Part 4

This nose does not look good when I have a black eye. For some reason, the purple bruise just emphasizes the size. I was just grateful that Finn managed to miss my nose this time when he elbowed me in the face. It was nothing serious, just a nasty bruise.

I sigh as I look in the mirror. What was the point in trying to conceal it when the make-up would wash off anyway? It was Friday at last, school was out for the weekend, and I had a pool party to go to. I would surely end up getting wet and everyone has already seen the damage done to my face, so I drop the concealer back into my make-up bag.

I pull on my shorts and a vest, give up on my sour mood, and smile to myself. My 'period' is late and I'm wearing my little black bikini underneath my clothes. No dick, no unsightly bulge, just all woman. I giggle to myself, giddy by the fact that I have nothing to hide from Quinn, or anyone else.

I still hadn't heard from my aunt Lilith, and even though I was still worried about her, I'm thinking that maybe she did a little magic from afar. She would obviously sense the desperation in the thirty-eight emails I sent her since Tuesday alone. Maybe I wouldn't get my penis ever again.

That thought fills me with a sudden grief, and I really don't know why I would mourn my extra appendage. I was different to every other girl. Sometimes, that was okay, but not always. Without my monthly penis, I would be ordinary. No more hiding. I take a shaky breath and swallow. I would be normal.

"Rachel, honey? Kurt's here."

I hear my dad from just outside of the bathroom door. I'm still staring at my reflection and I wonder why I hadn't heard Kurt pull up outside. "I'm coming, dad." I give myself one last look over, grab a scrunchy and pull open the door.

Kurt's smiling up at me from the bottom of the staircase and I can see his approval of my outfit by the twinkle in his eyes. It's not so hard getting short-shorts and a plain khaki coloured vest to look right, even I have no trouble there.

"You ready?" He smiles excitedly and I know that it's because Blaine will also be at the pool party.

I grin back at him and reach for my beach bag. I was fully prepared and raring to go.

"You guys have fun." My dad joins us at the door. "And, don't forget, sweetie, your father and I are going out tonight, so don't wait up."

"I won't." I give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Have fun."

"You too."

"We will." Kurt grabs my arm and starts to drag me out of the front door. "If we ever get there." His blue eyes turn to me again. "I have a gorgeous; half naked boyfriend, waiting for me, Rachel. Mercedes is already there and she's sent me a picture. We need to go."

I laugh loudly and throw my dad a wave as Kurt yells. "Bye, Mr Berry."

….

I think we're the last to arrive at Quinn's home. She was the only Gleek who had a real swimming pool instead of an oversized paddling pool, and Mrs Fabray was supposed to be away for the entire weekend visiting Quinn's sister, so with some cajoling, Noah had convinced the younger Fabray to let him throw his birthday bash at hers.

Her hazel eyes are on me as soon as we walk through the back gate. They narrow in on my short-shorts.

I can't help the smug smile that stretches across my lips. She's looking for something that isn't there.

"Hey." Noah is already in the party mood, I can smell it on his breath as he wraps me in a hug and lifts me off my feet.

"Happy birthday, Noah." I giggle, giving him a peck on the lips. "I didn't know what to get you, so I got you a gift card for the mall. I hope you're not disappointed."

"How could I be?" He's grinning happily. "The sun is in the sky, I have all of my favourite people around me, alcohol chilling in kitchen, and now I can get the box set of Prison Break without having to steal it."

I return his infectious grin and kiss him again.

"I'm disappointed, Berry." Santana hands Noah a bottle of beer as she nears us. She's shaking her head at me, but I can tell that she's not completely serious. Santana looks too happy to be serious and I'm thinking that she's matching Noah drink for drink. Dark eyes drop to my feet before rising slowly, taking in my attire, before she waves a hand up and down her own, voluptuous bikini clad body. "I thought I told you, swim suit only."

I give her a saucy wink and watch as her eyebrows shoot up. I take the bag off my shoulder and drop it to the floor before tugging my vest up and over my head. I glance over at Quinn then, making sure that her eyes were still on me as I fingered the button on my shorts. I make short work of the fastening and slide the shorts down my legs. I duck down to pick them up, stuffing them in my bag before I stand in front of Santana in a black bikini that almost puts hers to shame. "Does this meet your requirements?"

"Hell yes." Noah's eyes are predictably focused on my breasts. Even when we were dating he never got to see this much of me.

"Nice, Berry." Santana is grinning at me again. She seems more preoccupied by the flare of my hips and my stomach rather than my chest. "Q!" She yells behind her. "Your girl's here."

We both watch her scowl before she lifts her dark shades back over her eyes. Santana laughs and I find myself enjoying the fact that she's enjoying herself. Something has changed with her lately, she seems almost lighter since she and Dave started up the Bully-Whips, and she certainly isn't as scathing as she used to be, though no less honest. I recognise the sadness in her eyes when she looks at Brittany, but there's something else, a sense of freedom perhaps, and a sense of knowing oneself at last. We all know that something went on there, and that Santana didn't get the outcome she wanted, but their friendship was slowly starting to mend even if Santana always turned away when Brittany and Artie got too close for comfort.

