A/N All relationship all the time...don't worry we need to work through it so we can get to the case and also set the stage for their new work and home dynamics.

Chapter 2

They arrived at the Old Haunt fairly quickly. Beckett sat down at the bar and ordered two glasses of wine, as Castle went to go find Brian, the manager. The new bartender, Robbyn, was a pretty brunette, a single mother who was working two jobs to help take care of her kids. Beckett knew that Castle had personally hired her, and was reimbursing her night school expenses for getting a paralegal degree. Beckett had talked with her a number of times and had put her in touch with her mom's old law firm.

Castle came back, waving to Robbyn, and grabbing his wine glass. "Ready to head down?"

"Sure, you have me curious about this redecorating"

Hooking her elbow with his arm, he guided her to the basement stairwell and motioned for her to head down.

Getting to the bottom of the stairs, Kate let out an audible gasp. Castle had completely redone the office. Dark wood paneling covered the walls, and the floor was done in a dark cherry wood. A large desk covered with papers took over a whole corner section, but the rest of the office was dominated by 6 large chairs around a round table, a book case filled with books, and a small mini bar. On top of the mini bar were several of the infamous red glass bottles of scotch as well several other high end liquors. Framed prints, some of his book covers, others of his favorite movies- Forbidden Planet, Star Wars, Maltese Falcon, and China Town. Recessed lighting, dimmed, gave the room a warm and inviting feeling.

"Castle, wow, this is fantastic. When did you finish this?"

"About 2 weeks ago, but we have been so busy; I haven't had much time to enjoy it. I set it up to be my new poker hangout, and just a good get away. I was going to have you and the boys down soon, but it's just been so crazy."

"Well I am sure that they would love to visit, our next off days are in 4 days, assuming that we are not in the middle of a case. How about I help you set something up."

Castle looked at her, somewhat surprised that she was helping him make the plans. "That would be great, see if Lanie and Jenny want to join as well."

"Sounds like a plan." Beckett took a seat in one of the plush chairs, folding her legs underneath her. Taking a sip of her wine, she saw Castle watching her, tenderness in his eyes, as he took a seat next to her, raising the wine glass to his lips.

Both of them sat silently, each lost in their thoughts, even though they kept stealing glances at each other. Castle broke the silence first.

"How's your dad doing?"

"Fine, he was back at the cabin for a week with some of his friends for a guys week. I am going to try and have dinner with him in a few days.

"He should come to the poker party'" Castle offered.

"I'll ask him, I think he would like that." Beckett replied. "How are Martha and Alexis?"

"Good, mother is spending a lot of time at the acting school, but it seems to be paying off, one of her star students, got a decent part in an off Broadway show, and a couple of her other students have lined up some commercial and TV work. Alexis seems to be enjoying her shadowing with Lanie, I know she is learning a lot. Maybe too much."

"I really should apologize for that, I didn't mean for her to hear that, and I wasn't being fair to you." Beckett replied, knowing that she and Castle had moved on from the argument, but still not addressed it, like so many other things in their relationship.

"No, I should have been more honest with you about Sophia. I guess I was nervous about how you would view our…partnership, knowing that I had shadowed another muse. It is true though, what we have is nothing like what it was like with Sophia and me."

"I know, and for what it's worth, I understand. I told you that all women keep secrets for the sake of a relationship, and its not just women. To be honest, Rick, I was jealous. I was jealous that you had something with her, that you looked at her and her cool spy toys with such awe, and that she seemed to know you better than I did."

"She knew the old Castle, Kate, not the person I have become the last four years. Being your partner has changed me. Despite the jokes and innuendo, you have to admit that I have matured, become a better person, and it's all because of you."

Kate looked at him, noting the conviction in his voice. How could she tell him what he had meant to her, how he had saved her, not just her life, but her sanity, her emotional wellbeing? "Castle…Rick.." The words seemed to dry out her mouth. She was so close, she wanted to tell him that she heard him that day in the cemetery, that she remembered everything and that while she couldn't dive in to the deep end just yet, she was hoping he would take her hand and wade out a little deeper with her.

"Kate?"

" I remember the cemetery!" she just blurted it out, the words tumbling out like a shot, her secret no longer able to be contained.

"I remember getting shot, I remember you tackling me, I remember you holding me and I remember you telling me that you love me." The words came out fast and she was not even sure how coherent she was but she saw the look of shock that came over his face as he struggled, his body not sure to lean back in shock or lean forward to grab her hands.

It took him long agonizing seconds to get his tongue working, his writers mind struggling to form a coherent thought and then translate that into words.

"I..I am not sure what to say." He got up and paced around the office, his head down, not looking at her. "Part of me is not surprised; I think at some level I suspected that you heard me that day. But why Kate, why tell me now?

"You deserved to know" her voice sounded stronger than she felt.

