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Chapter 3: Priscilla Black

Sirius could not stop thinking about Remus. Ever since their encounter a day earlier, he could not take his mind off of the man. For years, Sirius had suppressed his feelings for men. Every time he saw an attractive man, he ignored his thoughts. Yesterday, however, Remus had brought up all of Sirius's old needs and urges. He could not stop imagining what Remus's mouth would feel like against his lips or around his cock. He could not stop imagining Remus bent over and taking Sirius all the way in. He desperately tried to ignore his thoughts, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. When he remembered Remus's smell, his heart would beat faster and his breath would become slightly ragged. It was unbelievable the effect that Remus had had on Sirius. It was as if Sirius was a former smoker who had gone years without a smoke, but then he had gone to a party and taken one hit off of a friend's cigarette and now he was addicted again. In this situation, Remus was the cigarette, and Sirius was dying for a drag. Sure, Sirius had been looking at men since he was young, but he had never looked at a man the way he looked at Remus. Years ago, Sirius had cheated on Priscilla with a man in college, and Priscilla had forgiven him, but he could still remember the fight that had ensued when Priscilla found out.

"Who told you?" Sirius asked quietly. Priscilla had just come into his apartment and informed him that she knew about Andrew. He thought they had been discreet, but apparently one of her friends had spotted Andrew coming into his apartment on several nights.

"It doesn't matter, Sirius!" Priscilla screeched. "How could you do this to me?"

"I…"

"Don't try to make up any lies either, Sirius," Priscilla said angrily. "I love you and I've done nothing but love you since we were kids, and I thought you felt the same way—"

"I do, Pris!" Sirius said desperately. "I do love you." Sirius looked down at the ground, but Priscilla stared straight at him. For a while, neither of them spoke. Priscilla was crying, but Sirius did not know what he should do. He wanted to comfort her and ensure her of his feelings for her, but he thought it would not do any good.

Finally, Priscilla spoke. "Do you still have feelings for him?" she asked quietly. When Sirius did not respond Priscilla spoke louder. "Do you love him, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up. He could remember lying in bed with Andrew at night and whispering to him how he loved him. He could remember burying his face into Andrew's neck and getting lost. Yes, he loved Andrew, but he also loved Priscilla. More than this, however, Sirius knew what was expected of him. He had always known deep down that somehow Priscilla would find out and that he would then have to end it. His feelings for Andrew were incredibly real and strong and he knew it was going to be hard, but he knew what he had to do. Sirius took several steps toward Priscilla and reached out his arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. He bent down and placed his forehead against hers for a few moments. Then he leaned back slightly, looked into her eyes, and spoke.

"I love you, Pris," he assured her. She looked at him for several seconds before she responded.

"So, it's over—between you and him?"

"Yes…"

After that, Sirius had longed for Andrew. Many nights he would cry himself to sleep thinking about the man he thought might have been the one true love of his life. Eventually he had gotten over it, but the feelings always lingered. The day before, Remus had reawakened all of the feelings that Sirius had been pushing to the back of his mind for years. He knew he could not act on any of his feelings. He could not do that to Priscilla, and he could not do it to himself. He would not and could not go down that road again knowing what the outcome had to be.

Sirius leaned back in his desk chair and stretched his arms behind his head as he propped his feet up on his mahogany desk. He looked around his study and sighed. His study was lined with mahogany bookshelves filled with legal, as well as non-legal, books. He was working on a big case and he had several papers, manila envelopes, and books spread across his desk and scattered on the floor around his desk. As a first year, junior associate, Sirius was mostly responsible for background research for the case and coming up with case law to support their case. The defendant in the case—the client of Black and Associates—was a large insurance corporation that was being sued—among many other reasons—for dropping thousands of people from their coverage after they got sick, which was essentially a death sentence for some these people. As one of the more (and only) left-leaning members of his family, Sirius was having severe moral and ethical qualms with working on this case. He had told his father several times that he thought this company was guilty as sin and they should not be defending them, but his father told him to do his job and keep his "silly liberal ideas" to himself. The media had deemed the top echelon of this company as "Death Eaters" and had given the CEO the title of the "Dark Lord."

Sirius looked up at the clock above his door and watched it tick. His thoughts remained on Remus—his glistening chest in the hot June sun. Tick-tick-tick. The muscles in his arms and legs flexing as he mowed Sirius's lawn. Tick-tick-tick. His soft smile with slightly crooked bottom teeth when Sirius had made a few funny comments. Tick-tick-tick. Sirius bit his bottom lip when he remembered Remus's round ass when he bent over. Tick-tick-tick. Sirius was so entranced with his clock and his thoughts of Remus that he did not notice when the door to his study opened. Sirius imagined what Remus's hands would feel like on his bare skin. Tick-tick-tick. His hands that had been roughened from years of manual labor caressing Sirius's stomach. Tick-tick—

"Sirius!"

