Not sure how far I plan to go with this story, felt a bit inspired after playing Hogwarts Legacy. Rated T for cursing because let's be honest, what teenager isn't cursing? Also, is it Muggleborn or mugglebornd? Muggles, muggles, Wizards, wizards; grammar is hard.

Lily Evans hated crying. To be precise, she hates crying in public.

It makes her feel vulnerable, to have people see her cry. Doesn't matter what it was that drove her to tears – be it anguish, frustration, anger. She just hated crying in public because it made it very clear that whatever she was exposed was affecting her, invoking emotions and reactions that she would rather keep hidden underneath.

She's gotten good at that by now, keeping a calm composure in the face of frustration, discrimination. Merlin knows she's faced enough of that for the past five years. But something about this particular week; stress from her O.W.L's, frequent arguments with Severus, dealing with Potters' antics.

"I don't need help from filthy Mudbloods like her!"

She hadn't meant to tear up on her way out of the crime scene, really. But Severus casting those words her way with such venom was just the tipping point, and she didn't even realize she was crying until she marched back into the Gryffindor Common Room and holed herself up in her dorm, on her bed.

"…break my bones, but words will never hurt me". She cursed whoever thought of that rhyme, such a shit thing to even live by. Words can always hurt when they're spoken by people you expose yourself to.

At the sound of several rapid taps, Lily snapped out of her misery-induced thoughts and peered over to the window by her bed, the origin of the noise. She hesitates for half a second, thoughts of birds flying through her dorm running rampant in her head, but curiosity gets the best of her.

She snaps open the lock holding the window in place and peeks her head outside, to see a wild nest looking right back at her. It takes only a second for her mind to catch up to her vision, and she notices that this nest is in fact, James Potter's hair – she knows this because really, who else has hair like that? So chaotic and yet so pristine at the same time, like organized chaos. And naturally, it takes her another split second to register James Potter was sitting outside her dorm room on a broomstick.

James has a concerned look on his face, as if wondering if Lily would even humor him, but his face lit up the second Lily popped her head outside her window. "Blimey I was worried you might've been elsewhere! Please just hear me out Evans, give me one minute of your time, 30 seconds even –"

"What are you doing here?" Her brain honestly was not working right now. How did he get up here? How did he know which window was by her bed? How did he even know she'd be in her dorms? She expected Severus and James to both try and get her attention, to speak with her. But not like this, this was unexpected.

"Er, hoping to speak to you?" James Potter gripped his broom tightly as he gave her an uncertain look. The winds at this elevation were ferocious, whipping his hair back and forth in every direction, but all Lily could pay attention to was that nervous look on James' face, like he was half-expecting her to just push him off his broom, towards his untimely death.

"Lily, you have every reason to push me off my broom right now, I wouldn't even blame you. Merlin knows I'm a right arse who deserves it and –"

"But how did you get up here?"

James raised an eyebrow, and looked at the broom he was sitting on. "Is that – is that a trick question?"

"Yes but, how? I thought you couldn't – I know you shouldn't' – you know, girl's dorm and all. Magic." She was not speaking coherently, she knew that. But honestly, could anyone blame her?

"Ah! Yes, that - charms and stuff – all it took was a counter-charm, you know. Do, and un-do, all that whatnot." James fortunately was not speaking very coherently either, a thought might've put a smile on Lily's face if she wasn't still reeling back from shell-shock. "Lily, I just wanted to speak with you for a mo', I'd understand if you'd like some time and –"

"You're calling me Lily."

"I'd – well yes, I mean that is your name after all. Honestly woman I'm hundreds of feet above solid ground trying to apologize to you for being so shite, and I'm not even sure you're entirely here with me."

Lily couldn't help it. She smiles as James confusion pulls her out of her stupor. Or perhaps she'd fallen even further into insanity, because she found herself reeling her head back in and beckoning him inside. James' eyes widened in surprise, clearly this was not how he imagined this conversation going. "Are... are you sure? Wouldn't want you to get in trouble, bringing a lad into your dorms and all. I mean, blimey, are there even any rules about boys coming in? Reckon it's never even happened before, so there can't be any rules yet."

"Mary's watching the door, it's only you and I in here. Just come inside before I change my mind."

That seemed to be the only cue James needed, as his jaw goes slack and clambers his way through the window. "Don't…have to tell me twice – bloody hell …these windows are so tiny, honestly do they expect you to jump – oof!"

