Hello everyone and welcome to the first chapter of our new story. Fate/Stay Cooking Game Night. With me is my friend, partner, and co-writer/author, JoySeeker101.
Joy: Eeeh! New project in the Waifu…I mean, Fate Fandom! I will try to help in this uncharted adventure too XD… As long as Saber is treated respectfully, I am no Simp, but… Heads gonna roll otherwise.
Hey, Saber is best in the series, right next to Sakura who has a lot of untapped potential then the Damsel in Distress roll she's given. Anyways, this idea came to me after reading Joy's story and "Fate Recast" by MM007.
Joy: I am not apologizing.
… Apologize for what?
Joy: For putting ideas in your head XD
(Shrugs) Hey, I've seen a lot of [Gamer] fics, but none that have Shirou be that, and what better way then having him have that and the Gourmet System together to make him a RPG Cooking hero~?
Joy: Ha-ah! Super Chef with super RPG Powers, that's going to give headaches to a looooot of people, and I live for that!
And hey, Shirou and Izuku can meet in another world and have our two stories crossover~ There are Danger Beasts in Fate~ Would make good meals~
Joy: Food for thought for a nice omake XD
A cooking battle of two Gods~!
Joy: "HYYYYYYYPE!"
Anyways, you want to do the disclaimer?
Joy: Sure! Neither me nor Angel/Nobody own the right of Fate, Gourmet of Another World or The Gamer series! Please support the official release!
Thanks you, now, shall we start Shirou's journey as the Fate/Nasuverse God of Cooking~?
Joy: Hell yeah!
Well then, onto the story~!
Chapter 1: Changing Fate one Dish at a time! A Let's Play~
(The Kaleidoscope)
In a place outside time and space, a lone 'man' was sitting in, looking through the vast timelines in the Nasuverse wondering what he could do to entertain himself this time. This was Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, one of the founders of the Clock Tower and the Magician of the Second Magic. And he was facing a problem… He was bored out of his mind.
"That one world where Shiro is fixed from Alaya's tampering was good… but there's nothing new to get me excited for now…"
"Maybe the System can be of Assistance then. If the Founder of the Clock Tower is open to a partnership." a metallic, genderless voice offered while speaking in third person.
Zelretch's eyes opened wide. "Who are you, and how did you get here without me sensing you?"
"The Gourmet System is the Gourmet System. As an entity tasked with selecting the new God of Cooking for each world, there cannot be limitations to its powers." the strange mass of shapes, colors and light answered.
"... Huh… I have to admit… I've never seen a being like you, and I've seen every type of Godly being out there…" Zelretch stated, actually looking intrigued at the being.
"The System is not a threat."
"I never said you were, just different. You've gained my intreg~" Zelretch stated, a smile forming on his face. "So, may I ask, why have you chosen our world? Alaya and Gaia won't take too kindly to someone trying to create a god in the modern era."
"I allowed him in," a female robotic voice stated, startling Zelretch. This day kept getting more and more surprising to him. He saw a sphere of blue light and rinds appear, this one of Gaia. It then glowed and transformed into a motherly looking woman with plants made to look like hair, and vines with flowers for her hair. "Greeting System, I see you got my invitation~"
"The System still is unsure if the Candidate you proposed is worthy. A test will be required."
"Oh, so this is your true form Gaia?" Zelretch asked, his boredom being killed by this new event. He then bowed to the two Godly beings. "You two may already know me, but let me introduce myself properly, I am Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, one of the founders of the Clock Tower of my universe and the Magician of the Second Magic~"
"The System is pleased to make your acquaintance."
Giai smiled at the wizard. "I hope you'd be willing to help us out, you and Merlin."
"Oh, and why the help of the Mage of Flowers?" he asked, getting intrigued further.
"I have seen what he did in one timeline where he helped Artoria and Shirou," Gaia stated.
"Ah, the Recast timeline," Zelretch nodded in understanding. "Alaya does not like true magic, in any form, seeing it would destroy humanity to extinction in the wrong hands."
"The System wonders why not forbid the knowledge, or erase it altogether. Is it really necessary?"
"One, that would destroy us," Gaia stated. "We can't live without magic. Two, she's the collective unconsciousness of mankind, she has humanities' flaws and dark sides as well."
"Then what do you want from The System? Why was The System asked to help?"
"... I want to help her…" Gaia admitted. "I may be the force for just the world, but I do see humans a part of its survival as well. They've proven time and again how they can survive the hardest of trails. You should know this~"
"Fair enough, if Humanity is an integral part of Reality, in exchange of helping The System find a new Candidate for the title of God of Cooking, The System will help in your mission." the shapeless mass answered.
"Good, now we just need our fourth helper~" Gaia stated. She then summoned a magic mirror to talk to said forth.
(Tower of Avalon)
In the reverse world, a floating tower was seen. In it was the man known as Merlin. For some he looked nothing like he does in the stories, a white haired young man in caster robs. He was pulled from his musings when a magic mirror appeared in his room.
"Hm… Strange. My Clairvoyance didn't let me see this, how odd?"
The Mirror then revealed the faces of Zelretch, Gaia and the System.
"Why is this fool necessary?" System asked.
"He may be a womanizer incubus, but his skills in magic and tactics are not to be questioned," Gaia stated.
"He is a fool though, that is very true." Zelretch admitted, chuckling.
"Ah, Zelretch, were you the one who summoned this mirror in my workshop~?" Merlin asked with his knowing smile.
"I would love to take the credit, but it would be Gaia that did it," Zelretch stated, pointing to the woman.
"Oh~ I did not know you had such a form Lady Gaia~" Merlin stated, trying to be smooth.
"Nice try there Merlin," Gaia stated, not affected by his charm.
"Initiating Twisting Testicles Protocol. Target: Merlin…" The System declared.
"Now, now, no need for that," Gaia told the System.
"So what brings you to speak to me~? I thought the protector of the world would not like to meet me or Zelretch~?" Merlin asked. "I'm guessing it's my King's love interest, Shirou Emiya~? Boy knows how to get girls without trying~ Seems Gaia is no different~"
"Can you think with a different body part than your pelvis for once!? This is not about Love!" Gaia answed, exasperated.
"The System is here because Shirou has been presented as a worthy Host Candidate."
Merlin used his Clairvoyance, and answered with his knowing smirk, "For the Fate/Nasuverse God of Cooking~ An ambitious goal~ Trying to create new god~ And you need me to make sure his magical abilities are at their finest along with his other abilities since I taught Saber~"
"... Give him this, he knows what he's doing…" Gaia mumbled out.
"But what about your field Gaia~ Won't his magic decay from it~?" Merlin asked, already knowing the answer.
"As the future God of Cooking, this won't be an issue. The two Magic systems he will possess wil sustain each other and cover each other's weaknesses."
"And, I want to try out a system I've used in other realities," Gaia stated, getting a devilish smile on her face. "[The Gamer]~"
"That is compatible, thus The System seconds the motion."
If the two males were drinking anything, they would have done a spitank. "[THE GAMER]!?" they shouted, knowing about this from worlds outside the Nasuverse. "YOU WANT HIM TO BE YOUR CAMPION EVEN AFTER YOUR 'SISTER' DID TO HIM IN OTHER TIMELINES!?"
