Part 5

"Quinn." I groan through the door. She's the only option I can think of to get me out of here and back home without anyone else knowing. "Get, Quinn."

….

I thought that I'd managed to keep my secret. I have denied and I have lied, but all that was for nothing now that I am huddled up in the corner of Mrs Fabray's downstairs bathroom with my forehead pressing against the cool wall tiles. I'm hurting more than I ever thought possible and I can barely move enough to slowly pull my knees up towards my chest. I grab for the towel wrapped around my shoulders and drape it over my waist and thighs.

I was too exposed and afraid of what was about to happen next.

Quinn is the only person to ever see me completely since I'd hidden myself from my fathers and the confused doctors. She has seen all of me, both sides. She saw me rock out with my cock out in the girls bathrooms and she saw under my skirt in the janitors closet, but I successfully convinced her that I was completely normal, and now I need her help. I need to get home where I can hurt in peace and curse out my great aunt Lilith without curious or disgusted gazes focusing solely on me.

"Get, Quinn." I call out again. My beautiful voice sounds raw and squeaky, but under the circumstances I let it slide. You can't really critique a seasoned performer for going sharp whilst in so much pain.

"Rachel, open the door." I'm wishing as hard as I can that Finn would just go away, but he's still calling out to me. He bangs on the door. "I can help you, we don't need Quinn."

I take in a long shaky breath, ready to tell him to take a leap (only with more expletives) until I hear Quinn's angry voice. I close my mouth and focus more on breathing and less on yelling.

"If she's puked up all over that bathroom, she can clean it up herself." I wrap my arms around my knees in relief that she's finally here. "Damn Puckerman to hell for convincing me to let him throw his party here. That's the last time I'll ever let him convince me to do anything. First a baby and now RuPaul's in there probably drowning in her own vomit. My mom's going to kill me." God, I love Quinn Fabray.

"Rachel?" I hear Kurt's voice now and wonder if the entire Glee club is standing outside of the bathroom door listening to me moan and groan. "Open the door, sweetie. Quinn's here."

If I could move to open the door, I really would've as soon as I heard her voice. "Quinn?" I whimper.

I hear her huff loudly and ask someone for a nail file. Suddenly the lock clicks and the door starts to open. "Just Quinn." I gasp, pulling the towel across my lap as I see a hand appear around the door that was certainly too big to be the blonde's.

"Hold your horses, Finnocence. Girl said Quinn, not Finn." Great, the entire Glee club is standing outside the door.

I watch as Quinn squeezes through the gap in the door before it's quickly pulled shut behind her. I'll have to remember to send Santana a thank you cookie basket for keeping my ex at bay.

She's looking around the small room, probably expecting to see a disgusting mess instead of me in the foetal position near the sink. Confusion knits her fine brows together. "I thought you were sick?"

I swallow thickly as I try to stand. I hiss in pain and stumble back to the floor. My vision blurs and the room tilts violently.

"Drunk much?" She chides as she stands above me with her hands on her hips. "How much did you drink, anyway?" I blink my eyes slowly, watching as she looks towards the door. "Your boyfriend should be in here, not me. At least he could carry you out to his truck."

I take a deep breath. It was now, or forever be known as a 'chick with a dick' by the entirety of McKinley High and beyond, because even though the other Gleeks are my friends, I'm under no illusion that everyone at school wouldn't find out if the others knew. Friends talk, and then they're overheard and the next thing you know, I'm splashed across Jacob's blog under the headline 'There's nothing wrong with her having a schlong', He/She loving by Jacob Ben Israel.

I flip aside part of the towel covering my lap and slowly straighten my legs as best as I can without causing too much pain.

Her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. She stares between my legs for a few seconds before she's bending down, hissing at me. "I knew it." She snarls. "I knew I saw a … it, and you made me feel like I was losing my mind. Damn you, Rachel Berry."

"Shush." I snatch at the sun dress she must've put on sometime whilst I was stuck in here; and pull her close. "Please, Quinn. I'm sorry for not telling you the truth, but no one can know, please." I become desperate, and even though it was my only real choice, I'm hoping I didn't just make the biggest mistake of my life.

I'm clutching weakly at her pale yellow dress, begging her not to tell and she's just staring at me. "Who the hell would believe me if I told them?" She scowls and pushes my hand away from her so that she can stand back up. I cover myself and gingerly pull my knees back up towards my chest. "The Cheerio's already call you RuPaul and a tranny, and we all know that they're just stupid nicknames. Well, that's what we thought."

I return her scowl with one of my own. I start to move slowly until I'm hunched over, but standing. I perch against the very edge of a low cupboard, keeping well away from my delicate tackle. "Even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a transvestite or transsexual, Quinn, I am neither."

