Chapter 2: Girl, Discovered
"I'm sorry about the interrogation earlier. I swear I've never seen them like that before; they must really like you to be so interested in your entire life. I mean, when I occasionally hosted post-performance parties at our house in Lima they'd usually just grunt out a few words of greeting and disappear into the living room" Rachel laughed softly, staring off into the deep midnight blue sky dreamily "you seem to have made quite the impression." She shifted onto her side to look at the shadowed face beside her in the darkness. "How are you feeling? Are you ok?"
Quinn huffed out a sharp breath, idly noticing the slight chill in the air as she took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the late summer air. She didn't answer, shrugging her shoulders instead. Her thoughts were running wild, unable to pin down any one thing and finding impossible to catch her breath.
The two girls were stretched out on the balcony attached to Rachel's bedroom. A large fluffy blanket was spread out beneath them as they lay together, staring up at the stars shimmering above. The air was cool with a moist lakeside breeze and the girls lay close together to stave off the need for a blanket to cover their bodies. Quinn stared off into space, breathing steadily in and out and listening to the water lap against the shoreline a short distance from the house. She could feel the closeness of the small girl beside her and wrung her hands together on her stomach to stop herself from reaching out to take the girl's small hand in her own. She was shocked and warily amused at the silence she was getting from the usually chatty diva but brushed it off as she decided to enjoy it while it lasted. Their newfound relationship (if you could call it that) was built on words typed, not spoken, and though Quinn had become accustomed to the constant flow of words coming from the other girl, she was not yet used to hearing them out loud.
Their relationship had begun slowly, their shared AP Chemistry class providing a platform for note passing and stealthy text messages as they began to learn about each other. By the time summer vacation rolled around, they were inseparable; at least virtually. The two spoke constantly about anything and everything via text message, email, chat, and good old fashioned paper notes (as Rachel insisted on leaving cute little messages folded neatly on brightly colored paper in Quinn's locker). But now, lying side by side, Quinn was nervous, terrified really, and completely convinced she could in no way live up to the person Rachel had gotten to know so well behind a screen. She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep, cleansing breath before allowing her eyes to open again and reaching for her phone in her jeans pocket. Rachel cocked her head to one side and shielded her eyes as the bright screen lit up and cast sharp rays of light over her face. She looked on silently as Quinn tapped out a message on the touch screen, hesitating for the briefest moment before hitting the green "send" button. Just as she was about to ask what Quinn was up to, the familiar feeling of her phone vibrating in her pocket alerted her of a new unread message.
With a quick and curious glance at Quinn's face, Rachel reached into her pocket and produced her phone; clicking open the message as Quinn tried to divert her eyes from the obvious confusion on the brunette's face. Rachel's eyebrows furrowed gently as her eyes lit up in realization.
QF: I'm afraid. And nervous. And you smell really amazing.
The blonde turned on her side, facing away from the smaller girl when she heard a faint chuckle escape the girl's lips. Following the instincts that had become second nature over the past few months, Rachel typed out a reply before settling in for a long chat with the nervous girl.
RB: What are you afraid of? There is no reasonable explanation for your nervousness, I assure you. Also, thank you, I shower at least twice a day (but you already knew that). I'm hoping for a little levity, but if that isn't possible in your current state, please let me know.
She sat up on the blanket, pulling her body over to one of the deck chairs and leaning her weight back against it.
RB: Additionally, I happen to think you smell pretty amazing yourself. I love the scents of lavender and mint individually, but on you they are a downright sinful combination.
Quinn perked up a bit at Rachel's message, feeling some of the pressure of their face to face interaction fade as she hid behind the protectiveness of her phone. Following the brunette's example, she moved to a sitting position beside the smaller girl and leaned back against the deck chair. Settling in for a long talk, she pulled the part of the blanket they had been laying on up over their legs, wrapping in them a security blanket of warmth and intimacy.
QF: This is strange, I know, considering I'm sitting right next to you. I'm just nervous about saying everything out loud. I know it's real, but saying it out loud would make it really real. Does that make sense? You know so much about me and I'm afraid of how much more vulnerable I'll be once we've said everything for real.
RB: Quinn, you have nothing to be afraid of. I promise I won't hurt you, and I swear I'll do everything in my power to protect us and our relationship from whatever the world may throw at us. We can't stop anyone from judging us, but I can make sure you know that I will never judge you and I'll always be there to calm your fears.
QF: That is what I'm talking about exactly. You and I are so free with words when we write them down, but what happens when there isn't that filter? What happens when I start to speak before I think? I'm afraid of the things I might blurt out at you unsuspectingly. What if I say something accidentally that makes you want to run? I know we've been talking like this for months, and I feel like you know me better than anyone. What if I can't live up to that expectation in real life?
Rachel reached out her hand on instinct, placing it comfortingly on Quinn's knee underneath the blanket. Without thinking, Quinn let her hand drop to tangle her fingers with the smaller girl's, reveling in the warmth and comfort of her touch.