Gaia raised her hand to stop them, and gave the two an angered look. "I will NOT make him a puppet!" she stated sternly. "He will be his own person, not a slave that kills people. [The Gamer] is a power that will help him get stronger and become the hero he's always wanted to be."
"... Alaya will not like this you know…" Merlin stated, looking serious. "She's altered his life so many times to where she wants him to be her sword."
"Oh, to the Underworld with her!" Zeltrech answered, scoffing. "This is to fun to pass up~"
"The System suggests for her to go get copulated."
"Uh?"
"The thing meant for her to go get fucked." Gaia explained. Her face then changed to that of somber, letting out a sigh. "... She has seen the worst of Humanity… She fears that they can't be saved without her, and no other way is possible… She's scared that they'll kill themselves to the point of extinction, and need to follow her lead…"
"This paranoia will be her undoing one day."
"That's what I fear the most… She'll be the one who ends humanity without her realizing it… I've seen similar beings in the Persona-vers… And they were worse than her."
"... You want Shirou to save her as well…?" Zeltrech asked, finally understanding. "You don't want her to become a tyrant. She's forgotten the good in humanity after seeing so much bad from it…"
"I believe in everybody deserving a second chance. Even somebody like her." Gaia answered. She turned to the System. "That's why I brought them here, to see if they can help, by helping the one she's hindered the most."
"The System will help by virtue of our missions coinciding, but the System will act in defense of the Host should that woman become too big of a Threat to ignore."
Gaia sighs. "I guess that's fine, but we need him to train as hard as he can so he can become the start of the new Gods."
"New Gods, plural?" Merlin asked.
Gaia smiled. "What~? Do you think his love interests won't become new gods in this timeline with him~? Shirou will become the God of Cooking, Crafting, and Heroic Victory~ Maybe even smithing if we play this right~"
"By the sorry state of your world Magic, this will only be beneficial. You need new Gods to bring balance." the System added.
"... Others will try and stop magic from getting out though," Zelratch stated. "Magis are prideful beings and will kill those that threaten their secrets."
"Yes, and if we are in this mess it is also thanks to those Primadonnas afraid of people stealing their thunder and hating technology because it's taking away magic." Merlin added.
"... Have you ever heard of Techno-magic in other worlds?" Gaia asked the two men. "It combines both technology and magic to make something powerful."
"It has been registered an increase of 15% in stability of spells as well once added technology to Magic."
Merlin thought about it. "We'll need someone that can become a god of Intelligences, Magic and Progression then…" He grimaced. "If Shirou's father, Kiritsugu, was still around, he would have been a good candidate… Even with his past actions, he was still a good man deep down… And wasn't afraid to use modern means with his magicraft."
"Is the Mortal known as 'Rin' a good candidate for that? " System asked.
"She's as tech savvy as a rock…" Zelretch stated flatly.
"Analysis…The attitude grade is indeed only at 2%. The System retires the suggestion."
"... Is there a way to bring back Kiritsugu from the dead, we might be able to," Merlin stated. "We'd need to work this right though."
"The System can fetch the soul. Do you have a way to repair the body?"
"His old body was cursed by Angra Mainyu after the Fourth Holy Grail war," Merlin stated. "We'd have to make him a new one."
"Searching….Searching….Searching…"
"What's the Rorschach Test doing now?" Merlin asked.
"Searching?" Gaia answered, smirking.
"Ah-ha. Smartass."
"Found a solution…Universe 337. Plant known as Body-Making Lily. We will need a drop of blood of the original and some Ambrosia to purify it and act as combustible."
Both Zelretch and Merlin looked intrigued. "A plant that makes grown homunculus, fascinating," Merlin stated, awe in his voice.
"Caution, somebody with a good grasp of Time Magic is needed to control the body growth to avoid it being harvested as too young or too old." the System warned them.
Gaia and Merlin pointed to Zelretch. "You know his magic is time right?" they asked the robotic lovecraftian.
"Just in case you three thought The System would do all the work."
"... Aren't you the one who wants their host to be challenged by other gods?" Gaia asked them.
"They will. But the System still wants its partners to pull their weight. The System is no fool. You all have History of just giving instructions and then standing there watching while acting as Sages. You won't do this with The System, it's time to work."
"Have you not seen the world I gave Iilya her magic girl powers~?" Zelretch asked the system.
"...Oh yes. A true Utopia." The voice was monotonous and yet impossibly full of mockery. Merlin went to talk, but the system interrupted him. "You don't get to say anything since you like messing with people for fun…"
"I'll sit this one out." Gaia admitted.
"Anyways, we still have a problem," Merlin stated, getting serious. "Should Shirou get his powers a few months before the Fifth Holy Grail War?"
"Good Question." Gaia answered, dubious.
"Six months before it starts?" Zelretch asked.
"That would give Shirou a very tight schedule and a strict timeline to follow to ensure he will be ready." The System added.
"And your Year to get ready for an impossible test wasn't~?" Merlin asked the System with his smirk.
"Host Izuku was given one single year because he already possessed the necessary knowledge thanks to his reincarnation. The Year time limit was only for him to polish his knowledge, his achieving the full unlocking of it and for him to defeat his own self-doubts and low self-esteem." The thing answered.
Merlin smirked. "I know, I just wanted to get your reaction~ Also, Shiro does have his Tracing powers, if not the First Magic~"
"Do you not believe in him then?"
"I never said that~ He did have my King fall for him~"
"Stop, you're just playing into his game," Gaia told the System.
"The System appreciates the warning."
"Ah, phew, ruin my fun~" Merlin stated, not the least affected by it.
"You have the brain of a 5-years-old…" Gaia muttered in dismay.
"No, he's just someone who doesn't understand humans because he's part phy," Zelretch stated.
"You people seriously are no Fun! Life needs to be taken with a laugh!" Merlin said, pouting.
"... Why do I feel like you and Taiga should never meet…" Gaia stated, with a sweatdrop.
"Please don't. There are already too many threats to Humanity continued survival." Zelretch begged with a groan.
"And now The System thinks you just gave him an idea if she ever gets magic… Should that happen The System will deny having anything to do with the thing." the system stated, almost showing emotions. "She already has powers thanks to the Kendo Sword, Tora-Shinai, thanks to her student's belief in it being cursed."
"Experimentation is the mother of science, you can't stop it!" Merlin said, smirking.
"You just want to mess with Saber, Shirou, and others," Gaia stated flatly at the man.
"I mean, yes. But it is also about science and magic! … In a small part."
Gaia looked at the System. "Can you smack him for me…?"
"With pleasure…" the Thing answered, turning hand-shaped and huge and slamming Merlin down hard.
"... Ow…" was his only response, not even looking then got up, dusting his robs off, his smirk still on his face.
"Adding spikes to slap…"
"Okay, that's a bit much…" Gaia stated flatly.
"While pummeling Merlin is always fun to see, shouldn't we start working on resurrecting our guy and then turn Shirou's life upside-down?" Zelretch asked.
"Ah, right, we need to get Kiritsugu's soul back from the Root and get him his new body," Gaia stated. "We also need to have Shirou activate his circuits properly…"
Merlin nodded, getting serious." Right. System, you have the item on hand for the new body? Zelretch can obtain his blood."
