The story deals with adult subject matter and occasional description of explicit sexual abuse. Not meant for underage readers. Read at your own peril. And oh, Twilight belongs to SM. This is just a fanfiction.

Beautiful Sorrow

End of Chapter 10:

Carlisle wasn't aware that he returned Edward's smile with one of his own, nor did he notice that all the tension he'd been carrying on his shoulders for the last six months had quietly drained away in a rather anticlimactic manner.

In that one moment, the average looking baby called Edward came to own him completely.

Chapter 11

Carlisle, age 18

Elizabeth returned soon and was pleasantly surprised by the sight that greeted her. Carlisle was rocking her son gently in his arms and they were both smiling. The stern, young boy who had dropped by unannounced and perused her with mistrust was replaced by a happy and carefree individual. He was holding Edward in an awkward manner, giving away his lack of practice, but the joy was clear on his face.

"Sorry for leaving him with you like that," she said as she reached out to relieve Carlisle of his charge.

"Oh, that's ok, I really didn't mind."

He wasn't too eager to relinquish Edward from his grasp, but he reluctantly allowed the mother to take over.

"Oh look, he likes you!" She pointed out with delight.

"Yah?"

"Yah, just look how he is laughing his socks off. Awww, my pretty-pretty buba." She reverted to 'baby-language' which incited a cascade of laughter and cackling from Edward.

Carlisle stood in the nursery, mesmerized as he watched Elizabeth interact with Edward. She moved around the room with such surefootedness. She entertained Edward with little hummed lullabies and rocked him until he'd settled enough to be laid down in his crib again.

Once Edward was resting peacefully, she tiptoed out of the room, signaling to Carlisle to follow.

"Ssshh." She gestured him to be quiet as they quietly made it back to the living room. Once they reclaimed their previous positions, Elizabeth grinned at Carlisle.

She found it very interesting that her son would have such a soothing effect on her unexpected guest. Carlisle had been up in arms since the first moment he'd stepped into her apartment, shooting daggers through his eyes. It wasn't a deliberate move on her part to thrust Edward into his hands when she ran to answer the house phone, but she was glad she did. The boy was practically beaming now. What a contrast to the angry, uptight persona he was exuding just moments earlier.

"You are not very used to being around babies, are you?"

"Not really." He lowered his head in embarrassment, unsure if he wanted her to know that he'd never picked up a baby before.

"That's ok, it's not a character flaw," she mused encouragingly.

He looked up and smiled, and she thought that he looked very sweet when he wasn't being so guarded. One could almost see a gentle shadow of his father when he wasn't trying so hard to ward off the world. A few minutes with Edward seemed to have relaxed the boy considerably. She decided to try her theory.

"Edward is a really happy baby. He cries very little. Don't get me wrong, it's still a lot of work raising a baby, but it almost feels like he knows that I need him to be good and he is consciously trying to make it as easy as possible for me."

"Really?" Carlisle's face perked up in fascination and obvious curiosity.

"Yes, really." She nodded for emphasis. "But I am a little biased. All mothers think their babies are special. So, maybe I am just seeing what I want to see, I don't know."

She never thought she would ever meet Carlisle in a personal setting. Whatever grand plans and dreams she had once shared with Kyle crashed and burned along with him when his plane went down. Since then she had mourned and put her life back together; she had forged a new path for herself and her son that didn't include hopes of grandeur or acceptance into the Cullen fold.

Carlisle's unexpected appearance at her doorstep today had reawakened the past for her. She loved Kyle Cullen, and by extension harbored a certain degree of affection for his son borne by his late wife. She was happy to see him, and wished she could somehow make him like her back, despite the cold hostility she sensed in him.

"Nah, I think you are right. He seems quite… smart." He smiled and looked away as he said it, feeling shy to share his thoughts. Did the word 'smart' even apply to babies? He wanted to ask her more about Edward. How old was he exactly? He looked healthy enough, but was he getting the kind of care a baby needed?

"Thank you!" She beamed. "I'm really lucky I guess. You hear all of these horror stories about colicky babies and how you never get any sleep. Well, I suppose I have it easy compared to the rest. Though, you probably can't tell by looking at the mess." She waved her hand around room while smiling, and Carlisle found himself smiling with her.

"Like the last time I took him to get his vaccines, he had a mild fever and I was afraid that he would fuss all day and I'd have to stay home from work. But he took it like a trooper. Didn't cry, didn't fuss. Magda told me he was the perfect little boy all day." She recounted the recent events with a mother's enthusiasm.

"Who's Magda?"

"Oh, she's Edward's babysitter. She looks after him during the week when I'm at work. It's not easy finding someone you can trust with your baby but that's life. I am fortunate that I found her when I did. I only had a few days to find a day-time caregiver for Edward before I had to go back to work. Magda was a godsend." She gestured with her eyes as she spoke to express her gratitude.

