A/N: Hi! This chapter, and the ones after this one, will take placea few years before chapter 1. I also want to say that this story doens't completely follow canon, the only thing in this story that follows canon is the slap from chapter 1. As promised, this chapter is longer than the previous one! Please let me know what you think, I'd love to get some feedback.

Enjoy!

CHAPTER 2

I groaned loudly when I was woken by the screaming sound of my alarm clock. This morning wasn't different from all the others. I woke up, and instantly felt like crying. I hated waking up. It meant that I had to drag myself out of bed and into another day. Another day of doing things I didn't want to do and talk to people I didn't want to talk to.

I reached my hand to my bedside table, searching for the snooze button, but not minding to open my eyes. I slammed the button when I found it, and then covered my face with the palms of my hands.

Oh, what I would give to be able to just close my eyes, and hide in my bed for the rest of my life.

I allowed myself to relax for a few moments more, until the alarm clock went off again. I slammed the button to make it shut up and pushed myself to get out of bed. I sighed while I stumbled through my room, eyes still stinging from sleep, searching for my Cheerios outfit.

I groaned when I pulled the fabric over my head and moved to the bathroom to start my morning ritual.

Here we go again.

xxxxx

I enjoyed the rays of sun, beaming through my window and warming my face, a few minutes later while I watched myself in the large mirror in my room. My eyes roamed my own body, looking for imperfections. I reached out to my dresser and grabbed the lip gloss that was lying there, and applied a nice layer on my lips, before giving myself a wink in the mirror. There, now my look was complete. Aside from my empty, emotionless eyes, I looked awesome.

Hello head cheerleader.

I bent over to get my bag, slung it over my shoulder and left my room, sighing with every step down the stairs. The house was quiet and empty, as always, my footsteps sounding hollow in the hall. I shot a look at the clock on the wall. I had to hurry if I wanted to be able to get some breakfast.

My mom never made me breakfast. She usually had already left for work when I came out of bed, and when she wasn't working she wouldn't come out of bed until noon, so I had to take care of myself. It had always been that way.

When I entered the kitchen the smell of smoke and alcohol invaded my nostrils. I looked around; the house was a fucking mess. Dirty dishes were everywhere, along with empty packets of cigarettes and crumpled boxes where once food had been in. A few empty bottles were huddled together on the counter top.

I positioned my bag next to them, giving them a quick glance, before opening the cabinet, looking for something to eat. I found an almost empty box of cereal and opened the refrigerator for some milk. I was greeted by an empty fridge.

"Fuck," I cursed to myself. "Doesn't even bother to make sure there's some fucking food in this house," I muttered under my breath.

I took a bowl out of the cabinet and filled it with the cereal. I reached for a spoon and started scooping the dry circles into my mouth. Positioning my lower back against the counter, I looked around the room.

"What a fucking mess."

With the bowl clutched in my hand, I walked out of the kitchen, into the living room. It wasn't much better there. Dirty clothes were lying in a pile in the middle of the room along with some used tissues. My breath hitched a little when I saw two empty bottles standing on the floor next to the couch. On the couch lay an old comforter, red stains visible in the fabric. My brow furrowed in frustration.

"God!"

I sighed and slammed my bowl onto the coffee table, making the spoon clatter against the rim of the bowl.

"Fuck it," I muttered, while walking back into the kitchen and reaching for my bag. I rummaged through it until I found my packet of cigarettes. I took one out and lighted it, before swinging my bag over my shoulder and walking out of my house, slamming the door shut and sucking hard on the cigarette, blowing the smoke into the morning air.

xxxxx

"Santana! Santana!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed when I recognized the voice

Maybe if I just pretend that I didn't hear her, she'll go away.

Ever since Rachel had caught me singing that one time, she stalked me, practically begging me to join the glee club.

It had been a month or so ago; I had had a free period, so as usual I went under the bleachers to just listen to some music and smoke. I always went there; it relaxed me and gave me the chance to clear my head. No one else ever came there, it was really my spot. So I was laying there on my back on the ground, music blaring through my earphones, while casually raising my cigarette to my mouth, only to blow the smoke up in the air a few seconds later. I don't know why, but suddenly I started singing along with my music. It had felt good.

Until Rachel's head popped up and tried to talk me into joining the glee club, and informing me about all the harm that smoking could do to my voice.

I loved singing, it made me feel… free… like I was in control of something, but I knew that joining the glee club was the same as committing suicide. If I wanted to join glee club I could as well search the highest bridge in the country and throw myself off of it. Glee club was for losers, not for cheerleaders.

So I sped up my pace and walked through the school hall, trying to shake off my follower. No matter how fast I would walk, I could hear the footsteps drawing closer nevertheless.

"Santana, have you already thought about what I asked you last week?" she asked when she caught up with me.

I looked to my left, where Rachel was beaming at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. From the corners of my eyes I could see some of the other Cheerios leaning casually against the lockers, talking to one another. I saw them flick their eyes towards me and Rachel every now and then, the confusion evident in their eyes, wondering why one of the school's biggest losers was talking to the head cheerleader.

