Berries and Bimbos and Boobs, Oh My
He's been asleep for the last few hours and I haven't been able to go anywhere. Every time I try to move he clutches me tighter. After he'd told me about his mother, he'd buried his face between my shoulder and the mattress. I could think of nothing to do but hold him closer. I'm an emotional retard, so the only thing I could do to comfort him was wrap my arm around his shoulders as he wrapped his around my waist.
It's strange to knowingly have someone else sleeping in the same bed. I've had to share a bed with hookers before, but that's different because one, they're hookers, and two, I'm not exactly the straightest guy on the planet. Plus most of them were what I suppose is called a 'mother figure', so that makes the idea of sleeping with them a whole lot creepier.
But I suppose I'll have to visit Harribel and Stark here pretty soon. Once I'd moved out of my father's house, they made me promise to visit at least once a month, and that hasn't happened yet this month. And I don't need Harribel spazing out on me again. She may be a hooker, but in some weird, twisted way she's my mother.
Ichigo starts mumbling in his sleep, something about the rain. It's almost midnight and I'm pretty sure I should be getting to sleep soon, but I'm not quite sure that's going to happen. Maybe if I'm really lucky...
Closing my eyes I try to blank out my mind, which doesn't really work so well. All this inactivity is causing my mind to wander, but maybe it wasn't for the worst...
Fucking alarm clock. Damned thing needs to be burned...I keep saying I'm going to destroy it, but it's yet to happen. I can't tell whether it's because on some deep level I like it, or I'm just too lazy. I'd like to think it's because I'm lazy. Szayel creeps me out too much for me to like it.
Turning it off, I notice that Ichigo isn't laying next to me. No wonder it's so cold. Sitting up, I can hear something coming from the bathroom, though I've no idea what it is. Guess I should go find Ichigo though...
Picking up the nearest pair of pants and slipping them on, I find the bathroom light on and the door slightly ajar. Peeking in I can see Ichigo sitting on the floor. I can't see exactly what's going on, but it sounds like he's gagging.
Walking in, I find him hunched over the toilet, clutching his stomach. Lovely, he got himself sick. I grab a small towel from across the hall and grab a few things from the medicine cabinet along with a glass of water.
He's sweating and trying to push me away, but whatever he has has weakened him immensely. Pushing his arms away, I manage to clean him up and get him to swallow a few pills. I've never actually cared for someone who was sick like this. Mostly I dealt with my father's constant hangovers and the one time he had a bladder infection. Natural illnesses must have been frightened away by the smell of alcohol.
"Where do you live?"
He shakes his head and tries to push himself onto his feet. Falling back onto the floor, he gasps and tries to keep the medication down.
"Look, I don't take care of other people. I have no idea what I'm doing. You need to tell me where you live or who to call."
Again he shakes his head and I'm getting kind of annoyed. Not only is this guy sick, I can't take care of him, I have nowhere to take him, and I have to get to school soon. Damn it, Fate has it out for me, I swear. Someone needs to shoot her. Guess there's only one thing to do now.
Picking up the phone from the living room, I dial the school's number. "Karakura University, how can I help you?"
"Shirosaki Hichigo."
"Yes?"
"Do you have any idea how to take care of sick people?" Apparently this was somehow a logical thing to do, call the school office and ask the secretary if they know how to handle sick people. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea...in fact, it probably would have been better to call Harribel or something.
She's caught off guard by the question. "Uh...lots of liquids and rest is what I was taught."
"Thanks," and I hang up. Well, at least he won't be hurling again for a while.
Setting the phone on the counter, I clean him up and carry him back to the bedroom. He's a lot lighter than I thought he'd be, but it could be the fact that he's been hurling for the last who knows how long. I know the woman said lots of liquids, which means soup, and I'm pretty sure all the instant shit I have won't do him any good. But I don't want to kill him with my cooking so I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do.
He's shivering like crazy and it doesn't look like the blankets I have on the bed are going to do him much good so I pull out some of the larger comforters from my closet. I have no clue if this is helping, but he looks a little more comfortable than before. I know he's got a fever, I just don't know how high it is. Now that I think about it...I don't think I have a thermometer...I should probably get one...
