Confessions of a Stalkoholic
Summary: "Hi, my name is Sakura Haruno, and I'm a stalkoholic."
Rated: T
Pairings: Sasusaku, ShikaIno
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. It sucks, but I don't.
Chapter 3
I stood ramrod straight, shoulders back, and chin held high as Ino examined me, looking for even the slightest imperfection. It was kind of discomforting, with her eyes racking me up and down, slowly and thoroughly. She then proceeded to take a step over and scrutinize me from a different angle. The process took an hour, with all of her little touch-ups.
I would much rather spend my time watching the latest episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians (or should I say KarTRASHians?). Just saying.
But, I had to admit, I looked really good. I was nothing compared to Ino, who just rolls out of bed looking gorgeous, but I could definitely come in a close second.
My dress was short and flirty, an apple green hue to match my eyes, and thin straps to hold it up (the last thing I needed was for my boobs to pop out on the dance floor. I was already showing more leg than I was comfortable with!). The neckline showed a tantalizing amount of cleavage, and accentuated my curves in all the right places. Goodbye size six, hello size two! There were little ringlets in my hair, and of course, my fancy-shmancy diamond studs adorned either ear (shove it, Karin).
But the shoes were show stoppers, and I knew it. Three words: Stil. ett. os. Strappy and sexy, the heels wound up my thighs, and sparkled in the light (the fabric was shimmery). They may have been a little impractical, but I've always been a fashion-before-function kind of girl.
What can I say? I looked hot!
But if I was hot, then Ino was on fire.
Her golden hair was down, perfectly splayed across her shoulders, and she had a small diamond-encrusted bow in her hair. Her dress was the palest of blue, almost white, and was a modern, party dress version of a ball gown, with the voluminous folds of her skirt cropped at the knee. To top it off, her heels were made of a see-through material. She was a 21st century Cinderella, and I was merely her lowly servant, brought to this planet to fluff her pillows and make her scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast.
Woe is me.
My whiny, pathetic, schoolgirl complexity issues aside, I was excited. Suigetsu always threw the best parties, and tonight was sure to be a blast. That wasn't the only reason I was eager to get going. Rumors were circulating that Sasuke was planning to attend (okay, so maybe they weren't exactly rumors, but I just overheard him and Naruto talking about it. Just overheard. I wasn't eavesdropping!).
Tonight was the night. I was finally going to approach him (cue gasps)!
I already had it all figured out:
I would walk into the room, looking practically perfect in every way. Sasuke would be sitting next to Naruto, angstily picking at his tomatoes (ew), and surveying the crowd.
Our eyes would meet across the crowd, and his jaw would drop, as I sexily winked at him (Sakura the Seductress! I like it), pushing my boobs up for maximum cleavage (not that that would help, Sasuke doesn't have hormones. This was established in fifth grade, during the "family life" unit at Konoha Elementary. I don't think he even blinked during our 'lady parts' discussion).
He would stand up, brusquely shoving the hordes of adoring females away from him in his haste to reach me. The pesky fangirls would watch me with envy, plotting my demise in horrible, nasty ways.
Finally reaching me, Sasuke would gaze down at me he with his smoldering, endless onyx eyes, and say-
That was it. I just couldn't figure out what he would say.
Hey, Sakura, what's up?
I've loved you forever and ever, be mine?
The rednecks are coming?
I had no. Friggin'. Idea!
Maybe we could just skip the conversation part and go straight to making out. I entertained the thought of this as Ino and I climbed into her hot pink slugbug convertible, otherwise known as 'Miss Lovebug'. Yes, Ino names her cars. It's not like I can talk though, considering I don't even have one.
My mind is not a child-friendly place.
Before my thoughts could go anywhere near Rated X, I turned on the radio, and the sound of slow, depressing, stuff-your-head-in-your-pillow-and-cry music filled the car. The hell? Last time I checked, Ino liked the upbeat, annoying, get-stuck-in-your-head-at-the-WORST-POSSIBLE-MOMENT kind of songs.
Glancing at the info bar, the title of the song read 'Lost Cause, Broken Soul'. The station it was on was favorited. Shifting my gaze over to Ino, I noticed Ino mouthing the words.
Oh my God. Ino had been abducted by aliens.
Ahem.
Awkwardly clearing my throat, I addressed Ino. "So… this song's really… nice." I said, although the intonation of my voice posed it more as a question.
"Isn't it? It's just so easy to connect with!" Ino replied.
I was actually having a hard time connecting with it, considering how the singer was currently screeching about how he would rather kill himself than be without his ex-girlfriend.
Firstly, he was obviously a little disturbed.
Secondly, he needed to move on.
Thirdly, Ino was freaking the effin' crap out of me. Was that why she was in therapy? Because she was suicidal?
The topic of Ino's motives for therapy had never really come up, and I hadn't ever wondered why she had enlisted. The one and only session I had been to hadn't really addressed anyone's problems, other than my own. Karin and I had been too busy trying to claw each other's eyes out.
Before I could broach the topic, though, Ino pulled over on the curb next to Suigetsu's apartment building.
Suigetsu lived as an emancipated minor, as he had been kidnapped by some pedophile when he was younger, brought to America, and lived with his abuse for five years, before finally kneeing him in the groin and calling the cops.
Needless to say, he could take care of himself.
We clacked over (our heels were very loud) to the buzzing system, and rang for Apartment 7-E. The doors opened, and even from the first floor, I could hear the music pounding.
Briefly I wondered how on Earth Suigetsu had managed to clear a party of this size with the building manager, until I noticed a figure slumped over on the desk, with many many many beer bottles scattered around him.