It gave Carlisle a pause. That's right, she worked for a living. But didn't she have family or friends she could lean on? He quickly recalled what the file said about Elizabeth's genealogy. Not much; she was a product of the foster care system. No family support.

"What about friends? Isn't there someone that you trust who can help?" he asked, not particularly liking the idea of Edward spending the majority of his time in a stranger's care.

She smiled at his naiveté. "Yes, I do have friends, but they need to work too. They can't give up their work hours anymore than I can, and I can't ask them to do that for me," she explained patiently. "You make do. That's how normal people live."

He reflected that if circumstances were different, Elizabeth Masen wouldn't have to 'make do' with regards to childcare options. If his father hadn't died, she would probably be sitting in her own house, surrounded by help, spending all the time she needed with her son.

"Is this Magda person qualified to look after a baby? I mean, does she have all the credentials and degrees?" he inquired.

"Well, she doesn't have a college degree, if that's what you're asking. But she raised four kids of her own. And Edward gets along with her. I couldn't ask for more."

"But there must be people who are specialized in childcare. Someone who's trained to look after small children?" he persisted.

Elizabeth looked confused. For some reason, Carlisle didn't like Magda, and she couldn't understand why.

"Are you talking about pre-school? Carlisle, he is way too young for that. Some places take in children at two, but he's not even one yet. And there are some day-care centers that accept kids as young as Edward, but they're either for only a few hours, or too expensive, or have a long waiting list… or all of the above. Magda is actually pretty good with him. It's quite alright, really." She tried to be reassuring.

He furrowed his brow. It was 'alright' perhaps, but it wasn't ideal. He wanted everything to be perfect for Edward. So, was that what her angle going to be? A tale of plight; her inability to provide proper childcare for lack of money?

He looked around the apartment with keener eyes than the last time. It was clean despite being cluttered. There were no signs of affluence in any of the articles that furnished the room. If Elizabeth Masen had leeched off of his father, she was hiding her secret stash well. Or could it be that she was just showing him a façade that she knew would make his heart melt?

Well played, Ms. Masen.

It wasn't lost on him that he was radically veering off the path that he'd hoped to adhere to when he decided to confront Elizabeth Masen. Her welfare was the last thing on his mind when he walked in through her door. Even as she was recounting her history with his father, he couldn't help but feel skeptical about her motives.

However, his brief meeting with Edward had changed all that. He felt a strong kinship to the infant that he couldn't shake off with cold reasoning. More importantly, he didn't want to.

Somehow, the threat Elizabeth posed to his future was of far less consequence to him now. If Edward were his sibling, it didn't matter what her intentions were, nor did it matter how much she'd skimmed off of his father while he was alive. What mattered was that he did everything within his power to look after his brother.

My brother?

He shook his head to clear his mind. Months of legal counsel and strategy meetings did nothing to prepare him for this. He was ready to confront and destroy an opponent; he was not ready for wanting to care for the said enemy.

He took a deep breath and conceded defeat.

She has won.

"Well, if you need money to look after Edward, you can have it. I will pay whatever you say is necessary to make sure he is taken care of. You don't have to compromise on what's best for him." He blurted out the words and slumped on the sofa in resignation. He was accomplishing the exact opposite for which he'd come here today, but he didn't regret his decision.

"Excuse me?" came Elizabeth's surprised retort.

"You can have what you want," he repeated. "Just tell me how much. I'll pay." He waved the white flag of surrender.

Understanding flashed across Elizabeth's face. She was speculating about the reasons behind Carlisle's sudden visit. She realized now that he had perceived her as a threat; a greedy, calculating gold digger, and was treating her as such. It made her sad, but she couldn't fault him for his suspicions. After all, he had no reason to trust her.

"I don't want anything from you, Carlisle. I am sorry if that's the impression you have. You don't have to worry about me harassing you. I am giving you my word now, myself or my son will never… we will not bother you or make any kind of demands.

"Yes, I am aware that Kyle was wealthy, but quite honestly, it got in the way more than it helped. I know it must be hard for you to believe, but I wasn't with him for his money. I'm not rich, but I am capable of making my own way in this world, and take care of my son. I wasn't trying to sing a sob tale just now to make you think I'm starving. I wouldn't ask anything from you even if I were." She tried her hardest to convey the sincerity her heart held.

"But you did. You did accept… my dad used to give you…" Carlisle floundered with his words. He didn't mean to admit so blatantly about the precedence of transaction between his father and her. His attorneys would not approve; they would see it as tantamount to an admission of liability. But his mind was in a jumble and all cogent thoughts he'd had until now were fighting against the illogical wave of affection he was feeling towards a strange infant.