This is such a pain in the ass.
Pulling on some shoes, I head out the store and down the street to the convenience store. There's nobody here because it's too damn early. I don't know why they're even open at this hour.
The cashier gives me a funny look (no surprise there) and I ignore it, trying to find where the hell they kept the thermometers. It was a small store so it shouldn't have been that difficult, but the damn bastards were small and crammed behind a bunch of other medical shit. This is exactly why I hate stores, finding anything is impossible and looking for it makes you look stupid.
Paying for the thermometer (that I'm sure I will never use again), I head back to find Ichigo still shivering under the covers. This is what he gets for sitting out in the rain. This is what I get for...damn, what the hell did I do to deserve this...sure I don't like people, but that's not really a reason to punish me is it? I dunno. Maybe they've finally made thinking illegal.
The only good thing about this situation is that I've had so many of these things shoved into my mouth that I know how they work...that sounds awkward...you know what I mean. But it was much more difficult to pry his mouth open to get the damned thing in than it should have been...that didn't help...
Once the thing beeped (because apparently people can't tell time anymore) and I manage to get it back, I find that it reads about 102. Great. Just fucking great. I'm no expert, but that is beyond bad. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
I don't have time to think about it because suddenly Soulja Boy starts playing...and it's coming from my bathroom...why the hell is Soulja Boy in my bathroom?
Turns out it's Ichigo's phone and suddenly I don't want to know, but the screen reads 'home'.
"Hello?" Maybe now I can find out where he lives.
"Ichi-nii?" whoa...sister...wasn't expecting that...
"Uh...not exactly..."
"Then who is this?" she sounds worried. In the background I can hear a guy say something to her. "I don't know who it is, but he has Ichi-nii's phone."
The phone exchanges hands. "Who the hell is this?!" he sound's like he's trying to be pissed off, and it's not working.
"You're son is passed out in my room and I have no idea what I'm doing."
"And why should I believe you?"
"Actually, you probably shouldn't, but seeing as I have no idea where you live, it's not like there's a lot of choice is there? That and he's got a hundred and two fever, so I don't think he'll be going anywhere."
"Fine," he says after a moment's hesitation. "But on one condition."
"What?"
"What's your name?"
Great, I have to give my name to a complete stranger who could follow me home and...wait...that's already happened. Oh well, I guess there's no harm in it now. "Shirosaki Hichigo."
"Alright," he hangs up.
That went rather well.
But it doesn't last long because Ichigo starts groaning again. When I walk back into the bedroom I find him curled up on his side, almost completely covered up by the blankets. Sitting down on the edge, I do what Nel always did for me, rubbed his back. I don't know if it's helping, but he seems to calm down a little. She used to sing for me too, but I'd rather not subject him to that...
And as for liquids...I think I might have some orange juice in the fridge...eh, fuck it. I'll figure something out later. Even if it means going back to that convenience store...this is going to be a long day.
Without much else to do, I pick up my book and start reading. I manage to get about half way through it before Ichigo starts tossing and turning. He's sweating like crazy and he can't seem to get comfortable. He's still clutching his stomach and groaning and I still don't know what the fuck is going on. Maybe I'll try and find Boobzilla later...she might know. Though from what I've heard about her cooking, I'd rather not have her in my kitchen.
Again, Soulja Boy starts playing, but it's not coming from my bathroom this time, it's coming from the nightstand. I brought his phone with me. Who the hell thought that made a good ringtone? Because it doesn't. Seriously. Was someone just sitting around thinking, "Wow, if only this phone would yell 'Superman that ho' whenever my mother called"...
Glancing at the screen, it says Rangiku. I have no idea who that is, but maybe they know something about sick people.
Picking it up I hear, "Ichigo?!" screamed over the phone. Thank god I didn't have it up to my ear. At least now I know it's Boobzilla. "Ichigo? Are you ok? Were you abducted by aliens?"
"Not Ichigo."
Moment of silence. "Shiro?"