"The System will retrieve the plant… Collecting the seed… Cultivating… Growing… Delivery in 3… 2… 1…"
BOOM!
"The plant is pretty big…" Gaia said while looking all the way up at the enormous thing.
"... Bigger than the tanks of the Einzbern's tanks for homunculus," Merlin stated. "Can they grow in the Reverse World?"
"The plant is parasitic in nature. Containment would be up to you, The System is not taking blame for it devouring every life form in there to create more spores to reproduce. But yes, it can grow there."
"Wait, this is a parasitic plant!?" Gaia shouted at the System. "What are you thinking, bringing that here then!?"
"Aren't you Gods and Magic Users? The System found the plant being the most time-effective method. Until no blood or flesh is supplied, the plant is dormant."
Gaia let out a sigh. "Okay. Just please be careful. I just shouted because I'm the protector of the Earth…"
"Be at ease! I, the Great Merlin, will make a splendid job! Ha ah!" the mage said, smugly.
The glare for Gaia shut him up.
"I think I might know when we can give Shirou his powers," Zelretch stated. "And how we can acquire Kiritsugu's soul."
"What's left to do? Asked Gaia.
"Tell you when and where to start~ I say, right when Kiritsugu the day after is when he should gain his new powers~" Zelretch stated. "What better start than when he was inspired to be a hero of justice~?"
"This is why I believe me and you will work well together, Zelretch." Gaia answered, pleased.
"What about me~?" Merlin asked. "I did teach the King of Knights herself~"
"Keep it in your trousers and we'll see…"
"So what are your thoughts on the matter, System?" Zelretch asked the System.
"There are good chances that your plans and the System's will end in a success, but it must be remembered that we all are running on a very delicate balance. Caution and planning are a must." the thing answered.
"That's why I'm here~" Merlin said with his smirk. "I can use my powers to go for the best outcome~"
"One that doesn't end with you bedding Gaia as well, perhaps?" The System asked, and Gaia added to it a glare promising untold amounts of agony.
"... FINE!" Melin conceded. "Shirou'll just work his charms on her anyways~ He does have the Harem EX skill~ He can claim her~"
"I am smiting him. I am going to smite him out of existence." Gaia hissed,
"Please let's be calm…?" Zelretch asked.
"Remember Gaia, he only does this so he knows he is in control and for his fun," the System reminded her of what she told them.
"Doesn't mean I can't hate it!"
"Of course. The System's offer for castration is always valid. Just give the order."
"I can't be hurt because I'm in Avalon, and I feel you don't want me out of my prison~" Merlin stated, his smug smile not leaving.
"There are multiple ways to inflict pain, some worse than physical. Like listing all the sordid things Gaia likes to do when intimate but that she will NEVER do with you."
Merlin shut up hearing that. "You wouldn't…"
"Kink number 17…."
"I AM NOT LISTENING! LALALALALALALALA!"
"Okay, as much fun as Merlin freaking out is, I suggest we move forward, or we'll be here all the next few millennia," Zelretch stated.
"The plant is ready, once supplied it the blood it will start growing the new body, once deemed old enough the homunculus will need to be cut free and infused with the soul… Then we will start on Shirou's journey."
Zelretch pulled out a vial of Kiritsugu's blood. "Already got it~ Got it while you three were bickering like children~"
"Okay, so the rebirth thing is all but done. Let's go check on Shirous to start with him as well, better safe than sorry." Gaia answered.
"Wait, did the System grab his soul?" Merlin asked.
"The System already has. Its crystalized form is already in Gaia's possession. Among you three she is the most trustworthy." the Thing answered.
"Does he know he's here?" Zelretch asked.
"HEEEEEEEEEELP!" a faint echo shrieked from a crystal in Gaia's hands.
"It does, is it a problem? You did not ask for the System to not have him be conscious."
"Uh, Kiritsugu Emiya…?" Gaia asked the crystal. "Can you hear me?"
"Heeelp! Get me out of here! It's dark, cold and tight! Heelp! I can't feel anything! Where am I? Who are you?! WHY AM I HERE?!"
"Please calm down," Gaia tried to comfort the man. "I can explain everything. I am Gaia."
"Okay? Nice to meet you. Can I get out now? Please? I can't feel or see anything."
"Well, I can't, you see I grabbed your soul right when you passed away, so you're in a soul crystal right now. We are making you a newer and stronger body so you can help your son later on," Gaia explained. "I'll be helping him as well."
"Shirou-chan?... Is he okay? Is he healthy?"
"Calm down, you just passed when I grabbed you, you weren't gone for too long," Gaia stated. "While your body is growing, do you want to watch what your son will be doing to make your world better?"
"I can? And can help him?... What do you want in exchange?"
"Wow, he just met us and already doesn't trust us, must be a record." Merlin admitted, impressed.
"Well he was the Magi's killer," Zelretch reminded him.
"Wait a minute, Zelretch!?" Kiritsugu shouted in shock, seeing the Magi of the second magic. "Why are you here!?"
"I was invited?"
"Genius answer…" System muttered.
"The hell are you…?"
"The System."
"...And?"
"The full disclosure is beyond your mind comprehension. You will go insane."
"Imagine a Lovecraftian Horror, only with a fixation for cooking." Merlin added.
"... So my son has the world and a Lovecrftain wanting him… why…?" Kiritsugu asked, wanting to know if he needed to protect his son.
"Your Son, just like many in a similar situation, are a Fate Lynchpin, they are basically what makes sure Fate can run properly. Only by virtue of existing."
"And that means that if a big change is necessary, said Lynchpin is the first that is called to act." Zelretch added.
"Shirou is, but I tried not to let him live the life I did," Kiritsugu stated. "Why him?"
"Why not him?" The System asked back.
"He's just a kid that got caught up in my mess, he should live a normal life.'
"The Call for a Hero is unfortunately uncaring of that, that is why we are helping him, to help him be ready for his future duties." Gaia answered, saddened.
"His future is one of greatness, clipping his wings in fear of him getting hurt won't help him." System added,
"But rest assured he will be ready. I know you normally don't trust me, but at least in THIS, you can." Zeretch said.
Kiritsugu let out a sigh. 'Not like I can do anything stuck here in this crystal… Just… If this is his fate, can you help him get his circuits? I didn't really tell him how to properly activate them…"
"I can imagine you did not have the right occasion, you will teach him yourself then." Gaia answered.
If Kiritsugu could, he would give her a flat look. "And how, pray tell, do I do that while I'm a crystal and my new body is growing…?"
"You are a smart guy, you will figure something out." Merlin answered, smirking.
"... I can contact him through some sort of magical communication… can't I…?" he asked then, his voice flat.
"You can, with [The Gamer]," Gaia stated. "It has a function like that to talk to others through a party system."
"... And why hasn't this shown up in our world before?" Kiritsugu asked, feeling he knew the answer.
"Do you think anyone can be trusted with this power without a thorough checking of character?" Gaia asked. "Let alone my sister blocking all ways to give this to someone worthy…?"
"There is also the issue of Timeline, the proper Moment had to be chosen to interact with the Chosen One, acting to change the course of Fate is not an easy matter." System answered.
"True," both Merlin and Zeretch agreed.