RB: That's the beauty of it all, Q. you can never let me down because I know deep down what you're thinking. Through our exchanges these past few months we've gotten to know each other on a much deeper level that you may realize. I know you say what you mean because you take the time to put your feelings into words before you say them. I have every confidence you'll be able to continue with that trend in the spoken word.
QF: I'm glad to see you have such confidence in me.
RB: I also know I'm going to love it when you start speaking to me for real because you have an extremely pleasant speaking voice and I'm excited to get to hear more of it.
QF: Well in that case, I may hold off a little longer and make you wait for it. ;)
Rachel put her phone down on the chair behind her head and looked up at the teasing glint in Quinn's eyes. She shook her head slowly with a grin on her face and gave the blonde's hand a squeeze before scooting closer, until their sides were touching along their length, and laying her head gently down on Quinn's shoulder. Closing her eyes and inhaling the coconut and sunscreen combination that was unique to the other girl, she smiled tenderly and let her head fall to the side, softly nestling with Rachel's. As they sat snuggled together on the balcony, they both felt a subtle shift in the nature of their relationship. They'd never been this physically close to one another before, never felt the warmth of the other's touch or the softness of their skin. Unconsciously and without the other knowing, both girls leaned into the embrace, Quinn extending her arm around the smaller girl's shoulders as Rachel slipped her arm around the blonde's lower back. They held each other tenderly - hearts picking up speed, fingers dancing over one another, and small sweet smiles being cast off into the darkness – until Quinn finally worked up the courage to open her mouth and speak to the other girl.
"R-Rachel?" Quinn stammered over her the brunette's name as she realized she wanted to speak to the girl but had no idea what to say. Now that her words were out there, she launched an inner battle over which words were the most appropriate for the situation. Should she say she's having a good time? Or just simply say thank you for the invitation to spend time at her family's summer getaway? Or maybe just tell her she's the most beautiful girl she's ever seen? Her inner dialogues continued as Rachel felt her body tense and begin to shiver.
"Yes, Quinn?" the brunette eyed her companion carefully. The girl seemed to have retreated back into her own body and a war seemed to be raging behind nervous hazel eyes. "Quinn, are you ok?" Receiving no response from the girl, Rachel pulled out from Quinn's embrace and lifted her hand to the other girl's cheek hoping to bring her consciousness back. "Quinn, darling, talk to me" she demanded softly.
Feeling the soft caress of Rachel's hand on her cheek, Quinn leaned into her, closing her eyes and reveling in the comfort of her touch. When she opened her eyes to see concerned brown eyes pouring into her own, she opened her mouth to speak. After a moment with no sound coming out, she closed her mouth again. She tried again, managing to choke out a few strangled vowels this time, before hanging her head in shame. Rachel, feeling the girl's nervousness, ran a reassuring hand over her arm as she moved her other hand from her cheek to under her chin. She gently lifted the blonde's hanging head to gaze into her eyes once again. "Quinn, you can tell me anything, you know that."
As if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, Quinn let out a sigh of relief. Moving a hand to Rachel's back as she willed her eyes to convey every ounce of emotion she was feeling as she finally opened her mouth and quietly let out the words she'd been so afraid to say.
"I love you, Rachel."
She felt more than heard the brunette's small gasp at her confession and quickly dropped her eyes back to her lap. She started to pull away from their comfortable embrace when Rachel placed her hand in her own, stilling her escape and bringing their eyes together once again.
"Do you mean that?" the small girl asked, barely above a whisper.
Quinn looked inquiringly into the other girl's eyes, feeling slightly taken aback and more than a little concerned at her question.
"I've never meant anything more in my entire life."
Rachel searched the blonde's eyes for any sign of conflict or doubt, and finding none, a smile slowly spread against her delicate features. Their relationship had once been full of pure animosity and hurt, but the past few months had shown her a new side of the typically brash cheerleader she was sure nobody else ever got to see. She considered herself lucky, blessed with the calming presence of the graceful girl, but never once considered the possibility of her feelings being returned. She shook her head lightly, returning her gaze to the imploring hazel eyes before her. As those eyes began to tear, she noticed the other girl had begun to tremble under her touch and was once again slowly trying to wriggle out of her grasp.
"Rachel, please say something. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, God, what the hell was I thinking?" The blonde started talking to herself as she pulled out of Rachel's grasp and ducked her face into both of her hands. Hiding the wet streaks on her cheeks and muttering under her breath, Rachel looked on in disbelief at how easily the girl's confidence had been shattered before snapping out of her haze and moving to kneel before Quinn and softly calling her name.
