Ashes And Rain

DGM

Chapter 9

Allen Knows

I have a headache, was Allen's first thought as he awoke from his slumber, his eyes remaining closed. He was too scared to open his eyes in fear of light blinding him and making the pain worse. Allen's stomach felt heavy and he could easily say it wasn't his stomach feeling bad. Something was on him. Not wanting to open his eyes, his right hand came out from under the comfy blanket and he touched whatever was on his stomach. A hand.

He moved it around a little more and felt something fuzzy. It wasn't the blanket. It wasn't clothes. It was different, but he was at a loss for words to describe it. Whatever laid on him, it wasn't too heavy. Maybe he should let it be. His mind changed the moment he heard a soft moan.

That was not Mana.

He couldn't stand the suspense. Allen slowly opened his eyes. He had to wait before he could see clearly because his vision was covered in bright sparkling dots and they had to adjust to the darkness he did not expect. The only light came from a window over his bed to the right. Outside the pale moon floated in the starless sky. That's the light. It wasn't too strong, but not too dim. At the current moment it was just what Allen needed.

His eyes sauntered away from the moon and landed on the most unforgettable and unforeseen sight. To make sure it was real, Allen carefully and unsteadily, arms shaking and weak-he was weak, sat up. The head slid off his stomach and in his lap. Allen stared in awe at the scene. Beauty was soundly asleep, head flat on him. "Lenalee," Allen didn't notice the word slipped his mind and out his mouth until he heard it echo off the wind.

The lassie stirred a little and her hand tightly gripped the blanket. It was plain to see she was having a distorted dream. Allen remembered having many of those. They weren't entirely bad, but they were annoying. They constantly brought up questions, left you wondering.

Allen's hand touched her face benevolently, tenderly, smoothing over her cheek. Allen appraised how pretty she looked even sleeping. You know, this is the first time he's ever called a girl pretty over and over again.

He knew there was a smile on his lips. Allen guessed it was because she was here, because she cared, wherever they were and why. With that on his mind, he thought about was happened before. It didn't strike him for awhile. It only got to him when a pain seared through the upper left area of his head. At once his hand fled to his eye.

His body trembled and he turned over a little bit, squeezing his eyes shut. What was with his eye lately? It's been hurting off and on for a week, but not like this. Never like this. Allen wanted to cry, let rain fall from his eyes for a long time. THe pain was so great he didn't see the time slipping by. All he knew was his eye was searching for akuma for the longest time. He found a few nearby, some in this building he was in, but he couldn't get his body to move to exorcise them. Not did he feel weak, but the strain in his head was too much and it fogged his vision like before.

When dawn rose, Lenalee stirred awake to discern a figure shaking. Raising her head, she saw Allen, hand covering his eye and hissing, other hand holding onto the the side of the bed, clawing into it. "Allen!"

The sudden burst made Allen jump and it caused Miranda wake up, who he had not seen. Lenalee got out of her chair and stood up, placing his hand on Allen's one shoulder. Through the pain, Allen managed a question. "Whe-where am I-I?"

"The hospital, Allen." Lenalee answered, but not concerned about that. She stared at Allen, perplexed to his pain. Was the pain caused by his past injury? Even if so, what was with all the curves on the scar? "I'll go get a nurse."

Allen grabbed her wrist and yanked her back, causing Lenalee to fall on the bed, but she quickly got to her feet. "What's wrong?"

"It's fine. . .The pa-pain will go away soon."

As if on cue, the pain lightened. It didn't go away completely, it ached and itched, but to an extent he didn't have to hunch over for and hold his eye. Hopefully that would be the last attack he got. Honestly, he would rather be shot in the chest than have to experience that. That's why it was called a curse, though, because of the pain it caused.

Relaxing, Allen leaned back against the plush pillows and the headboard. He sighed as the pain subsided. "Are you okay?" Lenalee asked.

Allen didn't want to move his head, but made lots of effort in raising his head just enough to meet her violet eyes. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine."

Lenalee held disbelief. She could see pain etched all over his face. When he vanishes she'll ask again about his eye, and Cross. "I am going to get the nurse. Miranda, watch him please."

