How Not To Write Fanfiction Chapter 4, a primeval fanfic

Real AN right here... Guess who put this on her Doc Manager as "How To Write Fanfiction" I sincerely hope I *DON'T* always write like this! And yes, I am uploading this at 10 to midnight. I just need to get this out there!

OH MY GOD LIKE WOULD YOU TOTALLY LEAVE ME LIKE A REVIEW BECAUSE NO ONE HAS YET!

"Lovingthis!" Becker warned.

What?

"Sure, ask for reviews, everyone does. But don't beg, never put it in your description of a story and, for the love of god, don't say that no-one has reviewed yet!"

Umm… Why not?

"Because! Another author reads it, pulls a face and thinks 'oh… really? No-one's reviewed. There must be a reason behind that. I'm not even going to try to read it.'"

That does not happen!

"Really? Take a look at the Primeval archive. Most of the stories which ask for reviews are the ones with the least."

Nah! That's not right.

"It is." He raised an eyebrow as he put on his best smug smirk.

So… how do I ask for reviews without sounding desperate?

"Start by writing something worth reading!" Lovingthis rolled her eyes. "Then at the end of the chapter ask them to review. There's no point asking people to before they've read it."

Oh. Fair point. I'll do that then.

ENJOY!

He struggled to get the words out. Becker hated opening up, after the last time the ARC was invaded he had been put through so much that Lester had ordered him to therapy. He had fought the idea until the point when Lester dropped the ultimatum "go or get fired" and he did as told. Since, his view of therapy had changed somewhat. He still hated talking, appearing weak, but he had grown to love the times he could release some of the burden, to just say it out loud and get it out there.

Rebecca watched as he struggled, wondering what was going on behind the mask he wore. She knew at times, when he was sure no-one was looking, there would be a small break in the stern expression. Sometimes, just sometimes, she caught a glimpse of the man whom the soldier tried to hide. The man who was broken every time he didn't manage to protect everyone, the man who tried to build walls and hide behind the title of his job. As she studied him she wondered what more there was. Why he felt the need to protect everyone, what was it in his history which made him shy away from love and human contact while he still evidently cared?

Re-re began to peel away at the many layers of the man to try and find who lay underneath.

-/-

Lovingthis raised an eyebrow at Becker to check if he had any problem with the sentence. He raised his in return.

Hmmmm. Lovingthis contemplated shoving him in a pink frilly skirt for the kicks.

"If you force me into any stupid clothing again-" Lovingthis internally groaned as she realised that he knew her too well, "- and you and I will never - "

BECKER! LET'S PLEASE KEEP THIS K RATED! And you wouldn't dare!

"No?"

Nope. Lovingthis popped the 'p'.

"How are you so sure?"

Cause… you're in my head. I control what you do…. Now… DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY SOLDIER BOY!

Becker did as told while Lovingthis watched on, a grin plastered over her face.

-/-

Re-re began to peel away at the many layers of the man to try and find who lay underneath. It was an impossible task. There was just too much that she still didn't know about him. Becker noticed her scrutinizing gaze and quickly threw his impassive face back up. Internally Re-re cursed him.

"Alright. That's it." Becker raised an eyebrow at her decisive statement, but gave no other sign of his confusion. "Go shower." Signs of a smirk started to form at the ends of his lips.

"What makes you think you have the right to tell me what to do?"

"You're going to do it, Becker." The smirk widened. "Trust me, you are. You're going to shower then I'm taking you home and you're going to have a relaxing evening."

The expression that Becker pulled was one of such incredulity that Re-re was almost certain that he was laughing at her.

"Once again, what makes you think you have the right to tell me what to do?"

"I don't."

Becker turned for the punch bag, ignoring the fact his hands were bare and took a stance.

"Don't make me push your buttons, Becker." Despite only having a view of his back Re-re knew that 'the eyebrow' had risen further.

"I don't have buttons."

"You're very certain aren't you." Rebecca reflected, not really expecting an answer. "Sooo," she pulled the word out, "Soldier Boy." She clicked her tongue and rocked on he feet, the heels of her boots tapping the ground every so often. "What if I were to play the 'If you don't do this it'll hurt me and I'll worry' card?"

He was still yet to take a punch. "There's no such thing."

"Really?"

"Really?"

