A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, I was worried I had done the way Santana found out wrong. Well here's the next chapter, and since this fic is coming to a close, I was thinking of posting one-shots of Rachel and Santana in the orphanage, all based on this fic. However, that's an if, it depends if people are interested enough for me to post them.
Rachel felt numb. She was still in the school leaning against the lockers on the floor looking like a mess. She didn't care though, she was a mess. A crying, broken mess. Rachel wasn't sure how long she had been sitting on the floor crying, but when she finally got up and walked outside, her car was one of the few left.
She dragged her feet to the car and slumped in the front seat. What was she going to do now? She had lost Santana, again, only this time she was sure Santana was never going to talk to her again. Sighing, she turned on the car and started driving to the only person she trusted enough with this ordeal.
Santana was furious. Rachel, Santana groaned. It was still hard of her to think of Rachel as that Rachel. Santana was mostly angry at herself though, how could she have been so stupid? She kept having the dreams and yet she couldn't figure out that the girl from so lon ago had been in front of her the entire time.
She had finally gotten home and she pulled up in the driveway, but she didn't get out of the car. She sat in the car in silence for a few moments before slamming her fists onto the steering wheel in frustration. She grabbed her phone and dialed the number of the first person she thought of. She needed to tell someone of this disaster of a situation, because she honestly didn't know what to do. Plus, she had a habit of not thinking straight when she was angry. After a few rings, the person picked up and Santana was the first to say something.
"Meet me at Breadstix, and bring Britt too." Santana snapped.
"Santana, are you okay? You sound a little-" Santana hung up before Quinn could finish her sentence. She quickly pulled the car out of the driveway and drove to Breadstix, knowing it won't be long until Quinn and Brittany arrived there too.
Puck was sitting on his couch, with Rachel laying down with her head on his lap. Earlier, Puck had opened his door earlier when the doorbell rang to see Rachel on the other side, and as soon as her eyes met his, which were still red and puffy from crying earlier, she broke down again. Puck quickly wrapped his arm around her and brought them to the couch.
Puck looked down and frowned. Rachel was dead silent, and she was staring at the TV he was watching earlier, but it was clear she wasn't paying attention to it. Her eyes seemed glazed over and Puck ran his hand through her hair.
"Rachel?" He said softly and Rachel didn't move or say anything. Puck began worrying and tried again. "Rachel, what's wrong?" Rachel finally looked up at him with dead eyes that just killed him on the inside.
"She…I told Santana," Rachel said softly and Puck lifted her up from his lap and hugged her close to his body. "She never wants to talk to me again." Puck didn't know what to say, so he just hugged Rachel. Rachel didn't hug back through, with her arms hanging limply and her head in the crook of his neck.
Quinn and Brittany walked into Breadstix and looked over the tables to find Santana. When they finally did, they rushed over and stopped just in front of the table. When Santana didn't look up from staring at the table, they looked at each other worriedly and slid in the other side. Brittany reached out and put her hand on Santana's shoulder, making Santana jump.
Santana looked up at them and sighed. She put her head in her hands and groaned. How was she going to tell them? They knew nothing, not even Brittany knew about the orphanage.
"S, what's wrong?" Quinn asked and Santana removed her hands from her face.
"I fucked up, that's what." Santana grumbled, looking up at them.
"Is this about Rachy?" Santana nodded and Quinn raised an eyebrow.
"What did you do?" Santana scoffed.
"Ya know, it's not all my fault, if the hobbit said something in the beginning I wouldn't have been going through all that shit trying to figure her out in my dreams and she fucking tells me after the kiss and-"
"Woah, there," Quinn said, efficiently stopping Santana in her rant. "Kiss? Dreams? And since when do you call Rachel hobbit?" Santana sighed as Quinn tried to wrap her head around everything.
"Why don't you start from the beginning?" Brittany offered and Quinn nodded. Santana sighed, she had no choice, it was the only way for them to understand if she wanted to tell them everything.
"The beginning," Santana scoffed and shook her head. "That was years ago, when I was eight." Brittany and Quinn silently encouraged her to continue. Santana took a deep breath and started from the beginning, the day her biological parents died and was sent to the orphanage.
Puck and Rachel hadn't moved. Puck was still hugging Rachel, and she was still limp in his arms. Puck wondered if Rachel fell asleep and he was going to move to lay her down on the couch. Rachel finally moved her arms and pushed herself away from Puck.
"Thank you, Noah," Puck smiled sadly and nodded.
"Anytime," Puck said and the smile came off his face and he looked at her seriously. "Seriously, you need me and I'm here. I got your back all the time."
