Hey everyone! Sorry it took me this long to update. Things have been crazy lately. But enjoy the chapter and review! :D
Chapter Fifteen: Unanswered Prayers
Edward carried me inside his house once we arrived home. I was still crying, but I wasn't sobbing as hard as I had been. He brought me into the living room, holding me close to his chest.
"Edward? Is that you? Did you see that Jasper is here?" I heard Alice trill as she walked into the room. I heard her gasp as she took in my appearance.
"What happened?" Alice demanded as she ran over to where Edward was now sitting on the couch, cradling me.
"When we went to her house to get some of her stuff, her mom was there." Edward said quietly as he stared at me. He didn't take his eyes off my face.
Alice gasped again and leaned down to look me in the eyes.
"This calls for a girl's day." She said quietly with a soft smile. "You, me, and the only three men a girl can count on. Ben, Jerry, and Nickolas Sparks."
Despite myself, I giggled. It was hoarse do to my lack of talking.
"Okay, Alice. Thank you."
"Where's Esme?" Edward asked as he, finally, looked away from me.
Alice sighed. I peeked over at her to see Jasper standing behind her, holding her waist. He smiled at me sympathetically. I tried my best to smile back, but I knew it wasn't convincing.
"She went to the grocery store. She should be back any minute." Alice said as she began walking out of the room with Jasper in tow. "I'm here if you need me Bella." She called.
I nodded, but I wasn't sure if she saw me. I kept looking at Edward's face, drawing the strength I needed to keep moving from him. He looked down at me, worry written all over his face. I didn't want him to worry for me. I knew I was going to make it through this…as long as I had him by my side.
But all I could think about was my mother back at Charlie's house. It was hard for me to imagine her around the house. She hadn't been there in so long; it was hard to imagine her there now. Was she still there? Or had she already left again? I wouldn't be surprised. That's just what she did.
The front door opened and I heard light dainty footsteps enter the foyer.
"Alice? Edward? Bella? Anyone home?" I heard Esme yell out. It warmed my heart slightly that she called my name when she called out for her children.
"In here, mom." Edward said quietly.
I heard Esme patter her way into the living room.
"Oh goodness." She gasped as she looked at the scene in front of her.
I listened to her as she ran over to where I was. I looked up at her as she sat down on the couch near me. She reached out and grabbed me, pulling me to her.
"Edward, give Bella and I a few moments alone." Esme demanded in a soft voice as she began to push the hair that had been matted to my face back.
Edward looked over at me and locked eyes with me. He had a look of determination on his face as he stood up.
"I'll be right upstairs if you need me Bella." He said as he kissed my forehead. I smiled slightly and nodded at him. He smiled back and then turned and walked out of the room.
Esme stood up and smiled at me. Ok, go get changed." She said.
I cocked an eyebrow at her, confused, and she laughed slightly. "I want you to go upstairs, take a shower, throw on your pajamas and come down here. We'll talk about everything then. I'll meet you down here in half an hour." Esme scooted me out of the room and started heading to the kitchen as I went upstairs.
I kind of went through the motions in a daze. I grabbed an oversized hoodie and a pair of sweatpants along with my delicates and quickly went into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and made it so cold, I almost couldn't stand it. But I needed to numb the pain that I was feeling and this seemed like the only way to do it. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I turned the knob and made it warm again. I sighed as it warmed my icy skin.
Once I was through with the shower, I quickly got out and dried myself off. I threw on my clothes and, after twisting some of the water out, I threw my hair up into a messy bun. I sighed as I looked in the mirror. I glared at the eyes I saw in the mirror looking back at me. They were the eyes of my mother, the eyes of a woman who left her family for her own selfish reasons. I wiped the mirror with my hand, smearing the image slightly with the water from the steam of my shower. I didn't want to see those eyes anymore.
I walked out of the bathroom and started to slowly trudge to the stairs. I stopped for a moment, hoping to hear Edward making some sort of noise from his bedroom, but I heard nothing. I figured he was composing, which is what he normally did when he had alone time.
I walked down the stairs and heard movement in the living room. I peeked in and found Esme sitting on the couch with sweatpants and an old oxford sweatshirt on. Her hair was thrown in a ponytail that lay delicately on her right shoulder. Even dressed down she still looked like a model.
When she saw me enter, she patted the spot on the couch next to her. She had various junk foods on the coffee table, including some of my favorites. She must have noticed what I munched on the most.
She smiled at me as I took my seat.
"Okay, Bella. Let's talk." She said simply.
I sighed and pulled my legs up to my chest, biting my lip. "Well today after school I asked Edward if we could go to my house and get some clothes and a few of my possessions so I didn't have to keep using Alice's stuff. And when I got home…" I bit my lip again, not wanting to continue. Then I remembered that my mother bit her lip, so I quickly stopped, feeling ashamed that I was like her in anyway.
