The Rose and Her Thorns

Harley sat in the living room floor, Eli and Gabe sitting on either side of her and holding her hand. The normally happy harlequin was shaking, effectively traumatized by the car ride home. The twins tried to console her, saying that Sunni was just especially angry during the ride and that she didn't want to kill her. Nothing they said really made a difference, though. Harley had officially shut down, rocking the nine year olds back and forth in her arms and whispering, "He was looking for me. He was looking for me."

Eli caught the whispers, turning to Ivy and saying, "I don't think it was the car ride that did it."

Sunni suddenly came in, normal looking, but sober. Her eyes scanned the full room, resting on Ivy and Eddie on the couch. In her hands, she held several bags full of merchandise. As incredible as it may seem, she and Harl had managed to hold onto their stuff throughout the entire ordeal.

When she spoke, Sunni's voice was calm and surprisingly flat for the normally expressionate teen. "I take it there was a breakout?"

Ivy nodded, pulling Camden even closer as he sniffled. Her bright green eyes locked onto Sunni's, showing actual concern for the girl in the doorway. "Sweety are you okay? You seem distant."

Something passed across Sunni's face, but it was gone just as soon as it appeared. The flat dead tone was back in her eyes. She had retreated back into her shell. "I'm fine. I just wanna take a shower and get something to eat."

With that, Sunni strode off towards the bathroom down the hall, dropping the bags next to the couch as she passed. Jaylon watched from the ceiling for a second, floating down to perch on the back of the sofa. His eyes had tears in them, but his voice betrayed more disappointment than sadness. "She's just like Dad was when Mom died."

Eddie and Ivy looked at each other, understanding what he meant perfectly. Ivy was about to tell Jaylon to come sit with her and Camden, but Harley jumped in. "Come here Jay-Jay."

Jaylon leapt off of the sofa, landing lightly in front of Harley. He took in her features, studying them more intently than your average six year old. Her eyes were still scared, but they had gained more of their normal optimistic vibe. Harley smiled gently at him, holding open her arms so that he could climb into her lap. "It'll be alright. Your sister is really strong. I should know; I was in the car when she had the guts to run down Killer Croc!"

Everyone laughed at that, including Ivy and Eddie, who were normally too serious to even chuckle at one of Harley's jokes. The twins stood, sharing a secret look that could only mean trouble. Gabe composed his face again. For what it was worth, his features could have been carved out of marble. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, brother mine?"

Eli was now grinning manically, reminding Ivy somewhat uncomfortably of the Joker. "Oh yeah!"

With that, the spikey-haired boy shot off down the hall, moving so fast that all the others saw was a blur of color. The sound of frantic rummaging resounded down the hallway, making Ivy somewhat nervous. A loud, "Ah Hah!" came from Eli and he was back in the living room in a flash. In his hand he held a video camera, the bright blue casing glinting in the low light of the living room.

"I have a video that is sure to lift your spirits. Well, it will ours anyways, I'm not sure about Ivy or Eddie."

The plant villainess nearly bolted off of the sofa, but Eddie pinned her down, aided by the little boy safely tucked in Ivy's grasp. "Oh no you don't! I wanna see this because this might acutally make me laugh. Surprising as it may seem, I find laughing at myself to be beneficial."

Incredibly, she calmed, leaning back into Eddie as she resumed her stroking of Camden's hair. Her silky auburn hair was flowing across the bare skin on Edward's arm, causing gooseflesh to ripple across the limb. "Why is it that when I do something embarrasing, people find it funny?"

Harley piped up, now back to her normal bubbly self. "Because you hardly do anythin' that's funny Red. You're always so perfect. That just makes your mistakes all the funnier."

Ivy pouted, burying her face into Eddie's chest. He squeezed her slightly on the shoulder, chuckling. "You know your pretty cute when you're acting like a child."

A single green hand reached up and slapped him on the chest, knocking the wind out of the poor man. Smiling, Ivy sat up slightly, whispering, "That's what you get for being a smart-aleck."

Gabe raised a hand and shouted, "If the lovely couple on the couch would be so kind as to SHUT UP, then we can get on with the show. Now, Eli and I set this camera up in Ivy's bedroom last night. It was after she had fallen asleep of course, but before you freak out, I want to say that it was to watch the wolves. My peanut butter crunchies have been disappearing as of late, so I just wanted to see if it was any of the wolves that were doing it. Imagine my surprise when this showed up on the screen when I reviewed the footage."

Eli had connected the small camera to the television, the high-definition screen showing what had happened the night before in perfect clarity. Ivy was asleep in her bed, the wolves sprawled on the floor around her. A dark shape started stumbling up the hall, and who would enter but Edward Nygma? His eyes were closed and his hair was tousled, but he stepped around the wolves expertly, not even brushing a single strand of their pelts.

He crawled into the bed, sliding under the covers and lying on his back. Ivy rolled over, snuggling close to him with a smile on her face. He curled an arm around her, nearly pulling the minty green woman on top of his chest. Eli fast forwarded the footage until about six o' clock in the morning. Edward nearly had to peel Ivy off of him, still asleep while he did so, and strode back down the hall. With that, Gabe shut off the video with a triumphant smirk.