"That may be true, but it's not what I want. Telling me you heard me doesn't matter, what does matter is what you think about that, what do you feel about those words?" He had stopped pacing, had taken a step closer to her and was watching her intently.

"I am not sure to be honest. I told you the truth that day on the swings, but what I had not realized at the time that maybe there was another way, that maybe I didn't need the wall to come down, but that I needed someone to help be build a bridge over it. That's what I have been working on in therapy, getting to the point where I can accept what happened to my mom, what happened to me, and even if its not resolved, right now, that it won't stop me from living and loving." Her eyes had grown dark, and tears pooled at the edge, every so often slipping down her cheek.

"Are you saying you want to build a bridge with me?" Castle asked, taking another step forward.

"I'm saying that you are the only one who has been able to get me to accept that there is another way to live. Yes, I want you to help me build a bridge, and I want you to help me become someone worthy of your love, and someone who can return the feeling without reservation."

"Kate" He breathed and grabbing her arms pulled her up to him in a warm embrace. She accepted it, wrapping her arms around him, and hugged him as hard as she could. She felt happy, more complete than she had in a long time and despite the remnants of tears in her eyes she felt a smile on her lip.

"Kate, I need to tell you something." His voice sounded shaky.

"That you love me?" Kate replied with a low growl.

"I do love you, but I have something I need to tell you, it's about your mom's case, about your shooting."

Castle could feel her entire body tense at his words. He gripped her body tighter as he leaned his head back to look at her eyes. "Please let me speak, let me explain before you react." Kate tensed even further, but Castle could see a resolve in her eyes that she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, for the moment.

"After you were shot, you know that the boys and I worked your shooting, we left no stone unturned, and we followed leads that were thinner than a hair. You know it led us to the banking files, and you know that the fire seems to have destroyed them. I know you so badly wanted to dive back into solving your mom's case and by extension your shooting. You know that I tried to get you to slow down to let it lie. What I didn't tell you was the full reason why."

Castle loosened his grip and silently directed her to sit. Kate was so focused on his words that she numbly sat.

"After you came back I received a phone call. It was a man, he said he was a friend of Montgomery, that Montgomery had sent him some files, files that if they were released would damage and damn some very powerful people. Apparently Montgomery was using these files as leverage to keep his family and you safe. Before he made his stand he wanted to make sure that his family and you would be protected even after his death and so he sent this man those files. Mr. X, as I call him, told me that it was now my responsibility to stop you from investigating any further, and that if I did that, then these files would ensure that you would stay safe, that you would stay alive.

Beckett sat there, unmoving, not making a sound, but Castle noted that her eyes had dimmed, her face had slackened. Internally pushing himself, he knew he had to tell Kate the whole truth.

"Mr. X said it was the only way to keep you safe, that these men would kill you, kill your father, and possibly even Montgomery's family. What he never said was that anyone else, including me, couldn't look further. So I did. I pushed you to let the case lie, so that I could keep you safe, but I kept investigating, hoping to try and bring you the justice you deserve. I hadn't learned much, though I had some theories that were making sense, were rational even, by my standards. And then the mayor got involved.

"The mayor?" Kate's first words let Castle know she was listening, and that as hard at it was for her, she was going to let him finish the story, before likely walking away from him for good.

"While we were investigating Wheldon, I received another call from Mr. X. We met and he told me that Wheldon was being targeted, both as a means to end his political future, but as a means to remove me from the precinct. With Wheldon gone, I would be kicked out, and then no one would stop you from looking into the case. I assumed that this was a ploy to target you again, and negate any leverage by saying that Mr. X had not followed through with his part of the bargain. After we cleared Wheldon, things Jordan Norris said, things that Wheldon said, let's just say that one of my more out there but possible theories got some circumstantial support."

Castle, who had been pacing during his confession, stopped in front of Beckett, grabbing her hands he knelt down.

"Kate, I want you to know that I did this to protect you, that I was willing to forgo building a life with you in order to keep you safe. I am the last person to want to see evil win, but I could not, I will not, let justice for your mom come at the expense of your life, and I know that she would not want that either. You can hate me, you can leave, but know that I will never stop loving you, that I will never stop trying to protect you, and that I would give up everything I have to protect you, just like I would my mother or Alexis."

Beckett's tears were slowly making their way down her face as he watched her struggle to process what he had just said. In light of her confession, that she was trying to move forward without having closure, he hoped that he could find it in her heart to forgive her.

Standing, Kate began to pace the office. Castle noted with a slight relief that she did not try and flee the basement as soon as she stood.

"I don't know what to say Castle. I am angry, devastated, sad, relieved, happy, and in awe, all at the same time and I don't know what to say or do."