"And I got yours." Rachel said softly. Puck smiled and patted Rachel's head.
"I know you do. But we need to talk," Rachel's face fell and Puck pulled her close to him again. Rachel sighed and put her head on Puck's shoulder as she sat on his lap. "I'm guessing Santana didn't take it well." Rachel nodded and took a shaky breath.
"She screamed at me, she won't talk to me again," Puck mentally cursed at Santana and rubbed his hand up and down Rachel's back. "Everything we ever had, it's gone. I've lost her and it's my fault."
"No," Puck said quickly. "It's not your fault." Rachel started crying again and she shook her head.
"We kissed," Puck froze and furrowed his eyebrows together. "At the party, we kissed when I tried to tell her and… and I told her today and everything's messed up and there's nothing I can do about it." Puck simply held her as she cried into his shoulder. After Rachel's crying died down Puck kept his arms wrapped around her and they stayed like that in silence. Finally, after a few minutes, Rachel spoke up again.
"Can you let me go? I need to use the bathroom…" Rachel blushed a little at the words.
"Oh, sorry," Puck let her go and Rachel slid off him. She smiled at Puck as she made her way to the bathroom. On the way back, she passed by his room again, and this time stopped in the doorway. She looked at his room for a few seconds and walked in and sat on his bed.
She was glad she had Puck, and she was pretty sure Puck was glad to have her too. From the first day they met in the halls of McKinley, he watched out for her and they quickly became best friends. Rachel thought back to when she was crying in his lap not that long ago, and she smiled. Despite his reputation at school, Rachel knew Puck was actually a good person who would drop everything in a heartbeat to help a friend in need.
As she looked around the room, seeing everything that was Puck, she noticed his mini fridge. She quickly stood up and walked over to it. She knelt down and opened the door, biting her lip as she looked inside. Slowly, she reached out and grabbed one of Puck's beer cans from his stash and looked at it. She hadn't really drunk before, she never found a need to, but now, maybe drinking away her problems would help. She heard and seen people do it before, and maybe it would help her. She opened it, and quickly drank the can. The drink burned in her throat but she quickly grabbed another. She had nothing to lose; after all, she already lost Santana.
Santana had finished through what she considered the story of the better part of her life. From her biological parent's death to when she really met Rachel all the way to the kiss and Rachel telling her the truth. Everything, in excruciating detail and probably took an hour or two, Santana wasn't really paying attention to the time.
"You're…you're adopted?" Quinn asked disbelievingly and Santana scoffed and crossed her arms.
"Really Q? Out of all of the shit I told you that's what stuck in your head?" Quinn shook her head.
"No, sorry it's just…" Quinn rubbed her head and sighed. "It's a lot to take in." Santana sighed and her face softened.
"I know, sorry for bitching at you. All of this is just…"
"Complicated?" Quinn offered and Santana laughed.
"That's one way to put it." Santana looked at Brittany, who had been quiet. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and she had a concentrated look on her face. "Britt?" Brittany looked up and leaned over the table.
"S, it's her, Rachy's her. That's great!" Santana sighed and rubbed the back of her head.
"Yeah, I know it's her, now." Brittany frowned and leaned back.
"Then what's the problem?" Brittany asked, confused.
"I told her to never talk to me again." Santana admitted and she looked down, too ashamed to look at the other two.
"Why?" Brittany asked.
"Look, I was pissed, okay?" Santana explained. "She kept this from me, how could she do that?"
"Maybe because she was afraid." Quinn said and Santana rolled her eyes.
"Yeah right, why would she be afraid." Santana crossed her arms defiantly and glared at Quinn. Quinn rolled her eyes and gave Santana a stern look.
"Maybe she was afraid you would react like you just did," Quinn snapped and Santana went from glaring to looking ashamed. "You both lost each other a long time ago and Rachel recognized you and saw what your stubborn head didn't. I bet she was afraid of losing you again." Santana looked down with a loss of words.
"Don't you care about her?" Brittany asked and Santana's head snapped up.
"Of course I do!" Brittany flinched a little at the sudden loud outburst, making Quinn glare at Santana. Santana sighed and leaned back in the booth again. "Sorry, it's just-" Santana sighed again. "I do care. Rachel was my first friend at the shit-hole of an orphanage," Santana laughed lightly. "God, when I first met her," Santana shook her head. Ever since Rachel told her the truth, the memories came back faster than before. It was like the only that was blocking the memories was gone and now they were all flooding into her head. "She looked terrified, it was her first day and all, and we just sat there cuz she wouldn't talk." Santana had a smile on her face and Quinn and Brittany smiled as they listened to the memory. "All we had was each other, just us, and then…she left and I got adopted pretty quick."
