A/N: Warning, this installment to the phobia drabbles contains slash; if you don't like it, don't read.
Nyctophobia: Extreme fear of the darkness.
Whimpering, he tried to remain as still as possible. Doing his best to remain level headed as the older man tied the blindfold in place, he realized he wasn't doing a very good job of controlling his emotions. His breaths were coming out in harsh and fast gasps. "Please take it off," he begged quietly, wishing he'd never agreed to this. Big hands gently took his hands as he struggled to untie the blindfold.
"Deep breaths, everything is okay," Hotch whispered soothingly, using his cuffs to secure his hands behind his back. When the metal clicked his hands behind his back, his heart pumped even harder in his chest. He struggled to hear what was going on around him, and he could feel Hotch's eyes on him.
The hand on his chest made him flinch back, "Hotch, I don't want to do this anymore." He knew how pathetic he sounded, but he was willing to beg on his knees if Hotch would just end this.
"What is it your afraid of? Tell me what your feeling right now, what your thinking," Hotch's voice was right next to his ear, and he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand on edge.
"I feel like something is on my chest, too heavy for me to breathe. I know your there, but not knowing where you are or what your doing is terrifying," he answered in a panicky whisper. When Hotch's hand started to slide down his chest, he squirmed helplessly. "Please, please," he resorted back to begging, "Just untie me and take off the blindfold."
Hotch's hand stilled, then moved back up to cup his face, "What happens when your in the dark, Spencer?" Reid knew exactly what he was asking him to share, and he didn't know where to start.
"My dad would come into my room in the dark, and when I closed my eyes and pretended I wasn't there; I couldn't see what he was doing, but it made me feel it even more distinctly. When my mom would have an episode, she'd say I was sent by the government to extract information; and she'd lock me away in a closet until she checked the house for bugs. When she was done, she'd come back, she'd insist that I called them, and she'd throw things at the door and call me the devil," he realized he hadn't taken a breath, and he inhaled sharply before continuing, "One time the kids at school locked me in a janitors closet, and I wet myself. They saw when they finally let me out, and I could never live it down." His voice finally broke, and he bowed his head. Tears dampened the material over his eyes, and he did his best to suppress his sobs. "They laughed, they all laughed, everyone laughed."
Hotch's other hand came up to cup the other side of his narrow face, and Reid could feel his breath on his lips. "I'm not laughing, Spencer. Those are terrible memories to have associated with the dark, and your fear is understandable," he quietly reassured, his fingers brushing through Reid's sweaty hair. "There's no one here Reid, just you and I. Nothing is going to hurt you, no one is going to laugh at you." Hotch's gentle and soothing voice floated around him and filled the room.
"Darkness is the absent of light," he blurted out randomly, feeling the need to explain himself further.
"So your not afraid of the dark, your afraid of the absent of light," Hotch concluded, never taking his hands from Reid's body.
"Something like that," Reid said quietly. "Sometimes, after a bad case or just a day that fills my mind with memories, I'm afraid to shut my eyes." Unsure of why he couldn't stop himself from telling Hotch his deepest demons, the words just kept coming, "As soon as I close my eyes, I can feel his hands on me, hear my mother's screams, hear their laughter," he choked on his words, and Hotch pressed his chest up against his. "I cried, Hotch. I begged, I screamed; and no one listened."
"Sh, Spencer. I'm not going to do anything you don't want to do, I'm not going to yell or laugh at you," he promised, placing a gentle kiss right above the blindfold. "You can be afraid, Reid. I wont leave you, I'll protect you."
Hotch stood up slowly, and Reid shrank back against the bed behind him. The feeling of someone looming over him, even Hotch, was suffocating. If Hotch felt him jump when he touched his arm, he pretended he didn't. He wasn't here to fix Spencer's fear of the dark, he simply wanted to help him find a way to overcome the panic he felt when the dark surrounded him. "Here, stand up," he said, guiding Spencer to his feet.
Careful not to make any sudden movements, he gently pushed Reid to lay back on the bed. Reid struggled to sit up for a moment, but Hotch joined him on the bed; making sure Reid's hands weren't getting crushed on the bed by turning Reid on his side. He pressed himself against Reid's back, enveloping him in his arms. He felt the tremors of terror shoot down Reid's spine, and he placed a gentle kiss to Reid's ear. "I'm right here, everything is okay," he assured. "Next time you can't shut your eyes, I want you to think about me; my hands on you."
He emphasized his point by carefully rubbing his fingers against Reid's nipples through his shirt. The smaller body squirmed before him and he let his breath wash over the back of Reid's head. "Do you want me take it off, Spencer? We can stop, you did really good." Reid didn't answer, but his unsteady breathing was enough to answer his question. Hotch grabbed the keys to the cuffs off the nightstand and unlocked them; and Reid instantly undid the knot in the blindfold. Spencer turned over to face Hotch, and Aaron allowed him to bury himself in his chest. Relieved to see Hotch's warm dark eyes again, he did his best to crawl into his skin. The faint glow from the nightlight, that Hotch had plugged in next to the bed just for him, cast a glow on the room that lit everything up just enough for him to see. A shadow danced across the wall as a car passed outside, and he squeezed his eyes shut, and turned his face.
Hotch didn't speak, but he gently combed his fingers through Reid's hair; never loosening his grip. He appreciated everything Hotch did for him, he really did, but he didn't have the heart to tell him that nothing could make his fear of the dark go away.