Average number of words per chapter for this story- 2282.25. (2513.6 including this chapter sans AN)
Average number of words per chapter for Points of Time- 1065.5.
HAHA! I think I could up the word count on the Line Of Sight stories don't you think? Longer chapters?
Enjoy a bit more of me being bullied by figments of my own imagination!
Re-re stopped in shock as she gazed at Becker's car twelve feet in front of them. As she did Becker nudged her forward half a step.
"This. Is. Yours?" She looked as if she was about to hyperventilate.
A smug smile tugged at Becker's lips. "Yeah."
"I think I'm gunna faint." For a moment Becker thought she really would, her skin had lost all colour. "That's an- an- it's a-" She was unable to get the words out.
"Lamborghini Aventador? Yeah. I know."
She gasped for a three moments before Becker stopped her from allowing to take a fourth. He pulled his keys from his right pocket and twiddled them around his fingers a couple of times before re-catching them in the palm of his hand and taking the four long steps necessary to cover the distance to the door, his legs stretched as he powerfully paced. He opened the door fully, wincing as the hinges reached their limits and the metal shook slightly. Then he ushered her in, placing his hand on her lower back, an inch about the hem of her shirt. He watched her back carefully as he set his hand on the fabric and then removed it when appropriate.
The Captain moved quickly to his side of the car and buckled up in record time, scowling into the rear view mirror as he adjusted it. Then he glanced at the girl sat next to him who was trying to regain her breath.
"This car is beautiful!"
A half smirk spread across Becker's features and he checked himself in the mirror, adjusting the smirk as he did so.
They drove in silence. It wasn't awkward nor comfortable. It just was. Re-re was silently worrying about what may happen when she arrived home- should she invite him in or not, what would he accept? Becker was lost in the memory of earlier that day, while also trying to remember his solder's address. After ten minutes of driving they were caught in traffic. They had rounded a corner at a normal speed but Becker was forced to slam on the breaks at the sudden appearance of a queue of vehicles. He stopped his precious car three inches from the back of the car in front. Becker gently nudged the clutch, adjusting the distance.
After another half hour, the two soldiers finally made it to Re-re's apartment. They sat in silence before Re-re took control.
"Come on then."
Becker raised an eyebrow in response but otherwise held his tongue.
When inside Becker kept his distance, wary that she would want to do the one thing he never did.
Talk.
He walked on when she paused in the doorway to her lounge, putting thee metres between them before turning.
"You don't happen to have a calculator do you?"
"What?" Re-re blinked in surprise.
"I work better in feet but can't do the conversion in my head."
What on Earth are you doing?
Becker turned in the direction of his author's mind and smiled. "You said 'three metres' I work better in feet…"
Becker! Would you please get a grip!
"On what?"
BECKER! Lovingthis pouted and purposely brought tears to her eyes. You're ruining it! ! !
"You're using excessive punctuation again."
BECKER! Lovingthis mentally stomped a foot, preparing to throw a tantrum.
"Lovingthis?"
You keep on doing things I don't want you to do!
"Like what?"
Like… You kept on doing things… like that stuff with shuffling your car till it was exactly three inches behind the car. And with the car door… and… checking yourself out in the mirror- my job to check you out. Not yours!
"I figured that if you're dictating my actions like a military operation I should take them seriously."
I was trying to make sure everyone knew what was happening!
"THEY DON'T CARE!"
*gasp* Bu- Bu- Bu- Becker! Lovingthis started to cry then decided to delete the entire story.
"DON'T YOU DARE!"
Bu- bu-
"They don't want to you tell them exactly where everything is. Were you going to say- In Re-re's room there was a rectangular coffee table with sides of this by this length and that there are two sofas on either side each able to seat three people- four at a push- and that one short end of the table faced the fireplace which had these dimensions and…"
NO!
"You were weren't you?"
… *mubbles* yeah.
"You don't need to put that much information in. When someone reads their mind makes up how it looks. You can guide it, sure. Say that it was a quaint room with a coffee table and two sofa's by a fire. But don't be so precise!"
I thought you liked things to be pretty organised. *winks*
"Lovingthis!"
Yes.
"Weren't you the one who wanted to keep this K capable?"
Yeah… but… you know *winks again*
Becker raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you try to finally get this chapter up for your wonderful readers. Then we'll try and sort something out."
*Gasp* Do you really mean it? I mean, really Becker? Do you really? *fan girl squeal/faint*
Becker ground his teeth together. "Of course I do," he muttered through his teeth. "You're the one who decides what I do and don't think."
Yeah. And you keep ruining it by reminding me. How about you stop that?
"Your wish is my commend."
I know. Lovingthis grinned. And next time you say that, try it without the attitude.
-/-
Becker turned to Re-re and watched her with wary eyes. There was an almost awkward pause, then the girl broke it.
"Tea?" She blushed as Becker raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. Coffee. You only drink coffee. Dash of milk no sugar." The second eyebrow raised to meet the first and she blushed further. "Right. Kitchen's through here." And she walked out, Becker following moments later.