Miranda nodded. "But. . But I'm f-"

The door creaked open and Lenalee left the room before he could finish his protest. Allen couldn't stop her because then he had to get through Miranda. If he did that, Miranda might freak out about not being able to do as asked or something. She was a very edgy woman. Allen has seen this over the last few days.

Lenalee remembered these halls well. She had once before visited Liverpool because General Klaud told Komui he might be there because of a person he knew here. They never found that person, but they came across a broker. A lot has changed in the hospital with the staffing. The director, or broker for the Earl, was no longer here and someone new stepped in.

Speaking of the past, Lenalee stumbled upon a familiar face. "Liza!"

The nurse had been talking to a few other nurses that Lenalee met when she underwent a fake aliases because of a new employee messed up on her registration. "Lenalee, is that you?" Liza smiled, pardoning herself from her fellow workers and coming over to Lenalee. "It's been a few months. Honestly I never thought I would see you again, or at least, not this soon."

"Well, my job brought me here a few days ago, and now, a friend had a problem. We had to bring him here." Lenalee explained. "In fact, my friend went through a lapse of pain. I can tell he is still in pain. I was hoping somebody could help."

Liza understood immediately. Lenalee guided her back to the room where they saw Allen waiting patiently for them. The nurse recognized the pain in his eyes just like Lenalee, meaning he wasn't doing a good job hiding it. Before either female spoke a word, Allen beat them to it. "May I leave now?"

Liza picked up a clipboard the doctor left on a stand near Allen's bed. Flipping through the papers, she shook her said. "I'm sorry, Allen, you'll be in here for at least two more days. Now, mind explaining your present issue?" Liza said as kindly as she could.

Allen turned his head around and crossed his arms like a child, giving a pouty face. As he did this, Lavi entered the room with, guess who, no one else aside from our favorite moody boy, Yuu Kanda. The girls resisted the urge to laugh at his childishness. "I don't have any problems." Allen flatly laid out.

That being laid out there, Liza giggled, walking over to him. "Don't be shy. If you continue to have troubles then we'll just have to keep you here longer." Liza said.

Allen puckered his lips in distaste. His head hastily spun back around. "What's keeping me from walking right out the doors?" He-as gentlemanly as he could-demanded to know.

"That would be us pal." Lavi said, letting everybody know they were thee.

Liza put the clipboard down and pulled out a mini-flashlight. It wasn't a very good one, but a good enough one. Turning it on, the light hit Allen's pupil harshly. Because of this, Allen withdrew, using his hands to help him back away. If something did happen to make his condition worse he would be stuck here longer. Each time Liza tried to examine him, he tried getting away until he was crawling around on the bed. He was pretty energetic for being so useless a minute ago.

Lenalee tried not to laugh, but it was hard not to. It was like he was afraid of doctors. "Allen, please, le-let her check you out!" Miranda blurted out.

Allen stopped evading Liza for a second, practically forgetting she was there. Miranda actually said something straightforwardly and it caught him off guard. Liza used this to her advantage and grabbed Allen, forcing him to sit on the bed properly and using her fingers to pulled away the edges of Allen's left eye from the eyeball. She put the light in front of it and examined his left eye.

Allen winced at the touch. It made the pain come back for an aftershock. Liza saw nothing wrong with the eye in general and was confused about why he had bled-she got this info from the clipboard describing the issue. To Allen's relief, Liza put the light away and the burning stopped and she stood up straight. "Hmmm, there's nothing wrong with it."

Allen twisted his head around again, his hand covering his eye, but it made the pain worse, so he let it drop. "Your health forms says you had a past injury on this eye." Liza said, leaving the red mark out of the statement. "It's normal for several people to have soreness in a section where a severe injury was once place. That could explain your pain, and I will assume it will fade, but probably bother you again. . . . Has this every happened before?"

". . . ."

"Allen, your eye, has it every hurt like that before?"

No answer.

"Allen, answer her!" Lenalee barked.

He grumbled something under his breath, but nobody was able to tell what he said. "Come again?" Liza responded.