Ivy and Edward were both blushing fiercely, the latter of the two clutching onto his partner in embarrasment. Harley was rolling on the floor, tears streaming down her face as she gasped for air around her desperate laughter. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! RED AND...AND...EDDIE...AND...OH MY GOD!

Camden had long since climbed down from Ivy's lap and was now laughing with the rest of them. Ivy buried her face in her hands and scooted as far away from Nygma as possible. "This is so embarrassing."

Eddie for his part was surprisingly cool. His face might have been as red as a beet, but he was managing to not stutter as he muttered. "I really need to correct my sleepwalking problem, although, last night was probably the best night of sleep I've had in a while...OWWW!"

Ivy had slapped him again. "Don't feed off my embarrasment and NEVER come back in my room again."

Joker's Hideout; Abandoned Whoopy Cushion factory

The sound of manic cackling reverberated through the metal building, grating on both Harvey and Two-Face's nerves. When is that idot going to stop! I'm about to shoot him!

Harvey tried to soothe his more dominant half, but there was no going back. Two-Face was large and in charge, and there was no way to stop him once he was on a roll. The only thing that did that was the coin. The tool by which he and Two-Face lived rested in their scarred hand, the agitated Two-Face rubbing it with his thumb. The cackling continued for a while, but it slowly died off, the last of it echoing off of the metal around them.

Okay. That was creepy even for us.

Nodding, Harvey started up the ladder that lead him to Joker's "playhouse". Several gruesome renditions of familiar toys littered the area, making everything seem like a minefield for children. Jack-in-the-boxes that would spit acid; rubber snakes designed to eject SmileX once touched. It was a rather horrifying sight, but the chuckling that eminated from a large clown-shaped throne was enough to chill Dent and his violent counterpart to the bone.

"Oh Facey! I've been getting lonely!"

Two-Face stepped forward, the scarred half of his face terrifying in the shadows. His voice growled out, doing nothing to stop the clown's insane grin. "What do you Joker? I know you have to have a plan, otherwise my ass would still be in Arkham."

The Joker's white face glowed white in the light, that crimson and bloody grin stretching the clown's face to disproportional dimensions. "I'm gonna kill Batsy! But while I do that, I wanna get rid of a certain thorn in my side, if you catch my drift."

A bright orange eye glowed as Two-Face grinned. He did catch the drift and that was woman that he was absolutely itching to blast full of holes. Poison Ivy; the bitch was going down. But first... Taking out his coin, the men flipped the double-headed coin, watching as it glittered and spun. It landed in his palm, the scarred side up, Lady Liberty blackened and burned and scratched. Death for that little Rose. Dent tried to fight free, but now Two-Face was in control.

"We're in. So what do you want us to do? I know you sent Croc after Harley, but what about Zsasz and Bird-Boy?"

Chuckling, Joker steepled his fingers and settled back into his rather grotesque chair. "Johnny boy's going to lead me to Harl since Croc was a miserable failure. You and Zsasz are going to take care of small, green and Itchy."

Two-Face and Harvey both agreed on one thing; they did NOT want to work with Victor Zsasz. He was psycho to the seventy-fifth power. "Can we just do it on our own? Zsasz can kill people on his own, but we wanna off Ivy."

Tilting his head slightly, Joker stared at the men that were trapped in the same body. His smile widened even further, showing Harvey just how dangerous he really was. "Of course ya can Facey. Just make sure you do it right, otherwise you're gonna get a face full of laughter, patented by the good doctor himself!"

With that, Joker threw his head back, laughing at that same high pitched and insane tone his laugh had before. The sound reverberated through the abandoned theater, rebounding off of the steel walls and pounding its way into the mobster's eardrums. Nodding curtly, Two-Face forced Harvey's legs to walk down the ladder and out the door, pulling a slip of paper from the black half of his suit and smiling evilly. Things were about to get really nasty for Ivy. And come to think of it, Riddler had it comin' to him too. Why not kill two birds with one stone?

Ivy's Home; 10:30 p.m

Sunni snuck through the house, trying not to wake anyone. She needed some cash and she needed a joyride. As soon as she had gotten out of the shower, Ivy had pounced on her, saying that if she ever pulled crap like that again, she was going to be a dead person walking. Sunni had simply nodded and went on, actually quite scared of the slight woman that was only a few inches taller than her.

But, the fear didn't stay for long, because as soon as Ivy was asleep, the teen felt the incredible urge to go on another joyride. Why fight something that came perfectly natural to you?

So here she was, grabbing the keys to the General Lee and tiptoeing out to the Charger. The door didn't even make a sound as she slipped out into the night. The cold crisp air of December rose up to meet her, fingers of ice clawing into the girl's body. She didn't care. The bright orange paint job shone in the darkened shed, and she knew that she was about to do the stupidist thing she had ever done in her life; she was going to defy Poison Ivy.