Esme reached out and grabbed my hand. "It's okay dear, just tell me when you're ready."
I sighed. "My mom was there." I said in a whisper.
Esme's eyes widened. "Your mother? Is that the first time you've seen her since she left?" Esme asked.
My lip started to tremble as my eyes filled with tears. "Yes. And she just waltzes in there like she owns the place. She used the spare key to get in the house. And when she saw me, she acted like everything was okay. But it's not! And then she told me that the affair that she had when she was still with my dad was with Mr. Monroe, my stupid chemistry teacher. I come to find out that she was staying with him after she first left us. She was still in town. And then to know that Mr. Monroe, one of my favorite teachers and one of our old family friends had something to do with it…it kills me. It makes me sick to know I'm related to her."
Esme let me finish my rant without any interruptions. She waited for a few moments after I finished and let me steam before she began to speak in a gentle voice.
"In the past few weeks, I have seen how unfair life can be to people who do not deserve it. You do not deserve any of the things life has thrown at you, but you have taken them in stride. You keep your head up no matter what happens and I admire you for that.
"Now I want to tell you a story, Bella. When I was a young girl, a few years younger than you, my parents started to fight. It got to the point where at night, I would fall asleep with a pillow wrapped around my head, desperate to block out the yelling. But my parents were both very Catholic. They didn't believe in divorce, whether or not it was what was for the best. So they stayed together for better or for worse." Esme pondered this for a moment. "Actually, there really wasn't a better in their life, so they just stayed together for the worse. But they found other ways to get around their problems." She laughed a short laugh. "I find it funny that even though divorce was unacceptable to them, they could find some way to justify infidelity and alcoholism."
I stared at her with wide eyes and she smiled at me sadly. "They stayed like that for a long time. Drinking and cheating. At least I didn't know any of the people my parents slept with personally," she said, giving me a sympathetic look. "But it drove me insane none the less. Sometimes, I wished that one of them would just leave or put their morals aside for what was better for both of them. But they never did. They stayed together though it nearly killed us all. The alcoholism would eventually take my father while my mother ended up dying of old age. And I was almost dead emotionally. I had gone to the hospital with my father when I was 20 and I met Carlisle's father. He was my own father's doctor. He introduced me to Carlisle one day when he had come to the hospital to have lunch with his father. He saved my life.
"That's why he reacted so strongly when he found out about your past. He knew what that could do to a person. I had given up on everything until I met him. He saved me." She said with a smile.
I listened with rapt attention, not being able to picture the Esme that sat in front of me now as an emotionless hopeless mess. She sighed again after a moment and started to finish her story.
"Now in no way am I justifying what your mother or father did to you. But I bet as a child you prayed and wished every night for your mom to come back and for her and your father to get back together. But if that would have happened…I would hate to see you in the environment that I grew up in, Bella. I was so lost when I met Carlisle. I've learned to thank God for unanswered prayers. The way you want things to happen might not be the way things are supposed to happen."
I stared at her calm face, trying to figure something out.
"But I don't understand. You wished and prayed for your parents to get a divorce and to get away from each other. Why are you thankful that no one answered those prayers or wishes?" I asked.
She smiled at me. "Because if my prayers had been answered, I would never of have met Carlisle. And he's the one thing that put me back together and completes me." She smiled down at her wedding ring. "I wouldn't trade that for anything. He gave me my kids and I wouldn't trade that for anything." And then she looked up at me. "And I would have never of met you either, Bella. And I wouldn't trade that for anything either. Not only have you made my daughter and son extremely happy, but you've made this whole family happy. Carlisle and I consider you a daughter already. Emmett and Alice consider you a sibling. And Edward…" She trailed off, looking teary eyed and winked at me.
I was crying by this point, but I had to laugh a bit. "Thank you, Esme. You really helped me put some things into perspective."
She nodded. "I'm a mother. That's my job." She finished with a loving smile.
As if knowing the important stuff was over, the front door burst opened to reveal a very excited Alice.
"Okay, Jasper is busy doing some school work at the library, Dad isn't due home until 10:30 tonight, and Edward is doing a composition or something." She reported to Esme. "Did you complete your part?" Alice asked Esme as she nodded in approval of Alice's report.
Esme nodded in approval. "Good job, Alice. And yes." She said, pointing to the table on her side of the couch. I peeked over to see "The Notebook", "A Walk to Remember" and a few other titles. I smiled.
Esme cocked an eyebrow at Alice. "Did you get the stuff?" She asked.
Alice nodded with a smile and pulled two bags out from behind her back. And from the bags she pulled out two gallons of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. "Oh yeah." She said with a mischievous smile. "I got the stuff."