"Yeah."
"Where's Ichigo?"
"Sleeping."
"Is he ok?"
"I doubt it."
"Oh my god, what happened?! Was he shot?! Stabbed?!"
"Uh...no...he's sick."
"Oh. Ok. Well, he's in good hands."
"No. He's not. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I don't take care of sick people, I take care of drunk people. There's a difference."
"How? They're both flushed and puking. The occasional groan. What's the difference?"
"There's a big difference. Drunk people need sleep and ibuprofen. Sick people actually need to be taken care of. They need medicine, fluids, sleep. I don't have food for sick people in my house. I don't have meds either. What the hell am I supposed to do?!"
"I could come over and cook for you!"
"...I think you'd kill him..."
"I would not!"
"Not from what I hear."
"Well then you're on your own. Don't get sick," she says, hanging up. Well fuck.
Ichigo sits up suddenly (I thought he was still asleep...) and tries to stand. I manage to react quickly enough to catch him before he hit the floor. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I...uh....I'm gonna..." shit.
Picking him, up, I rushed him into the bathroom as fast as I could. As soon as he was at the toilet he started hurling again. It looked painful, especially because I don't think he had anything left to throw up.
Brushing his hair back, I grabbed the nearest towel and cleaned him up. I'm not even sure if it really was the rain that made him sick. It could have been the stress of any number of things for all I know. God, I just want him to hurry up and stop being sick. I'd take him home or to a hospital or something, but one, I still don't know where he lives (fuck, should have asked) and two, the closest hospital is another town over. I ain't dragging him that far.
The next few hours and pretty much the rest of the night was more of the sane. He'd sleep for a while and then get up to hurl. I didn't get much sleep that night, between him tossing and turning (and hitting me a couple times) and getting up to vomit, it didn't seem like I'd get any for a while.
When he woke up the next morning though, he didn't feel the need to go rushing into the bathroom. He was still clutching his stomach, but at least it seemed to have let up. "You feeling better?"
"Little," was all he managed to get out.
I sigh. "Look, I really need to get you to someone that knows what they're doing. You need food and medicine that I don't have. So I'll ask again. Where do you live?"
"Don't...wanna go," he rasped out.
"I don't care that you don't want to go, you need to get better and it's not going to happen here."
Silence.
"Fine, I'll call your dad." As I reached for the phone, he immediately shot up and tried to stop me. The sudden movement caused him to gasp, he had the phone clutched tightly in his hand, half laying across me. I didn't want to try and pry it out of his fingers in case I hurt him...wait...why did I care if I hurt him? Why did I care if he got better? Why did I care about any of this? It was probably lack of sleep. That had to be it.
"Just tell me why you don't want to go home."
There was silence. I sighed in frustration. He finally mumbled something, though I'm not sure what. When I asked him to repeat it, he hesitated.
"Argument."
"You had an argument. With who, your dad?"
He shook his head.
"Sister?"
He nodded.
"You had an argument with your sister...so you can't go home...I realize that this may not mean much coming from me, but that makes no sense." Well...he did tell me why he didn't want to go home...damn it, that means I have to let him stay now. Fuck.
"Look, all I have is instant crap and you need food. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"'s fine," he mumbled. Well, it's not gonna be my fault if it kills him.
Lifting him up I can feel him tense. "I'm not gonna throw you out. I just need to get up." he relaxed and I set him back down.
Walking into the kitchen, I dug out more of the instant soup I had, debating whether or not I should actually feed it to him. Well...he didn't really seem to mind, and I didn't care all that much, so I guess he was getting instant soup. And as soon as it was done I headed back to the bedroom.
He was clutching his stomach again, his phone still in his hand. Guess he didn't trust me not to call someone.
Holding the soup in front of his face, I said, "Here."
He stared at it. "I'm not feeding you. You gotta eat your own damn food."
When he finally managed to sit himself up, he took it. It took him a while, but he did manage to eat most of it. And keep it down, surprisingly enough. I took it back from him and set it on the nightstand.
"Hot," he said.