"Yes," he gritted, "But I never passed out."

"Has it ever bled before?"

". . . . Not really."

Liza took that as a yes. "There's not much I can do about it since there's no present injury. It doesn't need to go through an operation-"

"Why would you even bring it up then?" Allen mumbled.

"Jeez, you're awfully crabby today." Lavi said.

"I am not!" Allen shouted, giving him this adorable childish look.

Lavi snickered. "Nope, you're acting like a kid."

Allen just about gasped at that. He really was acting like a child. "No I'm not!"

Lavi mockingly patted his head and put his blanket back over Allen, covering him up, pushing him back against the pillow and headboard. "There, there. Why don't you take a nap?"

"Lavi." He growled.

"That's enough, Lavi." Liza amusingly intervened. "Allen, I'll give you some pain killers. There's a variations of these medicines that's are applied to kids your age. I can give you an IV or straight out pills. There's many differences in the pills and the liquid pain killers."

Allen didn't want to take any, but if it meant the pain would go away faster, then fine. "Like what?" He squeaked.

"Well, there's the sedatives. That can numb the pain, but make you tired. Some will just take away the pain, then there is another one that will relatively seduce you to where you'll. . . buzz out." Liza explained.

He knew that the ones that make him have side effects were the most effective, but if he took those, there was no way to escape this place. "Pills." He muttered, puffing out his cheeks on disdain.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Liza gave Allen a cup of water and two white pills and left having to attend to other business. Reluctantly Allen swallowed the pills. During this, he looked out the window as he gulped them down. When he saw his reflection, it slowly processed his brain that his hair was snow white and his scar visible. His eyes widened.

Their friend dropped the empty cup on the floor and he remained frozen, staring at his reflection. Nobody told him they knew, but they assumed he could figure it out. White was distinctively different from brown.

Allen wasn't happy. He laid down on his back, burying his head in his pillow and bringing the sheets up to his nose. He did not look at them. He did not speak. He persisted this way for hours until an early dinner rolled around and Liza dropped by with a tray of warm, hot, and delicious food for him. He didn't move.

Allen felt terrible. He was mad at himself for not leaving the crowd when the pain came yesterday. Not only that, he found out his hand lost its glove, hand crystal clear in light. They knew. They knew! Many thoughts like this went through his head. His thoughts were disrupted when his stomach roared. Allen hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday and he was famished.

The food he smelled made him drool. Restraint, Allen, restraint! He told himself over and over again. He couldn't resist. He turned over, face still hidden, but he ogled the food. Lenalee saw this and was happy to see him move. His stomach growled again. "Hungry?" Lenalee offered the tray.

Allen shook his head no, but his stomach said otherwise, making him flush. Hesitantly, he got off his back and took the food, ignoring the stares. Allen ate slowly as possible, feeling irritable with all the eyes on him. "Allen, why did you cover up?" Lavi asked randomly. It was a answer they all wanted to hear. Not everyone was as rude as the eye-patch boy if you can tell.

Allen's fork scratched against the plate annoyingly. No one could se his eyes, then, perhaps they didn't need to.

When Allen's head rose an inch or more, his hair moved out of the way to reveal his sad eyes. He had been silent as he recollected some bad memories. "Because I'm a freak. . ."

That was something none of them planned on hearing. It left them speechless as they struggled to find soothing words to tell him he was wrong. It didn't matter how you looked at it, most people would consider him a freak. There was a small percentage that wouldn't and those that wouldn't give a damn. "For the longest time I was a freak to everyone just because of how I looked. People would stare and I couldn't handle it. My Father saw how bad I felt, so he bought some brown hair dye and helped me cover my scar with clown makeup. We traveled so much that no one knew the difference when we entered a new circus. I never had the courage to take them off permanently again."

His tone was one of grief. The memories fly by in front of him as he recalled the reasons why he had this curse and the white hair. He was going to tell them, but as if reading his mind, Lenalee said, "Mana told us how you got your appearance. You don't have to relive it again, Allen."

