My last spoof of the season. While I'm super happy about Finchel, I though the writing of this episode was pretty dire. Lots of bad writing for me to spoof! If you enjoyed, please review!

The Glee club are sitting on the steps of Times Square. Surprisingly, it is almost deserted. Rachel enters.

Rachel: Guys I have great news! I have got us 13 tickets to see Cats the musical!

Quinn: Seriously? 1 and half minutes in and we're already out of character? Fuck this, I still be going ahead with Serial Killer Quinn. It's happening!

Mike: Why only 13 tickets; don't we need a chaperone?

Finn: Well considering Mr Shue has already abandoned us and it's illegal to only have one chaperone to 13 kids I'm guessing no. Is it too early to start gazing at Rachel yet?

Rachel: Go for it Finn! I'm just going to insert a vulgar and illogical joke about a butt crack and then we'll cut to…..

END SCENE

Will: Me already? Damn, this is quick editing!

Hotel Receptionist: Welcome to the International Continental New York Times Square. (pauses and then looks unsure) Is that enough brand advertising or should I do it again?

Will: No it's fine. I'm so poor even though I have a huge Cheerio budget. I can only afford 2 rooms (starts to cry)

Hotel Receptionist: Well, a few suggestions. If you're so poor why didn't you just stay for one night? Also, FYI perhaps stay somewhere that isn't Times Square? Or finally, failing that, just sell your hat?

Will: I don't think that would bring in much money? It's worth like nothing.

Hotel Receptionist: Did I say sell? I meant burn.

Will: Also, we need to stay longer because if it's just one night Finn and Rachel won't have time to get back together.

Quinn: And I won't have time for my evil masterplan? Right, Mr Shue?

Will (looking at his watch) Sure, Quinn. We've still got plenty of time! Did you hear that? (Alarm starts going off) It's the Finchel alarm!

END SCENE

Finn: Hey you.

Rachel: Hey, how's serial killer Quinn?

Finn: I guess she accepted the inevitable. (He rips off his jacket to display a T-Shirt with the slogan Bye Fuinn, It's Finchel time. He pauses)

Rachel: Why the pause?

Finn: Oh these Fuinn shippers are crazy; you have to make it really clear or they'll start making up shit about how I'm really in love with Quinn again. So anyway, how's Jesse? And Puck? Let's get St Berry and Puckleberry written off in under 5 minutes and get our reunion on!

Rachel: Finn, I'm far too busy enjoying New York to discuss the fact I've chased you for six months. Walks off leaving Finn very confused.

END SCENE

Finn and the rest of the boys are sitting in their bedroom.

Finn: Hi guys, can I do a Finchel duet again?

Mike: Definitely, it'll help us win!

Sam: Finchel did a duet last year and you lost? That was made clear last week?

Finn: I know but we need to get back together and there's only 36 minutes left!

Sam: How about we actually address the fact that we got a plane without any songs? Even though we've been talking about Nationals for a year? Or the fact it's two days away and we still have no songs?

Finn: Dude! Shue might be listening? Do you wanna mysteriously transfer next year or something?

Sam: Hello! No way they getting rid of the homeless kid! I'm relevant again and without falling back on my eating disorder! I can do whatever shit I like now, like eating Doritos from a bag! Thank god for continuity errors!

Mike: Totally and I've got Tina so….

Finn: Yeah good luck with that one. So back to me and Rachel….

Puck: Why don't you plan an over the top ridiculous date so you get Finchel fans back on your side? You've got 35 minutes to go from douche to a hero man! Let's get to work and forget about the songs for now!

Artie: PREACH!

END SCENE

Rachel and Kurt are drinking coffee outside Tiffany's.

Rachel: So although I've threw myself at him every single week without fail, I'm feeling fairly neutral towards Finn now. Sure I want to get back with him, but despite his efforts last night, I didn't feel Central Park, a romantic meal and being serenaded was epic enough? We're Finchel; does he know that? I'm not sure if I should hold out but time is ticking Kurt! I've created this new storyline of me being independent and loving stardom but how long can that realistically last?

Kurt: Let's break in to a Broadway theatre! There's a security guard who lets anyone in apparently! We can sing a song as a distraction tactic? Then let's all move to New York together!

Rachel: Definitely; except for Finn, because although this has never been mentioned before he's actually a farmer who lives in the country.

Kurt: Tough break!

END SCENE.

Santana, Quinn and Brittany are in the bedroom.

Santana: We've been sent in to break some terrible news to you Quinn.

Brittany: Your storyline's been cut to make way for a girl group rapping to Usher. You have approximately 30 seconds to deliver your Serial Killer plan as promised to Finn last week.

Quinn: Shit. Okay, I hate Nationals, I'm going to get Kurt and Rachel kicked off the team for sneaking off, even though I told everyone to do this yesterday.