"That's nice and all, but you still have to stay under the covers. If you're getting hot it means you're getting better," well, seeing as that was the extent of my sick people knowledge...
He groaned again. "Just get back to sleep."
And he did. For quite a while, I might add. I almost dozed of myself until he started shifting around again. And this happened every time, if he moved even slightly I was awake and alert. I swear to god, if he gets me sick I'm going to kill him.
There's this loud banging in the background and I'm not sure where it's coming from. It's very insistent and I open my eyes...wait...was I asleep? When the hell did that happen? I'm not complaining, no, far from it. It just would have been nice to know so, oh, I don't know, I might have been able to find a more comfortable position? I was sitting for god's sake. It's not comfortable to sleep like that, and it's even worse waking up after having slept like that.
But again that banging sound starts and I realize there's someone at the door. I hope to god it's not Cirruci.
Getting up I almost topple over, not quite fully awake. After I manage to steady myself, I walk out into the living room and look through the peephole in the door. Someone has it covered with their hand so I can't tell who it is, and if I can't tell who it is, I'm not opening the door. That's just not the smartest idea.
God, I'm tired and pissed off at the moment. I've been taking care of Ichigo for the last...day. Great, I can't even think straight anymore. I need more sleep...and I'm about to do just that when I hear Boobzilla start calling from the other side of the door. Fuck it. They managed to break in last time, they can do it again.
Which she does promptly. She's got the door open in less than twenty seconds and the first thing she spots is me.
"Um...are you ok?"
"I will be once I've gotten more sleep."
"When was the last time you got to sleep?"
"Uh..." I glanced at the clock. "an hour ago...I think..."
"Before that?"
"Day before yesterday."
"What the hell were you doing?!"
"Taking care of..." god, I can't even think of his name. I start pointing down the hall and she seems to get it.
"Can I see him?"
"I don't see why not."
She nods and starts walking toward the bedroom. I follow after her and stand in the doorway while she looks him over. She probably knows what she's doing better than I do, and I don't really have the mental capacity to do much at the moment, so I let her do...whatever it is she's doing.
After a few minutes she stands up and I think I started nodding off again...I really need to get more sleep. Boobzilla seems to think so too because she practically shoves me back onto the bed.
"Let him rest for a little while longer. If it starts getting bad again call me," and she walks out.
There's really something I'm not seeing to her, because one moment she's about the stupidest person you've ever seen (not to mention the most violent) and the next she's as serious as a heart attack. Ok, who the hell came up with that one? Yes, heart attacks are serious, but should we really be comparing people to them? Is that like insulting them?
Anyways, I can hear her close the front door as she leaves. The noise stirs Ichigo (that's his name) and he looks around and I know I'm still staring down the hall. Looking over at me, he seems confused. But I don't really feel like explaining, so it's just not going to happen.
Turning onto my side, facing away from Ichigo, I decide I'm gonna get as much sleep as I can. I hope to hell Ichigo gets better soon. As far as I've seen, he hasn't exactly been good for my health...
I smell bacon. Which is a really nice thing to wake up to...wait...bacon...why the hell did it smell like bacon? I know I don't have bacon because I can't cook it. Who the hell is making bacon?!
...What time is it anyways? According to the clock, seven. Whether that's in the morning or in the evening, I'm not sure.
Getting up and stepping out of the room, I immediately know it's morning. That light is way too bright. Who decided it was a good idea to be awake during the day?
Walking into the kitchen I find Ichigo standing in front of the stove. Oh, right, he's been here for the last...what...two days? If he's feeling better, why is he still here? He should go make up with his sister...damn it! I'm caring again! Why?!
I must have made a noise because he turns around and says, "Oh, you're awake."
Was it even possible for someone to recover that quickly?
"There's bacon," he said, motioning towards a plate.
"Where the hell did you get bacon?"
"The convenience store down the street."
I don't know how he managed to get there after being sick for...however long. I still think it's weird that he got over it so fast. Maybe it really was stress...
"How long do you plan on standing there."
"There was no real plan to stand here, it just happened. And I haven't quite figured out when I'm gonna move. Maybe when I'm more awake."