I smile at the pretty Latina and glance down at the cold bottle in her hand. "Can I get one of those?"

"Sure, Berry." She's grinning. "They're all in the kitchen, help yourself." She points her drink towards the back of the house. "Wine coolers are in the bottom, beer at the top. "

I give her my thanks, but just as I'm about to leave, Noah stops me. "Get me another too?" He tips his head back and necks the last of his beer.

My eyes widen. "C'mon," Santana smirks at me. "I'll show you were to get them from."

I lower my voice as we walk towards the house. "How long has he been drinking like that?"

Santana chuckles. "He's on the beer that Mrs Fabray left for Quinn. It's virtually alcohol free and he hasn't noticed yet."

I look over at her as she pulls open the door for me and she shrugs.

"It's the boy's birthday, but if he drank real beer like that, he would be good for nothing before the fun even started." She's smirking again.

"I was thinking more on the fact that Quinn's mom left her alcohol to consume." I shake my head in wonder. My dads allow me a small glass of wine on special occasions; they definitely did not leave me a six-pack in the refrigerator.

Santana guides me over to the huge fridge freezer, opens the door and hands me a blue drink from the bottom and a bottle of beer from one of the salad draws. She shrugs her shoulders then. "I think she's trying to be a cool mom, but not too cool. If you know what I mean?" I must look confused because she elaborates. "Q's mom realises that teenagers drink, what she doesn't realise is that after the whole 'getting drunk and knocked up' fiasco and then getting caught drinking at school, Quinn really doesn't drink much at all. She'll use a glass so that no one notices how often she refills it. Mrs F keeps this weak shit in the fridge just in case Q feels the need to drink." I do my best imitation of an arched eyebrow but fail miserably as both rise. Santana shakes her head as though she's on the same page as I am. "Messed up reasoning, I know, especially considering that there's no lock on the sweet-assed liquor cabinet Mr F kept stocked in his den."

I take a quick sip of my blue drink. It was okay, so I take a deeper swig.

"Careful there, Berry." Santana grins at me. "We don't want to have to carry you home, or worse still, leave your drunken ass here to be molested by the non-virgin Mary out there."

I splutter, spraying my drink over a nearby work surface.

"Santana!"

I spin around to see Quinn glaring at us from the doorway. As Santana laughs and grabs Noah's beer from my hand, I get the distinct impression that she knew Quinn was standing by the door as she made her comment.

I blink rapidly, feeling the burn of carbon-dioxide in my nose making my eyes water. I cough into my hand, trying to dispel the mental image of the blonde touching me up whilst I lay prone. Damn, that might be a little something to add to my spank-bank.

"I would never." Quinn bit out in anger.

I take another long pull from my drink. For a long time now I've taken inappropriate pleasure in Quinn's ire. The girl is beautiful, but when she's angry, she's simply stunning.

Santana is still laughing as she saunters past Quinn. "Don't get your panties in a bunch Fabray. Looking like that," She throws a quick glance at me over her shoulder and licks her top lip slowly. "Even I would."

Damn it. I splutter against the mouthful of sharp liquid, only just managing to catch the spray in my hand this time.

Quinn rolls her eyes at me and throws me a damp dishrag. "Don't flatter yourself, Rachel."

I swallow hard and go about wiping over the surface I'd sprayed with speckles of blue before rinsing the rag and my hands in the sink. "Santana was just teasing you, Quinn."

She hums and I turn around to see her staring at me again.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I'm getting more than a little tired of her searching gaze.

She looks around, probably making sure that no one can see her talking to me. I sigh. "I just wanted to apologize for thinking you had a ...thing."

If i wasn't so shocked by the apology, I might've laughed.

"I don't really understand why i thought i saw what i did." Her fine brows knit together as her eyes drop to my crotch again, clearly not seeing a bulge. She huffs. "Might be some delayed reaction to the crap Coach made us drink. Anyway, I'm sorry for wrongly accusing you, and for dragging you into the janitors closet back at school."

I find that I'm feeling slightly guilty now. "You apology is accepted, Quinn. Thank you." What more could I say, other than telling the truth?

She nods at me and then turns to leave. "Okay." She mutters. "I need to go find Brittany."

I watch her leave me alone in the kitchen and I take another long gulp of my drink. I'm half tempted to grab another from the fridge before going outside but I decide against it. Being drunk and around Quinn is a bad idea, I don't know what I'd be tempted to do or say, so instead, I decide to make the quarter left in my bottle last at least another half an hour or so.

I make my way back outside and start my circuit. I spend a little time laughing and talking with almost everyone there. I'm avoiding Quinn and Finn as best as I can, though Finn does not make it easy on me. Every time I turn around, he's either standing right there or watching me from over by the barbeque.