Lovingthis tapped absently at her laptop, thinking. Unable to write the next scene she decided to jump to where she planned to go with the story and then fill in what she'd missed out.
Ready Becker?
The man sighed. "As I'll ever be."
Oh stop being such a drama queen! It's not that bad.
"Yeah, last time you said that to me, you made me jump through a doorway, fall and become blind. I should trust you why?"
Cause I'll reward you! *winks*
"Only cause you want the 'reward' yourself!"
Stop arguing, Soldier Boy.
-/-
Lovingthis continued to tap at her laptop's edge. The sound started to get on Becker's nerves until finally, the soldier snapped.
"WHAT?"
My my Soldier Boy! Great self control you have there. Sure you're not being a bit OOC?
"Does it matter?"
Lovingthis shrugged. I guess not.
"So, why are you tapping?"
I don't know what to do! You're meant to sit with Re-re have a comfortable chat and then nearly kiss.
Becker blanched.
Exactly! You're meant to blanch then freak out and leave, then I'm going to resolve the situation in the next chapter when the tension finally snaps and you kiss.
"Well, are you even going to try and write it?"
I DON'T KNOW HOW!
"Key out something. ANYTHING. See where it goes."
Lovingthis put her chin on her hands, thinking. Okay then.
-/-
…
-/-
"LOVINGTHIS!"
What?
"You're still not writing anything!"
I'm worried about getting you two sat down and talking. I don't know how I'll write it!
"Cheat!"
What? I'm not a cheat! Lovingthis was confused.
"That's not what I meant."
Well, what did you mean, man? Speak quickly or I'll hurt you!
"If you cant think of the words to say, open with a line saying that we were finding it easy to talk. That way you get the point across but you don't have to fill it out with too many pointless words."
Oh. That makes sense. Thanks honey! You'll be rewarded later.
Umm… much later.
Sort of 'M' time.
Ya know what I'm sayin'? *winks*
"Lovingthis, sweetie, everyone knows what you're saying."
-/-
It wasn't long before Becker and Re-re were sat on the sofa, chatting easily. She hadn't bought up the days events and Becker was gradually relaxing. (AN: I know that Becker doesn't normally relax that much but he's had a hard day so just pretend he's enjoying the distraction.)
"I'm hatingthis."
Becker? Lovingthis raised an eyebrow.
"You just shoved an authors note in the middle of a story."
I was trying to tell people something.
"You just PULVERISED the flow!"
WOAH! Hold your horses there, Mister! PULVERISED! Lovingthis's voice rose a few octaves. PULVERISED?
"That's what I said."
PULVERISED? Lovingthis's mental voice was reaching the upper end of its limits.
"Only bats can hear you now, you know."
PULVERISED? I MEAN- Lovingthis started to splutter.
"When you write a story it needs to floooooooooow." Becker pulled out the 'o' to make his point. "By putting an authors note in it you ruin said flow."
Yeah, but I wanted to tell-
"To be fair, Lovingthis," Becker interrupted. "They wouldn't have noticed that I was being out of character until you mentioned it. It's best to just ignore it and if your readers don't flag it up, it's fine."
But-
"No. No buts."
Lovingthis started to giggle.
"What is it this time?" Becker sighed.
I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny- The author began to sing.
"Stop it!"
Make me. *winks*
Becker rolled his eyes. "You're just in one of those moods today aren't you?"
Help me fix it? *winks*
"Just write the story!"
-/-
It wasn't long before Becker and Re-re were sat on the sofa, chatting easily. She hadn't bought up the days events and Becker was gradually relaxing. He wasn't prepared to fully let his guard down, with two sisters one learns that when someone's helping you to relax it normally means that they are about to pounce. And not always in the good way.
Becker snorted in laughter.
BECKER!
"That is funny, Lovingthis. But are you sure it's appropriate?"
*sadface* Pleaseeeeee? Let me give it a shot, if it doesn't flow… well, I'll remove it.
"Thanks."
Lovingthis grinned. No worries. Can't guarantee that I wont pounce though… *winks*
"WHAT IS IT WITH YOU TODAY?"
Me no know. Just one of them moods. Lovingthis flashed her best grin.
-/-
It wasn't long before Becker and Re-re were sat on the sofa, chatting easily. She hadn't bought up the days events and Becker was gradually relaxing. He wasn't prepared to fully let his guard down, with two sisters he quickly learnt that when someone was helping him to relax it didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't about to be jumped.
And not in the good way.
As the second thought passed through his mind a small grin started to spread over his features. Re-re gave him a curious glance as he did & then
"Woah!"
REBECCA?
"Yeah. Why the surprise?"
… Well… you know… Becker talks to me…
"I'm a figment of your imagination too!" She soldier girl crossed her arms over her chest, offended.
Oh… Sorry, Re-re you know I love you really, yes?
"Course I do!" She smiled.
"Oh god!" Becker facepalmed.
What?
"You two. I think I'll move out."
Don't you dare! This is my mind and if you try to leave I will remove all doors!
Becker rolled his eyes but said nothing further.