"I take it you're not much of a morning person."
"Gee, what gave you that idea?"
He rolled his eyes and went back to the stove. "I don't know how you manage to get up in the morning. My dad has to practically drag me out of bed."
"I don't either. Most days I have to tell myself Harribel is going to come bursting through my bedroom door and start whacking me with that stupid stick of hers."
He looks back at me, "Harribel?"
"A prostitute, also known as my mother. Or, one of."
He looks confused. "Your...mother was a prostitute?"
"Not my birth mother you moron. She was one of the many prostitutes and bartenders that actually raised me."
"You were raised by prostitutes and bartenders?" I can't tell if he's disgusted, curious, or...you know what, I don't care.
"I know nothing of my real mother and daddy dearest was never around to do his job. He was either out at a club drinking, with a hooker, or both."
He suddenly looks sympathetic. "I'm sorry."
"Why?" I'm honestly not sure why he should be. It wasn't like he forced my dad out the door every time. There wasn't anything to apologize for. I'm not even sure there's anything to forgive. But again, I'm sure I'm fucked up in more ways than one, so I'm not exactly the right person to be asking.
He shrugged.
Damn. I just realized that even though it's only Thursday, (meaning the fourth day of school) I've already missed three days. I hope there wasn't a lot to make up...wait...aw crap. I still had to make that drawing of Ichigo. Damn it.
"So...mind explaining why a hooker has a stick that she hits people with?"
I thought about it for a minute. You know, I'm not really sure why she has that stick. She just kinda always has...I wasn't the only one she hit either. If she was pissed of she'd hit anyone she could reach, but Stark and I got the most of it. Not really sure why. I should probably ask her next time I visit. Plus I wanna know the story behind the stick. Who the fuck carries something like that around?
"Hello," he says, waving a fork in front of my face.
"What?"
"You going to explain."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't actually know. She's just kinda always had it. No one really questioned it."
"No one questioned why she was hitting a kid with a stick?"
"She hit everyone with it. Stark and I just happened to be the ones that got the most of it."
He looked confused. "Stark?"
"Bartender."
"Exactly how many hookers and bartenders do you know?"
"Uh...let's see...there's Loli, Stark, Harribel, Nel, Chizuru, Tatsuki, Szayel, Aaroniero, Luppi...Yammi and Dordonii were bouncers...there's a few other people I can't think of at the moment."
He stared at me for a moment.
"What?"
"Why do you know so many of them?"
"Because I grew up with them."
"You grew up around hookers and bartenders?"
"Are you kidding? Stark and Harribel are practically my parents. But I think Nel's inability to make anything edible rubbed off on me. But Szayel's creepiness didn't, thank god."
"Um...which ones are which?"
"Loli, Harribel, Chizuru, Szayel, Nel, And Luppi are prostitutes, Stark, Tatsuki, and Aaroniero are bartenders. Loli is a slut, Harribel is the scariest woman on the planet, Chizuru is a freaky lesbian, Szayel is even creepier, Nel is just...Nel...and I've yet to figure out if Luppi is a guy or a girl. I'd ask, but I'd rather avoid bodily harm if possible."
"And the others?"
"Stark's lazy, Tatsuki is actually normal, and Aaroniero just has a tendency to freak people out. Yammi is stupid beyond belief. I don't know how Dordonii puts up with it..."
"So, why didn't you stay with them?"
"Hm?"
"Instead of going back with your dad."
"I got enough shit at school as it was, always seen hanging around bars, and I'm not exactly the most normal looking person on the planet. Imagine how much worse it would have been if I actually lived with the prostitutes. And while Harribel did teach me self defense, it's not really something I wanted to use more than I had to."
"...a hooker taught you self defense?"
"Why the hell not? They get people trying to steal from them all the time. Not to mention all those rape attempts. Every prostitute knows how to defend themselves, along with anyone else in the area. No one was ever actually stupid enough to go near a red light district unprepared. The only reason people didn't fuck with me was because Harribel was usually around and she scares the shit outta everybody."