"Why didn't you remember all this time?" Brittany asked softly.
"I guess I blocked it out, cuz it hurt so much that she was gone, she was my best and only friend," Santana frowned at the words. Was wasn't the right word anymore. "She is my best friend and I…I love her," Suddenly Santana covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe I said those things, now I lost her. I fucking hate myself."
Quinn and Brittany looked at each other before rushing to Santana. Brittany easily crawled under the table while Quinn got up and walked to Santana's side. With Santana in the middle, they both held her as she cried, and Santana never cried in public. She never dared to let anyone outside her close friend and family she her vulnerable, but now she didn't give a crap who saw her cry.
Puck started getting worried when Rachel hadn't come back. For a while he thought she had locked herself in the bathroom, so he got up to check on her. What he didn't expect on the way to the bathroom was seeing Rachel in his room.
He stopped and looked at her confused. From the hallway he saw her laying on his bed, with her back facing the doorway. Puck slowly walked in and she didn't turn around. He sat down on the bed and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Rachel?" Rachel suddenly sat up and looked at Puck groggily before grinning and throwing herself onto him.
"Noah!" She wrapped her arms around him and Puck saw a beer can in one of her hands. He frowned and quickly grabbed it, making Rachel angry. "Gimme, it's mine." Rachel slurred as she reached forward and slipped. She nearly fell off, if it wasn't for Puck quickly wrapping his arm around her waist.
"What the hell? What's with the drinking?" Puck asked angrily. Rachel flinched at his tone and curled herself against him.
"I'm sorry," Puck sighed and put the can down. "I don't wanna be sad anymore." Puck wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his chest. Suddenly, she frowned and punched his chest.
"Ow, what the hell?" Puck may have been strong, but Rachel hit hard, and it really did hurt.
"Tana's softer," Rachel said and began pouting. "I want San," Rachel placed her head against Puck's chest. "Miss her." Puck raised an eyebrow at Rachel's new nicknames for Santana, but sighed and grabbed his phone, knowing what to do.
Santana had stopped crying, but Quinn and Brittany were still hugging her when Santana's phone went off. She gave both of them a smile and they moved back a little to let her get her phone. She looked at the caller ID and saw Puck's name and rolled her eyes. Puck was one of the last people she wanted to talk to, so she just ignored the call. When he called again she ignored it as well, but when he called a third time she picked it up.
"I'm a little busy here." Santana snapped.
"Yeah, like hell you are," Puck snapped back. "Come here and fix the mess you made." Santana heard another voice talking to Puck, Rachel's, and she began worrying.
"Is that Rachel?"
"Yeah, you need to take her home, cuz she's drunk." Santana furrowed her eyebrows together. Drunk? She had never seen her drunk, and she didn't think she was the type to drink anyway, especially when she didn't drink at the party.
"Why don't you?" Santana asked, she wasn't sure she was ready to see Rachel again, drunk or not.
"She wants you, Santana." His tone wasn't angry anymore; instead it was soft with a hint of desperation in it. Santana sighed.
"I'm coming," She herd Puck's sigh of relief as she ended the call. Putting her phone away, she turned to Quinn and Brittany. "I need to go see Rachel and-"
"It's fine, go." Quinn said, getting up so Santana could get up as well. Santana nodded and stood up. Just as she walked past Quinn, she felt her wrist be grabbed. Looking down, she saw Quinn's hand wrapped around her wrist, and she looked up at Quinn.
"Q?"
"No matter how bad you've fucked up, you can still fix things between to you two, you know." Santana looked down as Quinn spoke.
"I don't know, I fucked up big time…"
"S, look at me," Santana sighed and looked up at Quinn. "You two got past the fact that you hadn't seen each other in years. I'm pretty sure you'll get past this too." Santana smiled at Quinn. Quinn gave Santana a hug before letting her go and watched Santana walk out of Breadstix as fast as she could.
"You could be, like, a professional speaker." Quinn turned to Brittany and smiled as she sat down next to her.
"Thanks," Quinn sighed as she thought back to Santana telling them her life story. "I can't believe there was so much we didn't know about Santana." Brittany nodded.
"But now we do, and we can help her and Rachy out more." Quinn nodded.
"If I was in her place, I'd probably never be adopted." Quinn said softly thinking about her past. Before high school, before she went by Quinn, and went by Lucy and when she was tormented by the name Lucy Caboosey and was overweight and too ugly for even her father to love completely. Brittany watched her as she saw a wave of emotion flow through Quinn's face as the shorter blond was lost in her own thoughts. Brittany smiled softly and put her hand on Quinn's, making Quinn look up at her.