You what Becker?

"Really, Loving this? Really?"

Becker. Don't beat around the bush. You know I prefer it when you get to the point.

"Yeah… I know that alright."

BECKER!

"You're the one beating around the bush. And look. I'm being utterly dominated by a girl!"

BECKER!

"It's true! You know me- or at least, you understand me in ways- would I really let a girl order me around like that?"

You would Jess.

"Eah. Debatable."

Lovingthis groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, Lovingthis! You know that I like to be in control."

Lovingthis started to giggle immaturely. I know that alright. Becker raised an eyebrow at her. Okay, okay. No wishy washy talking and you have… Lovingthis tried to keep a level voice as she spoke. Control.

*winks*

-/-

"Alright. That's it. Please, Becker. What happened today isn't normal and I'm going to be worried." Re-re looked sincere.

Any other time Becker would have said no. But she was right. The day had most certainly not been normal.

"What do you want?"

"Umm…" As she shuffled uneasily, Becker started to get truly interested. "Can I come over?"

His eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"You shouldn't be alone."

He thought for a few seconds. "I'm going to have a shower. I'll then take you home." His words were short and concise, letting Re-re know that she hadn't got what she had asked for.

How's that Becker?

"Better."

Mmmm. It is isn't it. Lovingthis disappeared into a dream world.

Becker was in the shower, stretching his toned body to allow the cool water to wash away the sweat from his workout. As he massaged the shampoo into his hair, the strong muscles in his arms bulked out and the position highlighted the chiselled features of his chest. The steady thrum of water hitting the base of the shower began to calm him as it removed all worries from the day. His hands moved lower as he rubbed gel over his front, then…

"LOVINGTHIS!"

*Blinks* What? Lovingthis realised what had happened. OH! There was a moment's silence. Oh… Ummm.

Awkward!

-/-

He thought for a few seconds. "I'm going to have a shower. I'll then take you home." His words were short and concise, letting Re-re know that she hadn't got what she had asked for.

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

They walked past Abby who was reading a file of some sort. Connor was walking next to her talking to her. Then they walked past the room where Matt was walking from side to side as he watered his plants. Walking on-

"Lovingthis?"

Yeah, honey?

Becker blinked, he'd expected Lovingthis to yell. "You're in a really good mood after that zone out aren't you?"

Lovingthis blushed. What do you want?

"Can you please stop saying 'walked' and 'walking'?"

What? But…

"Yeah, we are walking. But read it out loud… doesn't it sound a bit repetitive?"

You think it's repetitive?

"Yeah."

Repetitive?

"Yes."

Repetitive?

"LOVINGTHIS!"

Okay! Okay! Fine. It is repetitive. I'll change it.

-/-

He thought for a few seconds. "I'm going to have a shower. I'll then take you home." His words were short and concise, letting Re-re know that she hadn't got what she had asked for.

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

"Columbian."

What?

"It's Columbian. Not woolly."

Oh. Okay then.

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

Becker took note of everyone who passed them as they left. First was Abby who was reading a file of some sort. She was followed by Connor who was trying to talk to her. Then he saw Matt who was ferrying water from a sink in his lab to the plants. In the menagerie Rex was gliding from the Columbian Mammoth's trunk. The mammoth was looking confused at the dinosaur's progress.

"Rex is a prehistoric lizard."

What's that, Becky boy?

"Rex. He's not a dinosaur. He's a prehistoric lizard."

Oh.

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

"They're mammals."

Pardon?

"Sid and Nancy are mammals."

BECKER! You're starting to sound like one of those anonymous reviewers who's more than happy to criticise the incorrect fan fiction writers BUT wont put their name to it and will happily ignore the fact that in the show there are the remains of a modern day Homo-Sapien, also known as Helen Cutter, at site 333 with a Raptor who belongs in the Cretaceous.
I mean WHERE ARE THE BLOOMIN' ARCHAEOLOGISTS?
Not to mention the camp left behind with bloomin' chocolate bars and Tom's body in the Permain WHICH WAS THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION YEARS BEFORE THEY THINK THE AUSTRALOPITHECUS AT SITE 333 LIVED!
Now, I don't mean to snap, Becker, honey. But cut me a little slack would you? If the writers of the show aren't going to be perfect do you really expect me to be?

