Chapter 4: Love was Fairytale and Trouble was Made Only

Someone was laughing. It wasn't a cheerful sound like laughter should be. It was evil and deranged and possessed such a triumphant tone.

She was lying on something cool. The room that held her whizzed and buzzed and beeped such strange noises. They hurt her ears. She moaned. It was the only noise her throat could manage. She tried to move but her limbs were just too heavy. Her body, however, shivered involuntarily because of the continuing laughter.

Her head ached. Her whole body ached. Everything felt so stiff. Her lungs stung every time she took a breath. She was so cold too. A warm hand took a tight hold of her wrist. "I fixed you…" a voice whispered. She recognized it.

Billy? Billy, is…is that you? Penny wanted to yell but she made no sound. Why? Why was everything so difficult? She could hardly even think. What had happened? How did she get here? Where was here? What was making all of those awful mechanical noises?

Penny tried desperately to recall something, anything, preferably the last thing she could. She was at the ceremony, the one for the homeless shelter. Captain Hammer was there. He was making a speech, a terrible one. Penny was embarrassed. She wanted to leave. She tried to sneak out but something happened. Captain Hammer was frozen. He was frozen because…because…Dr. Horrible was there.

Penny whimpered. The hand clasping her wrist squeezed tighter, but the last thing she wanted was to be touched.

Dr. Horrible had a gun and it fired or exploded or something and she…she got hit. She remembered getting hit, and Dr. Horrible he was…he looked so familiar. But then Billy was there! Billy Buddy was scared of something; she could clearly see his face in her mind. He was terrified. She wanted to protect him. She was cold. Her body felt numb. Penny wanted Captain Hammer to save her Billy Buddy from the villain in the room. She doesn't remember anything else. Oh God, what happened? What happened to Billy? She needed to see him.

Penny wanted to open her eyes, she tried to open her eyes but they weren't working.

"Penny?" Billy whispered, "Penny? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes shot open. The room was blurry. Objects were spinning. It was so hard to focus. Black and gray machines towered over her, dancing the way things dance when you can't really see them properly. Things were sparking. Little lights on the machines glowed an array of colors. Tubes and wires surrounded her. One was close. Penny lifted her arm, slightly, and she felt the needle under her skin tug the nearest tube. It was attached to her. They were all attached to her. She wanted scream. Her whole body shook with fear. What was this place?!

"Penny, calm down," Billy sounded so hurt.

He pressed another hot hand to her arm—she was freezing—but she swatted it away. Penny's vision finally focused. It wasn't Billy's arm. It was Dr. Horrible's. He was there. He was standing over her alongside the ugly machines in his red lab coat and frightening, inhuman, goggles hiding his eyes.

He retreated, his back slamming against one of his tall machines. It trembled.

"Penny? Please, it's me, it's Billy!"

The doctor spoke with Billy's voice, causing Penny's mind to be assaulted with a memory she wished she could forget: No sign of Penny, good I would give anything not to have her see, Dr. Horrible sang at the ceremony, it's gonna be bloody, head up Billy Buddy—

Billy Buddy. Her heart broke. That was her Billy Buddy? Dr. Horrible? But…why? Billy and she were friends. Why would he do something like that? He would never ruin Penny's ceremony. He knew how much it meant to her, and Billy would never ever kill somebody! No! That couldn't have been Billy. Dr. Horrible's weapon had been what hurt her. Billy would not do that. Billy was not Dr. Horrible!

The evil scientist lifted the goggles from his face. Behind them were a set of the saddest blue eyes Penny had ever seen, and she knew them well.

"Billy?" she was sobbing. Hot tears streamed down pale cheeks.

Billy turned his gaze form her in shame.

"No," she muttered, "no, no, no!"

Penny tried to lift herself off the table but she wasn't strong enough. The tubes and needle connecting them to her pinched her skin. She noticed for the first time the only thing covering her was a thing white sheet. She lifted it an inch. She was naked underneath. Wounds, some already scars, decorated her chest and abdomen. Stitches held her skin together in many places. Some of the cuts looked surgical (Penny had had her appendix removed when she was fifteen, she knew what such scars looked like). One, right on her chest, right over the spot children place their hands while saying the pledge of allegiance, was jagged, red, rough looking. Penny shivered again, remembering the shrapnel that had pierced her. How badly had she been hurt? Had she—did she—

"Billy," her voice cracked, "what have you done?"

Three Weeks, Five Days, Twenty Hours Post Incident

"Penny? Penny!"

Penny jolted upright. She had been having a bad dream, again. She didn't quite remember what it was about now that she was awake, but she could take one very accurate guess. Penny had been having the same nightmare for years. Its ability to terrify her never ceased. She hated that.

"Honey, you alright?" Holly gently asked.

"Mm hmm," Penny rubbed the sleep dust from her eyes. She had to blink several times before the waking world became clear to her.

Penny had fallen asleep in front of the computer. Its rubber ducky screen saver bounced happily within the walls of the monitor. She looked down at the keyboard. A small puddle of drool was slathered over the J, U, I, K, and L keys. Penny scratched her cheek; she felt the small indents the keyboard had made there. She sighed. Penny had almost gotten used to waking up in places she didn't remember falling asleep in.

"I made you some tea."

Penny looked up at (well, she looked more eye level) at her pint sized roommate. Holly smiled warmly, a steaming mug in one hand.

She tried to return the smile, "thanks."

Reaching for the mug Penny's elbow jostled the mouse. The bouncing rubber ducky disappeared, replaced by a still from Dr. Horrible's latest blog. The frozen image portrayed the villain mid laughter. Penny had watched the video so many times in the past few weeks she was sure she could recite the doctor's monologue word for word by now. Her cheeks grew hot as she blushed. Holly had always been understanding but Penny hadn't really wanted her to see that.

"Still mourning your celebrity crush?" the blond huffed. She grabbed a coaster and set the mug on the desk, then proceeded to check her watch.

"No!" Penny hastily closed the window, "it's not like that. I—"

Penny had never told Holly the whole truth about her past. She was always thankful that the woman had never asked. Holly knew nothing of Penny's encounters with Dr. Horrible or Captain Hammer or Penny's …death. She had mentioned a little about Billy, mostly on days when the scent of fabric softener was strong in the air, but never enough.

Holly was observant, however, and caught on to Penny's avid following of Dr. Horrible's blog as quickly as Penny had herself (the video entitled "My Birthday" had a tendency to pull at the heartstrings the most). That was what Holly had boiled it down to, though: a celebrity crush. Penny never had the guts to say that watching those blogs was the only way she even had a chance of understanding the boy she used to call her friend.

"I don't know how to make you understand!" Billy shouted. He ran a frustrated hand through his blond hair. He looked as though he hadn't slept it days. His lack of sleep was her fault too, she knew it. Billy had been searching for her. The graveyard was probably the last place he thought to check.

"No! I don't want you to make me do anything," Penny was crying. She hadn't meant to start crying, but she was standing at the foot of her own grave. All she wanted was to see it. She wanted to see the place where Billy had dragged her dead body out of the ground before he had turned the clock back on her life. "That's all you want, to make the world a better place, to make people do what you tell them, to force the world into submission of your imaginary utopia!"

Billy had tried in vain to explain his reasons for choosing a life crime and supervillainry to Penny. She just didn't get it. He had done it all for her. Why couldn't she see that?

"What made you possibly think that being evil would change the world for good? That doesn't even make sense! You can't succeed like this, you won't!" she screamed, kicking at her headstone. Chunks of earth that had not quite settled after her resurrection splattered the ugly gray rock.

"Well your way wasn't doing much better, Penny!"

Billy cursed himself. He had lost control for a moment. It wasn't his intention to yell at her like that. He was just so aggravated. Why couldn't she appreciate the magnitude of what he had done for her?!