Her face paled a little at first, and then she blushed. Of course, he would know about the money. She lowered her face and spoke with shame and stilted words.

"I had a difficult time with Edward before he was born. My doctor called it a high-risk pregnancy and wanted me to stay off my feet after the first trimester. The maternity leave I got from work was only for six weeks. I got unpaid time off, but…

"Kyle insisted… he refused to take no for an answer. He wanted to take care of Edward and me, and I thought that maybe he had the right…" She raised her face to meet his gaze.

"It was only temporary; until I could go back to work. Of course, he was overdoing it, giving me way more than I really needed. I have used part of it, but I still have most of it left.

"I didn't know what to do after Kyle died… I can write you a check for it; for what's left."

She made a move to reach for a tote-bag that was resting on the floor by the sofa, presumably to reach for her checkbook.

"No. What?...That's not what I meant. Please stop." He put up both his hands in the air in a gesture to dissuade her. "I didn't mean to… I apologize… that came out wrong. I just wanted to say…" He couldn't finish the statement, because even though he was back peddling now, he couldn't deny that the intended sentiment behind his inquiry wasn't laced with derision and contempt.

"Please, I'm sorry that I came here unannounced, and for acting like a… for insulting you, I didn't… I am sorry. I am not here to collect money from you," he said apologetically.

"Why did you come here, Carlisle?" Elizabeth asked with measured words.

"I…I…" He fumbled uselessly. For the first time since his arrival that day, he truly looked the part of an unsure, confused teenager. Eleazar had prepped him well over the years. He knew how to project a cold and intimidating exterior that would effectively deflect all unwanted focus from his age. He'd hoped that he was doing quite well at holding up his shield until then. But now he was flailing miserably.

"Carlisle, I am glad that we finally met. I know the circumstances aren't ideal; I had hoped we would meet under a better, happier situation, but I am glad you came today." She smiled as she tried to put him at ease.

"I don't want you to think of me as an enemy. You are Kyle's son; he loved you. I won't do anything to hurt him – or his family. You don't have to believe me, because only time can show you the truth, but you don't have to be wary of me." She spoke with empathy and kindness.

The awkward silence that stretched before them became unbearable quite quickly. After fidgeting uncharacteristically for a minute or two, Carlisle decided he should take his leave.

"I probably should be going…" He stood up in preparation. Elizabeth nodded and followed him to the door. She handed him his coat and smiled at him as she opened the door for him to leave.

"Goodbye, Carlisle. It was really good of you to drop by. I know Edward really enjoyed your visit. He loves attention, but rarely gets to see anyone other than Magda and me. So, thank you for that."

She tried to make their parting as amicable as possible. She doubted that their paths would ever cross again. She didn't want the only meeting between her and Kyle's son to be one of hostility and discomfort.

Carlisle nodded in acknowledgement and turned to leave her doorstep. She was about to close her door, when he suddenly looked back and motioned for her to wait.

"Uh… I was wondering if I could drop by again sometime to visit Edward. If you are ok with it, of course." However awkwardly things had turned out between Elizabeth and himself, he couldn't leave without making sure he would be able to see his brother again.

"You want to see Edward?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes, I would; if it's ok with you."

"Uh… ok. I guess." Now it was her turn to stammer. "If you really want to. Sure, why not? Call me sometime and we will figure something out."

"Thank you, Ms. Masen." He bade her goodbye with a genuine smile.

"Call me Elizabeth; 'Ms. Masen' makes me feel like I'm still at the office," she said as she returned his smile before closing the door.

The past hour had transformed his outlook on life in more ways than one. He had a lot to think about and volumes to re-evaluate. The path to the future that was laid out for him had shifted. He would now have to forge new passages to make room for all the changes. He knew that no matter which course he finally settled upon, Edward would always be a part of it.

AN1: You can find me on twitter: ToTheDreaming

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AN3: Story rec-Eye Contact by silver sniper of night.
Summary: Bella Swan made a choice in life, one that led her to Edward Cullen. But are her feelings for him strong enough to survive the complications that will most certainly follow, as well as the disapproval of those around them? AU human, BxE.

Tremendously well researched, this story left me thirsting for more. It features an Edward growing up with Aspersers. I can't imagine you not falling in love with it.

AN4: Thank you lulabelle98, for making all this readable. I couldn't do it without you. Please read her story The Long Walk Home.

Thanks to Tkegl, kimbo06, karebear8706, Dooba, and lulabelle98 for WCs. You ladies rock! They are all esteemed authors. Please check out their stories.

I am thankful to all those who read, reviewed, alerted and fav-d my story. Kindly review and let me know what you think. It kinda helps...