"I guess not."

No need to sound so dejected, sweetie. I'm well within my right to use poetic licence.
You know what? I think I'll skip the animals altogether.

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

Becker took note of everyone who passed them as they left. First was Abby who was reading a file of some sort. She was followed by Connor who was trying to talk to her. Then he saw Matt who was ferrying water from a sink in his lab to the plants. Then the air vents were opened above them and Jenny, Danny, Helen, Stephen, Claudia, Nick and various other people from the ARC's past jumped down.

"Don't you worry, Becker." Nick patted his friend on the shoulder. "We have a way to change everything that's happened in the past, converge it neatly so no-one disappears and we save people's lives. We'll sort out what happened today."

Becker pulled out a gun and shot each person in the head. As he stepped over the bodies he muttered to himself. "I really need to deal with those bloomin' air vents. It's too easy for people to crawl around in them."

BECKER!

"Come on, Lovingthis!"

Excessive Bringing-Back-People-From-The-Past-With-No-Explination-As-To-How-It-Happened?

"Yes. And…"

Over use of the air vents. I know I know.

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

Becker took note of everyone who passed them as they left. First was Abby who was reading a file of some sort. She was followed by Connor who was trying to talk to her. Then he saw Matt who was ferrying water from a sink in his lab to the plants. In the hub, Jess was tapping away at the ADD and Lester was pacing his room as he spoke to Emily. She was sat on one of the chairs.

-/-

When Lovingthis didn't write anything for a few seconds Becker became concerned.

"What's wrong?"

I don't like that paragraph. It's too… 'listy'.

"Listy?"

Yeah… It's just "One person was doing this. The other person was doing that. Then another person did something else." It doesn't work…

Becker didn't know what to do. "Sorry… I'm just a figment of your imagination. I can't really do anything."

You do plenty enough, honey. *Winks*

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

Becker took note of everyone who passed them as they left. Abby approached from the opposite direction, her head buried in a file while Connor tried to talk to her. Matt was ferrying water from a sink in his lab to the plants on the many shelves of the room. When they reached the hub, Becker noted Jess tapping away at the keys on the ADD and Lester pacing his office as he spoke to Emily, who was seated on one of the chairs.

-/-

"Still not happy?"

No… Attempt number three here we go.

"They say third time lucky."

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

Becker took a note of everyone who passed them as they navigated the halls to the exit. Abby approached from the opposite direction, her head buried in a file while Connor, speaking loudly, attempted to direct her attention onto him.

The soldier smiled as he noticed Matt look around from watering his plants. It was faintly amusing how Connor could attract the attention of everyone but the person he was trying to talk to.

One quick glance around the hub reassured Becker that everyone was safe in their rightful places. Jess was tapping away at the new keys on the ADD, the old ones having been replaced from wear and Lester was talking to Emily in the comfort of his office, no doubt about the days events.

-/-

The shower itself didn't take too long, Becker was in and out within five minutes and it wasn't long until he and Re-re were walking through the ARC.

Unable to put the soldier away for even a moment, Becker took a note of everyone who passed them as they navigated the halls to the exit. Abby approached from the opposite direction, her head buried in a file while Connor, speaking loudly, attempted to direct her attention onto him. The army man smiled as he noticed Matt look around from watering his plants, to the corridor. It was faintly amusing how Connor could attract the attention of everyone but the person he was trying to talk to.

The fast pace the pair held, gave Becker just enough time for a quick glance around the hub to reassure himself that everyone was safe in their rightful places. Jess was tapping away at the new keys on the ADD, the old ones having been replaced from wear and Lester was talking to Emily in the comfort of his office, no doubt about the days events.

-/-

What do you think?

Becker grinned at the car Lovingthis had just pictured him driving to Re-re's as she thought of the next chapter she was going to write. "Love it."

I meant what I'd written, honey!

"Yeah… Yeah. Me too."

Lovingthis laughed. Liar.

"I'd do anything to get that car."

Anything? *winks*

"Seriously, Lovingthis. Give me that car and I will become real, hunt down Ben Mansfield and make him sign his life over to you."

DEAL!

What'cha think?

This chapter took a while as it just kept growing longer and longer!

Thanks for sticking with it and reviewing *hint hint nudge nudge* ;)