"Quinn. I need you to look at me, please. Quinn, please, I really need to talk to you about something and I'd really rather do it if you're here with me." The upset girl merely shrugged and shook her head, causing Rachel's heart to break a little in her chest. Without saying a word, Rachel reached for Quinn's trembling hands, pulling them away from her face. She reached up her own hands, cradling Quinn's face gently and lifting head from her knees, willing her to look up into the concerned brown eyes waiting for her. She gave the blonde a reassuring smile before moving in a bit closer, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears falling from haunting hazel eyes. Quinn's eyes flashed in confusion for a brief moment, watching in rapt attention as Rachel's mouth moved steadily closer to her own. Her gaze flickered between the loving brown eyes fixated on her own, the feel of soft hands wiping away her pain, and the slow dart of a pink tongue, wetting the full lips before her.
As their noses brushed lightly, Quinn's eyes fluttered closed in anticipation. She felt Rachel's breath mixing with her own, the warmth radiating off of the girl's hands on her face, but no contact between their lips was made. Slowly, pulling back just a fraction of an inch, Quinn opened her eyes and found Rachel's immediately. Smiling, the brunette spoke softly, her words whispering off of Quinn's lips and causing a shudder to run up the length of her body.
"Quinn, I want this. I want you. You're all I've wanted since the first note slipped into my hands out of the blue. Truth be told, I've been in love with you for years. I just needed you to catch up."
With that, Quinn closed the gap between their lips, pressing a firm yet impossibly soft kiss upon the delectable lips before her. The kiss was still, at first, but electric. Current coursing through their bodies, making each nerve stand at attention as their mouths slowly began to move against one another. Rachel opened her mouth slightly, moving her lips sensuously over the blonde's as her body began to respond to the passion she was feeling. Their lips slid together in a delicate dance, surging with new discovery. Quinn's arms lifted from her lap to wrap around Rachel's back, pulling her closer into her body, needing to feel the warmth of the girl in her arms. Rachel went willingly, sliding one hand into gloriously blonde hair and letting the other slowly drop to settle over the pounding heart within the other girl's chest. Quinn took Rachel's bottom lip between her own; sucking on it briefly then gave it a quick nip, before sneaking out the tip of her tongue to soothe the sting. Rachel moaned throatily at the contact, moving her body as close to the other girl as possible. Grasping blindly with busy hands, she pushed Quinn's legs apart before moving to sit between then, placing her own legs on top of Quinn's, thighs resting on top of the other girl's extended legs and curling her legs behind the blonde's back. Quinn let out a moan of her own at the movement, gripping Rachel harder, pulling her until there was no space between them and they both gasped out of the kiss at the full body contact. Breathing heavily, the two girls sat silently for a few moments, foreheads resting against each other's and hands gripping, feeling as much as possible.
After a minute, Rachel couldn't stand not kissing the swelling lips before hers. Ducking her head slightly, she leaned in and recaptured Quinn's lips and was met instantly with a grateful moan. The two girls began to get lost in one another's touch, reveling in the softness and sweetness of each other's kiss. As their slow and sensuous movements became more heated and needy, Quinn once again captured Rachel's bottom lip and ran her tongue along its length, tasting and testing, willing Rachel to deepen the kiss as she pulled back slightly and allowed her mouth to fall open slightly. Feeling Quinn's insistence, the brunette returned her kiss with her lips parted. As her bottom lip fell between Quinn's once again, Rachel ran her tongue just along the inside of Quinn's top lip, causing the blonde to jerk slightly and let out a strangled moan of encouragement. They both pulled back just enough to reconnect their mouths fully, extending their tongues shyly and touching just barely. When Quinn felt the first flick of Rachel's tongue against her own, her world exploded behind her eyes and felt everything fall into place. This is what she was meant to do. This is who she was meant to be. This is her purpose, to love Rachel with everything she has. She let out a satisfied sigh and pulled Rachel as close as their bodies would allow before pouring every ounce of her being into the kiss. Mouths panted, tongues tangles, and hands gripped at every available surface as they moved together on the balcony, sinking everything they had into the kiss as all the pieces of the puzzle came together to form a beautiful picture.
They could be together, it would be ok. Everything would always be ok as long as they had each other.
Rachel felt drops of warm wetness on her fingers and slowly broke the kiss, peppering the blonde's mouth and face with sweet kisses as she retreated. She glanced up at Quinn, noticing the tears beginning to fall and the heartbreaking smile forming on her lips.
"Q, darling, what are these about?" Rachel wiped the tears from the blonde's face, lifting her eyes to hazel in concern.
"I just- I never thought this could actually happen. I mean, you wanting to be with me –a-after everything. I'm just so ridiculously happy and overwhelmed and I-I just - I can't get enough of you" the blonde trailed off as the attached their lips again greedily. A new dance of lips and tongues began as they clung together beneath the stars, basking in the gloriousness of their first kisses. "God, I love you so much."
Before Rachel could answer, the squeak of door hinges broke their moment as Hiram stepped out on to the balcony.
"I think it's time for you two to call it a night. Quinn, I'd like to speak with you briefly before you turn in, ok? I'll be in the kitchen."