James ungraciously falls on his face inside as he pushes off his broom and squeezes his limbs through the narrow opening, planting his arms on the inner wall to propel him through. He turns to lay on his back, appreciating the view of Evans staring down at him from her bedside. "Hello Evans, fancy meeting you here, yeah?"

Evans doesn't humor him with a response, choosing instead to stare at him questioningly as he gets up, dusts himself off and proceeds to stare around awkwardly. She raises an eyebrow, enjoying this rare opportunity of watching James Potter out of his comfort zone. After a few moments, she looks to end this awkward standoff just as James finally chooses to speak up.

"Look Evans, you have every right to be cross with me. Hell if you'd shut the window on my face, I'd completely understand. I'm an arse, an arrogant prick, a stubborn-headed mule who – I'm just so sorry Evans. I'm sorry for what happened, for what I started."

"Not your fault." Lily shakes her head, she feels the tears starting to well up again, and refuses to lose to her emotions again. "Well not entirely your fault, you didn't make him say it."

"Sure but I'd reckon he'd never have said it if I didn't have him handing upside by his cuffs."

"Yes, but he'd never have said it if the thought didn't cross his mind." Lily counters back and this seems to have lulled James into a silence, with nothing to say back. James resorts to running his hand through his hair as he looks around awkwardly again, a gesture Lily does not miss. She used to think he did it because girls loved it in the past. True as it might've been in the past, she now notices how it's more of a twitch, something he does involuntarily when he's put on the spot.

"Still doesn't make what I did right, what I started. I'm sorry for all of it; for hexing Snape, for egging him on, for just being such a – a," James stumbles for words.

"A bloody toerag?" Lily suggests with a small smile, a gesture James returns once he realizes Lily isn't mad with him. "S'alright, apology accepted. I've seen the magic he's dabbled in, the people he spends his time around. I tried to overlook it, to push him past it because he's… I don't know."

Lily shakes her head and goes quiet, opting to rest her chin on her knees as she brings her legs in and wraps her arms around them. James sees the hidden gesture and sits down at the opposite end of her bed, looking at her as if egging her to go on.

"This all started with him, with Sev. One day I'm a scared child thinking I'm just a monster, some kind of freak compared to everyone else. That's what all the kids called me – a freak – when strange things happened around me. Then he comes along and washes away all my doubts, introduces me to a whole new world. And yet here I am, getting ostracized all the same, except now I'm not a freak, I'm a Mudblood –"

"Stop, just... please stop." James leans closer and cuts her off. "Please don't use that word, it's not… you shouldn't be discriminated just because of your heritage. It's not something anyone can control, just like how we can't decide who can and can't do magic."

"The word doesn't actually bother me much anymore." Lily reassures him. "It's just been a long week, and I never expected Sev to consider me that way." Her words fall on deaf ears.

"Even then, you wouldn't call a person of color a racial slur so you definitely can't call a muggle that. It doesn't define who you are. You are so much more than that, Evans." James looks directly at Lily and she's caught off guard by the sincerity behind his gaze, the focus he directs at her. "You're the best of us all, and I won't have you believing otherwise."

Lily feels her cheeks flare up at the sheer determination on his face, looking at her as if nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that he managed to sneak into the girl's dorm, that just 30 minutes ago he was a bully picking on a defenseless classmate, that Lily was quite visibly a mess – with her eyes puffed up, hair in complete disarray and snot threatening to drip from her nose. None of it mattered, it was just him and her in this room, in this world.

"Thank you, James." James is the first to break their gaze once he realizes just how hard he was staring at her, and pulls back embarrassingly, opting to stare at Lily's bedsheets instead. Seconds go by, but the silence between the two makes it feel as if it were minutes.

"I don't mess with people anymore. Not as much, nothing harmful at least, just some small pranks here and there… Not sure why I felt you needed to know that, but… yeah."

"I know," Lily says. "I've noticed it. Well, you haven't changed much around Sev and his pack."

"Yes well, that's a little different," James waves her off. "It's a mutual relationship. Even if we stopped, that wouldn't mean they would. It's just how it goes for us."

"You sound awfully confident about that," Lily bites back. "It's a bit arrogant to assume their stance on the matter, no?" She really meant to say Severus' standpoint, but at some point today, she'd accepted that him and they were one and the same when it came to his lot.

"It's what they stand for, Evans. That says it all," James frowns, looking slightly frustrated. This wasn't the first time they argued on the matter, but he knew better than to start one now. "Dabbling in Dark Magic, chatting about Voldemort's in broad daylight – as if he's doingsomething right – hurting only Muggleborn students; it goes against everything I stand for, there's no lost love here. Doesn't matter how many times we argue over it, it's not a one-way street for us."