"You don't think I know that?" Penny shuddered as a fresh winter breeze blew past, "you don't think I want the world to change as much as you do? I'm realistic. I don't treat my life's dream like a comic book," Billy flinched, "The only thing you're going to accomplish if you keep this up is hurting yourself and the ones you love!"

"I already did that," he muttered, almost low enough for Penny not to hear.

His words froze her more than the coldest winter ever could. Did he just confess that he was in love with her? Oh no. Oh, she couldn't handle that. Not right now. That look in his eyes, that sad yet hopeful look in those eyes that refused to look at her, only confirmed it. It brought back all those butterflies Penny once forced herself not to harbor for her Billy Buddy.

"N-no," she stammered, "No, Billy, no, no, no, don't say that! If—if you loved me then you would have known that I would never have wanted you to be evil. You wouldn't have tried to kill Captain Hammer."

His eyes rolled, Billy growled, "You hate me."

Penny shook her head, "I don't want to hate you, Bill Buddy."

"Right, well," Billy removed his plush sweatshirt, still avoiding Penny's gaze. He tried so hard to keep his voice emotionless, or even spiteful, if some emotion had to get mixed in there, "it's just as well then. I can't see you anymore."

She hugged herself. Penny's heart—having formerly been lodged in her throat— plummeted to the very pit of her stomach.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Trust me, it's for your own protection that I—" he swallowed, "I never see you again. If Bad Horse—"

"The Thoroughbred of Sin?!" Penny cried out, "You work for the Thoroughbred of Sin? Billy, please don't choose Bad Horse over me!"

Her words stung him. He squirmed like a bee had been crawling up his shirt. Billy shook the feeling as quick as he could. He moved forward, feeling the tiniest bit lucky when Penny didn't take a step back. He swung his sweatshirt around, draping it carefully over her cold shoulders.

"It's going to kill you, this job," she spoke directly into his eyes; "If you don't stop I swear it is."

Billy ground his teeth. This closeness was too much to bear. For once, for one measly moment in his life surrounding Penny he opted for bravery. His hands, still clasping her quivering shoulders, squeezed so tightly. He leaned closer to her. Penny's cheeks were suddenly blazing. She could see his aim anticipated the impact by closing her eyes. Maybe she puckered a little too, but she'd never admit it.

Billy lightly kissed the tip of her reddened nose, slid a hand under her chin where he paused for only a moment before letting her go completely.

"Then it's better if you're not around to see that happen."

Holly placed a hand on Penny's shoulder. It was obvious the younger girl was struggling to form the words that would explain her interest in the late Dr. Horrible. "Ringo," Holly loved using pet-names for Penny, "you need some sleep. Some real sleep," she clarified, eyeing the misused keyboard/pillow.

Penny nodded. Holly wasn't pressing the issue. That was another she had to be thankful for.

A tissue was suddenly shoved up one of Penny's nostrils. She winced.

"Your nose is bleeding again," Holly plucked more tissues from the box on the windowsill, "you really need to get some good rest."

Penny held the disposable cloth to her nose. The occasional nosebleeds weren't abnormal, not since she had woken up. They were becoming more frequent though, since Billy's very public execution. The thought of it caused Penny's heart to skip a beat. That fight was the last time she had ever spoken to Billy. She never got to apologize, she never got to tell him she found his blogs, she never got to tell him she knew his intentions were good and most of all she never got to say goodbye.

"It's going to kill you…"

She hated being right.

Penny could feel the usual tears welling up on her eyes. She no longer had the energy to fight them back. Holly wrapped an arm over her shoulders, dabbing a tissue against her freckled cheek.

"It's okay," she whispered, sneaking a peak at her watch, "it'll be okay, Penny. You'll get through this. I promise you."

Dear Dr. Horrible fans. I highly recommend you all listen to the rock opera Broken Bride by the band Ludo. I've gotten a lot of ideas for Penny Lane from that album (it's my favorite CD of my favorite band). Trust me. It's good. Check 'em out, you won't regret it.