Title: How It Feels
Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Characters: Yami no Malik, Ryou Bakura
Prompt: #81 How?
Word Count: 750
Chapter: 5/100
Rating: PG-13 sounds good, for the implied violence and death.
Summary: In the darkness I dwell, alone, forever. There is no one to understand me. At least, I thought there wasn't.
Author's Notes: Warnings: Implied shonen-ai, implied violence, Yami no Malik PoV most of the time.
Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! Sorry that this is a short one as well, but the longer ones are still in the making.
Do you know how it feels to be all alone? Have you ever experienced the silence closing in on you? How it feels to be the only one in the darkness?
I know. I have. I'm here. In the darkness.
I've been alone, ever since. I don't know anything else. I was 'born' into hatred, pain, madness. I reacted instinctively. I've been aware of the situation before I was awakened by a cry for help. When I opened my eyes to the world of light, I couldn't help but grin. And then there was him. My mind supplied me with all the information needed. I could feel it again, my hate for him, the pain he put me through, the grin on his face. I looked into his eyes and saw the shadows in them. That instant, I knew he would take the light away from me again.
And so I reacted, the only way I could think of. I killed him. Something in the back of my mind stirred, one thought flitting through and vanishing just as quickly. Father. I saw the blood, saw the dead body and the only thing I could do was laugh. I was free! Free of the pain, the hatred. There was only madness left. Or so I thought.
It was when I finally took in my surroundings I noticed the other persons around me. Isis- Sister and another guy, Rishid- I gasped involuntarily at the force pounding in my mind. I stared at the dark-skinned, almost bald male and he stared back. It was only thanks to the pounding getting stronger I realized the threat I so easily overlooked. I scowled, wondering why I hadn't known right away. I stepped up to him, kneeling on the floor and bound by ropes. I was free, and he wouldn't take my freedom!
I raised the dagger- golden, holy, dark, power- and the dagger came down, clattered on the floor beside the man – Rishid! - without cutting him, but the ropes instead. I stared as my vision darkened and swam, as my arms pulled around the man against my will, a chant echoing in my mind- Rishid, Rishid, Rishid- and I couldn't do anything as the darkness reclaimed me.
I felt so angry back then - but you wouldn't understand because you don't know how it feels to be here, in the dark. No, don't say anything yet. You wouldn't understand what I lived through after that as well. Yes, I got my freedom once again.
Agonizingly slow it returned, the power. I could feel it throb through my veins, and then I knew it was mine. I manipulated that traitorous mind of mine, feeding it thoughts of hatred, pain and, most important, revenge. I wanted the world to know how it is to suffer like I, I wanted them to understand. How could they, if they didn't know how it feels? But you wouldn't understand that, either.
So I filled it with my thoughts, and the more my mind thought along those lines, the stronger I got. Finally, after an eternity, I regained a hazy kind of vision. I could see shapes and knew my body moved, but I couldn't control it. I told my mind exactly that, that I wanted control, more and more. And in the end, I gained control, though not over my own body. The powerful dagger I had used to kill, that golden Rod, the symbol of control, gave me what I craved. And so I controlled others, controlled their bodies and minds, all the while influencing my own.
And then there was the day I met him. He just stood there, in my way and demanded my power. I was stunned, at first, but my mind reacted on its own. I made a powerful ally that day, but I hadn't been ready for the next shock to my system. You were weak, powerless, helpless. If it had been anyone else I would have sneered at them in disgust. However, you were a light in the dark. Meager, sure, but there nonetheless.
And that's why I only banished your other to the shadows. Your light intrigues me. But I'm not delusional. You wouldn't understand. Believe me, you wouldn't. Or do you know how it feels? To be all alone? The silence closing in on you? Being the only one in the darkness?"
.
"I know," Ryou replied evenly, staring into his eyes. "I have. I am here. In the darkness. With you."
R&R