Songs Bumblebee uses are Abandon Your Friends by From Autumn To Ashes and Structure by InnerPartySystem. Neither of these songs belong to me.

Chapter 4
What was left of Team Ninja insisted I stay a while this time, at least for the funerals, and Ironhide got permission from Optimus for the two of us to stay. We found my mother, and it took all my strength to keep myself from murdering her for what she had done as she was arrested.
Annalease's funeral was on the last day, and after that I found myself lying on my old bed in my dad's house, staring at the ceiling without really seeing it.
I was thinking, but it wasn't Annalease I was thinking about. That was a subject I refused to force my processors to stumble over.
I was thinking about an older Cybertronian femme.
She'd come to find me when I was 7 years old, and I met her a little while after Tessa died. I couldn't remember her name, or what she looked like, or what she had said.
There was one thing I remembered.
I climbed off the bed and knelt down, pulling a small box out from under it, right where I'd left it.
I pulled the lid off and stared at the contents.
This box still contains my most prized possessions and precious memories.
There's never been much in it.
I looked through the box, moving aside the photos and trinkets until I got to one of the oldest things in the box. It was certainly the oddest thing in there. It was a large medallion, the likeness of a dragon, its wings folded, engraved on the metal. I ran a finger over it slowly, lost in thought. There were one or two things I did remember about the old femme. I remembered thinking she was strange. I'd been a little bit afraid of her. Also, something she'd said to me as she handed me the medallion.
"Accept what you are, learn to control it, and you can control your own destiny."

I brought my box back to the ship with me, and hid the medallion in one of my drawers, the box under my bed.
After a few minutes just lounging around feeling sorry for myself I made up my mind. I wandered out of my room, down the corridor to Optimus' room, a couple of doors away, and hesitated outside the locked door. I wanted to see him, badly, but…he would know. He would know what I wanted to do. He would stop me.
"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"
Seeing that my choice had already been made for me, I turned to face my teacher, and threw my arms around him, happy when he pulled me close and held me tightly.
"Not really." I answered him quietly, "I just wanted some company."
I felt Optimus tilt his head slightly, my spark beating faster at the feeling of his face against my neck.
"I'm sorry." I told him.
"For what?"
"Everything."
Optimus pulled away from me a little bit and rested my forehead against mine, so he could eye me curiously.
"Clara, what's wrong?" he asked me, the desperation obvious in his face, "You can tell me. You know that."
I eyed him uncertainly, then my mouth brushed lightly against his in something too brief and fleeting to be a kiss.
I pulled out of his suddenly unresisting arms and back into my room, the door locking automatically behind me.
I went over to the chest of drawers next to my bed, and opened the top drawer, hesitating as I moved the medallion aside, searching instead for the only other thing that was in there. I closed my optics as my fingers gripped it tightly, bringing it to my side. I gritted my teeth in an attempt to keep myself from screaming as the agonising pain shot through my body from where I had struck myself. I opened my optics with a gasp, barely noticing the knocking on the door as I stared at the stained knife in my hand. The pain was strong and harsh in my side, but the rest of my body was numb. I didn't, couldn't, do anything to stop the knife falling through my fingers and clattering to the ground.
My vision was blurred and faded, and the world was silent.
It was with relief that I allowed the darkness to take me.

Most people dream of rainbows and teddy bears (it's what I used to dream about until I was 6), or celebrity hotties and crushes (never happened to me, but I've heard that some guys and girls experience it), or happy things in general (yeah, right).
Me?
I dream of Death.
Death finds his way into all of my dreams one way or another.
When I'm not having nightmares about losing the ones closest to me, my dreams can sometimes be pleasant.
Those are the times I dream about my own death.
I always imagine it being easy, and peaceful. No more worries, no more sadness, no more heartache or pain or anger.
It would be everything that my life wasn't, but that I'd always wanted it to be.
Maybe, just maybe, I would be happy.
It couldn't be any worse than this dump, anyway.
But there's a problem with all of this. See, the thing about dreams?
You always have to wake up.

I woke up to a loud crashing, made even louder by the ship's metal walls, which only served to echo the sound and bounce it back at us.
My vision was blurred, and my hearing was fuzzy, but I thought I could hear someone calling my name.
I let out a light groan, shifting slightly. I hurt. All over.
Still, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
It was another few minutes before I could see and hear properly again. Ratchet, the medic from Autobot turf, was leaning over me, with Sideswipe and Arcee.
I was in my room on the ship, and a glance around told me that Ironhide and Bumblebee were just inside the door…or, doorway…what was left of it.
"What happened?" I asked weakly.
Ratchet frowned at me.
"Don't you remember trying to kill yourself?"
"I wasn't talking about that." I snapped. My suicide attempt had been trashed. Again. Dammit.
Ratchet looked round to see what I was eyeing so warily.
"Optimus got a little bit worried when you wouldn't answer the door." he said, "We found it easier to just leave it like that so we can get in and out easily." He glanced at his student, who was watching him. "All right Sideswipe. Let's go." Turning back to me, he said, "You'll be fine. Just don't get up any time soon. Sideswipe and I are outside if you need us."
He left, Sideswipe in tow.
'We've abandoned our best friends.' Bumblebee accused me through the radio as he came closer.
"I know, Bumblebee. I'm sorry."
'Why did you bend and break?'
"I'm sorry, Bee." I insisted quietly, "I just couldn't take it anymore."
We all looked up, wincing, as another crash echoed through the ship.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Optimus is pissed off." Arcee replied.
"I need to see him."
"Whoa." Ironhide stepped forward to interrupt, "You can't just go bouncing in there after three weeks and-!"
"I don't think I'll be bouncing anywhere for a while yet, Ironhide." I laughed, then my processors came to terms with the weapons specialist's full sentence. "Wait, what do you mean, 'three weeks'? Three weeks since what?"
"Well…" Arcee looked uncomfortable, "You've been in a sort of…coma."
I blinked."Well…that explains why the stab wound doesn't feel as bad as it should."
"Ratchet said it'll only be a day or so now." Ironhide told me.
I was already feeling better than I had when I had woke up, so I sat upright. My side was throbbing, but quietly enough that I could easily just ignore it.
"I can go and see Optimus now." I told them, "I feel well enough."
Another crash. Ironhide stared at me.
"Right now? With him like this?"
I sighed and climbed out of the bed. Immediately my head started aching and I felt dizzy. My balance was completely out of whack.
Ironhide sighed, and he and Bumblebee helped me up properly.
They got me to the bedroom door, then I was strong enough to get to Optimus' open door by myself.
I'd only been in Optimus' room once before, and it had been nothing like this. The once tall, proud bookshelf was on its side, its contents spilled all over the room. Everything in there, usually so neat and well looked after, was suddenly messy and broken.
Optimus' storm had, for the moment, blown over. My teacher was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands.