Corona

By: The Hatter Theory

Chapter 15: Imprisoned

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or the song by Shogun

She couldn't help but stare out of the window of the luxurious hotel suite. It was more than anything she'd ever imagined, more than she had any right to expect or even accept. But it had been Izayoi to arrange it, Izayoi to tell her to wait for her there. And she was waiting, had been for hours.

The city was bright below her. Not many buildings in the area reached as high as she was, and she looked down, each second making her feel more and more detached from reality.

Had she really left home? Maybe she was still with Sesshoumaru, dreaming. It didn't feel like she'd left, like she'd said those awful things to her mother.

A knock sounded at the door, startling her from her reverie. When she opened it, Izayoi was staring at her with concerned brown eyes.

"What happened, Kagome?"

"Mom found the pictures you gave me."

Izayoi became a whirlwind, forcing her to sit and picking up the phone, ordering room service and making another phone call. She didn't hear any of it, not really. The sounds were quick, rushed jabs at her consciousness when it finally began to settle on her.

She had left home. Was it running away if you were an adult? It felt like running away, she felt like some sort of delinquent out too late, waiting for her mother to come find her. But Izayoi was finishing her phone call and came to sit next to her on the plush bed, her form making it sag.

"Did she kick you out?" Izayoi asked quietly.

And the whole thing crashed down on her.

Her mother hadn't done this to her, she had done this to herself, and she admitted it plainly as tears clogged her throat. Sesshoumaru's strange attack, her need to stay with him, to help him, coming home to her mother telling her she was out of control.

She felt out of control. Now that she was away from that place, had left so abruptly, she felt like everything had shattered. Nothing was right anymore. Despite the fact that she had been the one to walk away, she felt strangely abandoned, disappointed her mother hadn't tried to follow her, disappointed that her mother hadn't even tried to call her.

Izayoi listened, pulled her close and let her cry out everything that had gone wrong. The sheer relief of letting go, of being allowed to just be, to be angry and to be afraid broke something in her, making her cry even harder as she gave in to the fear. A decade of loneliness and frustration and anger rushed out in half garbled sentences and choked gasps for breath.

And when she was nothing but a quiet sniffling mess, she realized Izayoi was running her hands over her hair, was making soothing noises she hadn't heard since she was a child.

How long had it been since she was like this with her own mother?

"It'll be okay Kagome. We'll figure it out."

We. A team.

Just as the thought finally settled on her, a knock sounded at the door again, and Izayoi gently extracted herself. Minutes later she was pulling a cart into the room and thanking whoever had brought it.

"I thought you might be hungry, I know I am. Now," She said, uncovering several trays. "What do we start with?"

"I'm sorry about all of this-"

"Don't be, Kagome. I'm glad you called. It's selfish of me," The woman murmured, bringing the cart next to the bed and sitting on it, crossing her legs like a high school student. "I haven't been allowed to be a mother, not like I want to be. I miss it. And I'm very fond of you."

"You hardly know me."

"I know enough," The woman said with a small smile. "You befriended my sons, you helped Inu Yasha regain his best friend, you're helping him with his studies, and you're there for Sesshoumaru. I know none of that is easy. And you've done it all while dealing with this situation with your mother. I admit, I don't like what happened between the two of you, but I can understand from both sides what happened."

Kagome accepted the chopsticks and poked at the plate of sushi Izayoi had put on the bed, unsure if she wanted to understand her mother's side of it, but needing to anyway.

"Why? Why does she act like that?"

"Fear makes us do many strange, very stupid things. Your mother is afraid, has probably been afraid for a very long time."

"That doesn't mean-" Strange, how hearing someone defending her mother brought the anger back as easily as striking a match.

"I'm not defending what she did Kagome. I don't believe what she did was right. But from what I've gathered, she doesn't want you to end up in her place someday. Fear's a very potent thing, and when a woman's children are concerned, we mothers can go to extremes."

She knew without asking that Izayoi was thinking about herself and her own sons. Knowing what the woman had done to help not only her children, but those close to them, she couldn't help but wonder if her own mother was going to a similar extreme. Surely what both women were doing would be disagreed with by most, but they were intent on helping their children.

But she couldn't go back to that. Not when her mother was boxing her in, caging her with fear and worry.

"It seems to me you have two options, Kagome," Izayoi finally said, breaking through her thoughts.

"Hnn?"

Izayoi chuckled, earning a curious glance.

"You sounded very much like my son, for a moment. It seems to be Sesshoumaru's default answer to almost everything. But, Kagome, you have to either go back and face your mother, or we have to find you a place to live."

"I can't go back. Not yet," She sighed. Facing her mother now, even Izayoi's slight defense of her mother had made her angry. How was she supposed to face the woman knowing there would only be another blow up?

"Do you have a friend you can stay with for a couple of days?"

"I can probably stay with Sango," She admitted. And if not Sango and the others, maybe Sesshoumaru, although the idea of asking to stay with him, without a crisis being involved, was daunting. More than anything she wanted his solid presence, but he had already said he would be out of town, and she didn't want to disturb him. That and sleeping with him implicated other activities she wasn't sure she was ready for yet.

"I can find you a place."

"Izayoi-"

"Kagome, please let me do this. In a way it's my fault-"

"It's not your fault-"

"I feel that it is. Let an old lady feel better about herself, okay?"

She wasn't sure she even had the mental fortitude to argue anymore. Instead she nodded wearily, giving in to the force that was Izayoi.

And an hour later, when Izayoi left with the promise to call her in the morning, she admitted that there was a comfort there, and a sadness. Izayoi had, in one night, acted like the mother she had needed. It was the fact that her own mother had not in such a long time that stung.

The call that she would be coming ahead with Sango was as strange as it was surprising. Trying to push it from his mind, he couldn't ignore the flicker of unease that had followed the statement, especially given the tightness of her voice.

When they arrived at the field, he had to stop himself from going to the car, instead going to his own so that he could show them the new ones. However, the unease grew when she didn't immediately walk over and say hello. Instead she hung back, talking to Sango, her body language shouting that she was uncomfortable.

What had happened since he had dropped her off.

"Hey," Miroku greeted, walking over and looking stressed. "Wow, what are those?"

Something was going on.

Instead of demanding an answer, he chose to wait for it, because in the end, that would be easier.

"New props, courtesy of Totosai. He is coming to watch us tonight."

"Look, Kagome-"

He waited.

"She's upset. I know you're not one for public displays of affection, but she could use it right now."

Despite even greater temptation to ask what had happened, he didn't. He didn't even acknowledge that the other man had spoken as he began pulling props from the trunk of his car, handing them off one by one. When Kagome and Sango finally came over, he handed other props and basins to them before grabbing a canister of fuel. There was a strangely oppressive silence hanging over the group and he tried not to let it bother him.

But it did. Especially when he watched her mixing in her new compounds with no trace of excitement. He knew the compounds were her life, everything to her, and she seemed withdrawn, almost afriad to look in his direction.

He would not engage in some form of public affection just to make her feel better. He wouldn't.

But her silence was beginning to eat at him, especially when Shippou arrived and began trying to fill the silence, as if he too, knew what had happened.

"Kagome."

Why did she flinch when he spoke her name? Determined to get to the bottom of the situation, he walked past her, nodding once to indicate she should follow, which she did. Reluctantly. When they were a safe distance away he turned to her and looked down, waiting patiently.

"I left home."

Three very small words holding a world of pain and fear. Her shoulders were hunched and she looked like she was expecting someone to strike her.

And he had no idea how to respond, what to say. Because she looked so small, so alone, and he had never dealt with that before. What was he supposed to say, to ask?

"She found the photos Izayoi gave me, of all of us from the bar. Everything just got so out of hand."

When had this happened? Yesterday, or today? He felt an irrational surge of anger that she had told the others, but not him. A strange sort of possessiveness drove him. She had been his, was supposed to be the one person in the group that came to him before anyone else, and she hadn't told him. The others obviously knew, so why not him?

Forcing himself to take a long, calming breath he waited a moment before speaking, hoping to keep any trace of that anger from escaping in his tone.

"Where are you staying?"

"I'm so sorry," She mumbled. He could see the tears beginning and wondered what she felt so sorry for. Even not telling him shouldn't have drawn this sort of reaction from her.

"For what?"

"I was just upset and didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell anyone else how mom found out about us, about everything. You said you were going outside of the city and I didn't know who else to call-"

She was babbling and half hysterical, and he wanted to shake her.

"Who did you call, Kagome?"

"Izayoi," She whimpered. If he had thought her ready for a strike before, it was nothing compared to what she was doing now. Her whole body was tensed and ready for flight even as she made herself smaller.

But he wasn't angry. Given her reasoning he understood, although he still felt a strange sort of betrayal that she hadn't called him, let him know what had happened.

"I'm not trying to take advantage, I swear," She babbled. "But she said since it was partially her fault-" And the rest was lost in the tangled mess of words that were rendered incoherent by small sputters and sobs as tears continued down her cheeks.

"You did the right thing," He told her, trying to calm her hysterics but utterly at a loss of how to do so. But his words seemed to have the intended effect, because she looked up at him and blinked several times before choking out a small 'really' that was an obvious question. When he nodded, she faily threw herself at him, arms going around his waist as a new wave of tears began.

Ignoring the others even though he could feel their eyes boring into his back, he rubbed her back awkwardly, let her cling and compose herself.

"Thank you," She murmured, wiping her face. "I didn't mean to break down like that-"

"It's been a very trying couple of days," He interrupted. "But we should start."

She nodded, seeming to sense his ow awkwardness and smiling as if she understood.

When they got back to the group, he was surprised to see Totosai and Saya with them, Totosai smiling approvingly as he walked by. Nothing was said, for which he was grateful. Everyone acted as if the display hadn't occurred, and he felt a bit better about letting it happen. Especially when Kagome shook hands with his godfather and smiled widely, thanking him for taking the time to come out. When he showed her the new fans, her eyes lit up and he felt, for a moment, as if he had accomplished something great.