"How does she earn money then?"
"She's only terrifying when she has to be."
"But...she's a hooker..."
"You're kidding right? She once took out a two hundred seventy-five pound man in under a minute. Do not fuck with her."
"Did you at least have any friends?"
I thought about Zan, but I don't know that he was a friend. I considered him a brother, but I don't know what he thought. The only friend I had and he was taken away from me. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not about to get all sentimental about it again. There are just times when I really miss having him around.
"No. Like I said, I got a lot of shit about the way I look. I stopped trying to make friends and stopped expecting people to try. I like keeping to myself anyway so it works out well," I said shrugging.
He's got that sad look again. It really doesn't suit him. Maybe I should stop telling him about my past...He walks around the little island in the middle of the kitchen and stands next to me. I have no idea what he's doing but he still looks depressed. Yeah, I should definitely stop telling him about my past. It's not doing either of us any good.
I was about to question him when he suddenly hugged me. It was unexpected and scared the shit out of me. The showing of affection was never something people gave me. Not even Nel who was probably the kindest prostitute you'd ever see. And considering I'm not a touchy feely kind of person, this was kinda awkward.
"What the hell are you doing?"
He doesn't respond.
"Seriously, let go."
He shakes his head. This is getting really uncomfortable.
"Come on, let go," I say, trying (vainly) to push him off.
"You need a hug."
"I can assure you I'll be just fine without it." But he still doesn't relinquish his grip. I hope he doesn't suddenly turn violent like Boobzilla does...I could really go without the violence.
When he finally does pull away it looks like he was the one that needed the hug, not me.
"Are you ok? Do you need to see a psychiatrist? Because that's gonna be an issue."
"I'm not crazy," he said scowling.
I'm not quite sure about that. Between the death of his mother, his (what I'm now pretty sure was) stress induced illness, and all the hugging, I'd say he has a few issues. Course, I'm not exactly the most certified so I guess my opinion doesn't really count. Whatever. I still say he has issues.
"You should go home today," I tell him, I see him tense. "I don't care that you don't want to go, you've gotta go sometime."
"I can't stay?"
"No."
"Not even if I pay rent?"
"No."
Something about the disappointment and sadness tells me that it wasn't just an argument with his sister. There's something major he's not telling me and I almost don't want to ask, but if it's that bad, he's going to have to earn his right to stay here.
Sighing I tell him, "There's one condition." he seems to brighten up. "You have to tell me the real reason you don't want to go home."
"I-I told you, I had an argument with my sister."
"I'm sure you did. But that's not why you don't want to go home." He stays silent. "You can either tell me or leave."
"It's personal."
"Door's that way."
He suddenly flushed in anger. "Fine! My dad was looking for me to get married already! I don't even know why! He got upset when I told him there wasn't anyone I liked and that I had no intention of getting married for a while! He told me that there had to be someone had had at least a little interest in! I admitted there was, but it really pissed him off when I told him it was a guy! I didn't want to have the argument, not that day and not in front of my sisters, but he kept fucking insisting, so I left! Happy?!"
I shrug. "You can either clean out the spare room or sleep on the couch."
He slumps down in the nearest chair and hides his face in his folded arms on the counter. If he needs a friend to talk to, I am not that person. I've known him for...two days? I wouldn't really consider us the best of friends. I'm not quite sure he's figured out I'm an emotional retard either.
I'm still tired and I was planning on going back to sleep today, but the knocking at my door said otherwise. I have no idea who the hell it is because everybody should be in school at this point. But again I'm proven wrong. Orihime, Boobzilla, and Frodo are on the other side of the door. They can let themselves in.
Or...not. Ichigo gets up to open the door. "What the hell are you doing?"
"I was gonna open the door."
"Why?"
"Because there's someone there."
"I meant why are you opening my door."
"Again, there's someone there."
"They can let themselves in."
"How do you know?"
"Because they have before and inevitably will again. Hopefully then they'll bring chips or something."
"They're...not exactly the type to do that...Toshiro might...maybe...or Chad. But that's about it," he says, opening the door.