Lily doesn't respond, because deep down she knew the truth as well. The things they did to others, to Mary, to innocent students, she didn't miss how they relished in it. She just hated how the war out there started to feel like it was creeping its way into the school. School didn't feel safe anymore.

"…They were the first friends he'd ever made. I couldn't fault him for wanting to defend them at first," Lily says quietly. "He was so upset when I sorted into Gryffindor, and I was worried he might be all alone. He had a difficult childhood, and he was my friend."

Her tears were starting to build up again, and this time James noticed. "He was my first friend from this side of the world that I was so lost in at first, and I hoped that with time maybe, he might come back around, come back to me."

James made to put his arms around Lily and froze, hesitating and wondering if maybe she might slap him across the face for doing so. After a brief moment, he moved in and put his arms around her awkwardly, testing to see if she would pull back in disgust or not. After no such reaction, he let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding and made to fully embrace Lily, gripping her shoulders and murmuring reassuring words.

Moments pass by, and this time they sit in comfortable silence for quite some time. As she calms down, Lily starts to think about this abnormal situation she's found herself in. Lily Evans and James Potter, cuddling in the girls dormitory and she's actually not so averted to the idea of James Potter hugging her; all of a sudden, Lily is acutely aware of the disastrous appearance she's probably putting on.

"I should, I should go wash up – no! You can stay –" Lily interjects herself once she sees James making to get up and leave. "If you want to, that is of course. Not saying you have to, just… didn't want you to get the wrong idea. About why I'm getting up." Lily's face heats up. She's rambling and she knows it. He knows it as well and she knows that he knows, which makes her face heat up even more.

"Well alright then Evans, if that's what you want." Lily had half a mind to walk over and slap that cheeky smirk off his face, cheeky little shit that he was. But she didn't, she walked straight to her washroom before she said or did anything she might regret, anything that might just egg him on.

She came back after several minutes and was admittedly irritated with herself for being somewhat happy when she found James still sitting on her bed. He was looking around, soaking in the view of the girls' dormitory. She might've found his childish curiosity endearing, if it weren't for the shit-eating grin on his face. She could basically hear the thoughts running through his heads. "Pads won't believe it when I tell him!" She could picture Sirius Black's reaction and it honestly did put a smile on her face. She enjoyed watching Black get served.

"The lads won't believe it when I tell 'em," Lily mimics and James' gaze snapped to her and Lily could've sworn that the smile on his face got just a little bit bigger. James wiggled his eyebrows and Lily couldn't help but laugh. She could read his face like a picture book and it wouldn't have mattered. She needed this, she needed him to bring her out of her slump.

"Actually though, Potter. How the hell did you manage to fly up here. Black tried that ages ago and I'm sure you would've been the first person he told if he succeeded."

James ruffled his hair again, this time with a sheepish smile on his face. It was odd to her, it was such a simple gesture, yet she could tell when he was either embarrassed or uncomfortable. He was just running his hand through his hairs, but there were levels to it. Lily just now started to realize that perhaps she was paying a good amount of attention to this annoying boy (much more than she realized) if she could tell the difference.

"Eh, y'know how charms are. Each charm hypothetically has a counter-charm, an un-do spell. Took some time to figure it out, convinced Dumbledore I was up to some mischief – he enjoys that, believe it or not – and he agreed to tell me the nature of the spell. Took some time, but I managed to figure out a counter-charm that helps mitigate the charm."

Now that caught Lily off-guard. "You... you created a spell? What?"

"Eh, it's not perfect," James brushed off Lily's amazement. "But I did find some books about the school's charm in the restricted section; studied the origin of the hand motion and root of the spell, and made up a bit of a counter-charm. Can't cast the school's spell of course, way too difficult. Would've been easier to figure out a counter-charm if I could. Figured that's why Professor Dumbledore even considered telling me."

It was weird hearing James (Potter, as she viewed him) rambling about Magic Theory like it wasn't an abstract concept. Professor Flitwick often brought it up in Charms, and of course it was certainly achievable. Every spell that currently exists had to be discovered, if not created, by someone. But still, there were people outside of Hogwarts that couldn't even grasp the fundamentals of original spell-crafting, let-alone actually create a spell.

"That's, actually amazing, Potter. You created a spell! You – wait, why did you even bother to… Potter," Lily had her hands on her hips in disbelief. "Tell me you didn't do all this work just to find a way up here."