Finn's a good guy most of the time; I just wish that he would find someone to fixate on that wasn't me. I know – pot calling kettle black. He's 'dated' (I find myself reluctant to call it that) a couple of Cheerios since our split, but he needs to find himself a nice girl. I wonder momentarily if Angelique from ballet class is dating anyone at the moment, but then the French Canadian accent might prove confusing to Finn. Oh well, back to avoiding. I make my way over to Kurt and Blaine again.

"Hey, Rache, we need your opinion on something."

I smile widely at Kurt before turning to Blaine. "Even though I've personally met Miss Patti LuPone, Barbra is still the greatest star to ever walk this planet. She's an EGOT winner and my idol." I didn't even need to wait for his question.

Blaine cracks up then, hunching over as he laughs. "You know her so well." He shakes his finger at Kurt. "I thought meeting Patti would've swung it for me."

"Hun," Kurt grins at his drunken boyfriend. "Everyone in Glee knows that Rachel will always pick Barbra over Patti."

I giggle with them until I'm suddenly hoisted into the air and thrown into cold water, shrieking my outrage. I don't care if it is his birthday; Noah Puckerman is dead to me.

"Dude!" I hear yelling from behind me so I spin around and wade closer to the edge of the pool.

"What?" Puck's grinning at Finn, his hands held out to the side. "She's hot. I thought the water would help."

"Not cool, dude." Finn's glaring daggers at his friend. He bounds across the lawn and holds out his giant hand to me while he's bickering. "What if she couldn't swim? She could be drowning right now, and you're standing there with a big stupid smirk on your face."

I sigh as I swim away from his hand. I know he was only trying to help me, but he goes too far sometimes. I hoist myself out of the pool and run my hands back through my hair, taking streams of excess water with them. "Noah and I took lessons together when we were five, Finn." Noah could be an idiot, but he wouldn't put me in harm's way. "Thank you for your help, though unnecessary." I walk over to Noah then and punch him in the arm. "Be thankful that it's your birthday, Noah Puckerman." I try to be serious with him but it's difficult when he's smirking at me like he is. "Next time, I'll aim lower."

"What?" He's back to grinning again. "You're looking hot, Rache. I thought the water would cool you down."

"Yeah, he's right. You're looking hot, mamma." Mercedes arches a dark brow at me and I feel like stamping my feet. Why can everyone else do that and not me?

I graciously take the towel Tina hands me before turning back to Mercedes. "Why thank you. I have been spending an extra twenty minutes three times a week doing Zumba." I smile widely at her.

Dark brows furrow at me then and Mercedes steps closer to me, placing a hand on my forehead. "You are looking fine, Rachel, but that's not what I meant. You're looking flush or sunburnt; perhaps you should sit in the shade for a while."

I bat her hand away and touch my palm to my face. I was feeling unusually warm. "Maybe you're right." My stomach starts to churn then and I decide not to drink another drop of alcohol. I seriously don't think it agrees with me. "I'll just fetch a glass of water and then I'll go and sit over by …" I look over towards Quinn and Brittany. "Brittany, in the shade."

She's nodding at me and I walk away, clutching the towel around my shoulders. I'm starting to feel a little funny and think that I should've worn a hat today.

It's a little cooler in the kitchen. Too cool. I've only been in there a minute and I'm starting to shiver already. The churning of my stomach has turned into a dull throbbing ache and I can actually feel the heat slowly drain from my face as my mouth fills with water. I think I'm going to be sick and I rush to the nearest bathroom just as the ache in my stomach moves lower.

I can't help but moan in pain. My lower abdomen feels as though the muscles are twisting and pulling. Fuck. I realise what's happening to me then, but it's never felt like this before. There has never been pain, but then, I've never been awake when it happens. Surely I would've woken up if it felt like this. I gasp in shock at the sudden sharp feeling of tearing and reforming. I want to scream and cry out, but no one can know. My lips are tightly pressed together as I groan and whimper. Darkness is encroaching on my vision and I'm thinking that passing out would be a really good idea until I hear voices from just outside of the bathroom door.

"Dude, have you seen Rachel?" Great, Finn is looking for me.

"She's throwing up, dude." I think it's Mike who replies, but it could be Sam. The harsh sound of my own ragged breathing makes it difficult to hear clearly through the door. "Sounds nasty too."

Finn's heavy fist is banging on the door now. He's asking if I'm okay, if I can open the door for him to come in, but I can feel it between my legs and the pain is starting to ebb away. There's no way that I can open the door and let Finn see me like this. I'm wearing a tiny bikini, I've left my beach bag outside by the sun loungers and even if I did manage to cover my penis long enough to get into my spare clothes, I didn't think to bring my spanks. The bulge will still be noticeable to everyone who looks at my crotch.

"Quinn." I groan through the door. She's the only option I can think of to get me out of here and back home without anyone else knowing. "Get, Quinn."

tbc