A/N this chapter is once again dedicated to MrsJMalfoy for giving me so many ideas to do with my story.

WARNINGS: Self harm and Suicide attempt.

This is not for the faint hearted, it is rated M for reason, see first chap for the warnings of the whole story.

oh yah, hope you all had a nice xmas

love holleybee x

Later

"Clean your self up mutt, i might want some more fun later" Regulus says panting slightly and he leaves my feeble naked body and leaves the room, slamming the big oak door behind him.

As soon as the door is closed i reach over to my wand, sharply inhaling at how much pain i am in, my arse hurts, my ribs hurt, they are definatly broken this time, but most of all my arm hurts, where i cut so deep, shakily i get up of the bed. careful not to sit down.

i look over my bed, disgusted at what i am seeing, my blood covering the sheets, regulus' seamen mixed with my blood, wet patches near the head of the bed, where i cried my eyes out as my older brother violated me, sickened to the core i bend over and vomit all over the floor and cover the side of my bedside table.

i wave my wand silently, vanishing the vomit and stains off my bed, a lump rising in my throat, the realisation that he will come back later hitting me, muttering quietly i ward my bedroom, so the only person who can enter is my own personal house elf, Lenny. I also cast a Silencing charm on the door, feeling moderatley safe i let the tears i have been fighting off fall down my cheeks, my knees give way and i sink to the floor next to my bed, crying to my self, hating myself for letting that happen, letting my own brother rape me "accio, razor" i wave my wand and catch the tiny silver blade in my free hand, i put the cold metal to my forearm and dig in, causing a tiny bead of blood to escape my skin, slowly i run the blade the length of my forearm, down to my wrist, slicing parts of old cuts as i go. i watch the blood spurt out of my wrist, realising i must have knicked my artery, "shit, shit, shit" i mutter, grabbing a robe from the floor next to me, i tie it round my arm, "lenny" i call out for my elf. A loud crack announces his arrival.

"Master Siri called Lenny, sir?" the tiny elf says, studying my face with big blue eyes, "Master, Siri, whats you done? Whats you done to yous arm Master siri" the elf says rushing over to me and unbinding my arm.

"Help me Lenny" i whisper as the elf magics up a clean cloth and wraps it round my arm and leading me towards my bathroom.

"Lenny will help yous Master Siri, lenny has already closeded up the cuts, but master be needing a blood replenishing potion, Lenny will find one. but firsts Lenny will draw Master Siri a bath." The tiny elf says worriedly crossing over to my rolltop bath, well it's more a mini swimming pool. i watch the elf turn on the taps and with a little magic speeds . up the running water.

"lenny, you are not to tell anyone, what has happened, you understand me." i say to the elf ad i cross over and lower my bloody and bruised body into the warm water.

"lenny understands, master Siri. please do not worry, Lenny will take care of Master." the tiny elf says as he leaves me in the water, "Lenny will find master some food and his potions" the elf says, a loud crack announching his dissaperance.

i settle my self into the water, letting it's warmth, soothe my aching body. as i lay in the bath, tears build up in my eyes again, i don't bother fighting them off this, i look down at my naked mutilated body and let the tears cascade down my face, i watch them drip into the bath, dissapering as they become part of the bath water, wishing i could jsut disapear, like my tears in the tub.

A loud crack distracts me from my thoughts. "Master Siri, Lenny had potions for you to take, and Lenny brought you some chicken soup and pumpkin juice" lenny says crossing over and standing next to the bath, "here, take the potions first, master."

i take the small emerald coloured phial and down the bitter liquid in one, "whats the other one Lenny" i say taking the Red phial off him and downing it too sweet contents in one.

"neutrituon potion Master Siri, Now he is your soup, let Lenny clean up your room and then Lenny will help Master Siri get into bed and rest." Lenny says handing me a hot bowl of soup and crusty bread.

My mouth waters at the smell of the soup and bread, My first proper meal for days, my stomach lets out a loud growl and i beging wolfing to hot soup down, and munching the bread down after the soup. i gulp down the pumpkin juice and lay back down in the bath,, the now tepid water washing over me.

i get up and step out of the bath, i grab a towel and wrap it around my self gently, wincing as the amout of damage done to my body. entering my bedroom, i see Lenny jsut putting fresh sheets on my bed, " Master Siri needs to come lay down, Don't worry Lenny won't leave you or let anyone in" the elf says kindly helping me over to my bed.

"thank you Lenny" i say greatfully carefully laying down, knowing what ever way i lay down is going to hurt. decideing laying on my right side is beast i sunuggle down under the fresh smelling sheets and drift off into and uncomfortable slumber.

A/N Reviews are like my crack, Please supply my habit! Bee x