"Even with my clairvoyance, things that are unexpected can crop up from time to time," Merlin stated.
"And needing for the timeline to follow, so it doesn't end in tragedy," Zeretch added. "Alaya tends to clip timelines that don't follow a path to Humanities safety."
"And for some reason, Humanity seems very eager to dive head-first into self-destruction! It's just so hard to stop humans from going extinct!" Gaia said with a dispirited tone.
"Humanity is able to make the greatest good, but also the greatest evil," Kiritsugu stated, knowing all too well himself how humanity is.
"While at the same time being smart like a fly slamming head first into a window. Or Doom in their case." Merlin added, laughing.
"Ignore the fool." Gaia begged with a groan.
"... Are we sure we need Merlin's Clairvoyance…?" Kiritsugu asked dryly.
"As much as it pains me… yes…" Gaia stated, groaning.
"The System is aware of the mentality about necessary pain, but sometimes it is not worth it." System said.
"Do you want Alaya to know what we're doing?" Merlin asked them, his smirk never leaving his face asking them.
"Should she?" Zelretch asked, unsure.
"No, we're trying not to until Shirou can change her with his cooking," Gaia reminded the Second Magic user.
"System seconds the notion. It is still too soon for any form of revelation." the strange Thing added.
"... Do I dare ask what will happen if she does…?" Kiritsugi asked, having a feeling he won't like the answer.
"She'll make him her weapon to kill those she deems a threat," Gaia answered, bluntly. "Like his Servant counterpart
"Death, despair, ruin, destruction, Doom and gloom…You name it, it will happen at least thrice in a row." Merlin answered.
"He'll even try to kill his younger counterpart to stop him," Zelretch added.
If they could see Kiritsugu's face, some of them could with their powers, they'd see him with a look of shock and horror on his face. "Tha-That can't be true…"
"It has happened already in 32,342 different timelines. We are trying to avoid it happening in this one too." System answered.
"... Where do I fit in this…?" he asked, sounding like he was in his Maga's Killer work voice.
"We want you to become one of the new Gods of this timeline," Merlin stated. "When your body is finished, we'll help you get into the timeline without fuss, but only when the time is right."
Kiritsugu let out a sigh. "Fine. But I'm not just going to just sit and watch. I want to train as well, physical and magic as well. I want to see if I can combine magic with technology."
"That is the plan," Merlin stated.
"We want you to help Shirou as well, and you yourself have an important role to fulfill, we are not helping you be reborn just because." Gaia answered.
"Alright. I can do that. If it's for Shirou and Iiliya, I will do my part. Now, can we get started before we make this discussion drag on further than it has to?"
"Agreed," the System agreed. "We must have Shirou ready to become the God of Cook of the Fate/Nasuverse."
"God of cooking sounds so…strange." Kiritsugu admitted.
"Very good stuff, let me tell you." Merlin answered. "They know how to make food that gods would cry for more. My King will love all the food he makes~"
"That sounds nice."
"It is, if we do things right Shirou and you will have a luminous future ahead." Gaia promised. She then muttered to herself, "Along with others that will be chosen…"
"So we'll start his new "game" the day after your passing," Merlin stated.
"It is the most optimal time to start. It resides between two moments of Change, thus perfect to derail the course of Fate." The System answered.
"And when Shirou's dream to be a hero of justice was born," Merlin added. "What better start than when a dream is born~?"
Gaia nodded. "Good. And if that's all-"
"I'd like to go down at times to train him," Zelretch cut in, a smile on his face. "He's going to need a… Ah! A guide to his powers~! All games have a person that helps them with the guide of the game~"
"I can do that! At least I will have an occasion to recover the lost time!"
"Father and son bonding time, that sounds nice!" Merlin said.
"... Did you forget you're a crystal right now…?" Gaia reminded Kiritsugu.
"Minor setback! It's only temporary!" the man answered, ablaze in determination.
"Remember, you can't go back until the time is right," Merlin stated.
"It will be soon, though. So you are required to be ready at the moment's notice." System added.
"So please be patient," Gaia stated. "You can't just rush into something without a plan. That's what you were good at, right? Coming up with plans~?"
Kiritsugu let out a sigh, knowing they were right. "I… just want to save my son and daughter… Doesn't any good father want that…?"
"You would be surprised to see how many turn their back to family instead. Luckily you are one of the good ones so helping you doesn't feel forced to us." Zelretch answered.
"It also assures us of the best results per time invested." System added.
"Now that that is taken care of, anything else?" Gaia asked the others. They all shook their heads, if they had one, in a no. "Good. Now can we start, or do you want to keep bickering like children you are?"
"You are very mean, Gaia. We were just sharing opinions!" Merlin said, whining.
Gaia gave him a flat look. "We've been here far too long. My sister may get suspicious soon."
"You do have a point," Merlin agreed. "Don't want her on our trail yet."
"Alright, we got our game plan then" Zelretch stated.
Gaia nodded, and handed Zelretch a book. "When you get down there, give this to Shirou, it's all the information on [The Gamer]."
"I will do just that," Zelretch stated, taking the book. The four then left to return to do their parts of the plan.
(Emiya Household: Day after Kiritsugu's death)
Shirou Emiya knew Death was part of Life, that everything sooner or later died in a way or another, but nothing could force him to even just accept it. He had a hard night sleeping after he saw his father passed away, but he would fulfill his dream of being a Hero of Justice. What he wasn't expecting when he woke up was a blue box appearing in front of him.
You have slept in a bed.
Your HP and MP have been restored.
All Status effects have been nullified.
Shirou blinked a few times, and then whipped his eyes to see if this was a trick. He then tried to use tracing to see what this was, but another box appeared. What now?!
A new skill has been created through a special action.
The skill [Observe] has been created.
Observe
LV 1
99.5% till next level
Observation allows you to learn about a person or item's information. Sense this skill is only LV 1 it tells the target's max HP, max MP, and information.
Shirou knew each person had their own way to cope, he didn't expect his own to be hallucinating so badly, though.
[Gamer's Mind] has activated.
Just then, Shiro felt himself calm down from what he thought was a panic attack. "Okay… What the hell is going on here…?" he asked himself, now able to think more clearly, even too clearly. Just then another box appeared.
Congratulations!
You have been selected by Gaia herself to be this world's wielder of The Gamer.
You can now live your life as an RPG Character.
To learn more, look at the manual that your new instructor will give you shortly, when he arrives.
Shirou's eyes widened in shock. Gaia!? Thee Gaia!? The one who tried to dissolve magic gave him this!? Why!? "Th-This has to be some kind of trick, right?" Shirou asked himself, not sure if he was going mad.
"I can tell you with absolute certainty, that this is no trick," a new voice rang in, making the boy turn to look and see an older looking man. Shirou thought he knew this man from somewhere. "Greetings new hero, I am your new teacher, Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, at your service~!"
Shirou thought he heard his father talking about him once or twice, but wasn't sure. He got out of bed, and put up a fighting stance, not a good one, but it had to do. "Who are you!? How did you get in here!?"
"I can Teleport. And you can't take a fighting stance. Left arm higher, right arm lower, feet too much apart, back straight… My god, everything is wrong." Zelretch criticized the young boy. "Hand to Hand will be something to add with your other studies. I know you'll do well with swords and bows, but you need to have back up for when you can't use them."