I turned my gaze to Rachel again and rolled my eyes.

"Rachel, have you already thought about hanging yourself, like I ask you every day?" I answered, mimicking her voice.

Some of the Cheerios laughed at my remark. Some regular kids that were rummaging in their lockers looked at me with a shocked expression, but averted their gazes when I shot them a look.

Good. They still know who's in charge here.

Rachel huffed, but tried again nonetheless.

"Please just think about it. I for one have a great eye for talent, and you're so lucky that I saw yours. Maybe it's a once in a lifetime thing, Santana. You'll never know if someone else is going to see your talent like I do," she continued while still following me through the hall.

I grunted and stopped in my tracks. I turned around slowly and watched the petite girl in front of me. I arched my eyebrow before I spoke.

"Yeah, and I see your huge nose poking into my grill, so if you want to keep that huge thing on your face, I suggest you gets the hells out of my sight afores I smack it back to Israel."

Rachel's shoulders dropped and I could see the hurt creep into her eyes. Although the remark must've warned everyone in the school hall not to annoy me, I could still feel a little bit of guilt gnawing inside of me. I saw Rachel's hurt expression, and the feeling grew stronger, so I averted my eyes quickly.

It's her own fault, she shouldn't be so damn annoying and now everyone knows that Santana Lopez is still the head bitch in charge. You're not just a regular bitch, Santana, you are a bitch because you need to be a bitch.
I repeated that a few times in my head until I could feel the guilt slowly ebbing away.

A moment later I saw a familiar blonde approaching from over Rachel's shoulder. Quinn must've heard what I said to Rachel, because she was smiling smugly.

"Out of my way, dwarf," she sneered while pushing the brunette aside and striding up to me.

"Good one there, Lopez," she said while linking her arm through mine, leading me through the hall. I smiled smugly.

I could hear the sound of Berry collapsing into the lockers from the force of Quinn's push behind me.

Quinn ignored it.

"You know me, Fabray."

We walked to my locker together, leaving Rachel alone in the crowded hall. I shot her one last look. She was bending over to pick up the books that had fallen out of her arms when Quinn had shoved her. I sighed and shifted my gaze quickly.

All the kids in the hall made room for us to get through. Quinn and I were like Moses; wherever we came, the crowd would always part to let us through. The popular kids would smile and wave at us when we passed and the losers would just lower their gaze, minding their own business, afraid to be sneered at.

It wasn't really what I wanted. Being popular. Everyone at school saw me as this bitch, this heartless, cold person that would crush everyone beneath her and that would do anything to stay on top. And honestly, I hated it. I hated being thought of like that.

Hurt people before they can hurt you

But I had to. I had to make sure that people were scared of me, that they wouldn't dare to get onto my bad side. Because if I didn't, people would use me. If I was nice to everyone, I would only end up hurt. Because that's how life is. Give too much of yourself or make yourself vulnerable, and you're going to get crushed.

I opened my locker and rummaged through it, looking for my books. Quinn leaned against the lockers next to mine.

"You already heard about the new girl?" she asked.

I shot her a look, not knowing what she was talking about.

"No. And why in hell would I care about some new loser? I'm busy enough making Berry miserable," I spoke, annoyed.

The blonde laughed.

"Well, maybe this one will change your mind," she said while pursing her lips and raising her perfect eyebrows.

I closed my locker, not bothering to get my books out, and turned towards Quinn.

"And why would that be?" I asked with one eyebrow arched.

"I heard she'd been here for one day, and Coach had already asked her to join the Cheerios," Quinn muttered.

I felt my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. No one ever got asked by coach Sylvester to join the Cheerios. If you wanted to join, you had to try out, flip, jump and run until you thought you would die and then get barked at for being "lazy" by coach Sylvester, before she would even think ofletting you join. Coach Sylvester was a bitch, and she made sure everyone knew. If you wanted to join the Cheerios you had to go through hell and back, and then once more.

So Quinn telling me that some new kid had been asked to join the cheerleading squad on her first day in here couldn't be true.

"Impossible," I said flatly. "I don't know who told you that, but they must've been fucking wasted when they did. It's impossible."

Quinn pursed her lips before speaking.

"Coach did."

I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop a few inches.

Even Quinn and I had to go through all of Coach Sylvester's shit when we wanted to join the Cheerios, and we were the two best dancers in the whole school. We had had to run the field non-stop for one hour, while the sun was burning our skin, and after that we had do to the most painful stretches and flips one can imagine. After going through that torment she stilldoubted whether we were good enough to join her army of minions.

How in hell could some stupid new girl just waltz in here and get asked, she didn't even have to try out, she got asked, to join the Cheerios? Joining the cheerleading squad was one free pass to the top of the social pyramid, being askedby coach Sylvester to join the squad must be a free pass to heaven and beyond.

"What the…"

"That's what I thought," Quinn said, while starting to walk to class.