"Strawberry!" Boobzilla yells, glomping him when she sees he's ok.
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that."
"You did," she smiled. "But it's so cute. Plus it's your name, I can't stop calling you by your name."
"My name is Ichigo."
"Which means strawberry. So are you feeling better?!"
"Yeah. Uh...Matsumoto?"
"Yeah?" she asks, hugging him tighter. I wonder if I could escape back to my room before they notice...
"Two things. One, what are you doing here?"
"We came to check up on you!"
"What about school?"
"Don't worry, we checked with all the teachers. We aren't doing anything. Oh, but we do have school work for the last couple days you guys missed. Oh my god, Shiro! Did you start your drawing yet? Do you know what you're gonna do?"
Guess escaping isn't an option anymore... "I only have a few doodles. Nothing definitive."
She pouts, "At least you have that. I haven't even started yet! And Shiro-chan is already almost done!"
"What are you guys talking about?" Ichigo cuts in.
"It's an art project!" Boobzilla said happily. "We were partnered up with someone at our table and we have to draw them, but the teacher wants us to get creative and draw more than what you see. Shiro-chan and I are partners," she says, letting go of Ichigo to latch onto Frodo.
"So I guess that means you and I are partners?" he asks.
I nod.
"I smell bacon!" the ditz says, running into the kitchen. I hope she doesn't start cooking anything...
Boobzilla immediately follows her with Frodo not far behind. Just to make sure nothing is set on fire I follow as well. They're both hovering over the plate with the bacon on it, muttering to each other.
"Do you have any corn?" the ditz asks.
"Why do you need corn? You know what, never mind, I don't want to know. And no I don't. Everything in my house is instant. If you want something else you have to go get it."
"Time to go shopping!" the two strawberry blondes say, clapping their hands together. As long as it keeps them away from here for a while I don't care what the hell they do. "Come with us Shiro-chan!"
"It's not like I have much choice, is there," Frodo says.
They both squeal and go running out the front door, dragging Frodo with them. I wonder why he lets himself get dragged into shit like that. It doesn't seem enjoyable and it doesn't seem like he's getting anything out of it. Or maybe they're like Nel and they terrify people into doing what they want...that's a really scary thought...we do not need more people like that in the world.
I'm not sure where Ichigo's gone at this point, but I don't see him. I almost go with my original plan to get more sleep, but I don't really want to leave them to their own devices in my house. I'm pretty sure something would explode if I did. So I sit on the couch and wait for them instead, extremely tempted by the idea of sleeping here.
They come back a while later, but it sounds like there are more of them this time. Where the hell do they keep getting all these people? Are they hiding in a cave somewhere around here (haha cave)? A black hole?
Ichigo comes out of...I have no idea, but he comes back to open the door. And with their small group is one of the last people I was expecting to see...Nel.
End of Chapter Crap
Ok, usual credit goes to Redfaerie. She wants special credit for this line she came up with: Seriously. Was someone just sitting around thinking, "Wow, if only this phone would yell 'Superman that ho' whenever my mother called"...
Soulja Boy obviously isn't mine. I wouldn't want it.
Ok, there's a thing behind the cave. Redfaerie was watching the Tyra show when this guy decided he was going to go gay because he was afraid he'd lose his dick in a woman's vagina, which he called the cave. (I personally don't have that fear. I may not want to have sex with a woman, but I don't fear her crotch.)
The Making Of
Grimmgray: I don't have time to think about it because suddenly Soulja Boy starts playing...and it's coming from my bathroom...why the hell is Soulja Boy in my bathroom?
Xen: wow..
Pharitse: ...rape!
~*~
Grimmgray: "Is he ok?"
"I doubt it."
"Oh my god, what happened?! Was he shot?! Stabbed?!"
Redfaerie: hahahahaha. Where the hell did she grow up? Oakland?
Grimmgray: earlier "Ichigo? Are you ok? Were you abducted by aliens?"
Redfaerie: ....O....Berkeley
~*~
My friend can't read (it's actually really funny): i don't have food for sick people=i don't fuck sick people