"What are you talking about!?" Shirou shouted, looking angry and ready to fight.
[Gamer's Mind] has activated.
Shirou took a few deep breaths. Whatever was going on, this… power seemed to be helping him.
"Ah, yes. You see Gaia herself has tasked me to help you with a colleague of hers to help you become the newest god of your world; The God of Cooking~" Zelretch informed him.
Shiro gave a flat look. "Yeah right… That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever-" He was interrupted by a new voice that sounded mechanical.
"This is the Gourmet System. Host Shirou has been chosen as a Candidate to become God of Cooking of the Ftae/Nasuverse. Your treating this as a joke is understandable, but you are required to still take the Test to assure your worth. This is happening for real, young man, so you are required to take this seriously."
Shirou looked around and saw no one. "Oh, I get it, this is some kind of Magi's trick to mess with my mind, isn't it?" Shirou asked. "My father warned me about this."
"It seems that young Shirou still thinks this is a dream or illusion," Zelretch stated. "System, mind giving him a jolt to tell him this isn't~?"
"Like this?" The voice asked from inside Shirou's head, and he felt a hand give a literal squeeze to his brain and a strange mass of shapes and colors briefly appeared in front of him.
Shirou held his head in pain until he felt that weird skill activate again.
[Gamer's Mind] has activated.
Shirou held his head, and could tell this was actually painful. So that meant he was awake, and this wasn't a Magi using powers on him. … He didn't know if this was better or worse.
"This is a great opportunity. And that means something is good."
"... Did they just read my thoughts…?" Shirou asked the older man.
Zelretch nodded. "They are an Elder God level entity after all, even if they are more for cooking than anything."
"... I have an Elder God talking to me… Why am I not freaking out about this…?" Shirou asked.
"That would be because of your two most powerful abilities thanks to your new [Gamer] powers," Zelretch informed. He then summoned a giant book. "This book holds all the information about your new gift you have been given."
Shirou was hisdent for a moment, but took the book. When he did, a box appeared in front of it, reading;
This is the special book,
[The Guide to The Gamer]
Do you wish to learn this?
Y/N
"I'm guessing the Y is for yes?" Shirou asked. Zelretch, able to see it, thanks to Gaia giving him the title of [Tutorial Instructor] for his time training Shirou, nodded. Shirou went to hit the Y, but stopped, now noticing something over Zelretch's head.
?
Lv ?
Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg
"Okay… Add that to the many questions to be asked…" Shirou mumbeded to himself. He pressed the Y button. When he did, the book started to break down into motes of golden lights, and flew into him.
Congratulations!
You have now unlocked The Gamer's Guide!
You may look through the guide by saying [Guide].
Shirou's jaw dropped to the floor, in pure surprise. Zelretch was holding back his laughter, knowing this was going to alleviate his boredom.
"It just… How did… I just…" Shirou stated, not knowing how to word such a weird happening, even in the world he lived in. Just then [Gamer's Mind] activated for the fourth time that day.
[Gamer's Mind] has activated.
"Host Shirou, if you keep being surprised by every little thing breaking from your concept of normalcy, you won't go far. Can the System suggest you to just 'Roll with it' as your world's saying goes?" The System suggested.
Shirou took a deep breath to calm himself, this [Gamer's Mind] helping a lot. "Sorry… this is just… a lot to take in… Why would Gaia give me something like this, why am I chosen to be this world's God of Cooking, whatever that is, and why is, if I'm right, the man who created the Second Magic going to be my teacher?"
"It's because you're this multiver's linchpin," Zelretch stated. "Most of the time."
"I'm a what now?" Shirou asked, confused.
"You are, in essence, what keeps the Wheel of Fate working in this world. Every Instance of your Existence is fundamental for the continued existence of the inner workings of this slice of Universe. That is why even when your Life story is different, you are still a focal point of that Iteration's Fate. You are a fixed point in a sea of variables."
"... Why me? I'm just a third rate Magis…" Shirou stated. He couldn't be that import, could he? "I'm just an orphan that has no memories of who they were before the fire. Am I really this linchpin you call it?"
"Eeh! Personal skills or background have nothing to do with this. It's a matter of spirit, soul, heart and quirks of Fate itself. You are a Chosen, that is all that matters." Zelretch answered, shrugging.
Shirou sighs, but looks at Zelretch , and asks the two, "If I do this, can I be a Hero of Justice, like my father once wanted to be?"
"I can't see why not," Zelretch shrugged.
"My duty as The Gourmet System is to make you the God of Cooking of the Fate/Nasuverse, if in the meantime you also want to be a Hero of Justice, The System will help. If this won't go in contradiction with your training as God of Cooking."
Shirou nodded. He then gave a sheepish smile, "So… What do we do first…?"
"Well you should start by going over some of the features of [The Gamer]," Zelretch stated. "You need to learn the basics of it~"
Just then, a new box appeared in front of Shirou, this one is different.
Quest Alert
A Beginner's Guide
You have just been chosen by Gaia to become the newest [Gamer],
Look through the guide to learn more about your new powers.
Reward:
100 EXP.
1,000 Yen
Fail Penalty:
Keep getting notified by [The Gamer] and others
Y/N
"Penalty?!" Shirous shouted.
"Exactly! As an extra push to give your best!" Zelretch answeed, laughing.
"... Why do I feel like later on, those [Fail Penalties] will get worse and worse later on…?" Shirou asked, mostly to himself, and pressed the Y button. When he did, a new box appeared.
Please call out [Guide]
"Uh, [Guide]," Shirou called out. Just then a new bow appeared with this on them.
[Introduction]
[Stats]
[Attributes and AP]
[Items and Inventory]
[Abilities]
[Equipment]
[Levels]
[Titles]
[Party]
[Perks and Flaws]
[Status Effects]
[Reputation]
"Uh…neat," Shirou stated, unsure what else to say.
"'Neat,' he says. Youngsters these days!" Zelretch said, mostly in jest.
"Hey… I'm still trying to get used to all this…" Shirou pouted to the old man.
"You'll have to hurry-up, things will get hectic fast."
"... Do I dare ask…?" Shirou asked, not sure if he'd like this or not.
"It will be a surprise," Zelretch answered with a wink.
Shirou took it in stride, and pressed the fist option.
[Hello, and welcome the newest Gamer of the Multiverse. If you are seeing and reading this, Gaia has selected you to be her champion.]
"Hurray?"
"Bit more emotion, perhaps?" Zel said, rolling his eyes.
Shirou gave him a flat look. "I'm focusing… I want to make sure I get this all…"
"Okay, I can accept that."
Shireou went back to reading.
[[The Gamer] is a powerful ability, only given to those Gaia deems worthy in her eyes. Across the known multiple parallel universes, realities and worlds, only a select few people are deemed worthy of accessing this power.]
"What is the catch? Chosen Ones always have a big one hanging above them." Shirou asked with narrowed eyes.
[There is no catch, but obligatory impressive speech, over. Now we get to the real matter of your powers.]
[[The Gamer] has the ability to turn repeated actions into [Skills]. It doesn't matter what you can do; be it fire lasers, swing swords, shooting a bow and arrow fly or whatever else. Anything can be turned into [Skills]… even something as mundane as washing the dishes.]