"I know Kate, I know this is tough. I can see a future for us, but not with those secrets hanging over our heads. But we have a choice to make, and one that will define how our relationship starts, or ends. What do we want to do? I am honestly not sure anymore what to do about the case, there are so many dead ends, so many theories without facts, without evidence. What you said earlier about building a bridge, if you really meant it, then I am willing to drop the case, but you have to promise me the same.

Kate looked at him, focused her eyes on his. "What if I can't do that?"

Sighing, Rick rubbed his eyes as he sat down. "I am not sure, let me ask you this, IF…and this is a big IF, we worked this case together, would you step away if it meant saving my life, saving your life, and not getting an answer?"

"Yes!" the speed at which the reply came surprised them both. "Rick if there is one thing that the therapy has helped me understand better is that living my life is not disappointing my mother. I know that she is dead; she can't be disappointed or angry with me. Living my life means not letting my mom's death consume me, and finding a balance."

"I am still so unsure of what to do Kate. I have this feeling that we are pawns in a larger game, and at the end of the day we are going to get sacrificed. No one has threatened me, no one has tried to kill me, so whatever I am doing, they either don't care, haven't noticed, or I am being protected by someone else."

"Kate do you trust me?" Castle stood and moved closer to her

"With my life." She replied.

'Then here is what we are going to do." His authoritative tone shocked her, not used to taking orders. "We are going to work this case together, but we are going to do it on my terms. First all work related to the case is done at the loft. Second you will not meet or talk with any leads that we develop. Third if at any point either of us begins to feel uncomfortable or if even the hint of a threat is directed at one of us or our family, then we stop, immediately, and we do so with the full knowledge that it might be permanent."

Lastly, if at any point I think you are getting to deep into the case, to the point that it is affecting you, I will put the investigation on hold or stop it for good."

Kate looked at him, and he could see the anger and annoyance at him filtering through her face and her eyes. He said nothing, wanting her to accept the terms, and by doing so accept his role this investigaton. He kept staring at her watching as her emotions battled with her rational mind.

"Rick, the only way that is going to work is if you agree to my terms."

He tensed, waiting for the battle to begin, knowing that when this went badly that their whole relationship was likely finished. But she had done him the courtesy of listening to his terms, the least he could do was listen to her's and see if there was anything he could salvage from this

"First, you have to share everything, and I mean everything that you have found and think you have found with me, and you will tell me immediately when you have something new. Second, if any point I think you or your family is being threatened then we stop, no matter the cost. And lastly, that if at some point I decide this is no longer worth it and we close the investigation, you will NEVER, re-open it without my express permission."

Kate's face remained stoic, her eyes locked on Castle. His eyes focused on her, as he desperately tried to read her. He knew he could live with her terms, but he needed to know how serious she was about living up to her end. All he could see reflected was a quiet resolve, hope, and yes still love.

Striding forward Castle captured her in an embrace, but instead of closing in for a hug, his lips desperately sought hers. Shocked at first, she responded, returning the kiss and deepening it, slightly parting her lips to allow her tongue to crash into his. Neither one wanted to break the kiss, but the need to breathe, and their quickening heart rates had them both pulling apart at the same time. They remained close, his arms around her waist and her hands resting slightly on his chest.

"Is that a yes?" she asked.

"A thousand times yes, Kate." He replied pressing another kiss to her lips.

"One last thing." Kate whispered. "I don't want to start working on her case right away, I want to make my life a priority for a bit, make our relationship a priority. We let it go for another month, and we take the time to enjoy life and each other, and then we will sit down and start, together."

"I would love nothing better." He placed a quick kiss on her lips again, thinking that he was never going to tire of doing that.

"What do you want to do now?" He asked letting her lead the pace, giving her the control he knew she needed in order to feel comfortable with the massive change that had just taken place in their lives.

"Home, Rick, take me home. I don't want to rush things, but there is nothing I want to do more right now than fall asleep with you beside me, wake up tomorrow morning with you beside me, have breakfast with you beside me, and go to work tomorrow with you beside me. Always"

His smile could have lit a city. "Always."

Turning to leave, he held her hand and they ascended the staircase back up to the main bar. Walking outside they made their way to the car and Castle opened the driver side door to let Kate in. She smiled and watched him, excitedly walk to the passenger side to get in. Pulling out into traffic she turned left and started to accelerate.

"Kate, your going the wrong way, your apartment is back that way."

"I said we were going home Castle." She replied, and she saw the look of pure love and wonder cover his face. "Besides I like the coffee and breakfast food at your place better." She joked with him.

A/N

I was a little unsure about tackling their secrets and I am not sure I got the essence right. I tried to veer away from too much angst on this reveal, even though I am sure the show is going to play that aspect up, I remain hopeful that their love is strong enough to not make them run away but face their secrets and fears together. Next Chap is more relationship than the case starts... Alerts and reviews are always appreciated.