Sirius jumped and nearly tipped backward in his chair.

"WHAT?" he yelled. He had been so startled that his heart was thumping out of his chest.

"I've been standing hear and talking to you for over a minute, and you're just staring at your clock, ignoring me," Priscilla snapped as she walked over and sat on Sirius's left on the edge of his desk. She crossed her legs, put her hands in her lap and looked over at him. Sirius placed both of his feet firmly on the ground. When he realized that Priscilla had come to talk, he leaned back slightly in his chair and folded his hands over his stomach.

"Well, what do you need?" Sirius said, somewhat bitingly.

"I just wanted to come in and talk to my husband," Priscilla said. Sirius could tell that she was somewhat stung, so he softened a bit.

"I'm sorry, honey," he said gently with a slight tilt of his head.

"Well, I just feel like we haven't really had a chance to just sit and talk to each other in a long time like we used to," Priscilla said softly after a moment. The anger that had been in her voice a moment ago had disappeared.

"I know," Sirius said. "We've just both been busy, and we've had other things on our minds." There were a few moments of silence before either of them spoke again.

"How's the case going?" Priscilla asked as she glanced over at the papers spread out across Sirius's desk.

"As good as it can go, I guess," Sirius said.

"It must be hard defending a company whose practices you hate so much," she said. She put her hands behind her on the desk, leaned back slightly, and rested her head on her shoulder. Sirius then went into a tirade about the company he was defending and Priscilla listened intently. She was not very political, but he knew she leaned more toward his own ideology. She shook her head angrily at the right moments, nodded at the right moments, spoke at the right moments, and did everything at the right moments. Priscilla told him to just stay the course for now because one day the firm would be his, and then he would be able to take cases that he was passionate about. Sirius knew she was right, and for the first time in months, he was enjoying Priscilla's company. He remembered what it was like before they were married, and he sighed in spite of himself.

Priscilla then began to talk about the latest gossip in the New York social circles. She talked about the drama between the ladies and the latest rumor that one woman had deliberately purchased the same dress as another woman and showed up at a Hamptons party to show her up. Sirius barked and roared with laughter as she made fun of the socialites and all of their petty and useless drama. In this moment, Sirius remembered why he loved his wife so much. He was sitting close to her with his hand on her bare knee as she told the stories animatedly. After a few more minutes, they both sat in contented silence as Sirius calmed down from his laughter and Priscilla relaxed after seeming to run a marathon talking about her "friends."

Eventually, Priscilla said, "I've missed you, Sirius."

Sirius studied her for a moment before he said, "I've missed you, too, Pris," as he squeezed her knee slightly. Priscilla then stood up and took a step toward him. Then she lifted one of her legs and straddled Sirius's lap as she pulled her dress above her waist. She put her hands on his neck and brought her mouth down to his. Sirius put his hands on Priscilla's waist and opened his mouth against hers, allowing their tongues to find each other and massage each other softly. She moved up and down against him as they kissed deeply. After several more moments, Priscilla pulled her mouth away from Sirius's and they both gasped lightly for air. She put her forehead against his and spoke against his mouth.

"Give me a baby, Sirius," she whispered. He frowned very slightly and captured her mouth with his once more. He kissed her for a little while longer and when her hands moved down to unbutton his pants, he put his hands on her wrists and stopped her.

"Pris," he hissed. "I can't do this right now." Priscilla pulled her hands from his grip and stood up from his lap quickly. She turned to walk away, but he stood up and grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. He put his arms around her waist, but she left her arms hanging limply at her sides and did not look up at him. "I'm sorry, honey, I just have so much work to do… this case… But tonight it will be you and me, I promise… and I'll… I'll give you what you want."

Priscilla looked up at him with a slightly saddened look on her face, but she said, "Okay" with a small smile. She stood on the tips of her toes and planted a soft kiss on Sirius's lips before she pulled herself from his grip walked from his study.

When she closed the door behind her, Sirius walked back to his chair and collapsed into it. He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. Sirius wanted to make Priscilla happy, but he knew he could not have had sex with her in that moment. He did not want to have sex with his wife while he was still thinking of Remus.

Preview for next chapter:

After about an hour and a half, Sirius thought that Remus could use a break on this hot day, so he walked over to the glass door and slid it open, trying to get Remus's attention over the sound of the lawn mower. Finally, Remus looked up and smiled right before he killed the mower.