"Washing the dishes… Please tell me if that means finishing sooner…?"
"That is the first question that came to your mind?" Zelretch muttered.
"Hey… Do you know how hard it is to get most stains out of dishes…?" Shirou asked flatly. "I need them to be clean so I don't cross-contaminate the food."
"... You know what? Whatever. Whatever makes you happy…" Zelretch answered, throwing up his arms in defeat. "The kid has one of the most powerful magical powers in the multiverse, right next to the Keyblade, and he looks at the most mundane skills there are… not the ones for fighting and what not…"
"The System believes the host has the right mindset," the system stated to the boy.
"Of course. The Food-Obsessed Eldritch Abomination of course appreciates that… I give up."
"Your job is to teach the host how to use this power, not what you want the host to learn," the System reminded.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever."
Shirou gave a flat look to them. "Can I get back to reading…?.
"Go on." both answered.
He did just that.
[Almost uniformly, all aspects of 'The Gamer' are invoked verbally, as you have no doubt surmised by now. You have several pages with information and abilities that you can invoke merely by saying the name of the page you want.]
[First off; the [Status] Page. This displays several things; your Stats and Perks, your current Level and your current HP and MP/SP/MP, as well as your [Flaws], [Special Status], [Attributes and AP], [Inventory] and currently equipped equipment.]
[Next up is the [Skills] page. This displays all the skills you have learned, as well as their current level, a small description of what they do and their effects they have.]
[The [Inventory] can be called on separately as it's own page, so you can store items you have collected and auto-equip armor and weapons.]
[The [Perks] page shows you your current Perks and their effects they have on people.]
[The [Flaws] page shows you all of the current flaws that you have, and others, as well as their effects, negative and/or otherwise.]
[The [Quests] page shows you all the quests you are currently undergoing, as well as looking back at the quests you have completed in the past.]
[The [Status Effects] page allows you to see all the buffs and debuffs that have happened to you or others and how to counteract them if need be.]
[And finally; there's the [Reputation] page that shows you your standing with various people, Groups, Clans, Cities, Nations and Other Worlds.]
"Keep track of that one, trust me. Bad Reputation is a pain in the ass." Zelretch said.
"Gee… I wonder why…?" Shirou stated dryly. If this kept up, Taiga would be here before he finished, and didn't need her asking questions that he couldn't answer.
"Just keep reading, smartass."
"Not so fun when you're on the receiving end, is it?" the System asked Zelretch.
Shirou kept up his reading.
[There is one final piece to inform you about, [Gamer].]
[Every single person who receives the power of [The Gamer] has had one of three reactions.]
[Road 1; Some choose to try and ignore their power and carry on with their lives as they did before they were granted said power. True me, that never turns out well.]
[Road 2; Some become a force for [Good] or [Evil] using this power. The majority of people who receive this power take this route, although not many survive taking the [Evil] route for some reason… I wonder why…?]
Road 3: The final route people choose to go is that of the original and first wielder of this ability: survival.]
[Regardless of which path you choose to walk on your new journey, life as you once knew it is gone, never to return. Although, being a Magis didn't give your life normalcy to begin with.]
"I was aware that as a Magis a Normal Life was only a dream for me. No need to remind me so brutally." Shirou answered.
"It does love mocking snide jokes at times," Zelretch stated.
"I noticed."
[Now, this concludes the introduction. Kindly read the rest of the Guide for more detailed information on all that has been mentioned previously. More information will be added as you discover more aspects of your [Gamer] ability.]
[All that is left is for me to wish you good luck as the newest chosen [Gamer] of your world.]
[-The Game Master and Original Gamer]
[Han Jihan]
"Wait, this was written by the First [Gamer]!?" Shirou asked in shock.
"They had to learn from zero, so they decided to leave behind a guide of sorts to help other Chosen Ones. Just in case. They had a lot of troubles, so I guess he wanted others to avoid the same fate."
".. Huh… That was kind of them," Shriou stated. Just then a new box appeared.
Quest Complete
The Quest "A Beginner's Guide" has been completed.
Reward:
100 EXP.
1,000 Yen
"Oh! Okay, the money prize is real, that's a nice bonus…What now?"
"Well you can look at the other ones, or go make breakfast," Zelretch proposed.
"You want free food, don't you?"
"You have to pay me for my lessons, food sounded like a good idea."
"Fine, follow me. Kitchen is this way…"
"Nice! I was just getting peckish!"
"You'll also need to improve your cooking abilities as well," the System stated.
"And I guess you have an idea how to?"
"A training regimen, to be precise."
"I just have one issue," Shirou started, "how do I explain why you're here to Tiga?"
"I was sent a notice from your father about him not having long to live, and asked me to come and help you with what you need," Zelretch answered with ease.
"From what soap-opera did you steal that? Please don't use my father's death as an excuse."
"Well… he did actually after we put his soul in a crystal while his new body is being formed."
"Wait what!?" Shirou asked in shock.
"We are growing your father a new body to resurrect him, Host. in the meantime he will be stored inside a crystal." System answered.
"... So shouldn't you say while he's recovering at a hospital out of town?" Shirou asked. "How'd we explain how he comes back to life if he was dead, without it seeming like he became a dead apostle."
"He obviously faked his death! So to avoid enemies attacking him while he recovers! Let's make it SPICY!"
"...You obviously watch too many dramas…"
"And Taiga isn't part of the moonlite world," Shirou added. "We can't let her know about it."
"If Merlin has his way, she will be…" Zelretch muttered lowly to himself so Shirou wouldn't hear.
"What was that?" Shirou asked, missing it.
"NOTHING! Let's get inside! Food won't cook itself!" the guy answered immediately.
Shirou grumbled a bit, but followed. He was a bit behind and Taiga would moan about there not being food.
(Emiya Household: Few minute later)
Outside of the Emiya estate walking up a dirty blond hair woman. This was Taiga Fujimura, friend of the Emiyas. She came by to greet them and score her meal for the day.
"Shirou! You there! I am hungry! Feed me!"
Just then, the door opened to show Zelretch. "Ah, you must be Ms. Fujimora. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"... And who are you instead?"
"Ah, yes, where are my manners? My name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. It's a pleasure to meet you~ I'm Shirou's new home tutor."
"Home tutor? Since when Shirou has or even needs one?" Taiga asked with narrowed eyes.
"Since my friend Kiritsugu Emiya had to leave town to get proper medical treatment," he answered. "He wanted me to help him with skills outside the classroom while he was on leave for treatment."
"Oh! I thought he was… you know… Dead?"
"He was on death's door, but was able to get him the help," Zelretch stated. "He sent a note a few days before he would pass, that way I could come by and send him off to get help. He also asked in the letter to teach his son."
"As long as he is okay. You said you are teaching Shirou stuff outside school, what do you mean?"
"A few things, Different languages from the world, in case he need to travel, hand to hand combat, he's a kid so he'll need to defend himself, different ways of cooking meals from around the globe, histories of heroic figures and legends, and edicate of different areas of the world," he answered. "More will be added on later, but just those for now.
"Sounds like you choose at random what to teach him,"
"I am plunging some big holes the subpar education system of Japan left behind, I am just acting with his best interest at heart as a favor for his daddy." Zelretch answered with a shrug.