"This girl must be something then," I muttered in thought. I kept wondering what would be so special about this girl.

"We'll find out soon enough," the blonde next to me answered. "Coach told me she would train with us this week. I'll make sure she'll know who's in charge, though," she said with a wink before walking into her classroom.

I could only shake my head slowly from side to side, wondering what the hell was going on.

xxxxx

I entered the classroom and walked through the isle to the back of the class. My spot in the back of the class was still free, as usual. Everyone preferred sitting in the back of the class, but everyone also knew that that was my place and everyone knew better than to take a seat on mychair. The last one that ever tried that had to go to the school nurse with a black eye and a nosebleed.

I made sure to sway my hips just that extra bit while walking to my place. I smiled smugly at the hungry eyes burning into my backside.

It wasn't that I actually likedthe attention, I found it rather disgusting; those smelly, horny teenage boys drooling all over my body whenever I passed by, but I had to. It was what I had to do to keep on top of the social pyramid. My day consisted of only making fun of the unpopular kids and making sure the boys thought I was hot.

I slammed my books on top of the desk and took a seat. I could only sigh when mister Andrews, our short, chubby history teacher, clapped his hands in an attempt to getting the class' attention.

I rested my hand into the palm of my hand and watched out of the window. Mister Andrews was babbling away about some war, but I couldn't force myself to actually listen to what he was saying. From the corner of my eye I saw Puck, who was sitting in front of me, nudging Finn's shoulder next to him.

"Dude, you already seen that new girl?" he whispered. "She's fucking hot!"

Finn grinned and nodded his head. "I know, right!"

What the fuck?

This new girl did not only get asked to join the Cheerios, but all the boys were already drooling over her.

I pulled my right leg up, only to slam it forcefully into the back of Puck's chair a moment later.

He turned around with a questioned look in his eyes.

"What?" he hissed.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I sneered.

Puck smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry babe, you're still the hottest chick in here."

"Good boy," I said flatly, "and now shut the fuck up about that new girl before I punch you."

This time it was Finn that nudged Puck and whispered: "does that mean that I can try… you know..?"

I rolled my eyes and smacked the back of his head with my hand.

"You can try all you want, Frankenteen, but do you really think that new girl would want something with you? You're as big as the empire state building and you smell like a dumpsite. I must say that I haven't seen the new girl yet, but she must have a brain the size of a shrimp would she even considergoing out with you," I could see Finn cringing with every word I spoke.

"So I advise that you make sure that you and your right hand stay good friends, because you are going to need him for a while longer. And besides, I thought you and Berry were a thing?"

Finn blushed and looked at Puck for some kind of help, but he was too busy laughing at him.

"You two are a match made in heaven, you know," I continued, "you're almost as annoying as she is and you two have kind of the same size of boobs, so you could share bra's, wouldn't that be awesome?" I clapped my hands while grinning widely.

I narrowed my eyes until his face glowed bright red and he turned around again. Puck covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to muffle his laugh. I didn't react when he turned around and gave me a quick wink.

"My place tonight?" he mouthed.

Instead of giving him an answer I raised my middle finger. I turned my body and looked out of the window again; watching boys and girls huddled together in their cliques on the schoolyard, enjoying the weather.

It wasn't like Puck and I were dating or something. We just had an… understanding. Whenever I felt like it, I would send him a text and we would hook up. Never at my house, though. I always went to his, that way I could leave whenever I wanted to.

I didn't do it because I loved him or even liked him that way, for that matter. It wasn't "making love", or "being intimate", it was just plain old fucking. No kisses, no caresses, not even eye-contact, just fucking.

And I was always on top. Always.

"What the hell, Lopez?" Puck whispered, clearly offended.

I scoffed and turned my gaze toward him.

"You know the rules, Puckerman. I will tell you when I come to your place. You don't have to ask me. I'm not your fucking girlfriend or something."

Puck raised his eyebrows and gave me one last look before turning around and gazing into his textbook.

A moment later I was startled by a buzzing sound coming from my bag. I searched through it until I found my phone, and swiped my thumb across the screen to unlock it. I sighed when I saw it was a text message from my mom.

won't be home for dinner

That was all. No "sorry" or "there's some food in the fridge". Just a "fuck you, take care of yourself", as always. I gritted my teeth while staring onto the screen.

"Miss Lopez, may I advise you to put that thing away and actually listenfor once? This is some pretty important stuff I'm trying to teach you here. Otherwise you can come and listen to me after school," Mister Andrews' voice barged through the classroom.

The tone of his voice, along with the text from my mom made something inside of me snap, I looked him right in the eyes and sneered:

"Yah, sure. And may I advise youto use some kind of deodorant for once in your life, because you smell just like Frankenteen here." I pointed to Finn, then grabbed my bag and stood up.

Mister Andrews looked at me as if I was pointing a gun at him or something. I raised my eyebrow at him, and then marched out of the classroom, leaving mister Andrews along with my classmates puzzled behind.

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think.