"I was going to say, Lovingthis..." Re-re indicated she wanted to say something.
Go on..?
"Well you let Becker criticise your writing…"
Technically I don't but lets see where you're going…
"You used & to abbreviate."
I know, I'm trying to get this out.
"Never ever use ampersands or abbreviate your writing like that. It is sloppy. It's like… imagine a scene, Becker's died and you're writing the funeral. You've built it up with imagery. But then you start to write Jess's feelings and you end with a line, 'she couldn't believe what had happened. The emotions were spinning around inside her small body like a tornado. She tried to distract from the sermon being read by reflecting on her feelings, unbearable despair, the dull ache of a broken heart, but also anger. The anger shocked her. She felt hate, pure hate to the situation, the people who didn't save him & all the other factors that bought his death, guns, anomalies, animals etc.'"
Wow! You've put a lot of thought into that!
"My point, Lovingthis, is that the ampersand and the abbreviation of etcetera ruin the mood and bring down the quality."
Point taken. Thanks for that, Re-re.
Becker frowned. "How come she gets thanks and I get lewd remarks?"
You weren't that offended, honey. *winks*
-/-
It wasn't long before Becker and Re-re were sat on the sofa, chatting easily. She hadn't bought up the days events and Becker was gradually relaxing. He wasn't prepared to fully let his guard down, with two sisters he quickly learnt that when someone was helping him to relax it didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't about to be jumped.
And not in the good way.
As the second thought passed through his mind a small grin started to spread over his features. Re-re gave him a curious glance as he did and blinked in confusion.
"Umm, a penny for your thoughts?"
Becker realised he had been caught out and answered before thinking. "Nothing really, just thinking about being jumped."
A frown formed on Re-re's brow and Becker wondered why on earth he had said such a thing.
"Being jumped?" The frown had started to take an amused turn as Re-re thought over his words. "What d'you think's going to happen to you?"
Becker grinned, then explained his previous thought process. "I had two sisters and I learnt that you already know what my thought process was so I don't know why Lovingthis is making me say it again."
"Fair, but she wants to make sure that I know what's happening."
"No point in saying it all over again. She could just paraphrase what's already there."
"Quite right. Do you think we should mention that to her?"
"I don't know." Becker smirked. "What do you think?"
"She may have already started to get the idea."
"True."
"But I think we should warn her, just in case she hasn't quite gathered what we're trying to say."
BECKER! RE-RE! You're ganging up on me!
The captain replied. "It's true! I know it, you know it, the readers know it. Don't waste their time by repeating it ALL over again!"
Lovingthis pulled an unimpressed face then started to delete what was written.
-/-
It wasn't long before Becker and Re-re were sat on the sofa, chatting easily. She hadn't bought up the days events and Becker was gradually relaxing. He wasn't prepared to fully let his guard down, with two sisters he quickly learnt that when someone was helping him to relax it didn't necessarily mean that he wasn't about to be jumped.
And not in the good way.
As the second thought passed through his mind a small grin started to spread over his features. Re-re gave him a curious glance as he did and blinked in confusion.
"Umm, a penny for your thoughts?"
Becker realised he had been caught out and answered before thinking. "Nothing really, just thinking about being jumped."
A frown formed on Re-re's brow and Becker wondered why on earth he had said such a thing.
"Being jumped?" The frown had started to take an amused turn as Re-re thought over his words. "What d'you think's going to happen to you?"
Becker grinned, then explained his previous thought process.
When finished Re-re grinned. "Two older sisters and a twin. I know what it's like to be lulled into a false sense of security." She placed on of her hands on Becker's as she spoke. "I wasn't planning on doing that to you. I honestly just wanted to give you a distraction."
Becker nodded, trusting her words. It may have seemed unlike him to easily put his faith into something as flimsy as words but he was a soldier.
"Ahem."
Yes, Becker? Lovingthis glared at the attractive man. As she thought the word attractive her mind started to slip and the room Becker was seated in began to shift.
"FOCUS, LOVINGTHIS!"
On what in particular? Lovingthis winked.
"How about that split infinitive?"
The room shifted back into perfect focus.
Spilt infinitive?
"Yeah, you know what an infinitive is, yes? It's the basic form of a verb, normally proceeded with 'to.'"
I KNOW WHAT AN INFINITIVE IS! I TOOK TWO FOREIGN LANGUAGES AT SCHOOL!
"Well, you wrote 'to easily put' and it is not correct grammar to ever split an infinitive."
Lovingthis rolled her eyes. I see what you did there. With that 'to split' split with 'ever.' Very clever Becker. What do you want? A cookie?
"No need to be bitter and sarcastic."
No need to be a show off. What you gunna do next? Buy Jess a house after she suggests to Abby that she wants to move?
"Lovingthis!" Becker warned.
Yeah yeah! I know! I know, focus on the task in hand and whatnot. Fun comes later, always later.
I am well aware that I often break the split infinitive rule. Woopsie!
Let me know what you think!
More pet peeves coming soon- well as soon as I've written the next chapter. I really *was* struggling to write this!
Thank you my lovelies!