Taiga gave him a flat look. "... Riiiiight…"
"Anyways, shall we go in, Shirou has breakfast made, he's trying a new dish," Zelretch informed.
"Uuuh! Free breakfast! My favorite!"
"You're too easy to please~" he teased the tiger.
"Not always."
"Only when Shirou is involved then?"
"Abandon that train of thought or die a billion deaths at once!" she roared, having her Tora-Shinai pointed at him.
"Jeez… Super Tsundere much?"
She just grumbled, walking past the old man.
"... Please make yourself at home… Seriously, were you not taught manners?"
"Yeah, yeah. Where's the food?"
Zelretch pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why is it always food…" he muttered to himself lowly. "First Gaia's friend, then Shirou, now this tiger…?"
Tora-Shinai was pointed at his face again. "What did you call me…?" she asked in a low growl.
"I called you Taiga," he answered quickly.
"WHY YOU…"
"Although, you are a bit on the small side to be a tig-"
BWHAM!
The Bamboo Sword that nailed Zelretch dick still felt obscenely heavy on impact, enough to have the man's testicles almost plop out of his ears. He also felt the curse of her weapon curse his magic to falter a bit as well.
"Gods and Goddesses of the Aether! That hurts…." he whimpered, falling to his knees, and he could heal fast enough that's to the damn sword's properties. He then thought, 'Damn those students of her's and making that bamboo sword of her's like this… Oh, fuck, peeing will be a nightmare.'
"Don't be a wuss." the small tiger answered, huffing.
Zelretch glared at her. "It won't be funny if it happens to you, the whole thing where this doesn't hurt women, that's a lie. It's more painful for them because of more nerves…" (A/N 1)
"Unlikel-"
BWHAM!
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON ROLLERBLADES!" the girl shrieked in agony as she too fell on her knees.
"Told you."
It was at this time Shirou walked out hearing the commotion. "What's going on?"
"Just knowing each other, Shirou-boy." Zel answered, the curse lifting and healing himself fully.
"And I discovered forms of pain I thought were just a myth…" the girl answered.
"Do you still want to eat?" Shirou asked her. "I could distract you from the pain.
"Yes, please… Oh God…" both answered, walking bowlegged behind him inside the dining room.
Shirou then walked back into the kitchen and came back out with Omurice. While he was cooking, he had gotten a notification.
A new skill has been created through a special action.
The skill [Cooking] has been created.
Cooking
LV 10
55.6% till next level
The art of cooking has been around since man created fire. Throughout the centuries, people have been improving and innovating new ways to cook and prepare meals. Do you think you have what it takes to be a great cook?
"Oh! Okay, I already started grinding the cooking skill. Fair enough." Shirou muttered to himself.
"Some skills will have already been made, Host just needs to train and use them to unlock them in [The Gamers] skill panel," the System informed him in his head.
"Very grinding sounding, okay. I can do this," Shirou stated, determination in his eyes.
"You have a good mindset, host," the System stated.
"It's not a mindset… it's a Grindset."
"... That joke was bad, Host… very bad."
Taiga's mouth was watering from the aroma of the food. "What did you make Shirou?" she asked him. Her earlier pain was gone.
"Tried my hand at omurice, and it came out pretty good." Shirou informed her. "I'm thinking of making hamburgers for lunch, with homemade fries."
"Hahaha! Music to my ears! You are taking this in stride! That's good!" Zelretch answered, pleased.
Taiga clapped her hands. "Thank you for the food~!" She then took her plate and took a bite.
Oh so fluffy! The egg was hugging her palate so well while the rice under it had a delicate taste that felt like a dream, something with a taste not normally found in such a common dish!
"Oh, yeeees! This is the stuff! I am going to move in if you cook like this on a regular basis! I don't know what you did, but just keep doing it because it's working!" Taiga said, her face practically frozen in a giant smile of bliss.
Zelretch was eating, having a happy smile on his face. "I have a friend who's sending in top tear produse for Shirou to learn to cook with. The results speak for themselves, do they not~?"
"That they do!"
"I am glad you like it," Shirou said with a pleased smile. "There's more if you want seconds," Shirou stated, sitting and taking a bite out of his own dish. "I can tell the difference already. This is good."
"Don't get cocky now. I know you can get better!" Taiga said.
"You say that just so you can Taste Test more food for free." Shirou said.
"That too, but mostly because a real Man always pushes forward!"
Shirou laughed and nodded. "True. This was just a test run to see how good it would turn out."
"There are some good bases, yes, at least you are not starting from zero." Zelretch answered.
"Someone had to cook, and dad wasn't that good…" Shirou stated.
"Yes, he always ordered takeout most of the time," Taiga agreed.
"Ouch! That's bad."
"He burnt everything he made…" the two stated flatly. "He nearly burnt the place down…"
"Aah! It was a matter of survival then! Hahahaha!" Zelretch laughed, until he was hit over the head by Tora-Shinai by Taiga. He groaned, grabbing his head in pain.
"It's not funny!" the two shouted at the old man.
"You'll never find a husband with that attitude, young lady! I see dozens of cats in your future!" He was promptly hit over the head again for that comment.
"No fighting at the table, please." Shirou asked.
"He started it…" Taiga stated, pouting.
"No! She did!" Zel answered.
"Please act your age, you two." Shirou begged.
"Too boring, " they both stated. "You need to enjoy life."
"..." the young man answered with just a long sigh.
"Little things aside. We will help you clean now. Then I think you and this young miss have some business together? I'll watch over the house if you need." Zelretch said.
"Huh?" Shirou asked, looking confused.
"Business?" Taiga said.
"You came here for a reason, yes? Or just to eat for free?" Zelretch tried asking.
"I just came to check up on Shirou," she stated, actually getting serious. "I thought I heard his father passed away, but I'm glad to know he's healing."
"Taiga…" Shirou siad with a touched expression.
"Don't read too much into this, moron."
"..."
"What?"
"Nothing, I am just waiting for the opening credits to roll, because any more cliche and this will turn into a rom-com between a normal boy and a Tsunder-"
WHAM!
"FUCKING BUDDHA ON A SEGWAY! THE SECOND TIME HURTS EVEN MORE!" Zelretch shrieked at the second hit from the bamboo sword. The damn curse applied again.
"You deserved that…" Shirou stated dryly. He then muttered, "Now I see why you both were kneeling on the porch."
"Why are you siding with her, my student?" he asked, looking hurt.
"He knows what's best for him." Taiga said, smirking.
"And also, I just have this feeling like it's karma for some," Shirou stated.
"Karma."
"But it hurt you…so it also doubles as Harm-a."
"Ha-ha…Smartass." Zelretch answered with a fake laugh.
"Since when did you like puns Shirou?" Taiga questioned.
"Sorry?"
"Don't be sorry, Moron! It's a good thing! Good grief… What do I have to do with you…?" Taiga asked, letting out a sigh. "It just came out of the blue, that's all."
Shirou shrugs. "Guess I just felt like doing them."
"Fair enough. So?"
"So?"
"You have a guest, and a pretty young girl at that, how will you entertain me?" Taiga asked.