And just like that, the cocky look on James' face was back. Hearing Lily compliment him was a foreign experience, but getting on her nerves? James could do that without even thinking. "Come now Evans! How else was I going to bring gifts up to your dorm?"

"My god," Lily snorts. "You're not real, Potter. You're insane."

"I'm insane for you Evans," James corrected. "And besides, Merlin knows if I gave something to you in-person, you would've made a fool of me in front of everyone," James had a childish grin on his face, and Lily sported one back at him.

"And rightfully so, you annoying git," Lily snapped back. "I spent at least a week wondering how you snuck roses into my dorm last Valentine's. I should scream right now, imagine the look on everyone's faces. 'James Potter the pervert, snuck his way into the girl's dormitory to take advantage of a vulnerable teenage girl'."

"Oh, but just think about the stories, Evans!" James remarked. "They'll speak about my accomplishment for ages, I'll go down in Hogwarts History!"

They joked around, but it certainly did leave Lily wondering. She never gave his advances a second thought because she actually would have preferred the Giant Squid over the self-righteous prick that Potter was for the past two years. But if he'd gone far enough to study Magic Theory and craft his own spell, well that certainly counts for something.

"Thank you though, for letting me come see you."

"Thank you for coming to see me."

"Then, thank you for accepting my apology."

"Ah, but thank you for being mature enough to apologize."

"I think you should speak with him. With Snape."

And just like that, the smile falls right off of Lily's face. It was as if James had just sprouted another head and was speaking a completely foreign language. "What? Speak with him? Why? Wait, you of all people, want me to speak with him?"

"Oi, don't get it mixed up now," James clarifies. "I hate the sleazy git as much as he hates me, but I know he does regret what he said. We're boys, Evans. We do stupid shite all the time, you've seen me."

Lily doesn't even bother arguing with him on their perspective of Severus, or how far gone he was. She was still a little baffled by his suggestion, to be honest. "I mean I get that, obviously. I've had to deal with your antics for five years. But you? You want me and Sev to make up? Have I been Confunded?"

James just shrugs at Lily's baffled shock. "I know he makes you happy," James isn't even looking at her as he says that, and says it quite reluctantly as well. "I think you're bloody crazy for giving him the light of day, but I'm not blind to the point where I can't see how much you care about him. I don't like seeing you sad Evans, and if you trust him enough to come back around, then I'm willing to put my faith in you."

He'd asked her out for years now, certainly. But years from now, when she thinks back to this moment, she'd say this was when she realized he cared. That it was real, what he felt for her. If not at first, then certainly now. The sincerity on his face and in his words held no lies about how he felt about her, about wanting for her to be happy.

"I'd almost believe you, if you hadn't annoyed the ever-living shite out of me for the past five years."

"Sad, Evans," James says with a smirk. "I don't like seeing you sad. But an angry Evans is a fit Evans, and that just does things to me."

Lily isn't sure when she got so physically close to James, but she's thankful for it. She wallops his arm in response to his childish antics, but it does nothing to calm his laughter, and she can't help but laugh in return.

"Thank you Potter, really. For coming to check up on me. I needed this." She said it with such sincerity that James just stood there and looked at her, really looked at her. The smile on his face was hard for her to decipher. Was it happiness? Relief? Comfort? Pride? Love? All of it in one? She didn't know, but enjoyed knowing she could bring it out of him.

"You belong here with us, at Hogwarts, on this side of the world. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, Evans."

"Lily," she said it without even thinking, but it takes the wind right out of him.

"You called me Lily earlier."

"Well that's your name, isn't it Evans?" James has a shit-eating grin on his face again, and Lily finds herself winding up again. She missed this feeling, to be honest. Down-to-earth and wholesome James Potter was something she was going to need time to adjust to.

"Stop being such a prat… James," James' eyes shot up in surprise. The gesture certainly didn't go over his head. Nothing Lily does ever goes over his head. A hopeful smile finds its way across his face.

"Are we… are we having a moment here? Do I, and dare I say it, sense a connection between us, Lily?"

"Potter-"

"Right you are Evans! I shan't push it today." So he says, but the cocky grin doesn't leave his face as he walks back over to the window to see himself out. He opens to window and reaches out for his broomstick and… grabs empty air.

He sticks his head out the window and looks left, right, left again, right once more, left again just in case. But he knows where it is now, and peers down to find his shattered broomstick, hundreds of feet down below on the castle ground.

"Evans... ah, Lily. Bit of a problem, love."

...

Merlin, he was going to be the death of her.