning against her locker and Santana doing the same next to her. Rachel sighed; it was time to start talking. Santana looked over and grabbed her hand.
"Hey, you okay?" Rachel laughed lightly.
"That's the third time I've been asked that." Santana laughed lightly and the two were silent again. Santana thought back to the party, before she kissed Rachel.
"You said you wanted, well, needed to tell me something I, ya know, kissed you…" Santana trailed off, not sure if she should have mentioned it. Rachel nodded.
"I need to tell you something," Rachel started off again and Santana nodded, not interrupting Rachel this time. "I-it's about those dreams you said you had."
"My dreams?" Santana asked, confused. "What do they have to do with anything?" Rachel bit her lip, trying to pick out the right words.
"You dream about someone, right?" Santana slowly nodded, still confused. Had she mentioned her dreams to Rachel?
"Yeah, from the-" Santana stopped herself from saying orphanage, and Rachel sighed, knowing exactly what she was going to say. "From where I used to live, for a bit." Rachel looked at the time, knowing it was going to be a long talk, and turned to her locker to open it and put her books away. She preferred having this conversation anywhere but school, where anyone could walk in or eavesdrop.
"From the orphanage." Rachel said softly and Santana froze. She never told anyone that her biological parents died and she was sent to the orphanage, where she met her, the girl's who's name started with an R. Santana reached out and grabbed Rachel's wrist as she twisted the lock on her locker. Rachel instinctively jumped and flinched away at the sudden movement.
"How did you know that?" Santana snapped, harsher than she intended, making Rachel try and pull away. Santana realized her tone and looked down at her hand that was gripping Rachel's wrist tightly. She let go, guiltily, and Rachel brought her wrist close to her chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
"It's okay." Rachel said quickly, rubbing her wrist. Santana sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"How do you know about the orphanage?" She asked again.
"You had a friend there, right?" Santana's eyes widened and Rachel continued. "Do…do you remember what she looked like? Or a name?"
"How…she…she had brown hair and brown eyes, and…" Santana looked down, thinking of her. "She was tiny, I always protected her though," Santana smiled at the memories. "She likes gold, and stars, and…and her name starts with an R…" Rachel's eyes widened as she listened to Santana. Santana knew everything, well, nearly everything.
"Yeah…" Was all Rachel could say and she brought her hand out to support herself on the lockers.
"You're name starts with R," Rachel looked at Santana, who was looking straight at her. Rachel gulped, her throat suddenly dry, watching Santana's eyes search hers. Santana started shaking her head. "No," Santana said. "No, fucking hell, no. I've thought about it but no, you're not her, no!" Santana slammed her fist on the lockers, a scowl on her face.
"Santana, yes! How else would I know about the orphanage. It's me! I'm-" Santana slammed the locker again and stepped close to Rachel, making the shorter girl cower in fear.
"No, you're not." She said coldly. "Someone told you and now you're fucking with me. Damn it Rachel, how could you do that?" Rachel shook her head.
"No one told me, I'm telling you the truth. I'm your friend from the orphanage, you drew me a star and protected me and was my only friend." Santana backed up and glared at her. "How do you know about that?" Santana backed up again and almost slipped. She looked down to see a folded piece of paper and when she bent down to pick it up Rachel checked her pockets. Rachel's eyes widened when she realized the drawing of the star had fallen from her pockets.
"Santana, that's-" But it was too late. Santana unfolded it and saw the golden star she had drawn years ago. Santana looked at it and began shaking her head in disbelief.
"No," She slowly started to flip it over with shaky hands. Sure enough, there she saw the Sand R she had wrote in the back. Her face went from disbelief to fury in a matter of seconds, and she walked up to Rachel and pushed her against the lockers.
"How did you get this?"
"Santana, it's me." Santana scowled and shook her head. Santana didn't want to believe it, she had ignored all the coincidences. Looking at the picture and Rachel now, though, the coincidences were too ignore. Santana looked at the drawing again and then back up to Rachel. With one last glare she turned around and started walking away. "Santana!" Rachel ran forward and grabbed her arm. Santana stopped and yanked her arm out of Rachel's grip.
"Don't touch me," Santana said coldly and Rachel winced at the words.
"Please, let's talk about this and-"
"No," Santana interrupted and she turned to Rachel, angrier than Rachel had ever seen her. "We're not going to talk about this. You knew all along and you lied," Rachel shook her head and opened her mouth to say she hadn't been lying, but Santana cut her off again. "We're not going to talk. Ever" Santana spun around and stormed down the hall and out of the school, leaving Rachel speechless in the hall. She walked to the lockers and slid down to the floor. She had finally told Santana, and her worst nightmare came true.
She lost Santana, again.