Shirou gave her a flat look. "You can do that on your own without my help…"
"WHERE IS YOUR CHIVALRY?! I AM A PURE, INNOCENT MAIDEN! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PAMPER ME!"
"... I say you will have six cats at the very least." Zelrecth said.
"SHUT UP!" she barked, pointing her weapon at him again.
"Okay, we can train together a bit… Then what? I am open to suggestions." Shirou answered.
"Doesn't she have paperwork to do?" Zelrecth asked. "I thought she was a teacher?"
"... You had to remind me of that, didn't you?" she hissed.
"Unless you can help him in swordsmanship and archery?" he questioned the tiger.
"THAT I CAN DO!" she answered.
"Just to avoid working…" Shirou muttered.
Taiga felt like she was hit by an arrow in the heart from his comment. "Shirou… You're a kid, you need to enjoy life while you can…"
"I am, but I am also not forgetting my duties," he shot back.
"Unlike you," Zelretch added.
Taiga pouted at the two. "Well maybe I want people to stop being too serious all the time… And kids thinking they are mature for their age…?"
"By acting immature yourself?"
"Do you want a third hit?!" she growled at him. "But, yeah, I may be the happy-go-lucky woman that's a badass, but I want to be happy and live life to the fullest, my way. People tend to just go through life acting mature, but they know they hate it, but feel like they have no other choice than to follow the "social normalcy" and those who don't are shunned as the abnormal ones."
"... Okay, that sounded very impressive. A very nice speech." Zelretch admitted.
Shirou blinked. "Wow Taiga, I didn't know you felt that way?"
"What, you thought I was the comic relief or something?" she asked them. "I'm not a one dimensional character in a series you know."
"I know, that's why I think you are cool, in your own special way." Shirou said, smiling at her.
Taiga laughed, and ruffled his hair. "Well that's what a big sis does~ Look cool for the little sibling~" Shirou pouted, but didn't swat her hand away.
"I am not a kid, though… Please stop…" Shirou begged, embarrassed.
"You still are, so don't think otherwise, got it," she stated. "Don't go growing up too fast, or you'll miss the things right in front of you."
"You are not old yourself, woman. You are not 380 years old. You are still plenty young." Zelretch said, rolling his eyes.
"Did you compliment me?"
"I blame the pain from my testicles."
"But I want to be a hero of justice fast," Shirou stated, but got a whack on the head by Taiga.
"Yes, but you shouldn't rush things, or just jump in, head first without thinking, unless your luck is incredibly high," Taiga chastised him.
"Exactly! There is a thin line between Bravery and Stupidity. And overestimating your own abilities makes you fall in the latter category." Zel added.
"You need discipline with heroism," Taiga stated, trying to sound wise.
"This coming from the woman who attacks first and asks questions later~?" Zelretch teased.
"Yes."
"I… I mean… Wha?"
"Oh, so easy to throw you for a loop! Ah-ha!" Zelretch laughed, but stopped when she pointed her weapon at the man again.
"I'm sorry, what was that~?" she asked in a dangerously sweet tone of voice.
"I have put a shield around my testicles, you witch! You can't hurt m-"
BONK!
"Fuuuck!" the man shrieked while holding his head. He forgot about the curse again.
"You never learn, uh? Old man?"
"I am not old! I am just 76! I am still in my Springtime of youth!"
"YOU ARE 76?! HOW?! You look 50 at best!"
"Push-ups, sit-downs and plenty of juice! Ah, and a cup of warm milk before bed!"
"..."
BONK!
"FUUUUCK!" he shouted, holding his head in pain this time. "You trying to give me brain damage you crazy woman!?"
"You need a brain for that, moron. Not a bubble of hot air filling your skull."
Shirou was trying to hold back his laughter, he was still a kid, no matter what he told others. He knew life wasn't going to be normal, but he might just enjoy the ride. Who knows, he might achieve his and father's dream, one recipe at a time.
(Meanwhile: Rift in Time and Space)
A giant plant was growing alone in an empty room, the stalk itself bigger than a skyscraper and tall enough to dwarf even a mountain, at the moment though the thing was slightly bending down in a steep curve under the weight of the solitary bright red fruit hanging from it.
"The growth is following the schedule. Soon the new body will be ready." The System said while keeping track of the fruit's growth.
Releasing a soft sound similar to a heartbeat, the fruit kept steadily growing, and if one looked at it from up close, they could see a faint shadow inside faintly similar to a human baby that was getting older at an incredible rate, almost visible to the naked eye.
Next to it, the crystal that had Kiritsugu Emiya's soul had one thought. 'I'll be home soon you two, just wait. I will save you both.'
To be continued…
And that's the first chapter. What do you think, Joy?
Joy: I love writing first chapters, it's the moment ideas flow the best, and with a story like this, I am eager to see where and how the plot will evolve towards! It's a good premise! XD
Hey, I've wanted to do a Fate/Gamer crossover, but could never find a way to get the idea across, until I read your story. So he has two godly systems helping him~
Joy: Awww! Thank you for the praise! I love writing Crossovers, so I am always happy to help mixing different stuff together! It's fun! :D
Glad to make you happy. Have you read the comic yet? I really enjoy it.
Joy: Just started, I admit that while a bit stiff in artstyle, everything else looks damn good! I am liking it so far!
It was like that at the start, it gets better over time. Anyways, do you have anything else you want to add?
Joy: Only that we are happy to see you get all the way here and enjoy the story. We will do our best to keep you entertained and create a cool story! Thanks for reading!
Yeah, and we hope to get the second chapter started soon. What will this new Shirou do? How will things change? Also, could you spot the reference to another Fate story that was in here?
Joy: Since we are derailing the story quite a lot, I say MANY things will change, besides Rin's split hair increasing, I fear bad and good guys will get aneurysms by the dozen whenever Shirou will get entangled in their messes… Sucks to be them, lol.
This is Shirou, this happens all the time with him, we just cranked the nob up to eleven and broke it off…
Joy: Exactly. That's what makes it fun, we supercharged it until the gauge exploded, just the way I like!
I did get good ideas from some people about Omakes for the story. They were on the reaction one. You should check them out so we can come up with ideas to make them~
Joy: I'll give it a look, a good omake is always a nice addition.
True, I'll just say this much; Ruler Class Servant, Chef Shirou Emiya~
Joy: UUUUUH! That sounds HYPE! :D
Just seems to fit with our version~ Anyways, We hoped you enjoyed the story, and check out mine and Joy's pages to read our other stories. And if you want, leave ideas for Omakes for us in the comments.
Joy: And if you did, remember to leave a Kudos and subscribe to the story and, if you have a spare minute, check out our other stories, you might be surprised and find more stories you like! (fingers crossed!).
Please do in my AO3, my other stories need reading there and commentary. Anyways, we hoped you enjoyed and see you all next time.
Joy: Byeeeeeeee! Please love our stories, we need the emotional wanking it provides!
(Roles eyes) Yeah, yeah, see you all next time.
Please R&R
(A/N 1) This is actually true.
Links to my Co-Writer's pages:
archiveofourown users / JoySeeker101 / pseuds / JoySeeker101
fanfiction u / 4123328/
Fate Recast by MM007: fanfiction s / 13694393 / 1 / Fate-Recast