It's been two days since I went out for drinks with Collin, two days since Castle completely blew me off, blew off talking to me. He's finally back in the precinct, still acting different. I don't even know if I want him around anymore, well at least not this fake version of him.
It's like one of those bad dreams where everything around you is going wrong and when you ask for answers as to what's going on, no one will answer you. It's a reoccurring nightmare with him lately; that I just want to end. I miss my partner, my best friend, I miss my…
"Hey Beckett, can I have a word?" He asked walking up to me with only one coffee in hand, already a punch to the stomach.
"Uh… yeah, sure." I said as I put my papers back in the folder they belonged in.
"What's up?" I studied him, worrying, as he sat down next to me with a serious look on his face.
"I've been recently hanging out with the detectives on the other floor, and detective Slaughter" He tilted his head, his eyes widened a bit, a shrug in his stance, he was nervous or unsure, I couldn't quite grasp it.
"You know detective Slaughter right?"
"Yeah…?" it was more of a question from me than an answer, I didn't know where he was getting with this.
"Well, I've been told he's very experienced with gang violence and what not, and what better than to follow him around when I'm trying to write that gang scene in my book and-." He tried to play it off innocently, like he wasn't completely breaking up our partnership. He stopped mid-sentence, due to what I'm guessing would be my facial expression.
"I mean I figured… since my book is almost done and I just need to get the last of the details for it, why not get the feel of-" I cut him off this time.
"Shadowing another detective?" it was painful to say that, I've never imagined once throughout our whole rela-… partnership that he would ever just replace me like that.
"Hey Ricky! I thought I'd find you up here, Uh we got a case, you in?" Slaughter interrupted us, making this even more difficult for me. I could feel the lump in my throat growing, fighting back the tears full of hurt and disbelief.
Castle turned to look at me as if it mattered what I thought anymore?
"Uh.. Yeah, where at?" He said as he turned back to Slaughter.
"Hey there Detective, I'm guessing you heard I'm taking your little partner here for a bit?" He said jokingly. I can't really be mad at this guy, he doesn't know the fact that me and Castle's partnership means more to me than I'd ever like to admit.
I fought back the liquid tugging at my eyes with a smile disguising the hurt. Castle knew I was faking it, he had to know.
"Yeah, I-I guess so." My voice cracked a bit. Slaughter didn't seem to notice, Rick definitely did as he turned his head my way, his eyes had a hint of worry in them (as if he cares) but it then faded into a disbelieving smile as he looked up to Slaughter.
"Well we better head out then." Castle said as he picked up his coffee and got out of his seat with a swoosh of air.
"Yeah, don't want to keep anyone waiting." Slaughter said as he looked at his watch then at me, with a smug wink.
"See you around Detective." He turned and started to walk off, not waiting for Castle.
"So uh…I'll uh, see you around?" Rick said as if he wasn't sure if we'd see each other again.
I wanted to plead him to stay with me, to not leave me, to love me, to remain my partner, to not break his promise of Always, but I couldn't find my voice. The lump in my throat had won, and I just couldn't speak, I wanted so badly to cry out that I love him, but it just wouldn't happen.
Before I could answer Castle, Slaughter was yelling for him to "get his ass over there, that they didn't have all day."
Castle gave me a sorrow filled look threw his eyes and ran off to catch up with Slaughter in the elevator.
When they were finally out of sight, I clenched at my scar that lye over my breaking heart. The knot in my stomach had won over, making me feel nauseous. Tears creped down slowly, I could feel the downhearted warmth of the salty fluid running down my cheeks; getting up quickly making sure no one witnessed me like this, I made my way to the restrooms.
"It's like he's cheating on us." Ryan said to Espo and me as we watched Castle laughing outside of the break room with Slaughter and his buddies.
"Yeah bro, this is so not cool." Esposito chimed in, not happy about how Castle has been acting either.
"Yeah well… it's his choice." I squinted looking down at the coffee I was about to down.
"well his choice sucks." Ryan huffed.
"Got that right." Esposito's eyebrow risen with anger as he eyed down the laughter coming from the group of guys that had stolen Castle.
I looked up at them as well, hating the fact that Slaughter got to have Castle and I couldn't, he's my partner? Well, at least that's what I thought, that is until he decided that I'm not a fun enough partner for him to shadow anymore.
"I think we should give him a piece of our mind!" Esposito nearly growled at Ryan.
"YEAH!" Ryan agreed, anger and betrayal running high in both of them
"You guys calm down" I rolled my eyes at them "If he wants to play with the big boys, let him." I tried to act like I didn't care, like I didn't see what was actually going on.
"Beckett doesn't this bother you?" Ryan asked confusion crossing his features.
"Well yeah, but-…"
"but what? He's acting selfish, just leaving us behind like that? Who does he think he is!" Esposito nearly yelled, he was hurt, he doesn't do well with one of his own betraying him. Because yes, we do consider Castle to be one of our own, even if he acts like a nine year old on a sugar rush.
"Espo calm down, you know Castle's full of himself, it's probably just a faze, he'll get over it." I didn't know if I was trying to convince the guys more so than myself, because I didn't know if this was just some faze, being completely honest I had no idea what the hell was going on anymore.
I hope you are enjoying this, I don't know if I like how I'm writing this. Like, how it's a one person view on things, normally I like it to be the narrator speaking AKA me ;) lol. I might change things, idk yet. Anywho REVIEW PLEASE