Clever, clever Suigetsu.
Stepping into the elevator (Thank God it wasn't out of order- there was no way in Hell I was walking seven flights of stairs in my stilettos), I watched as the floor numbers blinked past.
With a ding, the doors slid open, and Ino and I stepped over numerous stoners and druggies (both conscious and not) as we picked our way carefully across the hall.
Ino stopped for a moment before the correct door, and a strange look came over her features, but it passed too quickly for me to decipher, and she knocked without missing another beat.
A voice behind the door whispered, "Password?"
"Sexyback."
Faintly I could hear the rustling of a lock, and then the door swing open.
We were in.
.
"Ew," I said loudly to Hinata, whom Ino had introduced to me before promptly disappearing. She really had the whole Cinderella thing down, from the show-stopping entrance (some people were still gaping at her, forty-five minutes later), to the disappearing act. Last I saw her, she was chatting with Shikamaru, and looked like she was in pain. I don't know if she ate some bad shrimp, or was worried about how much damage Shikamaru would do to her cool-factor (he wasn't exactly prime real-estate), but I thought she was going to start hyperventilating, from the look on her face.
"What?" Hinata asked, her cheeks flushed from all the drinks we'd been having. I found that the alcohol really helped ease her (TOTALLY ANNOYING) stutter, so naturally, I had gotten her more than what was probably healthy.
Hinata, surprisingly, was really fabulous, and we were becoming fast friends. I thought she might despise me after my little episode in therapy, but she was a loving and forgiving person (Praise the Lord), and we had been chatting all night.
"Look," I responded, pointing at a couple over in the far corner, clearly having the time of their lives.
"Oh, grode." Hinata said, a look of disgust etched on her face.
Then, to my utter surprise, she yelled, "HEY! YOU TWO! GET A ROOM!"
Ah, the wonders of alcohol!
Five minutes later, we were still laughing. "Impressive, Hinata! I didn't know you had that in you!"
"Oh, really?" she replied. "Well then, are you up for a challenge?"
"Bring it!" I was always up for a challenge.
Surveying the room, Hinata got an evil look in her eye. "I dare you to make out with him." She pointed her finger across the room, over to a couch filled with loud-mouthed perverts (cough-cough NARUTO)… and Sasuke, the proud recipient of Hinata's finger-point.
Ohhhhhh no.
Hinata, sensing my hesitation, goaded me. "Unless you're too chicken."
Well, I had been planning on approaching him anyway…
It was so on.
"Not on your life!" I exclaimed, hopping out of my seat. I don't know if I was imagining things, but it seemed like the crowd parted for me on my way over.
Maybe there were just less people in the room, because it seemed like everybody had taken Hinata's earlier suggestion and gotten a room of their own.
Being single sucks, sometimes.
I paused about three feet away from where Sasuke was sitting, psyched myself up, and sauntered over, complete with hip-swinging and eyelash-fluttering.
"Hi, Sasuke-kun." I said in my most flirtatious voice, pressing myself against his (so, so toned!) body.
He glanced at me, a bored and hazy look in his eyes, and grunted, "Hn."
What?
WHAT?
What?
A 'hn'?
After all my preparation, both physical and mental, I get a 'HN'?
Damn those stupid 'hns'!
I was infuriated, and my rage gave me confidence. In fact, it gave me enough confidence to skip the idle chit-chat and pull Sasuke's head to mine, much to Hinata's pleasure. I could hear her cheering me on across the room, and that was saying something, considering I could barely hear myself think.
The only thing running through my mind was !
I don't know where Sasuke got all his experience, but he was an amazing kisser.
Suddenly it was only me and him on the couch, and I don't mean that in the cliché, I only noticed me and him, kind of way. I mean, everyone else got off the couch, and the crowd around us whooped and hollered. After all, it wasn't every day the Uchiha Sasuke kissed a girl. Actually, I was almost positive this was the only day Uchiha Sasuke kissed a girl (I would know, I've watched him every day throughout his adolescent years).
Sasuke's mouth moved down to the hollow of my neck, and began to start sucking a particularly sensitive area as I moaned in pleasure. The Twihard in the back of my mind thought this was such a Twilight moment, as Sasuke was both gorgeous and strong enough to be a Cullen.
Bringing his lips back to mine, I traced my tongue around the outline of his mouth, and I was rewarded with a deep, masculine, lustful groan. My fingers combed through his silky raven-colored locks, and his own hands were crawling up from my butt (which was a shame, he was good with massages) to my waist, to my torso and OH MY GOD HE WAS TOUCHING MY BOOBS!
HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY- Oh, that felt so good! The crowd around us was cheering even louder, and I picked out a few wolf-whistles. I moved my hands down to the hem of his shirt, and he pulled it over his head, as I shivered in pleasure. I raked my tongue over his, well, everything, as he cried out in ecstasy.
His hands crept under my dress and toyed with the thin strip of fabric I called underwear, pulling them down, inch-by-inch, and then, suddenly, he wasn't.
I registered three things as Ino pulled me away.
One: She was crying, and I mean actually crying, her tears not graceful at all. Ino was losing it, and this was the only reason I didn't protest as she pulled me through the apartment doors, down the sidewalk, and into the car.
Two: The radio station was still playing the miserable music, the lyrics even more heartbreaking than before, if that was possible.
But despite both of these things, I couldn't keep a smile off of my face as I ran three over and over through my head:
Maybe Sasuke had hormones after all.
.
A/N: Sorry, I'm in a huge rush to get to a friend's house, so this is the best note you're going to get! Thank you everyone for your wonderful feedback, and as always, R&R! Ack, I'm so late!