Kanda suppressed a tch. He tried his best to block them out. In all, he could care less, but his mentor told him to come here. He couldn't wait until the day was over so he could take off. Tomorrow Daisya would be here. "What all did he tell you?" Allen pierced his mental grunting.

"The basic, y'know, you saving a friend, choosing to become an exorcist, Cross training you personally, all that. No juicy details." Lavi said, waving his hand.

If Lavi was mistaken, he knew he wasn't since he could see the smallest difference with his trained eye, the edge of Allen's lips curved up. Mana had been considerate of Allen's feelings when telling us. To spare some dignity, Mana was letting Allen tell them what he wanted them to know. Aside from that, Miranda spoke up. "Shouldn't you be proud?" If you can consider it speaking.

"Huh?"

Stuttering, Miranda clarified nervously. "Yo-you got tha-that scar pro-protecting yo-your friend. Yo-you may ha-ha-have chan-changed in looks, but if I were yo-you, I'd e proud of wh-what I had done."

Allen obviously hadn't thought about that. He should be proud. Damn proud. He saved Mary's life, saved her Dad's soul, and he awakened a hidden power that he would someday use to fight akuma and Noah-though he just learned about them-and save lives. If only a few more. He's already done so. As long as he does this, as long as he knows what happened, as long as he knew the truth, he should care and be proud. He shouldn't hide. It was only bad if he believed it was.

Isn't that what Mana had been trying to tell him each time he disguised his outer looks?

Lenalee saw resolution filling Allen's eyes. The dullness in them began glimmering like the first time she met him. A small smile graced his face just like the first time Lenalee met him. Still, sadness was there. She knew why. "Allen, I love how you look now much better than the way you did before." Lenalee softly pitched in, adoringly gazing at Allen. It was far from a lie. Allen did look better like this. It was more befitting for his benevolence in a way. "I would have rather met this real You first rather than the hidden You at the start."

Allen blinked, then his eyes softened. He was a little flushed, but happy all the same. The gleam in his eyes showed her he was the same as yesterday when he was playing with the kids. "Thank you, both of you, Miranda and Lenalee."

Miranda's eyes bulged. He said thank you. To her. He actually said thank you. Not over action, over simple words. Miranda never would have guessed it was that easy to get over the simple things in life. She had always tried so hard since she was a little girl. Could it be that she was trying too hard and it made her fail miserably?

Allen sat more comfortably on the bed. His hands bugged his clothing. He didn't like them well. It just gave him another reason to get out of here faster. "I suppose you want to ask about my eye?" Allen knowingly inquired when he saw Bookman enter.

He had to of been outside listening. None of the exorcists would doubt it. "How you got it doesn't explain the way it looks. I also find it peculiar that it bled the way it did. The pain shouldn't be that severe either." Bookman voiced his thoughts as if to answer.

Allen's face was painted with seriousness. The question that went unspoken ran on air. It screamed out to everyone, and now, even Kanda's curiosity was piqued. "My eye occasionally sends pain shocks through me for two reasons." Allen's fingers rubbed his scar. "My eye is cursed. Not only that, it can locate akuma in the vicinity so long as they're close by. It's ranged."

By now, nothing should come to them as a surprise with this boy, but it did. Bookman was the only person, Kanda given a special exception, who did not seem to be effected by this now known fact. "How?" Lavi's bookman-self wondered aloud.

"Simple, the akuma I destroyed cursed me when she slashed my eye. He even said, "Allen Walker, I curse you!". . . To do this day I don't understand how the akuma could have cursed me."

Bookman furrowed his brows. Neither has he. Then again, Allen and his friend he longer sees anymore, were the first to be heard of to survive the akuma process unless a professional exorcist stepped in. If they did, they were usually too late to get there. Another thing Bookman wanted to know was why the Earl had not killed Mary and Allen when his akuma failed. This boy was just a mystery through and through, wasn't he? "May I take a look at it?" Bookman asked for permission.

Silence surrounded them until Allen decided he had nothing to hide about it now. Nodding, Bookman got closer and studied the eye, testing it, surveying its abilities. The eye was not deceitful at all. It was amazing he still had sight as he thought about the wound his eye had long ago. Backing away, he nodded curtly and left silently to Lavi's side. "Now, the main topic." Bookman announced. "Where's Cross?"