She exhaled, closed her eyes and then inhaled deeply, breathing in the scents of fuel and sweat and leather. Despite the mask everything filtered through, although she was worried the mask would fall off as she got into position.

It was strange to see familiar faces obscured by the masks, it made it seem darker somehow, as if they were spirits. The unearthly colors of the flames only added the the surreal atmosphere as she watched the others battle before watching Sango light her fans.

Adrenaline surged as she leapt and danced through the darkness, blue flames trailing around her as she danced. Kouga bounded around her and Inu Yasha swung his sword, forcing her to remain on the steps of the routine, but when Sesshoumaru came onto the field and the others pulled away, she felt peace descend even as her blood roared in her ears and her heart sped up.

He didn't force her to go through the steps, didn't stick to the plan. Instead he allowed her to dance, and anticipated her movements so that she was free to let go. As if a tether had been cut, she flew, danced and even cried out her joy as months worth of tension crested and shattered.

The worst had happened. Her mother knew, quite possibly hated her, and she was homeless.

But she still had the fire, still had her friends, even had Sesshoumaru.

She still had that grain of herself, hidden away, and as she danced, she pulled it from the darkness, brought it further into the light and let it guide her movements. No more fear, no more worries, not in this moment. Perfect in it's clarity, she understood everything and the moment itself was all that mattered. Even Sesshoumaru became a dim shadow of himself, and she was dancing with a fire spirit, a smoky, whispering thing that coaxed her closer to freedom until she crested, shattered, and twirled in a flurry of movements.

When nothing but smoke traced her path she slowed, then stopped, chest heaving as she tried to drag in air behind the mask.

Sesshoumaru came forward, sword trailing smoke as he came closer, and she dropped her fans in the damp towel carried by the others, watched him do the same. He removed his mask, and with a sense of reluctance she did the same. Now they were human again, and had human lives, human worries. It was with a sense of desperation that she clung to that moment of peace she had found.

"You did very well," He murmured quietly.

More pictures were taken as the others mock battled, but she and Sesshoumaru walked away, over to where his Totosai waited with Saya. Both of them were nodding approvingly, mirroring one another as they stroked their beards.

"I can see what you meant," Totosai said in his gravely voice. Confused, she looked up to Sesshoumaru, who in turn was glaring at the old man.

"We brought food," Saya said, breaking through the tension and producing a large cardboard box filled with smaller containers. An impromptu picnic was started on the hood of their car, and one by one the others came over, everyone grabbing chopsticks and paper plates and talking about the new fuel compounds.

Her circumstances weren't spoken of, and Totosai and Saya almost took over the conversation entirely while discussing the newest additions of props. Sesshoumaru remained silent, almost tense while the two men were there, and when they finally left and everyone began packing up, she walked over to him and lay a light hand on his shoulder.

"Is everything alright?"

"My godfather is a nosy man," He sighed as he poured fuel back into containers.

"Totosai is your godfather?"

"Hnn."

It was strange to think that he had been disowned by his family, yet his godfather still had contact with him. She supposed it was Totosai's business, and ultimately it made her happy that not everyone in his family had severed contact with him.

"Where are you staying tonight?"

"Sango's."

"You can stay with me," He offered.

Immediately warning bells went off, and she couldn't say precisely why.

"I'd like to, but I need some space right now," She offered hesitantly. "Just room to think about everything."

She knew it was the wrong thing to say, because his face went blank, and suddenly he was the same distant man she had met months ago, and not the man she had danced with, clung to, not long before.

He nodded tightly and said nothing else, only moving to put props and fuel in the trunk of his car. Nothing was said as he and Inu Yasha drove off, and it was with a sense of confusion that she got in Sango's car and listened to everyone talking about the new props and the fire dyes.

When she was finally sitting in Sango's spare room, she realized why she had said no, and wanted to scream.

Staying with Sesshoumaru would mean accepting support from a man. Somehow, despite her best efforts, her mother's teachings had sunk in, and she'd hurt someone wanting to help her. Even though she'd left her mother's home, the woman's voice was still in her head, influencing her actions.

Desperate to try and explain what had happened, she scrambled for her cellphone and flipped it open, quickly dialing Sesshoumaru's number.

After several long rings, it went to voice mail, and she hung up, wondering if she'd succeeded at messing up one of the few good things she had left.

A/N: Short, I know, and I'm sorry. For everyone that replied to my note, thank you so much for your support. I am worried I lost readers for this and offended people, when really it wasn't my intention. Frustration made my previous note very bitter, and I do appreciate the people that have taken the time to invest in this story. If you're reading this still, thank you. I do want to create something that is more than one dimensional, and that was really all I wanted to say (and all I should have said). For any offense caused, I'm sorry.

That being said, every high can be brought down, sometimes with frightening ease. Fire doesn't solve everything, unfortunately.