"Then what are you, Rachel?" She snaps. "Because, you sure as hell aren't normal."

If I had the strength to cross the small bathroom unaided, I would lash out at her. "I am most certainly normal."

"Girls don't have those, Rachel." Quinn's pointing at my crotch, looking a little ill herself.

"Damn." I gasp. My towel had dropped away without me noticing and I have inadvertently exposed my left testicle when moving. I tug my bikini briefs across, not that it really makes much difference. I blink rapidly and try to rein in my anger and hurt. "I am a girl, Quinn. I just happen to get a penis instead of a period."

She's throws her hands out to the side and looks completely incredulous. "And that's normal in your world?"

"I didn't ask for this, Quinn." I pause and frown. "Well, I did ask for this, but not this." I point at the poorly hidden bulge in my swimsuit. I wince as I try to straighten up.

She must finally see the pain I'm so evidently in because I can see concern flicker behind hazel eyes. "What happened? What's wrong with it?"

"There's nothing wrong with it." I'm offended that she would think that there's something wrong with my penis.

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at me. "I meant, why are you in so much pain? I'm assuming that that isn't normal."

I lean away from the cupboard long enough to reach down and grab the towel. I wrap it around my waist like a skirt as I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. It's never hurt before. I get cramps, but that's it."

"Is it bad?" Quinn steps closer to me then, almost reaching out to steady me before snatching her hand back. "Is it contagious?"

"No, Quinn." It's my turn to role my eyes. If my monthly dick was contagious, surely every female I'd come into contact with since I was twelve would be sporting a were-penis? Including, Quinn Fabray. "I don't really know what's going on, it just hurts so much."

"Perhaps we should call your dads, or an ambulance. There might be something seriously wrong."

I stumble awkwardly towards the door and lean against it. I feel as though my privates have been dipped in acid and my thighs were covered in sandpaper. Every movement sent waves of pain crashing over me and I was seriously impressed with my continuing consciousness. There is nothing I want more than to succumb to an insensible state (except for that coveted EGOT), but that would have to wait until I was in the comfort of my own home.

"Please, Quinn. No one can know. You don't understand." I whisper as I press my forehead against the cool wood and squeeze my eyes shut. I can still hear them just outside the door, and if I can hear them, I have to be careful that they can't hear me.

She closes the short distance between us and places a gentle hand against the small of my back. "Then tell me. Make me understand. Rachel?"

"I'll tell you everything." I sigh heavily as the warmth from her hand seems to comfort the tremendous ache. "Just, get me home without anyone else knowing, and I'll tell you everything."

I still have my eyes closed, but I can feel her staring at me. She's weighing her options. Tell the Glee club, don't tell the Glee club. Ruin the Glee club, or keep the best friends she's ever had. Tell Finn, don't tell Finn. All of her options, in my opinion, are two sides of the same coin. Help me, don't help me.

Her hand moves slowly up and down my back and the relief I'm feeling makes my knees go weak. I'm smiling before she's even spoken. We understand each other, Quinn and I. We might have our differences (Ha! Even I can laugh at that understatement), but we come together for Glee, for our friends. She knows that I'm not an evil dwarf intent upon world domination through fame and fortune, and I know that she's not an evil cheerleader intent on dominating her world through fear and anger. We see each other sometimes. We see the scared teenaged girls others tend not to see.

She sees that I'm afraid and in pain.

"You need to move away from the door if you want me to fix this, Rachel."

I turn watery eyes to her then. "You won't tell anyone, will you?" She shakes her head at me. "Promise me, Quinn. Say it out loud."

She sighs and purses her lips before she rolls her eyes at me. "Fine. I promise that I won't tell anyone about your thing. Not that anyone would believe me anyway." She raises a fine brow and I can't help but narrow my eyes at the action. "Is that better, miss drama queen?"

I nod and grasp her hand just as she steps back to give me room to move. "Thank you, Quinn."

She waves off my gratitude. "Just remember that you owe me big for this, Berry."

"I'll remember." I breathe slowly as I step carefully away from the door. It still hurts like a bitch. The searing pain seems to be more focused in my junk whereas the aching has settled in my lower abdomen. The ache is more familiar to me and I'm hoping that the 'knife to my groin' pain will dissipate given a little more time.

Quinn drops the toilet seat lid for me and I settle myself on the edge. "You need clothes." She nips at her lip as she's thinking. "Baggy pants and a tee. Your short shorts won't hide a thing." She's smirking then. She finds something amusing that I'm not a party too.

"What?"

She shakes her head. "Sorry." She giggles. "I should've said that your short shorts won't hide your thing." She smiles as though she's made a joke. If I was in a better mood, I might have found it funny myself, but I was currently hiding the extremely painful arrival of my penis from the world.