Both Allen's inner and outer body went through many, many emotions mixed together. He was unsure and frightened to tell them, Cross' threat toward him ringing loudly in his mind. He would skin him alive or restrict him and torture him. Cross would NOT be pleased. "If I tell you, Master will kill me." Allen said, paler and eyes filled with fear and anger.

Having had time to find the right emotion, Allen's face was fear-stricken as a thought ran through his mind like a movie scene. Anger flashed in his eyes, trying to even out. "Master will kill me if I told anyone in the Black Order." Allen repeated.

"We got that the first time." Kanda retaliated.

"Allen, you're very aware of the situation we're in. Right now we're getting desperate. Please, won't you help us?" Lenalee pleaded.

The pleading eyes pierced through Allen's wall of fear. For now. The look of their faces proved they were desperate and worried. He could only picture how long they've been searching for Cross. "Okay, but if something happens to me, I'm blaming you."

He really wouldn''t, he would blame himself first, cruised through all their heads. Allen only said that for the guilt to implant in their minds if something did happen. "I don't know exactly where Master is, but when he found out about you all, he told me to get rid of you by any means necessary. Given that, it's safe to say he's hanging around, lingering in this town. I have a pretty good idea where. If not there, I know where to search for him by now." Allen said, running his hand through his hair, wondering what he was getting himself into as he spoke those words.

"Great!" Lavi cheered excitingly.

"But I'm not helping you anymore than that unless I can get out of here. I know there's nothing wrong with me other than my curse, so I don't need to stay here longer. Besides, it costs too much money." Allen said smoothly, bringing them all down.

Apparently Cross taught him more than how to defeat akuma and use his innocence, but how to manipulate and bend people to his will. Unlike Cross, Allen only did it when he had to. "What!" Lavi exclaimed, grabbing Allen's collar and shaking him. "That's not fair! No deal, no deal!"

"Alright, have fun trying to track him in this big town. After all, you know so much about the man and what he'll do, all his tactics about running away and evading anyone he wants, how to give you his massive debts and force you to pay them off. You know just how to get him to come out of hiding and go back to your Black Order. I understand, I'll just get in the way if I come along because I know none of these things and I couldn't last five minutes in an argument with him." Allen rambled on and on until they cracked.

"Okay, okay, deal. We'll let you leave, but that means you have to stay with us until we find the General, Allen." Lenalee said as she folded her arms across her chest, adding her own sly move in there.

He didn't mind hanging around them. It was Cross he cared about sticking around. "Fair enough." Allen said, finishing the deal.

It took a good thirty minutes to convince the hospital to let Allen go, but they managed it. Allen changed out of his baggy hospital clothes and back into his ruined and battered, old ones. There was a better feel to them than his previous outfit. Exiting the room and soon, the hospital he was close to getting lost in, Allen slumped forward with his hands in his pockets. Providing that they didn't know any better, they all knew Allen was not thrilled about this. Any doubts that they had that had gone away when they saw his face when he walked out.

He held close to no expression at all and a frown. Krory was here now. Kanda had gone. The rest that were here waited eagerly. Allen silently led them through town, passing new places Allen didn't remember being here about three years ago when he last visited here. "Where are we going?" Lavi inquired, glancing at their surroundings.

They were on a dirt path and more trees and grass came to be rather than buildings. Houses laid on the prairie here and there along the way. "We're still in town, don't worry. It's not like I'm not sending you to your doom." The sarcasm in his voice echoed in their ears.

He thought he was sending them to their doom, or his own. They crossed a bridge and Allen could hear them talk about this behind him, wondering if they were really in town still and if Allen knew where he was going. Allen disregarded this. His Master haunted his mind.

A small house was seen on a small hill with a brick fence guarding it. It gave off a homey feeling. There was a man in the yard tending to flowers. As they got closer to the gate the exorcists realized just how tall and broad he was. Allen straightened his back seeing him and took his hands out of his pockets. He was back to his old self. "Barba!" He yelled with glee.