"I think you would have," Brittany said cheerfully. "If I saw a little Quinn I'd definitely adopt her." Quinn laughed and shook her head.
"Thanks, B." Brittany nodded and snuggled into Quinn. Quinn looked at her with a raised eyebrow but didn't say anything. She looked away and smiled at the nice feeling of Brittany's body against hers.
Santana barely remembered to shift her car into park when she drove up to Puck's house and she nearly fell on her face in her rush to get to the front door. She rang the doorbell impatiently, jabbing it constantly until she heard a swearing Puck nearing it from the other side. The door swung open and before Puck could say anything, Santana walked inside and faced him.
"Where's Rachel?" Puck sighed and led her to the living room, where Rachel was slumped on the couch, singing drunkenly. Santana sighed and walked to Rachel and knelt down in front of her. "Rachel?" Rachel stopped singing and looked at Santana. She didn't say or do anything and Santana was afraid she would never speak to her again. Suddenly, Rachel lunged forward and hugged Santana tightly.
"Saaan," Rachel sighed and dug her face in the crook of Santana's neck. "Smell good." Rachel giggled, breathing in Santana's scent.
"And you smell like beer, c'mon," Santana stood up and dragged Rachel to her feet. She tried pulling Rachel's arms away and Rachel only clung on tighter.
"No!" She shook her head furiously and pulled away slightly to stomp her foot in frustration, and lost her balance as she did so. "Oops." Rachel slurred out as Santana held her up by the waist. Santana sighed as Rachel swayed in her arms. She put an arm under Rachel's knees and lifted the girl up in her arms. Santana walked to Puck and nodded at him.
"I'm going to take her home," Puck nodded and opened the door for her. He wanted to yell at her, he was definitely still angry enough, but first he had to make sure Rachel got home safely. As Santana walked passed Puck, she turned to him. I can get her to the car myself." Puck nodded and Santana walked to her car. Rachel shifted in her arms as she giggled and looked up lovingly at Santana.
"You were always so strong." Santana stopped walking and looked down at Rachel.
"You were always so tiny." Rachel giggled again and snuggled against Santana's chest. Santana sighed and walked to the car; she opened it and gingerly placed Rachel inside. After buckling her in and closing the door, she went to the driver's side and started the car. As Santana drove, she forced herself to concentrate on the road. Rachel was leaning over as best she could with the seatbelt, clinging onto Santana and trying to get her attention.
On the way to Rachel's house, the short brunette had fallen asleep and Santana looked over at her. She was slumped against the seatbelt, still leaning toward Santana. Santana gently pushed her back against the seat and Rachel's sleeping form shifted so that she was leaning against the door. Santana smiled and looked back at the road, taking Rachel's hand with one of her own.
They finally reached Rachel's house and Santana quickly got out of the car. She unbuckled Rachel from the seat and picked her up in her arms. As she walked to the door she took a deep breath, not knowing how to face Rachel's mother.
She slowly rang the doorbell and waited for what felt like forever. Finally, the door opened and Shelby looked down at Santana's arms and saw Rachel. Panic went through her face and she grabbed Rachel from Santana.
"What happened?" Shelby asked as she looked at Rachel worriedly.
"S-she's fine," Shelby looked at Santana and she shrank under the older woman's harsh stare. "She got drunk and passed out." Shelby frowned and looked at Rachel.
"Rachel never drinks." Santana sighed and nodded.
"Yeah, me and Rachel got into a fight," Shelby looked at Santana and narrowed her eyes at her. Santana looked down shamefully. "I'm sorry, I…" She sighed. "I should go." Santana turned around and walked to her car. She didn't need to look to see if Shelby was watching her as she walked to her car and drove off.
When she finally reached her house, she ran up to her room and slammed the door closed. She collapsed on the bed and thought back to Rachel's house, when Shelby opened the door. She groaned when she realized that wasn't the first time she saw her. Santana remembered Shelby at the orphanage that day when she took Rachel away.
Shelby had seen her too, but Santana doubted Shelby recognized her now. Santana was back in Rachel's life, had gone to her home and saw Shelby once again. Santana thought about going to Rachel's house to check on her, but Santana was sure Shelby hated her for making Rachel pass out drunk and would never let them see each other again.
Santana mentally kicked herself, she and Rachel were great. That was, until Santana overreacted and everything went to shit, and now Santana was afraid she messed things up for life, and it was irreparable. And it was all her fault.