I scowl at her. "What I find so amusing, Quinn Fabray, is your prudish inability to say the word penis or any other name pertaining to the male, or in this case my, genitalia."

Oops, maybe now was not the right time to say that.

"Screw you." She snarls at me and makes a grab for the door handle but I yell out to her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

She pauses for a second and the commotion outside the door gets louder.

"What's going on in there?" Finn's pounding on the door again. "Guys, let me in."

She's glaring at the door and her arms cross over her chest. I need to say something to defuse the situation before she throws open the door for everyone to see me.

I reach out and touch the flare of her dress with my fingers. "I don't think you understand how unbelievably exposed I am right now, Quinn, and I don't just mean my privates being on display." I swallow thickly. "No one else knows except for my aunt, but I haven't been able to get in touch with her for a really long time. I confused the doctors and I made my fathers cry, so when it disappeared and then came back every month afterwards, I kept it to myself. They think I'm normal, but you're right, I'm not. I'm a freak, Quinn."

She turns around and looks at me with something like sadness in her hazel eyes. "I know what it's like to have a secret that you're scared to talk about, Rachel."

I take a deep breath and nod my head slowly as I remember her secret. The secret I told. "Please don't tell, Quinn."

"I won't." She whispers before pulling open the door a few inches and squeezing through the gap. "Back up, doufus. Berry's fine." I hear her growl at Finn (I'm assuming). "Well, she will be. Santana, I need you to go to my room and fetch me a pair of sweats and a t-shirt."

"What's going on, Q?"

I'm listening carefully, hoping that Quinn keeps her promise.

"Rachel's all gross and sick." She huffs. "She's asked me to take her home."

"I can take her home." I groan when I hear Finn again.

"I saw you throw back at least four shots." Kurt pipes up. "We've all drank too much to drive."

"Except for Quinn." Brittany adds her two cents and I smile. "She's barely drank half a glass since we got here."

"Right." Quinn speaks again.

"I can come with you and take care of her." Okay, I really need to set things straight with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't need or want his help, especially right now.

Quinn lowers her voice until I can barely hear what she's saying, but I do manage to catch the gist. She's making out that I don't want Finn to see me looking so nasty because no girl who likes a guy wants him to see her at anything but her best. God damn, Quinn Fabray.

I'm back to scowling at her when she comes through the door with spare clothes.

"What?" She's smirking, and I know that she knows that what she said to Finn was out of line.

"Nothing." I cross my arms over my chest so I'm not tempted to strangle her with my bare hands.

She snorts her laughter, which makes me blink in surprise. "Shut it, Berry." She's still giggling. "I got them all to go back outside, didn't I?"

"Yeah, by telling them all that I was crying about ruining Noah's party."

She shrugs as she flicks out the folded sweat pants and tosses them to me. "Be grateful that I didn't tell them all you had lady wood and didn't want anyone to see you popping a tent."

My eyes widen and she's back to laughing. Where did prudish Quinn go again? I think I like her better. "I'm glad that you're finding this so funny." I pull the t-shirt over my head.

She bends to help me with the pants. "Trust me. If I wasn't laughing right now, I would be freaking out, and that's not what either of us needs."

I suppose that's true. It's not every day that something this strange lands in your lap.

She's helping me to stand and pull the waist band of the grey sweats up past my thighs when her knuckle grazes my sensitive penis. I gasp and feel my face warm, but I can't tell who's more embarrassed. By the flush of colour to Quinn's cheeks, I'm getting that she didn't mean to touch me there.

Damn, why does she have to be so pretty, and at face level with my crotch?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean …"

"It's okay." I swallow thickly. "It didn't hurt." Even though I was still feeling that horrible aching, most of the intense agonizing pain in my groin seems to have gone.

She's looking up at me and then she's standing, looking everywhere but at my face. "Okay, let's get you home and into bed."

Did she have to mention getting me into bed? Where is the pain when you need it? My cock twitches and I stare at the white tiles of the bathroom, momentarily picturing the moment in Funny Girl when Barbara sings People. That scene was always enough to dampen my ardour when need be.

"Are you singing?" Quinn's frowning at me.

I stop my quiet murmuring. "No." I try to stand straight, but the ache in my belly flares. "Can we please just go before anyone comes back inside?" She's standing beside me now and she wraps her arm around my waist to help me walk more quickly. I'm suddenly hyper sensitive and very aware of how close we are. My mind falls into the gutter when I realise that I can feel the soft swell of her breast against me. "I'm in serious need of Midol and a hot water bottle." I breathe. And the cool lotion kept in my bedside drawer.

tbc