The man with his sun hat stood up and twisted his body around. He gasp as he grinned. He started running towards Allen and the boy sort of panicked, knowing what might happen. One, Allen will go flying backwards like last time. Two, Barba will hug him to death and break his spine. Three, flatten him.

Barba slowed down and picked Allen up, hugging him tightly. His friends behind him flinched when they heard his bones crack. "Bar-Barba. . .can't. . . breathe. . ." Allen gasped.

Barba set him on his feet and said sorry, smile still there as he looked Allen over. "Has it really been three years Allen? You've gotten taller!" Barba exclaimed joyfully.

That was the one compliment Allen loved to hear the most in his life. He grinned with dignity and was ready to hug Barba as the nervous exorcists were eyed by this enormous man. "Who are you friends?" Barba looked at each one of their faces, his eyes stopping at Lenalee who now stood beside Allen. His eyes popped out and his hands clapped his cheeks. "Oh my!"

"Is something wrong?" Allen asked.

"No, it's just I almost didn't notice your girl friend!"

Allen and Lenalee's faces burned a flaming red, a color that matched Lavi's hair. "Now ho-"

"MOTHER! ALLEN IS BACK! And he brought his cute girlfriend too!" Barba bellowed as he ran in the house.

Allen's hand moved in the air, embarrassment plain on his face. "Barba! Wait, hey!" Allen ran after him, giving Lenalee a weird glance before he had taken off.

When everything settled down, everyone sat around a table as an old woman with long grey hair took a drag on a cigarette, blowing smoke in a different direction and put it out in an ashtray. Calmly, she folded her hands in front of her, smiling. "So this is your girlfriend, Allen?" She queried, eyeing Lenalee.

"What? No! Listen, I don't know what Barba said, but we're just friends!" Allen explained, his arms flailing around as he directed their attention at an flustered Lenalee.

Mother had long since seen the silver rose cross on their uniforms, all but Allen. She was indeed taken back when he had his white hair and mark visible, though. Last she knew, he was hiding behind odd cosmetics. "Ah, I should have known. Barba gets overdramatic and stretches the truth." Mother finally said.

Both were happy to hear that end now, but Allen's esteem was shot with her insult whether she did or did not intend for it to come that way. Knowing her, she did it intentionally. "It is a stunning to see how little you've grown, Allen. I'm a little disappointed." Mother remarked, causing Lavi to snigger in the background.

"Wow Allen, everyone you know thinks you're short." Lavi just had to state.

Allen's brow twitched, but he sighed in defeat or tiredness. "What brings you here this time Allen, seeing how you're not with Mana nor Cross?" Mother went on.

Allen leaned on the table. Correct the exorcists, but a look of perturb settled across his face. Allen was concerned for his Master and they thought he didn't care. Like Mana earlier said, there was more to this bond of theirs than what meets the eye. "That's why I came here, Mother. Cross skipped out on the Order a while back and now trouble has stirred. He's in danger and he needs to go back. No one knows exactly where he is at at the moment. I was hoping he was here." Allen said softly.

Mother sighed, thinking about Allen's words. She could care less about where Cross went. She cared more for Allen than him. "To hell with him!" Mother yelled, making Allen jump. Then a pause eased him. "You just missed him, Allen. He had been staying here for a few days, but he left this morning. Haven't seen him since, I wouldn't expect to. God only knows when and if he will return."

So Allen was right. He was here. "Did he mention where he was going?" Allen asked.

Mother make an irritated noise, rolling her eyes. "Never does. Don't you know that? Anyways, you should know where he'll be if he is still in town."

Allen scratched the back of his head, staring at his gloved hand. He knew, but he didn't want to go there. Guess things were taking a turn in his life. Big time.

Little did he know how real this was and about what was about to begin.

I hope you all don't think I'm dragging this out. I'm going slowly, chapter by chapter with this. Do you think I'm adding too much details? That's what I keep thinking. It sucks being the writer without having someone there to read it and tell you if it needs improvement before you publish. Y'know? Any other write feel like that?

Please Review! Thanks for reading!

~ ~ ~ Anon Novelist ~ ~ ~