Santana: Hmm, but the thing is you wouldn't have known about Kurt and Rachel sneaking off last week so it doesn't really….

Quinn: (checks watch) Why won't anyone love me? I hate myself!

Santana: Sam loved you.

Quinn: Not him.

Brittany: Well Puck definitely loved you.

Quinn: Not him either.

Santana: Is this about Finn? Do you want him to love you again?

Quinn: No, not him either. Perhaps I'm not being clear. I'm switching tactics and trying to get sympathy by breaking down and pretending to be unloved.

Santana: Let's chop all your hair off instead!

Brittany: Definitely.

(Stopwatch bleeps in the background)

Quinn: Gosh that scene went quickly!

END SCENE

The group are gathered in the bedroom, awaiting Mr Shue's return.

Finn: Hey, Mr Shue come look at our songs! Here. (He thrusts a piece of paper in front of Will)

Will: Finn, I've been busy pretending to be on Broadway all day.

Puck: Well maybe you should have helped us rather than give us a stupid book.

Mike: Or taught a lesson that involved more that one word! Here, Mr Shue, read mine?

Will: No guys. Why don't we let it be a surprise? Given that Nationals are tomorrow anyway. I'm just going to…

Rachel interrupting: Guys, I've just figured it out: Mr Shue can't read!

Will: What! That's ridiculous! Just because I never read your songs, have abandoned you in New York, broke numerous Health and Safety regulations by putting you in the same room and encouraged bullying does not mean I can't read.

Finn: Either that or you're a really bad teacher who deserves to get fired.

Will pauses, thinking of his paycheck, along with the fact that the April Rhodes musical clearly won't make any money: Your right! I can't read! Group hug please!

END SCENE

Rachel and Finn are backstage before singing their duet.

Rachel: Finn, you wrote an amazing song. Considering yesterday you were struggling to find words to rhyme with pain and copy of Brittany in Math, you have now somehow written a complete song.

Finn: Fuck the song, I got the lyrics of the internet. How dare you not immediately get back together with me woman? It's been a whole week since I broke up with Quinn and I've totally forgot about the fact you cheated on me. Let's just get back together and ignore our issues!

Rachel: Although I love you, I can't Finn! I am so dedicated my dreams of stardom that there's no way I could get involved in a love triangle.

Finn: Makes sense I guess. No worries.

Rachel (thinking): Unless… unless you make out with me on stage but that's never going to happen!

Finn: Deal!

END SCENE.

Coffee Shop

Sam: Do you think anyone knows we're going out?

Mercedes: We're background characters, I don't think anyone gives a fuck. This just stops us become extras.

Sam: Dammit- you're right. Maybe if we got involved in some kind of Finchel love triangle.

Mercedes: Or why not combine our eating storylines to form a kind of anorexia/over-eating disorder anonymous group?

Sam: Definitely!

Both high five.

Sam: So should we get some kind of couple name or…..

Mercedes: There's no time. Quick, hold my hand!

END SCENE

Brittany and Santana are at the lockers.

Santana: So, even though the rest of the group spent no time contributing to the songs in any way, I'm so annoyed at Rachel and Finn right now. How dare they write the songs and then make out? I mean I did spend the entire day helping Quinn cut her hair but I didn't make out with anyone! Are you and Artie back together?

Brittany: Nobody knows! We just decided to act like we're back together to delay the Brittania reunion.

Santana: Cool. I know I've said this already but I love you. However, I'm not prepared to be in a couple with you and I am not going to explain why.

Brittany: So no storyline progression in the finale? Dammit! Emotional hug?

Santana: Hey, it could be worse. At least we're not Wemma!

END SCENE

Finn and Rachel walking to the choir room, holding hands.

Finn: Man to think of all those times we delayed the reunion as it was too early and now we literally had one minute to resolve all our issues.

Rachel: But we totally did babe. I mean you explained the Firework comment… oh wait. Okay, well you explained why you forgave Quinn so easily and… Oh, no you didn't do that either. But it's not like we're getting back together without talking about why we broke up? Is it?

Finn: That's what next year is for babe! Also you managed to get a whole new storyline in there with that whole one year thing! Finchel for the win!

They enter the choir room.

Quinn (wearing a T-Shirt with the slogan: A Haircut changes everything)

Hey guys! Finn and Rachel, what a cute couple you are! Rachel you look so pretty! Let's have a sleepover and do each other's hair and you can tell me how happy you and Finn are together. Finn, let's forget you dumped me. In fact, let me give you a pat on the back for doing so! Finchel for the win!

Will enters the choir room.

Will: All storylines resolved with seconds to spare guys! Well done! Let's forget that we came 12th because we were totally unprepared and my poor teaching skills. Everyone loves a happy ending, so how about a round of applause?

END

So that's it! Man, there are so many inconsistencies in this ep! Hopefully the writing will be better in series 3! If you read and enjoyed, please review! PREACH!